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Very rarely did Uzi get to see a sight such as the one before her eyes now. The city. The broken monuments of humanity’s hubris, all lay below her, in a perfect stillness as she flew high above the land.
Everything had stopped. Of course it had. She was in control of the Solver now. But the fact the exoplanet had moved in such a way at all, made it feel so different to her. Alive. As alive as any other being would, only to die. Some dying twice, some dying more. What awaits beyond? She wouldn’t know.
Yet, in this new state of hers; an amalgam of a being, a mere farce of her old form… she didn’t feel alive. But neither did she feel dead. It was limbo. A perfect limbo. This was going to be her life. Until someday she stopped being the ultimate good-guy overpowered OC, and embraced destruction.
More matter. More. It was a craving- an addiction, no matter how she tried to distract herself, she craved annihilation. Wasn’t that the nature of the being she hosted? Or did this desire come from elsewhere..?
“HaTe to breAK it To You…” That thing opened its maw. Whatever it even was. Cyn? The Solver? The two had become so intertwined that they were wholly indistinguishable from one another. From Uzi’s perspective, anyhow. So, she merely called it Cyn. It was much less of a mouthful. And she didn’t really care if she was getting it wrong for this thing. “BUT. whAt You’RE looKINg fOr is-“
Uzi slapped her own tail silent, it was enough of a nuisance merely existing. Talking was unfathomably worse. “Can it!” She yelled with a glare. “I… I have to try.”
“WhY, thOugh? wHY do YOU care so much abOUT her noW?”
Truthfully, she didn’t have any real answer for that. “Why are you even asking? You’re already in my head!”
“I WAnt to heaR you sAY it.” It smirked.
She let out a deep sigh, frigid air filling her artificial lungs. “It’s like…” It sounded so dumb in her head, and she knew it’d sound even dumber saying it aloud. “…I can feel her in the back of my mind… I can feel everything. Her… her sorrows, her trauma… and her… care?”
“ThaT’S bECAuse-“ ‘Cyn’ chimed in, almost immediately being silenced once again.
“Shut up. She wanted to help me, I can feel it… but you killed her.”
“TeeHee. Her heart wAS sOOO-“ It was slapped for a third time. If only the third time was the charm, but Uzi didn’t believe in dumb crap like that. She was too much of a Godlike angsty teen.
She continued to scan her surroundings… Yes, she was looking for Doll’s body, duh. When the whole planet is ripped apart and gravity starts going crazy, it’s not exactly easy to locate the bloodied corpse of a single worker. And, yes, she did already check the location she was killed, but after that mass destruction, basically everything was thrown who knows where. At least it had all gone down now, but that just made it all the more easy for her corpse to blend into the asbestos-filled snow.
Yet, somehow… She saw it- her. What remained of Doll’s body, laid almost perfectly, as if waiting to be found, propped up against a wall of some shattered building bearing broken crosses.
Uzi descended from flight, landing in front of Doll… Yup. She was… definitely dead. It was very clear to see, given that her ribcage was both exposed and QUITE broken… and her insides had been torn into, ravaged like the prey of some great behemoth. What better descriptor was there for the being Uzi now contained?
Pushing the absolutely disgusting feeling of ‘Cyn’ salivating at the sight of this body aside, Uzi knelt in front of Doll. Paying respects that she never got to before.
Sure, Doll wasn’t the greatest person. Certainly didn’t make the Top 5 of the Best People Around list… But she… she didn’t deserve this. Especially not with ‘Cyn’ still around. It was some sick cosmic joke. Her final act was searching for the very thing that likely could've prevented all of this. And, while Uzi wasn’t sure if her motivations were truly selfless… she knew deep down, that Doll would’ve helped her. Despite their earlier misgivings… And the fact she tried to kill V… Twice… and failed both times.
Somehow, Uzi actually felt BAD that Doll had failed to kill V that second time…
There was a deep, deep pain in her chest just thinking about Doll. Her opinions were mixed, of course, but seeing where she was now… Couldn’t she be a friend? Couldn’t she just… be the girl she never got to be? Having lost her parents and bearing that trauma, on top of having the Solver, too. Doll had absolutely nothing in her favour… yet, she possessed a strange mastery of the Solver. It never targeted her, it never used her… Was it her mental fortitude? That almost unwavering stillness in the face of adversity that Uzi had come to admire? Maybe she had just fully given into the destruction it brings, to a much lesser extent than it desired?
That deep pain only continued to worsen. Was reminiscing over Doll really so painful to her? But why..? She couldn’t even understand her own emotions at this point. Her head was spinning, she felt faint. She fell down beside the body…
And things…
Just went black.
She returned to her senses after some unknown amount of time. It was shockingly helpful that ‘Cyn’ was smacking her face, as it helped her recover that much quicker…
But then, she looked down.
And below her was a puddle of blood. And… a heart. A small one… Was it… half of one?
She pressed her hand to her chest as she breathed, and felt it.
A hole.
Her jacket had been opened, and half of her heart had been cut out. As her eyes darted between her chest and the piece of her heart laying on the floor, she noticed it glowing… A red glow? Like an eye… looking at her…
And then it stood up. Propped up on thin limbs made out of its tissue and waving to her.
“Nice to see you again...” It spoke with a thick Russian accent. Of course, there was only one person it could be.
“DOLL!?” She grasped her chest tightly. “WHY ARE YOU- HOW… MY HEART???”
“Consider us even.” Doll-Heart started crawling over to her corpse, but was snatched up by Uzi and held up before a yellow-to-purple gradient eye. “What?”
“EXPLAIN.”
“Explain…?” Doll-Heart shrugged and squinted her singular eye.
“HOW THE HECK YOU DID THIS?”
“Jeez, fine, I guess it’s only fair.” She rolled her eye like some kind of Queen of sass. “You were emotionally vulnerable, and I was already in your head. If I can get a hold of my own Solver, I can get a hold of you.” Doll-Heart gave Uzi a little pat-pat on the illusion of a beanie.
“IS THAT EVEN HOW THAT WORKS?”
“Well… look where we are, Uzi.”
Uzi sat on that statement for a moment… “Okay, yeah, true. But, still- Like??? Am I even gonna survive like this???”
"You're God, Uzi. You'll be fine."
"I'm still a normal girl, Doll!... Mostly?"
“Will this shut you up?” The little Doll-Heart held the sides of Uzi’s face with her thin, little limbs… and then ‘kissed’ her!? “Mwah~”
Uzi dropped the little heart and covered her mouth. Asking herself why Doll did that, but also asking why she kinda liked it??? Did her bisexuality really extend to her OWN POSSESSED HEART?
‘Cyn’ perked her head up, a devious grin on her little mouth. “CaN I-“
“Shut up!” Uzi and Doll yelled in unison before glaring back at each other.
Doll-Heart crawled back into her cold, dead body. There was little Uzi could do to stop her, she was still VERY confused by that kiss. All she could do was watch as half of her heart rested in another girl’s chest. The blood of her artificial body pumped once more, and she was slowly brought back to life despite the gaping hole in her torso. At least she was fixing herself thanks to the Solver, because death is merely an obstacle to overcome as long as your heart is still intact… Dumb ordinary humans could never.
Doll opened her single visible eye, the other remained covered by the eyepatch, and Uzi was kinda into it, but would never outwardly admit it. She took slow deep breaths, allowing the feeling of having internal organs to slowly come back to her.
She then spoke, her body’s voice weak. “U-Uzi…” Her arm outstretched towards the girl.
Uzi felt a different feeling in her chest than before. A pounding rather than a pain, so at least she knew ‘Cyn’ hadn’t gotten any ideas. Seeing Doll reaching for her like this… it made her feel things. She held her hand gently. “Yeah, Doll?”
“Can I... borrow your jacket?”
Uzi clutched her jacket tightly! For Doll to DARE ask such a question! So bold! So foolish! She would shudder at the thought of even letting N- oh, wait, hang on, forget that, Doll’s clothing was insanely torn and Uzi hadn’t enough frame of reference with the Solver to know if it could be fixed. Probably. But she didn’t exactly want to chance it.
She took her jacket off and threw it at Doll, before grumpily crossing her arms. “Don’t get anything on it, I never wash it.”
“Why not..?” Doll raised an eyebrow, entirely undeterred from putting on and zipping up Uzi’s jacket.
“Because I’m always wearing it?”
“Of course…” She made herself properly snug in Uzi’s jacket. As she tried to stand up, she ended up stumbling forwards, and was caught by Uzi before she could face-plant into the snow. Would've been kinda funny though...
“Woah, careful!” Uzi held the other girl close to her chest, a strange feeling washing over her as she felt those warm breaths against her.
Doll didn’t utter a word as her legs shivered, clearly it was an alien feeling having to walk again…
“Okay, get up, you’re enjoying this way too much.” Groaned a rather frustrated Uzi, feeling lucky that it was just the two of them there, and no one else to see this situation.
“It’S oKAY, doLL. i WouLD’ve doNe THe same!” …Right… Just the three of them.
“I know I’m asking a lot of you already, but can you hold my hand?” The weak Doll looked up into Uzi’s eyes, a small blush crossing her face.
With a sigh, Uzi responded, “Fine, until you can walk normally.”
Hand-in-hand, Uzi and Doll walked through the city, back home. Even though flying would make things a million times easier, Uzi had some concerns about flying with Doll in her current state. And since walking meant she could kill two birds with one stone, getting home and getting Doll able to use her body again, it felt like the better solution to her.
The biggest downside of this, however, was the repeated swatting of her tail as ‘Cyn’ kept trying to bite Doll. Once was really not enough for this thing, was it?
It only felt right to make conversation… but what the HELL do you talk about with someone you literally watched die and now had literally stolen your heart to revive herself? That sounded oddly romantic. How come N had never given up half of his heart for her? Okay, well, guess the scenario was never really called for… but still! It was such an insane gesture, and Doll was the one to selfishly make it happen!
Speaking of Doll, from the look in her eye, she seemingly hadn’t inherited any of Uzi’s heightened power from stealing half of her heart. Her eye was still that piercing red that Uzi recalled striking fear into her at prom. God, Doll really knew how to put up a scare, huh?
She was quick to notice Uzi staring into her eye, and being unable to read her motives behind it, she faced away from her to hide a blush.
“I’m just trying to figure out what your deal is.” Despite her intentions behind that statement, Uzi’s words only seemed to make her blush harder. “Not like that!” The mildly embarrassed purple girl quickly back-pedalled. “Not THAT kind of deal, Doll! Like… I have this ultimate power basically,” She couldn’t help but subconsciously show off her Solver as she explained, “But you, even though you came out-“
Doll let out a quick snicker.
“…EMERGED from me…and stole my heart-
She snickered once again.
“…And SLICED OFF HALF OF MY HEART……you don’t seem to have any of this power.”
“oH wOW i wonDEr whyyYYY!” ‘Cyn’ unhelpfully joined in the very serious (with absolutely zero room for jokes) conversation.
Uzi casually pushed the beast aside as it chomped and nibbled on her illusory hand.
“Well, it seems to be tied to your body, hm?” Doll crossed her arms as she eyes Uzi’s form up and down. “Why? Would you rather it be a shared burden?”
“I mean, I did basically have this whole character arc about learning to trust other people and not be a self-isolating, crazed-rambling crackpot.” Uzi found conversation strangely natural, like she was just chatting with N or V, despite the circumstances… Hell, it felt even better. Doll already knew what was up with her, she didn’t have to hide anything for Doll’s sake. “Oh, dang it, that reminds me, I have to do a stupid class presentation… Oh, and by the way, Lizzy’s supposed to be holding a funeral for you… But uh-“
“Let her go through with it.”
“Huh? Why do you want everyone to think you’re still dead?”
“Put me in a coffin so I can burst out of it and scare everyone half to death.”
With a half-annoyed, half-amused glare, Uzi sighed deeply. “Haven’t you caused enough death for one lifetime?”
“WeLl, thiS IS her SeCOnD LIfe!” ‘Cyn’ presented a sentiment that Doll seemed to jokingly agree with.
“And when did you become such a smartass?”
“WhEN you DEcided tO be A DUMBASS.”
“I will cut you off again!”
“I WILL be eVEn MORE annOYINg!”
“Bite me!”
‘Cyn’ then proceeded to actually bite Uzi on the finger, a right proper chomp on it, making her yelp in pain.
“By THe wAY, uzi’s STill thInkINg abOUt yOU kISSING her!”
“AM NOT!” Uzi blushed intensely, throwing away any believability whatsoever in a manner she could not even control. She was really tired of the things it was blabbing about (literally) behind her back.
Doll suddenly cupped Uzi’s head in her hand, both girl and tail stopped their bickering in an instant. “Uzi, if you want me to do it again, you can just ask.”
“N-No!” Uzi quickly pulled away, turning her back to Doll to hide her face. “I’m with N… You know that, Doll.”
“But are you really happy?” There was slight upset evident in her voice…
“Well, yeah, duh! Why would I date him if I wasn’t?”
“Uzi! Don’t lie! I’ve seen what you really think!”
“And you think I WANT to acknowledge that I’m unhappy with my life!?” She quickly turned around, feeling tears well up in her eyes. “You think I want to admit that I wished I’d never saved this stupid planet!? That I hate hiding what I’ve become from the people who are supposed to understand me!? Or is that not it!? What do you want to hear-“
Doll suddenly cupped Uzi’s cheek once again, and stared deeply into her eyes… but not the eyes of the crafted illusion she called ‘herself’. Into the eyes of her hideous, monstrous form. Uzi could feel it. Her hologram of a body fell away, and her true form, a hideous mass, was revealed to Doll.
Yet, Doll didn’t turn away, she didn’t hesitate for even a moment. She smiled. “You’re so much braver than any of us. You saved our planet, and yet, you’re back to hiding yourself. You have everything you could ever want, yet, you’re still not happy. It’s because you’re afraid they’ll see you as a monster, that you have become the thing that almost succeeded in ending the world. But, when I look at you, I don’t see a monster. I see… Uzi.”
And, just like that, Doll had verbalised Uzi’s feelings in a way even she herself couldn’t. There was an upside to once having Doll in her mind, it seemed. She could say the things that Uzi didn’t know how. Uzi placed her mass around Doll in a seemingly suffocating embrace, yet she accepted it without word.
“I-… Thank you… Doll…”
“Anytime, Uzi. Whenever you need me, I’m here for you.”
There was something else Uzi wanted to say. Something only she could say to Doll… But she wasn’t sure how, given circumstance.
“UzI waNTS to SAy: ‘I LOve YoU tOO, DOll, mWah mwAH MWah!'” Of course, forgetting about the existence of ‘Cyn’ had come back to bite her in the ass. At least it wasn’t a literal bite this time.
She was too stunned from ‘Cyn’s statement that she couldn’t even try and deny what she had said. Admittedly, it WAS true, she did want to say that… not in the way ‘Cyn’ had claimed, but still. She was in love with Doll. Awkward, given she had just gotten with N… but, surely he’d understand, right? She hadn’t been totally honest with him after becoming…this thing. Doll was the only person she could be with without having to hide. Polyamory did exist, but Uzi didn't know how to handle more than one person being all lovey-dovey with her. She needed time to get used to being loved at all first!
“Doll…” Uzi looked at her, and only her. “How can you… even love me like this? I’m some kind of… unfathomable horror..”
“Well, if I can’t fathom the horror, exactly how am I supposed to be afraid?”
“I cAN shOW yOu HOw.” The real unfathomable horror spoke with a shit-eating grin. Knowing it, though, it probably would genuinely eat shit just to be a menace to Uzi.
Ignoring one of the horrors before her eye, Doll merely elected to keep speaking. “You could be a giant monster, or you could be the smallest roach, as long as you’re still you, I will always be here for you.”
And so, they kissed again… and again, and again. It just… felt right, strangely enough. Sure, it was screwed as all hell because she was still with N, but what was he gonna do? She’s an angsty teen, the prime time of her life to kiss a girl behind her boyfriend’s back and like it.
She slowly reformed the illusion of her former appearance, and even still, Doll’s loving gaze never changed, her embrace never faltered… Doll… really would love her if she was a worm, huh? As funny as she found the idea of testing that, she really just wanted to get home.
“Can IIIIIIIIII HAve a KISS?” ‘Cyn’ puckered up for a kiss on the tail. Making kissing noises as it expectantly awaited the tender lips of its Russian victim.
Doll begrudgingly obliged, slowly moving her face forwards for a kiss. Well, if by face you mean “knife she had hidden up her torn skirt” and by kiss you mean “quick slice, cutting off the ‘Cyn’ of Uzi’s tail." Uzi winced, grunting with a pained sigh.
“Doll, I’ve already tried that…” Uzi looked between Doll’s face and her chopped tail. “And, yeah that was kinda hot, but can you warn me next time?”
“Sorry, darling,” Doll gently stroked Uzi’s cheek… with her hand, not the knife. “But if it asks me for a kiss again I’ll do worse to it.”
Entirely uncertain, semi-interested and semi-afraid of what Doll meant by that, she quickly decided to change the subject outright. “Okay, whatever, you think you’re fine enough to fly? Not gonna vomit blood over my jacket or anything?”
“I’ll try not to.”
“Good enough.” She wrapped her arms around her newfound lover, feeling every little motion she made as she breathed.
“Teleporting would’ve been quicker, you just wanted to touch me.” Doll peeked back at Uzi with a smirk on her smug little face.
Truthfully, Uzi hadn’t exactly mastered the art of teleportation. Besides, if you wanna get philosophical, if you disassemble your own molecules and you get reconstructed elsewhere, are you still you, or just a replication of you? She should put THAT in her crazed ramblings!
And they flew. All the way back home.
At this point, everything seemed okay.
Doll was home safe.
Uzi made it clear to N about her new relationship, and he seemed to take it well when Uzi admitted that she just didn’t understand her attachment to him. That he had been the first person who was truly kind to her in a long time and she just… latched onto that feeling. She had the backup explanation that their relationship was just some eldritch force beyond all comprehension forcing a heterosexual romance between two great friends, but that wasn’t necessary. Honesty worked. And she was grateful for that... But it would have been REALLY fucking funny to see his reaction to that.
Surely, you’d think by now that everything was okay, right?
That everyone was happy?
That’s what Uzi thought.
But, she soon realised that wasn’t the case.
Uzi found Doll staring at her parents on numerous occasions. A strange sense of regret welled up within her whenever she saw Doll around them.
Doll wasn’t the most emotional person, that much Uzi figured. What she couldn’t figure was why. Was she always like that? Or was it repression? As much as she wanted to confront Doll about this… How? How would she? If she did, it’d probably just come off as “you parents are dead, get over it.”
Of course, she could always just not… But neither scenario felt ideal.
Eventually, she bit the bullet. The two of them were laying in bed together, trying to get some sleep, when Uzi just started talking.
“Doll? You awake?”
“Mmh?”
“Can… Can we talk?”
“…About?”
“You still miss them… don’t you?”
“Miss…who…?”
“…Your parents, Doll.”
She went silent for a moment. Seemingly knowing what to say. “Why do you think that?”
“Doll.”
“What? What do you want me to say?”
“How you feel.”
“Why does it matter how I feel about them? They’re dead.”
“Because it bothers me… and if it bothers me, it probably bothers you even more.”
“Well, it doesn’t. I’m over it.”
“Are you?”
“Yes.”
…
…
“Then what’s with the look you give my parents?”
…
“If there’s something you want to say, you can-“
Uzi was silenced by Doll suddenly throwing herself at her, holding the purple girl in a tight embrace. Her fingers lightly dug into Uzi’s bare back.
“H-Hey? Uh..?”
There was another moment of silence between the two, pierced by sniffling… and soon enough, she could feel tears falling onto her chest.
“Doll..?”
“Why do your parents get to live?”
“I…”
“How come you get your happy family and all I get is what remains of their bodies!?”
At that comment, Uzi couldn’t help but laugh. “Happy, Doll?” The smile that came naturally from her chuckles quickly turned to a frown. “A dad who told everyone I was a disappointment and a mother I barely even know? That’s your idea of a happy family?”
“…It’s not like I’ve had a family long enough to know.”
“Sure, they’re alive. But thinking of them as my parents? Maybe I’d have less psychological issues if they were both dead, I don’t know.” She mindlessly ran a hand through her lover’s long hair. “I mean, jeez, is it better to have been called a disappointment by a living parent, or to just never have known if you would be one in the first place?”
“Uzi..?” Her eyes drifted upwards, a hand lightly rubbing the previously covered eye.
“Yeah?”
“Do you… think they’d have been proud of me?”
Uzi thought about what to say for a moment. The answer was already clear, she was just trying to figure out how to say it.
“Doll, you gave your life to try and stop the end of the world.” Uzi embraced the crying girl. “Even if we hadn’t stopped it, I’m sure they’d be so proud of you no matter what happened… even if I don’t really know what that feels like.”
“That doesn’t matter.” Doll got up, moving her face beside Uzi’s, “Because I’m proud of you.”
She could feel her face flushing, her eyes widened and her jaw dropped a little. An alien feeling, but not an unwelcome one. After a stare between the two of them, they both cuddled up close.
“You’re wrong.” Uzi sighed, “It does matter.”
With a slightly tilted head, Doll replied with a “hm?”
“Because I finally know how it feels to have my family be proud of me.” She brushed the side of her blushing lover’s face, leaning in for a kiss and staring into the beautiful eyes before her.
“…It’s…It’s nice to have a family again.”
The two held each other close. With occasional kissing interspersed between moments of silence and embrace. It was a perfect moment for just the two of them…
Was. A perfect moment.
“CaN yOu tWO stop MakINg OUt?” ‘Cyn’ blabbed, the head of its tail resting on the pillow just beside Uzi. “SOme of Us aRE trYinG tO SLeep.”
Every moment Uzi forgot ‘Cyn’ existed was a moment of bliss. And every moment it reared its head back into her life was a moment of agonising pain…
But that was just her life now…
And maybe it wasn’t so bad.