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Varian just couldn't sleep sometimes. He'd been this way since he was a kid.
His dad had often stayed up late trying to get him to sleep despite his numerous protests that he "just couldn't sleep"
Luckily, he gave up by the time Varian was 8, but Varian continued averaging only 4-5 hours of sleep per night.
In the beginning, when he was little, it frustrated his toddler brain. He was supposed to sleep at night. Why couldn't he sleep?
However, by the time he was 5, he just accepted that this was his life.
Night became the time that he would think of his best ideas, and he could concentrate without people bothering him.
By the time he was 14, he'd been used to this for well over 10 years.
He spent most of his time trying to break the amber, unfortunately to no avail, and the little sleep he did get in that time was plagued by nightmares of the amber consuming not only his father, but Ruddiger, and all of Old Corona, and eventually it came for him. Sometimes it was of the black rocks. But it was primarily the amber.
Once he got arrested, he really started to hate his insomnia.
He couldn't sleep through the night, so he had no other option but to sit in his cold, dark cell, and just like it had been for the past few months, any sleep he got was plagued with nightmares of the amber. And of the rocks. And of that night of the battle in Old Corona. And if he dared to cry over these nightmares the guards would reprimand him and, in the words of the captain "give him a real reason to cry"
By 16, once his father had been freed from the amber and he'd gotten out of the amber, it started to get better for him. He still had nightmares of the amber, and now of the prison, but they weren't as bad as they were before now that he was home.
But then he got kidnapped, and everything with Zhan Tiri happened.
And the kidnapping joined his little club of nightmares by the time he was 17.
Now he's 18.
Laying on the ground, in his tent.
It's around 1 in the morning according to the small clock he made.
And he can't sleep.
He's gone to Hugo after nightmares or on occasions like this where he just can't get to sleep before.
Hugo seems to have the same issues regarding sleep as he does.
So, he does the logical thing, and he gets up, puts his shoes and gloves on, and makes his way to the engineer's tent.
Hugo is no stranger to problems sleeping. He's never really been able to turn off his brain and since he was around 8, he's had nightmares.
He gets his best ideas, and his brain is most active at night.
However, it also tends to go to its darkest places at night.
However, a certain freckled alchemist has the same problem.
"Psstt... Hugo? Are you awake?" A familiar shadow whispered at the flap to his tent.
The blonde exhaled heavily and sat up, putting his glasses on. "Yeah, I'm awake Freckles. You gonna come in? Or are you just gonna stand outside?"
Varian chuckled sheepishly and came inside, sitting next to the spectacled engineer.
"Nightmares, or just can't sleep?"
"Just can't sleep. You?"
"Same."
They sat there in comfortable silence for a few minutes before Ruddiger came running into the tent as well.
"Hey Buddy." Varian smiled a pet his friend. Hugo would make fun of him for the fact his best friend is a raccoon, but his is a robotic mouse so he has no standing in that argument, at least Ruddiger has sentience. He programmed Olivia himself, even if she can learn, at the base of it, he still built her.
"Even your raccoon has abandonment issues Freckles, you rubbed off on him."
"You literally had a panic attack last week because you couldn't find Olivia." The alchemist retorted.
Hugo glanced at Olivia "sleeping" in the little bed Hugo made for her when he was a kid. She wasn't actually asleep, but she did have a programmed sleep cycle that let her recharge, hence why Hugo had made her a bed.
"Okay in my defense, she's the only constant I've ever had. Everything else is basically an ever-changing storm."
"I get that. I mean everything in my life was pretty constant for the first 14 years, but the last 4 years have been pretty shit."
"What, did you get arrested or something?"
Varian stayed quiet.
"Shit dude, have you actually been arrested before?"
"I don't wanna talk about it..."
He just shrugged. "Okay."
It wasn't uncommon for Varian to shut down when Hugo asked about his life since he was 14. They were both pretty avoidant of certain topics, so he wouldn't push it.
Varian didn't like to talk about the events of the last 4 years.
Hugo didn't like to talk about Donnie. He'd never say her name aloud to Varian, he simply referred to her as 'his mother' because she was essentially, his mother.
Varian fiddled with his gloves. Even when he came to Hugo's tent in the middle of the night, he had them on, and whenever Hugo went to Varian's, he heard him hurrying to put them on before he told Hugo he could come in. Hugo assumed he was hiding scars, similar to how he wears long sleeves himself, to hide various scars, either from jobs or from Don lashing out at him, he didn't need people seeing them.
Sometimes it upset him thinking about the fact that Varian might be hiding scars, meaning someone or something hurt him in the past. But he couldn't allow those thoughts. He couldn't let himself get attached to this group. It doesn't matter if he's beginning to find enjoyment in bickering with Nuru and Varian, find almost a little brother in Yong, and finding comfort in these late night talks with a certain alchemist. He was never supposed to get attached.
"Don't get attached Hugo. That never ends well. You're here for a job, nothing else." That's what Donella had told him.
"Hugo? Are you crying?" Varian asked carefully.
Hugo hadn't even realized it until he pointed it out.
"It's nothing... just the sleep deprivation... y'know?"
It wasn't uncommon for one of them to cry simply because they were very sleep deprived so Varian accepted the excuse, even if it was pretty bottom of the barrel pathetic.
"Can I be alone... please?" The blonde asked softly.
Varian blinked in surprise. Sure, Hugo portrayed an act that he didn't need anyone with the others but when it was just the 2 of them like this, he dropped it.
But he didn't want to push him, so he just nodded, "Sure, I'm 15 feet away if you need anything." and with that he left back to his own tent, Ruddiger tailing behind him.
Hugo felt bad.
He didn't want to push him away. He really didn't.
But it's for the best in the end.
It'll only hurt them both more in the end if he lets Varian get attached over late night conversations like this.
This way it'll be better for both of them...