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Max felt weird when he woke up, like there was cotton wrapped around him, the signals to and from his brain felt slow and it took him a moment to figure out how to open his eyes. He was immediately punished for his efforts by the light now shining in his eyes, blinding him, his eyes clenched shut immediately. He carefully tried again and after a couple of seconds he slowly got used to the brightness.
Finally able to look around the room, he saw white walls with an ugly painting in front of him and on his right was a closet and a door. When he looked to his left, he noticed someone sitting next to his bed. The man seemed to be focused on something outside the window.
Max shifted slightly on the bed to get a better look, causing a soft rustling noise. The other man must have heard it as he turned to look at him and Max felt breathless for a moment. He was absolutely beautiful, with fluffy, dark hair, soft looking lips, and the most stunning green eyes he had ever seen. Just looking at him made Max feel all warm in his chest.
He wanted to say something to make a good first impression, but his brain still felt too slow to come up with anything, so all he could think to say was: “Hi”.
“Hey you.”, even the strangers voice sounded melodic, “How are you feeling, Max?”.
He knew him? That explained why he was sitting next to Max’s bed. He could still feel the warmth in his chest from when the brunette had first looked at him and now a tingling feeling in his stomach followed it when the other send him a small smile. All these feelings could clearly only mean one thing. “I’m good honey, how are you?”, the man had to be his husband or at least his boyfriend.
For some reason the other looked confused when he replied, “Max? It’s me Charles.”
The blonde didn’t quite understand how that answered his question, but he was willing to go along with the new topic. At least he finally knew the man’s name, how he could forget his husbands name in the first place was beyond him. “Yeah? What a beautiful name, it really fits you babe.”
Now he seemed even more confused, which looked really quite cute on him.
“Max, who exactly do you think I am?”
“What a silly question, my husband of course.”
Charles took a few seconds before he replied.
“Why do you think that?”
“Well because you make me feel all warm and you are here with me, wherever this is.”
“We are in the hospital, you had to have emergency surgery. That’s why you don’t remember, the anaesthesia is still wearing off. And ehm…”, he looked down for a moment, “I’m just your friend, you and your fiancée split up a few months ago.”
Max could feel his forehead crease, none of this made sense to him and his brain still felt too mushy to think too hard about things. But he was sure about his feelings towards Charles, he could feel it in his chest.
“So I was engaged?”, a frown creased his forehead.
“Yes.”
“But not to you?”
“No.”
“But that doesn't make any sense, why would I be engaged to someone else when I know you?”
Charles made an aborted noise and started coughing wildly. Max was slowly starting to feel antsy and frustrated from being unable to remember and understand what was going on.
“Ehm, I think maybe I should get a doctor and tell them you are awake.”
The brunette practically sprinted out of the room. It confused Max and he was still hoping to get his answer later but when the doctor came and went and there was still no sign of his angel, a sinking feeling started to form in his stomach. Eventually he drifted off to sleep again, still affected by the anaesthesia.
~~~
When he wakes up his head feels normal again besides a slight headache. It takes him a moment to fully wake up but when he does, the memories of the last time he was awake flood back into his brain.
Shit, he really fucked up. But how was he supposed to know that he would suddenly rupture his appendix while playing video games with Charles, leading to him getting emergency surgery and for Charles to apparently wait at his bedside for him to wake up. God, drugged Max really didn’t know when to shut up. Why did it have to be Charles he was with when his appendix decided it had enough of him? If it had been anyone else, it would have been fine.
Like Daniel for example, they had hung out just the day before, why couldn’t it have happened then? Sure, he might have actually confessed everything to Daniel, maybe begged Daniel to call Charles or something equally embarrassing but the worst that would have come from that would have been Daniel making fun of him later. He could take that, what he couldn’t take was Charles distancing himself from Max when they had finally gotten closer after all their years of fierce rivalry. He knew at least that Charles was too nice to tell anyone about this or to be outwardly disgusted at him but that didn’t help the pain in his heart.
On top of that, his head had really started to hurt now, a pulsating pain forming right behind his eyes.
***
The doctors decided to clear him after another night in the hospital and he is allowed to go home with a mild warning to be careful with his stitches.
He was certainly glad that his appendix had at least had the grace to wait until the summer break started to throw a tantrum. Not only did it mean that he wouldn’t have to sit out even a single race, but it also granted him the additional benefit of not having to see Charles so soon after his unwanted confession.
God, how stupid he had been. For years now, he kept his secret, but one little dose of anaesthesia and he behaves like a love-sick fool right in front of Charles. The only way he could have fucked up more is if he had said these things in front of the media but luckily security kept them out.
Now Max has to make a decision though. Should he just barricade himself in his apartment and hope
Charles forgets it ever happened before the next race week or should he go and apologize to Charles but risk facing more questions? The first option sounds much better to him but what if it only makes things more awkward in the long run. Maybe if he goes to talk to Charles now, the brunette will have enough summer break left to come to terms with Max’s dumb feelings for him.
His musings are interrupted by the doorbell.
It’s probably Daniel who’s come to check on him, the mother hen.
He lumbers over to his front door, not bothering to check who it is first and suddenly finds himself facing the realisation that it’s going to be the second option, seeing as Charles has taken things into his own hands and is currently pushing his way into the blondes apartment.
The dutchman could swear he hears a scream but quickly realizes, that it’s inside his own head. His panicked thoughts are racing so fast through his mind that he can’t grasp any of them. They all just result in a panicked buzz.
“Max?”, he startles at the questioning voice coming from his living room. It rips him out of his trance and he finally closes the front door, even though he would have preferred to do so from the outside of his apartment but alas.
He takes a deep breath and tries to remember that he is supposed to be the Dutch lion, fearless in the face of potential crashes at 300 km/h, but apparently too cowardly to face his crush.
Okay, one last breath and he finally makes his way to the living room, never before has his hallway felt this long.
When he eventually arrives, he finds Charles standing in front of his couch, chewing on one of his nails, a nervous habit Max hasn’t seen him indulge in since carting.
The blonde finds that he can’t speak around the stone in his mouth, so he clears his throat which has the added benefit of making Charles look up at him.
“Erm, do you want to…sit?”
God, it feels like he could cut the tension with a knife.
“Yeah, yes, thank you.”, the Monegasque drops himself on one end of Max’s couch, so he decides to take the other end, making for what feels like an ocean of space between them, but who knows if Charles will ever want to come over and hang out again. This may very well be the last time he gets to see Charles in his space.
“I wanted to ask how much you remember from when you were in the hospital but judging by your reaction, I would say you remember, no?”, the brunette shuffles his hands around in his lap, only glancing up once.
“Yes, Charles, I’m so sorry. I never meant to make you uncomfortable, I promise I can usually keep myself in check better and I won’t bother you with my feelings, you can just forget I ever said anything.”
Suddenly the Monegasque lifts his eyes to meet Max’s own, pinning him in place.
“So you meant it? You love me?”, there is something in his eyes that Max can’t quite make out or rather doesn’t let himself name for fear of encouraging his hopes.
“I’ve loved you since we were in carts together, Charles. You used to drive me mad, the only one that could beat me, and I just couldn’t hate you for it.”
He knows the nostalgic smile on his face, has seen it too often when reviewing interviews where he was asked about their inchident. It makes him think back on those memories with fondness once again, which is why he is so startled when he suddenly has a lap full of Monegasque. It takes him a moment to register the others soft lips on his own, his eyelids fluttering closed.
Both are quite for a moment after they part from what felt like a wonderful, endless kiss.
Charles is first to speak, while Max is still debating pinching himself.
“I’m sorry I ran away in the hospital. I panicked because I was not sure if this was really you talking or just the medications you were on and I couldn’t deal with how hopeful it made me when I didn’t know if you would take it all back once you were better.”, the blonde couldn’t believe his ears, “I have loved you for a long time also.”
“Ouch!”, both of them stare unbelievingly at the spot on the Dutchman’s arm that he just pinched. “Sorry, I had to check. This is like straight out of my dreams.”
“You are such an idiot sometimes, I cannot believe you just did that.”
“But you will still love me, right?”, Max hopes his puppy eyes can sway his love, and how good it feels to be able to call him that.
“Well, I have not stopped loving you after all the other stupid things you do so I guess maybe I am the one that needs to see the doctor after all.” A deep sigh escapes him.
“Hey, don’t talk about my boyfriend like that.” The grin on Max’s face feels like it could reach both his ears with how big it is.
“Oh, I am your boyfriend now? How easy do you think I am Max Emilian Verstappen? I want to be wined and dined first, just because I told you I love you doesn’t mean you can skip all this.”, his nose points to the sky in what Max knows to be a faux insulted look, so he doesn’t feel too bad when he says, “Or I could take you out to dinner in a few hours and we use the time until then to make up for all the time we lost.”
A wicked grin appears on Charles’ face and he does a sweeping motion with his arm. “In that case, after you please.”
A matching grin stretches across the Dutchman’s face who decides to speed things up, by lifting the squeaking brunette into his arms and carrying him to the bedroom where he gets gently placed on the bed.
“To however long you’ll have me because I don’t ever want to let you go.” The brunette seems to melt into the hand on his check, before leaning in for another soft kiss.
“To the rest of our lives then because I will never let you go.”