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Niall
“You have got to be kidding me,” Niall said, shaking his head as he grabbed a beer from the fridge. “Nobody would make a bet that stupid.”
Louis put his hand on Niall’s chest to stop him from leaving the kitchen. “Harry would, though.”
Niall studied Louis for a minute, then glanced past him into the living room where Harry was busy trying to find a place to hide Louis’ phone-- one of Harry and Louis’ favorite pranks to play on each other. Niall sighed. “For you, he would.”
“So you’ll help me out? Make sure to keep cute guys away from me so I can win this bet with H?”
Cracking open his beer, Niall smirked as a thought came to him. “Should I send them Harry’s way, maybe? Bet he’d end up--”
“No no no,” Louis said, waving away Niall’s suggestion. “Don’t want him getting suspicious.”
“Right, of course.” Niall shrugged, sipping his beer. “Why don’t we get back in there so we can pre-game a bit more before heading out?” Louis nodded, heading back into the living room, and Niall clapped him on the back, eager to get a bit of a buzz going and wondering if Louis was ever going to figure out that Harry was ass over tits in love with him.
Several beers later-- and after Louis had found his phone hidden down Harry’s pants, because of course that’s a normal place to hide something your friend is going to put right next to their face --Niall was getting his shoes on so they could go outside to wait for their Uber to arrive. Harry sidled up next to him, leaning in a little closer than Niall liked.
“Yes?” Niall said, looking at Harry from the corner of his eye.
“I’ve got a favor to ask you,” Harry whispered, “before Louis gets back from changing his shirt.” Niall knew what the favor was without asking but he nodded for Harry to continue anyway.
“So Louis and I have this bet going, right, and--”
Niall agreed to help Harry in the same way he’d agreed to help Louis, of course.
-
Karaoke night wasn’t the most obvious place for finding love, but for some reason this particular bar was always full of single people of every stripe-- a little bit of every piece of the LGBTQ+ community as well as straights --especially on karaoke nights. Niall put a song in right away as Harry and Louis grabbed one of the books to share, standing closer than they needed to and with an arm around each other. Niall sighed.
“Horan! How’ve you been?” One of the bartenders, Liam, fist bumped Niall from over the bar, then went back to the beers he was pouring.
“I’ve been better, really,” Niall said, shaking his head. Liam raised his eyebrows, and Niall gestured behind himself toward Louis and Harry. “My friends are into one another but neither of them has the balls to make a move. And now they’ve made some bet about not getting laid! The first one to go home with someone else loses.”
Liam bit back a laugh, looking past Niall at Louis and Harry.
“The worst part is both of them asked me to keep guys off of them for the night like some kind of anti wingman!” Exasperated, Niall slapped both his hands on the counter and looked at Liam. “I’m not buzzed enough for this, man. Can I get--” Liam slid a shot of whiskey to him before he could finish asking for it.
As Niall took the shot, Liam looked toward the other end of the bar. He nodded at someone, beckoning them over, and then turned to Niall with a sly grin. “I’ve got an idea.”
Harry
Harry watched as Louis walked toward the toilets, admiring the curve of his bum in his black trackies. He was debating the merits of following after him when Niall sat down next to him.
“Great news, Haz,” Niall said, handing Harry a beer. “I was telling the bartender about your bet, and apparently one of the regulars has had an eye on Louis for a while now. Liam’s going to tell him to make a move.”
“Oh?” Niall’s words hit Harry like ice water.
“Yeah, and I told Liam to send you over a couple of drinks so Louis thinks you’re getting attention too. Figured then it would look like someone was coming after you too, and he’d have his guard down more.”
Harry nodded, biting his lip. “That’s a good idea,” he said with a shrug. “Who’s the guy?”
“He’s over there,” Niall said, nodding toward the bar. The man talking to the bartender didn’t look familiar, but the place was big enough that Harry probably just hadn’t seen him before. He looked good, though, with dark hair and a bit of scruff that made Harry self conscious about his own somewhat patchy facial hair. “Pretty hot, huh?”
“Yeah,” Harry said with a dry laugh. “Really hot.” Hot enough to get Louis’ attention, probably, especially if he was buying Louis drinks and staring into his eyes with the kind of soulful look he wore as he scanned the bar. Harry realized with horror that he was probably looking for Louis right now, getting ready to pounce on him the second he emerged from the toilets.
“You know, if you really want Louis to hook up first, you could pretend you’re getting chatted up by someone for a bit, maybe disappear for a while? I’ll cover for you.” Niall sipped his beer, idly thumbing through a karaoke book.
“Good idea,” Harry took a gulp of beer, his eyes on the guy who was interested in Louis. Then it hit him: the guy couldn’t hit on Louis if he was being hit on by a (secretly very uninterested) Harry. He chugged the rest of his beer, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand as he stood. “I’m gonna go up to the bar, see if I spot anyone to, uh, pretend to hook up with.”
“Go for it, H,” Niall said, only looking up at him briefly to give him a thumbs up. “I’m gonna keep looking for my next song.
Louis
The line for the toilets had been long and boring, and Louis wished that Harry had followed after him like he’d hoped. When he got back to their spot, though, he found that Niall was alone. “Where’s Harry?”
“He’s well on his way to losing the bet you two have about not getting laid,” Niall said, looking up with a proud smile. “You’re welcome.”
Louis laughed uneasily. “What’s that supposed to mean?” Louis looked around, searching for Harry until he spotted him at the far end of the bar, talking to a handsome guy with dark hair and bone structure that even Louis could envy. He was wearing a denim jacket that had the words ‘Aliens Are Real’ painted onto the back, and Louis absolutely hated him already.
“I happened to mention the bet you two have going to Liam, and he told me that guy over there had already asked him about Harry. The guy sent him a drink and Harry went to talk to him.” Niall shrugged, oblivious to the churning in Louis’ gut. “I told him I’d seen you ducking into the toilets with someone, so he must’ve thought he was in the clear!” Niall laughed, shaking his head, and Louis huffed out a frustrated breath.
“There’s no way he gave up on the bet so easily,” Louis said, making brief eye contact with Harry, who put his hand on the hot guy’s arm and gave him the kind of teasing smile that Louis would prefer was reserved only for him.
“At least you’ll win, right?” Niall said, cocking an eyebrow. “Why else would you make a bet like that?”
Harry laughed then, throwing his head back, and the KJ finally took the stage, the familiar music he played to get the karaoke fading in over the music that had been playing over the sound system.
“Goooood evening and welcome to karaoke at the Red Light Lounge ladies, theydies, gaydies, and gents. I’m your host and KJ, Alvin Knight. But you know you can call me Al. Night. Long.” He then launched into a rendition of the Lionel Richie song that punned with his name, and normally Louis would be nodding along with the music, enjoying himself, but he knew there was no way that was going to happen. Not with Harry flirting with some hot alien loving weirdo.
“I don’t want to win, Niall,” Louis said, crossing his arms over his chest. “I want Harry to want to hook up with me. Christ!”
Niall sighed. “He already wants that too, Louis!”
“He doesn’t, though. Look at him over there, he’s flirting so hard with that guy.” Louis looked back over toward Harry, who still seemed totally absorbed by the hot alien. Suddenly Niall was standing in front of him.
“Come on,” he said, pulling Louis toward the bar. Not the end that Harry was at, though.
Niall
Niall had had enough. Sure, he could probably convince Louis to go interrupt Harry and the guy he was seemingly flirting with and hope that they figured things out themselves, but truth be told he’d rather not have to manipulate or conceal things if he didn’t have to. He waved at Liam as he approached the bar with Louis, one arm around Louis’ shoulder.
“Help me out, man?” Niall asked. “He’s not gonna get there on his own.”
Liam laughed, pulling out his phone to send a quick text. “That guy that Harry is flirting with? That’s my boyfriend.”
“Oh.” Louis frowned, looking from Liam to Niall and back again.
“I told Harry that he’d told me and Liam that he was into you, which made Harry decide to go hit on him.”
“Why would he--”
“And then I told you that he was interested in Harry, which made you start to spiral, right?”
“I wouldn’t call it a spiral, exactly,” Louis said, shoving his hands in his pockets.
“The truth is, though,” Liam said, lining up four shot glasses and filling them with whiskey, “that he’s only into me. And you two? Are really obviously into each other.”
At that moment, Harry appeared. He was holding onto Liam’s boyfriend Zayn’s arm, seemingly trying to keep him from getting closer.
“No need to join my friends just yet,” Harry said, his eyes darting over to Louis and then back to Zayn quickly. “It’s been so fun just getting to know you.” Zayn patted his hand.
“You’re a sweetheart, Harry,” Zayn said, freeing himself from Harry’s grasp. “But there’s someone else I’m interested in.”
“Louis I’m in love with you please don’t fuck Zayn,” Harry said, sounding like a version of himself at two times his normal speed. He reached out to block Zayn from getting any closer to Louis, but Zayn just sidestepped him, reaching across the bar to boop Liam’s nose.
“Can I be done with this now babe? I need to head home soon to give the dogs their walkies.”
“What?” Harry said, eyes bugging out of his head as he stared at Zayn.
“You’re in love with me?” Louis asked, looking at Harry with a dazed expression.
“Can you make mine a double?” There was no way Niall was going to survive the rest of the night without being absolutely smashed. Not only were Harry and Louis-- his best friends and roommates --on the verge of actually admitting their feelings for one another, they were doing so after at least the past few months of no sex with anyone else. He was in for a very loud night that he’d rather not remember tomorrow.
One Year Later
Niall’s phone pinged on his bedside table. He paused his reading, setting aside his book to check his messages, and opened up his group chat with Harry, Louis, Liam, and Zayn. There was a video message waiting for him from Liam, and he already knew where it was from. He settled back in his bed, enjoying the quiet of the little one bedroom apartment he’d moved into a few months earlier, then hit play.
The video started with Louis standing on stage at the Red Light, holding a microphone.
“One year ago today, my boyfriend and I finally admitted our feelings for one another. It’s kind of a silly story, but we probably wouldn’t be able to tell it without a few good friends of ours, so,” he waved to the camera, “Niall, Liam, and Zayn, thank you so much for helping Harry and I get out of our own ways. This song won’t make sense to anyone else, but we hope you enjoy it.”
With that, Harry joined Louis on stage as the sounds of “The Boy is Mine” by Brandy and Monica started to play. Niall groaned, laughing at their song choice. Mid-way through they managed to pull Zayn up with them, going back and forth touching his arm but keeping their eyes on each other throughout. Just like that night, at a certain point it became clear that Zayn wasn’t actually the focus of their affections, and so he simply stood there, looking toward the camera like he was in The Office and cracking Niall (and Liam, as well as a few others in the crowd) up with his expressions.
Of course Harry and Louis ended the song with a mini makeout session, and Niall huffed a laugh at Liam’s quiet, “ugh, get a room!” just before he stopped filming.
Niall messaged the group chat: “You two are as ridiculous as ever. I would say I’ll be your un-wingman any time, but I don’t think you’ll give me the opportunity again!”
Harry and Louis’ replies came through almost simultaneously: “The boy is MINE!” They followed it up with a tag of each other’s names. Niall just shook his head, setting his phone back on his nightstand and picking up his book. He was more than happy to have retired his un-wings.