Chapter Text
“Will you put aside the latest family squabble and embrace me!” Colin said jovially as Violet and Eloise approached him with open arms. And then he saw her, all golden and rosy pink, all curls and bright smile, his breath hitched and he forgot there was anyone else in the room. She is standing not five paces away and he cleared the space in two paces and took her tiny hands in his. Thinking of those hands fervently scribbling away at all those letters she'd penned for him on his travels. Little pieces of home he received at almost every stop on his travels. He had stopped writing to almost everyone else while he was away, as he only wanted, only really needed to hear word from her. Seeing her now really did feel like coming home.
As he stood gazing at her, holding her close to him by her hands, Penelope's breath quickened. Was he really holding her so tightly? Was he truly taking notice of her in a room full of his own family? Her cheeks were turning pinker by the second the longer she thought about him in that moment. Not embarrassed exactly, but bashful at the thought of being so close to Colin Bridgerton in such company.
“Pen … I … I did not expect to see you here. Though maybe I should have, of course, visiting with Eloise.” Colin said, slightly stammering, and still hanging on to her hands. The rest of his family could only stare in silence at this most unexpectedly intimate reunion.
“Colin, I did not think you would be back so soon. Your last letter mentioned something about another stop on your tour.” She replied, squeezing his hands back so that he might not let go just yet.
He bent down to gaze more deeply into her eyes.
“Apologies, I decided rather suddenly that I could not wait to be home any longer. Something pulled me back, I suppose.” he said as his face pushed dangerously close to hers, especially considering his mother, his brother, and his sister (whose jaw was currently on the floor) were standing mere feet from them. He lifted a hand to her chin to tilt her face slightly closer. He could feel her fast, panting breath against it, and her chest rising rapidly as she leaned into him.
Suddenly Anthony burst in, pulling the two of them back into the room and their current reality.
“Colin, your are back,” he started, but quickly trailed off as he realized what he was witnessing. Colin and Penelope broke apart quickly, averting their eyes from the gaze of any one else in the room. Was it embarrassment at being caught in that moment of near impropriety? Or shyness to admit that the two of them were really that drawn to each other to what many might consider quite suddenly for the two friends.
Anthony cleared his throat loudly to bring the attention back to himself, while keeping his angry glare on Colin. “Everyone ready themselves for an outing, we are going to the horse races.” He snipped out. The entire family cleared the room quietly, Eloise grabbed Penelope's hand and pulled her from the room, eyes averted.
“Penelope, I think it is best you return home, I'm sure your mother is wondering where you are.” Anthony tried to sound as friendly as possible.
“Yes, Lord Bridgerton” she squeaked back.
As the room filled with silence and Anthony's rage, Colin raised his eyes to meet his brothers.
“What the hell was that?” He spat out.
“It was just …”
“Near impropriety in front of your own mother!” Anthony was not even trying to control his volume at this point.
“It was nothing like that, I just had not seen her for some time and got overwhelmed. It was just a …hello.” Colin stammered out.
Anthony's face and tone softened.
“I did not think … none of us knew … that she, Penelope meant that to you.” Anthony approached Colin and placed a hand on his shoulder. “Absence makes the heart grow fonder, and all that. But do not ruin that girl with your foolishness Colin.”
“You think it is foolish for me to …” Colin swallowed his next words, “... With Pen?”
“Penelope? No, it makes perfect sense. Just do it properly. For her sake - and yours.” Anthony smiled at his brother in a way Colin had not seen in years. In a truly joyful way.
Violet cleared her throat loudly to draw the two men's attention. They both responded accordingly. She did not bother to fight the smile on her lips.
“Colin, my dear, I am very happy to have you home. And to learn that much has changed in the past few months on your travels?” She approached her third son and embraced him again.
“Yes mother, very glad to be back home.” He responded quickly. “I am very happy to see everyone again.”
“I can see that darling. And she seems happy to see you, as well. I assume you two have been exchanging letters as you were with your siblings and myself?”
Colin tried to avert his mother's gaze. “Yes. I know it might not have been quite … proper, as she is not family.”
“Do not be silly, she is a family friend, I do not think anyone would think the two of you exchanging correspondence is improper. The contents of the letters were not improper were they?!” Violet's voice started to raise slightly at the thought of what might be in the letters that would have stirred such a physical response from the two young people.
“No, nothing like that.” he reassured
Anthony broke the conversation as the Bridgerton children began shuffling back into the room, ready for the outing. “Well, I do not want to see anything improper between you two, Colin. You know how to behave yourself in front of a young lady. Call on her tomorrow when her mother is home.”
“Yes Colin, call on my very best friend Penelope tomorrow. As if you are courting her.” Eloise said sarcastically, narrowing her eyes at him.
Benedict let out a snort of laughter. “Now we’re off to the races!”
Penelope had not said a word to Eloise in the moments they spent in the hallway after Anthony had all but ordered them out of the drawing room. She was quite thankful for the Viscounts firm tone sending her home, so she took the opportunity to run away from her best friend before Eloise had the chance to question what exactly she and the rest of the her family had witnessed.
She honestly did not know what she would have said, because she was not entirely sure herself. Penelope had felt herself grow closer, fall even more in love with Colin Bridgerton with each letter she received from him over that summer. And she had poured that love back out into the pages she had sent him back, but always disguised as friendly admiration and curiosity about his many adventures. She clearly had not hidden her true feelings enough if his first response was to embrace her so intimately upon his return, and in front of his family.
She was not upset by this reality in the least. In fact, her heart was soaring. But her mind was also racing - she had never been prepared for Colin Bridgerton to actually return her affections, and now she was not quite sure how to admit to Eloise just what she was witnessing between her brother and her best friend. And what exactly had been witnessed? Was this true affection and want that he had responded with at the sight of her? Or was this a misstep that Colin already regretted? Panic at that thought made her breath unsteady again.
She had left Bridgerton House so quickly Penelope had not even inspected Eloise’s face to see if the revelation was in fact good or bad news. Did she need to explain it? Would she need to calm Eloise down and reassure her this was not a betrayal? Or would Eloise instead be just as excited as she was, at the prospect that one day Penelope might in fact be a Bridgerton, through marriage?
Once again she was getting ahead of herself in excitement that what had just transpired with Colin was what she wanted it to be, that it meant what she hoped it might, and not some misunderstanding; maybe hand holding meant something entirely platonic in Greece? And chin lifting? Possibly that was a Parisian habit for basic greetings? She should reread each letter she had received from Colin to see if she had missed some note about local customs of greetings that he planned to adopt.
Luckily for Penelope she had a day to think things through, as the Bridgertons were off to the horse races this afternoon. She made her way to her bedchamber to escape the embarrassment of what had just occurred so publicly, but also re-live each second of the moments when she and Colin had been utterly alone, lost in each other’s gaze.
Unfortunately for her, the fantasy was quickly interrupted by Rae’s knock at her door, informing her she was to dress for the horse races; Cousin Jack wanted the family to join the festivities with the rest of Mayfair. Rae was endlessly patient with Penelope this afternoon, as she picked through each day dress and jacket combination possible, why were all her clothes so … yellow? Did she not have anything in a softer colour? Of course she did not, her mother picked out everything she owned and apparently loved citrus shades more than her own daughter. The least Penelope could do for herself was to insist on the least fussy fascinator available in the Featherington house. Portia scoffed at her plain selection, no bows or feathers, but Penelope reveled in this tiny amount of control. She tried to steady her breathing and stop her nervous fidgeting as the carriage departed towards the racing grounds where she would surely run into Colin Bridgerton and figure out what exactly occurred in the Bridgerton drawing room when he returned from his summer travels.
“Mama, can I go find Eloise? The Bridgertons are also here today.” Penelope tried to sound as natural as possible as she made an excuse to part from her family.
“Yes Penelope, just don’t embarrass yourself.” Portia responded not even looking at her youngest daughter.
“Of course, Mama.” she breathed out without a second thought.
Then she began to wander the crowds looking for Colin. And it appeared he was also looking for her, as the two of them made easy eye contact across the field of spectators looking for seats.
“Pen! There you are!” He called excitedly.
“Colin!” was all she could manage at the sight of his smile.
He made his way to her so quickly observers might call it a run. He closed the distance between them before Penelope could think of anything else to add to her initial, awkward greeting.
“Pen, I … I wanted to apologize for this morning.” he stammered out.
“Oh, yes. This morning. No need to apologize.” She lost any courage she might have managed at that moment.
“No, not apologize, I should say. But just for … in front of my family, I mean. I … do not know what came over me …” he was trying to say something that was not coming out quite correctly, as he was very distracted by her lips at that moment. When had Penelope developed such kissable lips? Just in the few months he was gone?
Penelope bit that lip trying to maintain the bravery required to hold Colin’s gaze. She managed it for a few moments, but he was staring at her in a way that made her feel like she had something on her face. Colin reached out to grasp her hand, for the second time that day. The surge of energy that shot through Penelope’s body at his touch gave her the confidence she needed to look up at him in earnest.
“Colin, I missed you while you were gone. Is it presumptuous to assume that you missed me as well?” She said in a voice she barely recognized, a confident one.
The directness of her question caught him somewhat off-guard, but he could not deny what he felt, what his heart was telling his mind he felt, as he looked at his friend and saw something so much more.
“Yes Pen. I did. More than I could have imagined I would miss anyone.” He smiled at her.
She squeezed his hand. Partially to communicate her happiness at his response, but also to remind him he was still holding it, in case he did not want to be. But instead, he squeezed it back. Her heart was suddenly in her throat.
“Colin Bridgerton!” a very motherly tone from Violet Bridgerton called a few feet away. And suddenly both their eyes were looking at Lady Bridgerton, looking at their touching hands. Which dropped apart before she could approach them.
“Good day, Lady Bridgerton!” Penelope attempted to cover their impropriety with a warm tone.
“Good day, again, Penelope. It is very nice to see you twice in one day. Isn’t it Colin?” she said as she draped her arm around Colin’s shoulders.
“Yes, I am a very lucky man to see her twice in one day, mother.” Colin said with a smile, holding Penelope’s gaze. She could feel her cheeks getting so pink she might match her jacket by this point.
“Penelope, you and your mother, and Lord Featherington should join us for dinner sometime soon. To welcome him to Mayfair. I think it might be appropriate for your mother and I to get better acquainted, considering.” Violet said in a friendly tone as she looked from Penelope to Colin and back again.
“Yes, thank you Lady Bridgeron, I will have my mother find you to discuss after the races.”
“Pen, why don’t we go find your mother now,” Colin said, offering his arm for her to hook hers through. Penelope was beaming, but before she could actually touch Colin again, Eloise raced up and hooked her arm around Penelope’s opposite side, pulling her away.
“There you are Pen! I have been searching for you everywhere!” She was nearly frantic.
Penelope gulped and looked from Violet to Colin. No use in delaying the myriad of questions that she knew she was about to hear.
“El, you found me.” she ground out.
“We need to talk.” Eloise replied to Penelope, but was looking directly at Colin as she said it.
“Should I join you two?” Colin asked.
Eloise narrowed her eyes at her brother.
“Perhaps these two friends need to speak in private, dear,” Violet took Colin’s still extended elbow and led him away towards the horse racing track.
Eloise waited until her mother and brother were out of listening distance before starting in on her friend with her list of questions.
“What was that?!” was the very first one.
“What was what ?” Penelope asked back, not really sure where Eloise wanted to begin.
“All of it, I suppose. The look you gave Colin just now for starters, or maybe the one you gave him in my drawing room this morning. When he almost kissed you.”
That was a few questions in one, and Penelope parsed each one carefully before she dared open her mouth to respond.
“Yes, this morning.” She delayed the answer. “I suppose he just missed me, and I … missed him, on his travels.”
“Since when do you miss my brother, Pen?” Eloise shot back. Penelope stood in silence, biting her lower lip.
“We exchanged quite a few letters over the summer and I suppose we grew quite … close.” She tried to sound light and casual.
Eloise had the strangest look on her face as she considered what she had just heard. Not quite a smile, but not really a frown either. Penelope did not know what to do in this silence so she tried to fill it.
“And I just got to know him so much better, and we have known each other for so long, since we were children, and we dance sometimes, and jest, and gossip so naturally it …”
“So naturally you and he should eventually hold hands, and touch faces, and kiss, and … Oh Penelope do you know what this means?!” Eloise cut in with a stream of thoughts.
“Eloise, he has not kissed me yet …” Penelope tried to calm her friend down, still not sure if her rapid speech was in anger or excitement.
“It means you might be my sister!” She cut in again. “If he does not mess this up!”
Penelope’s smile returned as she let a reassured breath escape her lungs. She had not realized she was holding her breath until that moment, and now her whole body seemed to relax.
“But you must not become one of those boring married women, Pen? Just making babies and doing embroidery all day?” Eloise continued.
“I don't even know how to do embroidery, El. And please do not get ahead of yourself - I don't know that Colin plans to marry me.” Penelope tried to sound nonchalant, and fought the smile the idea gave her.
“But he will, Pen. Of course he will. Why wouldn't he?! It's perfect, he knows you so well, and you two are always talking about the strangest things together. And he can tell you all the boring things I do not wish to hear about. Already he will not stop talking about his travels through the continent. You are going to regret ever volunteering to listen to him for the rest of your life. But you will always be around at Bridgerton house now more than ever before.”
Penelope could not help but laugh at how well Eloise seemed to be taking this news.
Penelope was actually starting to feel flustered with the ups and downs of the day. She just wanted to find Colin and exchange a few unmonitored words with him. Something that she had almost taken for granted all summer was suddenly the most difficult, yet the most important thing she could be doing.
“Pen! Pen!” She heard his voice cut through the murmur of the crowd, and looked in the direction of the sound. El pulled her towards the very large group of Bridgertons that had grown by the addition of Edwina and Kate Sharma.
“Pen, I saved you a seat with me.” Colin called from beside Benedict. She could not fight the smile from growing on her face this time, as Colin took her hand to help her to the raised bench seat.
“Good day, again.” she said as she sat between the two brothers. Eloise took the spot on the other side of Benedict and the two of them were immediately arguing over the meaning of the statistics in the race program.
Penelope and Colin sat for a minute in nervous silence. Colin had always made her a little nervous, but she always had something to say to him despite that. But suddenly everything she thought she might say seemed silly, a joke or a piece of gossip isn’t something one would share with a suitor. At the same time, Colin was running through all the stories he had already told Penelope of his trip in his letters to her. He did not want to bore her by repeating a story. He wondered why wasn’t she telling him some new piece of Mayfair gossip she always seemed to know …
“Do you have any exciting gossip to share? Any scandalous stories I missed while away?” He finally cut the quiet between them.
“Oh, really? Of course I do! But I did not think you would want to talk about that.” Penelope said shyly.
“That is always what we talk about, Pen.” he quipped back casually, brushing her hand with his as it rested on the bench between them. She swallowed and then forced herself to relax.
“I suppose that is true.” she said with a smile.
They forgot to watch the horse race as the crowd stood and cheered around them, they were too caught up in the story Penelope had heard about Lady Penwood’s most recent round of housemaid firings over some missed polishing duties.