Work Text:
“You monster! Get away from him!”
“Shen QingQiu self-destruct!”
“Where's Mu QingFang-”
Chaos echoed all around as Luo Binghe sat in a daze, holding Shizun's body, staring down at his face. His mind is clear from XinMo - that wretched sword - Yet his heartbeat still feels like it ran a marathon, thumping so loudly he can hardly register the commotion around him, ears ringing, pupils shrinking as realization dawns on him.
No.
His hands shook, shaking the body within his embrace.
“...”
“S-Shizun…?”
“Shizun…”
“Shizun, Shizun-!!”
He calls out, getting more frantic each second. He can feel his throat clogged, unable to describe what he's feeling.
It hurts. It hurts so much. His chest hurts so much. His whole body aches and tense at the same time.
Why? Why did Shizun do that? For him? After- after everything he did. Every shameful, disgraceful thing he did.
After everything, Shizun still tried to protect him. (He even di- no. No. He refused to acknowledge it.)
Luo Binghe clung to the cold body tighter.
“Beast! Get off!”
Liu Qingge shouted, rage all over his face. He steps and wrenches Shen QingQiu's body. But Luo Binghe's grip is strong. He doesn't relent. Both of them glared at each other, a pass of silence before Liu QingGe unsheathe his sword, starting the fight for the cold body. Luo Binghe won't back down so easily. Years in the abyss heightened his skills, and with a growl, he readied himself.
Shizun had fought for him.
Now he must do the same.
======
In the end, Luo Binghe was successful in storing the body. He had summoned Mu QingFang - that useless doctor - to no avail.
No solution, the doctor said.
What bullshit. Luo Binghe will find a way. He knows he's smart - Shizun was very proud of this - and he will find a cure.
He poured rivers and rivers of spiritual power, everyday. Every night. Without a break. He won't forgive himself if he let Shizun's body decay. Even when he needs to attend Demonic affairs, even after he got into another fight with Liu QingGe, even when he's badly injured, heavily exhausted, he doesn't forget his duties.
Luo Binghe made meals. Meals that Shizun had like, had praised him for it.
(“Binghe's cooking is great as always,”)
(“This master appreciates Binghe's tending,”)
(“Binghe is a good disciple, don't let them bully you,”)
(“Binghe, this master is proud of you,”)
====
Luo Binghe often fell asleep holding the body. He has an abundance of spiritual power, yes, but sharing one's power is always an exhausting task.
Not like He minded. It's all worth it, seeing Shizun's clear face as if he's only peacefully sleeping.
Most of his dreams are a mess. He blamed Himself, wanting to just throttle himself with how much guilt choking him. (He knows he can't, or else Shizun's sacrifice will be wasted.)
Sometimes, he let himself indulge in a sweet dreams, where none of the mess happened. Where he's still at QingJing Peak, practicing sword and music and art. Hearing Shizun's lecture, the cool and even tone voice, when shizun corrected his posture, or when nodding in approval when he cooked a good meal, brings immense calm for him. Of course, he's wretched back to reality once he wakes, needing to attend to other shitty matters.
Sometimes, he let his messy mind do the dreaming. He let loose, wreaking havoc in his own dreams. That old dream demon told him it's harmful. But why should he care? He dreams of the fights, dreams of the abyss, nightmares after nightmares he conquered, shredding and ripping them off without care. He often finds himself hugging tighter to the cold body after this, mumbling-
“Shizun.. shizun..”
“Please wake up soon…”
“I… this disciple can't hold on much longer…”
(Yet he will persist. Spending thousands of days waiting and waiting.)
===
Luo Binghe wanted to get stronger. Yet, now, when he's powerful enough, he can't even protect the only important person to him. Worse, he had made that person self-destruct. All for him. All because of him.
Luo Binghe despises himself.
Thankfully, the demonic realm gave him a way to manage his emotions. He's ruthless with the demonic affairs, sparing none that dared to challenge Him, dared to question his skills. He conquered, won battles after battles, managing more and more territories. Unable to always be in the demonic realm, Luo Binghe brought paperworks to Huanhua Palace, managing them in the room where he placed Shen Qingqiu.
He can't help but wonder, what will Shizun say, seeing him doing his work dutifully?
Will shizun praise him? Or scrutinizing his hand writing, or how he holds the brush, or read the Papers silently?
Luo Binghe knows shizun likes to read. Shen Qingqiu is very knowledgeable. Even when Luo Binghe read all the scrolls in QingJing Peak, Shizun still manage to tell him something he doesn't know. Something that's not recorded, or forgotten long ago, making him admire the person more and more. (He had his suspicions, but he didn't care).
===
Luo Binghe handled Shen Qingqiu body with care. He doesn't touch where he's not supposed to, carefully wrapping the body with proper garments, and made sure that the position is comfortable when he passes spiritual powers, cradling that cold body gently to his chest.
He remembered Shizun did this position too, back when he's still a young immature teenager.
Shizun had scolded him that day, frowning and sighing heavily at his antics. Yet he still took care of him, getting his robes wet when Luo Binghe jumped into the pond.
He let himself smile at the memory, hugging the body closer, streams of spiritual power pouring out and repressing the living mortis threatening to appear.
“Shizun,” he calls out, tone unbearably soft.
“Shizun, this disciple had another fight today,”
“Shizun, this disciple found a good recipe. It will surely satisfy Shizun,”
“Shizun…”
He rambles on and on to no one, not expecting an answer. (Though deep in his heart, he wants to expect.)
Only two of them in the room, one warm one cold.
The moonlight illuminates where they laid.
Loneliness palpable with a glance.
A beautiful yet heartbreaking sight.