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Fruitcake commit tax fraud: The Fic

Summary:

Cosmo and Sprout commit tax fraud (I orginally made it for an English assignment, so all swearing and profanity was added to this one).

Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes.)

Work Text:

Sprout and Cosmo were they baking at their shared home, like any other day…..Until there was a deafening, commanding knock at the door, Sprout and Cosmo both jolt up, realizing who's here. "THIS IS THE IRS, WE COMMAND YOU TO OPEN THE DOOR, OR THERE WILL BE CONSEQUENCES !" They hear from the door, the knocking growing louder and louder each minute. "Oh fuck Sprout do we do!?" Cosmo yelps as he drops the tray of cookies he just took out of the oven, his heart pounding in horror. "They're here! We're doing to fucking prison!" The roll cake sobs on his knees. Sprout grabs his best friends shoulders; a determined look and his face. "No we’re not damnit, go get shortcake!" The strawberry demands, hugging the sobbing Cosmo. "I'll keep them busy while you go get her." Sprout whispered.

"B-Bu-" *Cosmo starts, but Sprout interrupts with: "NO BUTS YOU ABSOLUTE FAG (yes I can say that dw), JUST GO!" And with that, The roll cake dashes up the nearby stairs, while his best friend sighs, gently opening the door.
"Hello sir, are you Sprout (last name here)?" The officer asks, and Sprout nods, his eye twitching ever so slightly. "Yes that's right, that's me." He responds, their heart slightly pounding. "What seems to be the trouble officer?" He asks, trying to play dumb; the officer hums softly, pulling out a document. "We've got a statement from the landowners saying you haven't paid anything sort of tax in about 2 months, have anything to say about this?" The strawberry's eyes widen, trying to portray innocence "That's odd." He said, taking the document in his hands. "Are you sure there wasn't a mistake sir? This is the first time I've ever gotten something like this." He lied, in reality, he has gotten multiple documents from there stating his crime; but he just always burned them. "Yes, your landlord came to us confirming their claims." The officer responds, coming closer to sprout, who takes a step back.

"W-What the fuck are you doing!?" The strawberry yelped. "Now Sir, I'm just going to take you to the station for que-" As the officer was about to grab their, Cosmo get in front of Sprout, holding an enormous dildo-shaped party popper.
"Sprout, START RUNNING!" Cosmo says, pulling the poppers string. Sprout grabs Cosmos hands and dashes into the street. "THEY'RE GETTING AWAY!!" The officer said, but it was too late; as the food faggots (once again, I can say that) had already ran off into the city, never to be found again…

 

THE END

Notes:

Yes I am still working on requests, I just thought I’d post other stuff too :9