Chapter Text
Clarke was out on a hunting trip.
It was one of her most favorite things to do. She loved everything about it, the adrenaline of the hunt, stalking her prey, killing it with one throw of her spear, chasing after it if she didn't, ect. It made her feel so free. Hunting was one of the things that helped her get through her dark days, more like months, after Mount Weather. It was one of the only times where she could just shut her brain down and focus on her senses and surroundings.
It's been a little more than 2 years since Mount Weather, after she told Bellamy goodbye and left. Clarke had wandered in the woods for days, weeks, months, trying to survive but failed miserably. She should've thought it through before she left, maybe have taken some food or water because the first few days were the hardest. She almost froze to death the first night alone. But somehow she survived and somehow she had wandered far enough through the woods that she stumbled across Polis. She didn't know it was Polis at first, not until the guards brought Clarke to her.
Clarke still remembers everything that happened that day. She still remembers how Lexa stood up from her throne and all the emotions that washed over Lexa's face when she realized that Clarke wasn't dead. Relief. Pain. Regret. Happiness. Hope. She still remembers how Lexa dismissed everyone in the room with her eyes, not yet trusting her voice. She still remembers how Lexa slowly walked up to her, trying not to alarm the blonde. Clarke still remembers how she grabbed the knife hidden in her pants and held it to Lexa's neck. How the brunette even wrapped her hand around her shaky hand and pushed against the knife more. How soft and vulnerable her voice sounded when she spoke the words that made the blonde break down and cry.
'And so we meet again.'
It had taken a long time to let Lexa back in again. Days and days of ignoring her and even more days of lashing out at her every chance she could. But when Clarke finally did let her back in, she felt a tinge of something she hadn't felt in a long time.
A tinge of hope and happiness.
Once Clarke started trusting Lexa again they were practically inseparable. They would go on walks through Polis, Lexa would teach her how to hunt, fight, speak Trigedasleng and braid hair. Lexa had been right, the city did change what she thought about the grounders but it also changed what she thought of Lexa. The Lexa she had first gotten to know in the middle of a war and the Lexa she knew now were 2 completely different people, but Clarke fell in love with them both. This Lexa was less ruthless and cold. She would play with the small children, pretending as if they were in battle and they were the ones to the defeat the all mighty Commander. She would have conversations with the merchants, complimenting their work and pay 2x the actual price. She would have duels with the warriors in training, teaching them what to keep doing or what not to keep doing to improve their fighting. Clarke saw how all her people looked at her with such admiration, but she also saw how Lexa did the same.
It's funny how things turn out. If someone had told her 2 years ago that she would be living in Polis, considering herself more a part of Lexa's people than her own and that she would be in a committed relationship with the Commander of the 12 clans she would've spit in their face and told them to fuck off. But here she was, hunting down the food that Lexa was going to cook for their dinner. -imagine Clarke's surprise when she found out Lexa could cook-
Clarke was startled out of her trip down memory lane when she heard the faint sound of a twig snapping to her right. Instincts kicking in she quickly crouched and stalked towards the noise. There. It was a deer, alone and vulnerable. Clarke adjusted her grip on her spear while she stalked closer to her prey, to get a clearer shot. Once the blonde was at a an appropriate throwing distance she held the spear up to eye level, stuck her free hand out for better aim, leaned all her weight on her back leg, held her breath and flung her spear. But just as she threw her weapon the deer moved, causing Clarke's spear to pierce the animal in the shoulder blade instead of the intended neck.
'Shit!' The blonde whispered under her breath.
The deer cried out in pain and fled, with Clarke quickly behind it. The blonde had hoped on giving the deer a quick painless death, she did with all the animals she hunted, so she ran as fast as she could to put it out of its misery. Unfortunately for her, but more so for the deer, the deer was faster than she was and Clarke quickly lost sight of it.
After following the trail of blood the deer left behind, Clarke found it not so far from where she had lost sight of the animal. The blonde quickly took her knife out, ending the animals life in one swift motion.
'Yu gonplei ste odon.'
Only then did she realize her mistake of hunting alone. She wasn't going to be able to carry the deer back to Polis by herself.
'Desperate times call for desperate measures." Clarke mummered while she reached for her sword that was attached to her back.
She raised the sword above her head and took a deep breath....
Wait.
Clarke lowered her weapon slowly, still holding her breath.
She wasn't alone.
The blonde listened closer.
There were voices in the distance. Clarke couldn't make out what they were saying but she knew that there were 2 people, they weren't being exceptionally loud but they weren't being quiet either.
Clarke's curiosity took over and she got up to follow the voices, leaving her kill behind. She reached back and pulled her hood over her head so she wouldn't draw any unnecessary attention to herself with her blonde hair. She could hear the voices becoming more clear and louder. Clarke mimicked her motions from when she was hunting the deer, she crouched down and took careful steps, making the least amount of noise possible. The blonde stopped walking and hid behind a bush when she was in a moderate distance to hear the 'wanderers'.
'I can't believe I got tricked into coming on this hunting trip. It's freezing cold!'
'Shut the hell up! The more you complain the longer it's going to take to find something to kill you idiot.'
Clarke's eyes widened.
Those voices. She knew them.
But before Clarke could remember their names she felt the barrel of a gun being pressed against the back of her cloaked head.
'Stand up slowly and drop your weapon.'
Clarke's body went rigid.
Bellamy.
'I said get up!'
Clarke tried to talk but no sound came so decided it was best to just keep quiet and do as he said.
She stood there with her back towards him, mind racing. Clarke couldn't believe this was happening. Why was he even out here? Camp Jaha was miles away from Polis. Or maybe Clarke was the one that had traveled too far. She tended to do that while she was lost in her train of thought.
She felt the barrel of the gun being pressed into her back, pushing her forward.
'Move.' Bellamy ordered.
Again Clarke did as Bellamy said and started walking, keeping her head down so that her hood was covering her face too.
'Octavia!' Bellamy called out, 'I found this Grounder spying on us.'
Clarke couldn't help but grin a bit when he called her a Grounder. Boy was he in for a surprise.
The barrel of the gun stopped poking into her back so she stopped walking and waited for another instruction.
'Chon yu bilaik?' Who are you?
Clarke remained silent.
'Take her hood off.' Octavia instructed
Bellamy did as his sister said and pulled the hood from Clarke's head, revealing her blonde hair. Clarke lifted her head and stared straight into Octavia's eyes.
Gasp.
'C-Clarke?'
She felt herself violently being spun around and was met with Bellamy's shocked face. Next thing she knew she was being swept up in huge bear hug from both Blake siblings. Clarke couldn't breath, she tried wrestling her way out of the embrace but to no avail. She didn't remember them being this strong.
She took a big gulp of air when she was finally released from their grasps.
But they weren't done with her.
'Where have you been?'
'We thought you were dead.'
'Let me exp-'
'Why are you wearing Grounder clothes?'
'Why is your hair braided like a Grounder?'
'Because I-'
'What are you doing here?'
'Where did you go after Mount Weather?'
'SHOF OP!' Clarke yelled.
The events of Mount Weather and being in a relationship with Lexa had obviously changed Clarke. It had made her harder but also stronger. She learned to control her emotions, she decided when and when not to feel them. She was also more commanding, Lexa playing a strong role in that. But she had also learned to see the beauty in people when others could not, that there was often 2 sides to a person and that you could not fully understand or know a person until you saw both sides.
The Blake siblings stood there, frozen, eyes wide.
Clarke took a deep breath, 'I'm willing to answer any of your question if you'd at least give me the time to respond. I owe that to you.'
'You're damn right you do. Where the hell have you been Clarke? Everyone thinks your dead!' Octavia barked.
Clarke flinched. She knew what she did was wrong, she abandoned her people without even so much as a good bye for her own selfish reasons. And the longer she was away, the more she dreaded going back. Back to where she would be reminded everyday of what she did. She hated herself everyday for not mustering up the courage to ride back to Camp Jaha. But at the same time Clarke was glad that she ran away. Because if she hadn't she wouldn't have stumbled upon Polis and....
She wouldn't have fallen in love with Lexa.
'I needed time.' Clarke said firmly.
'Time? How about 2 years Clarke! Is that enough time for you?' Octavia was getting angrier.
'Octavia...'
'No Bellamy! Don't try and defended her. Not this time.'
'What do you want me to say?' Clarke snapped.
'What I want you to say? I want to know why your dressed like a Grounder. I want to know why you never came back. I want to know why you disappeared on us, but what I really want to know is where the fuck you ran off to for 2 years!' Octavia yelled.
Clarke clenched her jaw. She wasn't used to people yelling at her. In Polis no one dared raise their voice against her, mostly out of fear of their Heda but also of Clarke. Taking down Mount Weather gained her respect from the Grounders, but it had also made them fear her.
The blonde looked away from the fuming brunette, and only then did she realize that Bellamy and Octavia weren't alone. Jasper and Lincoln were standing in the sidelines, observing. Licoln looked calm, nodding at Clarke when their eyes met. Jasper on the other hand looked as if he was ready to shoot Clarke at any given moment. His hands were gripping his gun tightly, giving her a death glare.
Clarke turned back to Octavia, who was still waiting for a response.
'After I left Camp Jaha I wandered in the woods for months, maybe even a year who knows.' Clarke sighed. 'Until I stumbled across Polis.'
'Polis.' Octavia repeated.
Clarke nodded, 'The Grounders treated me like a hero for defeating Mount Weather and they took me in as one of their own. They offered me a home there and I agreed.'
'So that's it huh? The same people that left us to die at Mount Weather offer you a place to stay and you just agree?' Jasper pipped up.
'It wasn't like that.'
'Then what was it like Clarke? Please tell me cause I really want to know.' Jasper growled.
'I couldn't go back ok!' Clarke yelled, 'I couldn't bring myself to go back to Camp Jaha where I would have to look at the faces of your people and be reminded of what I did every time I did.'
'What we did.' Bellamy interjected
'Your people?' Jasper mocked, starting to walk towards Clarke, 'You know what actually.... you massacred 300 people. Some of them our allies and others innocent children. But that didn't matter to you did it? Because you murdered them all without a second thought. And then you abandoned us. You do belong as one of them.' Jasper spat.
Clarke felt as if she had been shot, but she didn't want to give Jasper the satisfaction of seeing her in pain so she remained stoic. If it weren't for Lexa having taught her how to keep her emotions under control she would've had Jasper pinned to the ground with a knife to his throat.
Instead she opted for staring him down. She could see the subtle hint of fear in his eyes. Fear of the unknown. Because that's exactly what Clarke was to him. A stranger, and a dangerous one at that.
'I murdered all those people to save you and the rest of the Skaikru. I had no choice.' Clarke said, repeating the sentence she had told herself over a million times, 'Things would have been different, if you and the rest of those who were trapped in Mount Weather had listened to me. I warned you, but you didn't listen. Instead you chose to be naive and live in your little fantasy. And look where it got you.' Clarke took a steady step towards Jasper. 'Alone.' Another step, 'Pathetic.' Another step, she was a breath away from Jasper. 'You have nothing left. Just the memory of a dead girlfriend, who you probably cry yourself to sleep over every night. That is if you haven't drunk yourself to the point of passing out.'
Suddenly she felt the barrel of a gun being pressed against her forehead.
She made him snap. Good.
'Jasper put the gun down.' Bellamy tried reasoning.
'Give me one good reason why I shouldn't blow her head off.' Jasper growled, his whole body was shaking.
Out of no where a knife and an arm snaked around Jasper's neck, forcing him to arch backwards.
'Because it would be at the cost of your own life.' A voice came from behind him.
Clarke's breath caught in here throat.
Lexa.