Work Text:
I can finally see,
That you're right there beside me,
I am not my own,
For I have been made new
Please don't let me go,
I desperately need you
I am not my own,
For I have been made new
Please don't let me go,
I desperately need you
-Owl City
He'd been pacing for what felt like a year and a half. Of course, it pretty much had been. He'd lost Rose ages ago, and had Martha and Donna on board, and shouldn't that have made him happy beyond words? He loved travelling with people, he always had, but it wasn't the same. It wasn't her lilting voice singing as she made tea or her giggle when he said something that she found funny.
He missed her, still.
And that's why he'd been in the library, worrying his current companions sick, poring over every book he could find, looking for something that could help him and bring her back to him. Finally, Donna had had about enough and entered the library, carrying a tray with a full meal on it.
He looked awful, all rumpled suit and disheveled hair, not artfully messy, but just plain greasy and unkept. He looked up and gave Donna a bleak smile when she arrived. "Hello, Donna!" He said, beaming, his voice not matching his expression. "Did you bring dinner? That's lovely, where's Martha?"
"Martha's asleep, Doctor, it's midnight, Earth time," Donna told him gently, sensing that her usual sass would not do just now. He needed a gentle touch, and even Martha was getting frustrated enough with the Doctor's moping that she wouldn't be much help.
The Doctor's face immediately fell. "I lost track of time," he whispered.
Donna felt her heart lurch. The Doctor didn't lose track of time, that was the one thing he could be counted on for. She set his dinner, a sandwich and a bowl of fruit, on the coffee table in front of him and sat down next to him. "What are you doing?" she asked.
He pulled his glasses off and threw them next to the tray before running his hands through his hair. "I'm trying to get her back."
It didn't take a genius to figure out what he meant, and Donna felt an odd motherly instinct kick in at the very thought. She closed her eyes. "Doctor," she started gently, "You've been trying for years, haven't you? In between having me and Martha, you were gone for ages, and-"
"I know," he cut her off. "I know what the books say, they say it's impossible, but she was impossible all on her own, wasn't she? I tried to forget about her, to brush it off and move on like I did with everything else, but I can't."
Donna patted his arm fondly. "It strikes me that you might be a bit obsessed."
He was quiet for a few moments, as though not knowing quite what to say to that. Deep down he knew it was true, he was obsessed with Rose, the idea of getting her back, of her needing him as much as he needed her. He pursed his lips and turned away from Donna, unable to look her in the face.
"I love her," he whispered.
Donna blinked. "Still?" She asked before she could stop herself.
He nodded. "Yeah."
"Well... Get something to eat, maybe you'll find something," Donna pulled him into a hug from the side before getting up from the couch and leaving him to his dinner and books. He needed her, Donna knew that, and she hoped he would find her.
********************
The Doctor had been laying in bed for an hour, unable to sleep. "Pencil in a mug," he said softly into the darkness. "Can't you call her back?" He pleaded with his ship. "Please, try. Obviously you're a ship and I know you couldn't think of that yourself but come on, you loved her too. Please."
The TARDIS gave him a sad but reassuring hum. Yes, she loved her Rose Tyler too, and knew that her Thief needed his other half back. The Doctor fell asleep curled into a tight little ball on his side, feeling emptier than he had in ages.
*******************
She thought it was a dream at first.
Rose Tyler had been (not so peacefully) sleeping on a cot in Torchwood HQ, waiting for some of her paperwork to get processed. She'd hated every second of it, kept leaving hopeful little notes for her mum that maybe she wouldn't be home tonight because the Doctor had come for her or vice versa.
She's awakened at around three in the morning to an odd tingling sensation and the sheer sound of shimmering all around her. She shivered and burrowed deeper into the covers, not bothering to open her eyes. The longer she was asleep, the less she would have to think about how alone she was.
Of course, she had friends, she was a popular woman, everyone liked her. She was kind and witty, but empty. She couldn't tell her friends about that things she'd seen in the other universe, because it was supposed to be believed that she was Pete's long lost daughter, which, of course, was not true. As much as she loved Pete, she wished certain events leading to him had never happened.
The covers suddenly felt warmer, and she pulled them up around her neck, trying to fall back asleep. She thought she really must be going mad, she could feel the TARDIS humming in the back of her mind. It wasn't the first time that had happened. She missed that ship almost as much as she missed the man who lived in it.
Upon trying to bury herself in the covers though, she felt herself brush against another body. She stiffened at the contact and sat up in bed, staring at the room around her. Squinting into the darkness, she recognized the room, she'd been in it once or twice before. On the bedside table sat a photograph of herself and the man of her affections, arms around each other and smiling widely for a camera.
She exhaled heavily and turned slowly to look at the man she was in bed with. The Doctor. She closed her eyes, knowing it was a dream, knowing it had to be a dream. His back was to her, and he was curled up into the tensest little lump she'd ever seen. Unable to resist, dream or no, she lay with her cheek on his shoulder, her arms wrapping around him. She managed to fall asleep, knowing she would wake up back in Torchwood with an ache in her heart.
********************
As it turned out, she woke to a scream. Her eyes flew open just in time to see her bedmate flailing and falling out of bed. She heard fumbling and cursing as she sat up and peered over the edge of the bed. The Doctor lay on his back, his feet still on the bed, as he stared up at her. He whipped out his sonic screwdriver.
"I don't know how you got here," he said lowly, "But I rather think you'll find that using her face will only make me angry."
Rose bounced on the bed, grinning wildly. "Doctor! Come up here, come here!"
Looking skeptical, the Doctor scrambled about for a few moments, trying to get his balance, and hopped up onto the bed with her. Immediately, her hands went up to cup his cheeks. His eyes instantly softened.
"How am I supposed to believe it's you?" He asked.
"Dunno, test it somehow, got a sonic setting for it?" She asked. "Got a 'missing best mate' button?"
The Doctor's shaky hands went out to hold her waist as he searched her eyes carefully. He leaned forward and licked a line from the upper swell of her breasts all the way up to the jaw. He smacked his tongue in his mouth as she stared at him.
"Much more effective," he promised her, "See, my saliva has processing qualities that can-"
He was promptly cut off with what he now knew was Rose's mouth pressed against his. Her arms wrapped around his neck and he couldn't help but cling to her as they explored each other's mouths, giving in to what they had held back for years before.
Finally though, they broke apart and the lightbulb went off in his head. "Pencil in a mug," he whispered. He giggled and sent a telepathic thank you to the TARDIS, who hummed rather happily in response.
"What?" Rose asked breathlessly.
"Nothing, it's nothing, hello," he said, grinning at her.
She wrapped her arms around his neck again and hugged him to her tightly. He held her close around the waist, his face buried in her hair. He closed his eyes and reveled in her touch, which he thought had been lost to him forever.
There were so many things he wanted to say to her, to ask her, about what she'd done, if she was with anyone, was she free to travel time and space, by chance?
"I love you," came out instead.
"I love you too," she said without a second thought.
He pulled back to look her in the face. "Still?"
She ruffled his hair with her fingers. "Forever."
He tackled her down onto the bed at that, his hands immediately shoving up the vest top she had been wearing to bed. He kissed her again, having no time for finesse, only urgency, because it was Rose and she was warm and she was here and oh, he loved her.
She wasn't docile either, her hands wandering quite freely as she gave the attentions back to him that he was giving her. When he sensed she couldn't breathe any more, he pulled back and immediately latched his mouth onto her neck, sucking at her pulse point until he'd left an angry purple mark.
She smacked his head lightly, "Git."
"Your git, though."
"Yeah."
He pulled back to look at her. "You are staying, right? Here, with me?"
She wrapped her legs around his waist and pulled him down on top of her, making him gasp. "Right here, if that's even remotely possible."
"Yeah," he said, "I think that can be... Arranged."
And then they were kissing again and really, the whole thing was decided.
*************
They were cuddled under the covers a few hours later, dozing peacefully and clinging to each other. Rose nudged her nose against the underside of his chin before laying her head back on his chest. "Penny for your thoughts?"
He ran his fingers through her hair and pressed a kiss to some part of her forehead. "You," he said honestly. "I'm thinking about how I asked the TARDIS to bring you back through your connection with her, and how she's a brilliant ship. I'm thinking about how well we fit, here together." He paused, still stroking her hair, "I'm thinking about how much I love you."
She curled tighter against him. "I love you too."
They lay together and the Doctor told her (Warned her) about Martha and Donna (And they're just friends, Rose, I love you. I love you a lot.) Finally, she started to doze off, fully exhausted.
"DOCTOR!" Donna's voice bellowed through the TARDIS.
"Donna?" Rose mumbled against the Doctor's chest.
"Yeah."
A harsh knocking met their ears, and the Doctor rolled his eyes. "Donna, do not open that door."
"Let me guess, Rose is back?" Donna said sarcastically. "Good morning, Rose!"
"Good morning!" Rose shouted back happily.
A long silence followed, until Donna bellowed, "Martha, get over here! Rose is back!"
Rose giggled and kissed the Doctor's cheek when she saw his sour expression. "Couldn't keep me to yourself forever," she reminded him.
He stroked her cheek gently, letting his love shine through his eyes as he looked at her. "I love you."
"I love you too."
"Do I get you all to myself tonight, though?" He asked hopefully.
She grinned, "Every night," she promised him.
And she kept that promise. He desperately needed her, but that was alright, because she needed him too.