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The way you're looking at me, girl, you can't pretend
I know you ain't in love with him, break up with him
This was either the best idea Tommy has ever had in his entire life, or the worst. He just wasn’t sure which one it was yet.
The night had started out innocently enough. He had let himself be talked into going to a bar with Lucy and Melton after a shift in what was supposed to be a couple of beers winding down, but after the bartender figured out who they were and what they did for a living he insisted on a round of shots on the house, and now Tommy was definitely feeling the burn of tequila.
Tommy had a love-hate relationship with tequila.
It turned him into a daredevil type of guy he usually wasn’t. Sober Tommy ™ was analytical. He was calm and collected, thought about things from every angle, studied and pondered on things until he was completely set in stone with his decision even if it took him days sometimes.
Tequila Tommy ™ was a different kind of beast. Suddenly there was no mountain too big to move, nothing he was afraid of diving into headfirst, and that either turned out really well for him, or really terribly.
Which is why as soon as “I just called to say I love you” by Stevie Wonder, a song that always reminded him of the one and only Evan Buckley, started playing he was suddenly reaching for his phone in his jeans pocket. The song made him think of the younger man because loving Evan was never a big task. It wasn’t hard to do, it felt as easy as breathing to want to be in the orbit of the bright and optimistic man, and as the song suggests, Tommy suddenly wanted to call him.
“What are you up to, Kinard?” Lucy asks, admittedly a lot drunker than Tommy was. He was by no means drunk, heavily buzzed at most, and he was coherent enough to know what he was doing and there was nothing he wanted more than to call Evan, to hear his voice, to maybe make him laugh.
Or… to talk him into breaking up with his boyfriend.
Tommy raised an eyebrow at her, a coy grin on his face.
“Oh no... I do not like that look,” Melton says to Lucy, but his eyes never left Tommy’s face. Lucy nodded in agreement, both of them studying him with wide eyes.
Trying to shrug nonchalantly Tommy asks, “What look?”
“That one,” Melton huffs, pointing one of his fingers at Tommy. “The one that says you’re about to do something that you’re going to regret when you’re sober.”
Letting out a laugh, which also came a lot easier after tequila, Tommy brought his phone back to his face. “I’ll only regret it if he says no.”
His friends turn to look at each other with panicked expressions and he can’t help it when he laughs again.
“Who’s ‘he’?” Melton asks in a tone that is similar to horror.
Lucy narrows her eyes at him. “Kinard, be straight with us here.”
Tommy snorted and resisted the urge to make the world's easiest gay joke in the world in favor of putting his friends out of their anxious misery. “Evan,” he says simply, not missing the way Lucy’s eyes widened once again and she slapped her hand against the table.
“Buck? As in, in a committed relationship, Evan Buckley?”
Tommy grins again. “Not for long if this call goes the way I want it to.”
Evan had been an enigma in Tommy’s life. As soon as they met, Tommy had adored Evan. How he always had a fun fact, or the way he was the light and center of attention in every room he’s ever walked into. Letting the chance to actually date Evan slip through his fingers would forever be one of Tommy’s biggest regrets, because the second he had, another guy was smart enough to scoop Evan up and make it official before Tommy even knew what was happening.
They had managed to keep things friendly between the two of them, occasionally texting or seeing one another while hanging out with mutual friends and Tommy couldn’t help noticing the boyfriend was never around when Tommy was, and he also couldn’t help wondering if that was on purpose.
God, he hoped it was. Because if Evan didn’t think there was any worry about the two of them meeting then he had no chance. But on the small chance that it was on purpose is what was giving Tommy the courage to actually go through with this.
Maybe, just maybe, Evan knew the two of them would size each other up and Tommy would win.
Tommy heard an unfortunate amount about Evan’s new boyfriend, Adrian, from both Eddie and Howie. He was a polite preppy type that Eddie couldn’t stand because they didn’t have anything in common, and Howie just thought he was boring and was confused by someone as bright and energetic as Evan had decided to go steady with such a dud.
Neither of them liked Adrian very much which worked out really well for Tommy, but apparently Evan was holding on to this, desperate to make it work. Maybe tonight was the night Tommy could get the final thread on that relationship to snap and open Evan’s eyes to what could be a much better relationship.
It was a win-win really if you didn’t factor Adrian into the equation, because he was going to lose the best man that had ever happened to him. Tommy couldn’t really find it in him to feel guilty about that though. He just knew he could see a future between him and Evan that he never really had with any other dates before, and he knows at one point Evan saw that with him as well.
“This is a terrible idea, Tommy. What if he says no?” Melton asks, wringing his hands in front of him.
Tilting his head, Tommy shrugs. “So what? It’s not like I can lose Evan twice, and if it comes down to it, I can blame the tequila.” Wiggling his eyebrows at his friends Tommy pushes himself up from his seat and walks off, ignoring the protests as he makes his way outside.
With a deep breath Tommy clicks Evan’s contact and presses the call button, leaning against the wall and bringing the phone to his ear. He listens with bated breath as the phone rings.
One ring.
Two rings.
Three ri-
“Tommy?”
Tommy grins when the confused voice comes through. “Hey, Evan. What’s up?”
It’s silent for a couple of seconds and rustling could be heard, like maybe Evan was rolling over in bed. “What’s up? Tommy, is everything okay? Are you drunk?”
Laughing softly, he tilts his head up, looking up at the stars above him and scuffing his boots against the gravel lot below him. “No, not drunk. Not exactly anyway. I’m sorry it’s so late, but I’m really happy you answered.”
Silence for a couple more seconds before Evan says, “Tommy, I’m taken.”
Tommy snorts. “Yeah, I know. It’s just a phone call, Evan.” When he doesn’t answer for a while Tommy asks, “Is he with you?”
“No… Adrian is uh… working,” Evan answers hesitantly.
Raising an eyebrow Tommy resists the urge to smirk. “Oh, working? At 11 on a Saturday? What does he do for work?”
“He’s… okay, fine. He’s out with some friends.”
Chuckling a little Tommy wonders if that would be the downfall of this relationship; Adrian deciding to go out with friends.
“He left you home all alone? What a man,” he teases, listening as Evan snorts.
“What is this about, Tommy? I know you didn’t just call me to talk about where Adrian is.”
With a deep breath he decides he really has nothing to lose and decides to go bold. “Just wondering when you’re gonna call it quits with this guy and give me a chance.”
Tommy hears the sharp gasp of surprise, and he can imagine the look on Evan’s face perfectly. Eyes wide and shining, cheeks flushed a soft shade of pink, and mouth parted just slightly. He was gorgeous even in Tommy’s imagination.
“Come on, Ev. You know how good we could be,” Tommy coaxes, a smile evident in his tone.
“It… I can’t, I’m with him,” Evan says, but his voice was a little weak.
“You are,” Tommy agrees. “But you don’t love him. And you won’t.”
“What are you talking about?” he huffs, and the shuffling starts again. Tommy was making him nervous.
“Oh, come on, Evan. I know you. You might not talk to me about him, but Eddie and Howie do. He’s not right for you.”
“You just know that, huh?” Evan huffs, but it doesn’t sound all that angry which is why Tommy keeps going.
“I do,” he hums. “So, when are you gonna stop leading the poor guy on?”
Evan sputters. “What? Leading him on? I like Adrian-”
“Do you?” Tommy asks. “You can be honest with me. How much do you really like this guy?”
He’s quiet for a long time on the other side of the phone. “Every relationship has their ups and downs. I think I really could like him a lot. He’s nice, and he’s supportive.”
Tommy nearly laughs again. “Evan, that is not how you talk about a guy you’re into. Wanna hear how I talk about you?” He doesn’t wait for an answer this time. “I tell people you are the funniest and smartest guy I’ve ever met. That every time we’re in the same room I can barely breathe and when you smile my heart practically stops. I would be so good to you, baby, so good if you would just give me a chance.”
“Tommy-”
“That’s not even talking about how handsome you are. You are stunning. That sweater you wore to Eddie’s football night two weeks ago? I don’t think I’ve ever seen your eyes so blue. I couldn’t even tell you what teams were playing that night, that’s how long I spent looking at you. You are a vision, Evan Buckley, and that’s how I know this guy is a tool. Because he would rather be out with friends than spending every second he could with you.” Like I would.
“...What would you say if I told you I chose that outfit in the hopes it would catch your attention?”
Tommy’s smile widens. “I’d say you need to break up with your boyfriend, Evan. Stringing this on any longer is just wasting time that could be spent together. You and me.”
“I…” Evan hesitates. “I don’t want to hurt him. He really is a nice guy.”
“Not wanting to break his heart is a bad reason to be keeping us apart, baby,” Tommy huffs.
Evan sighs. “What do I even say? Hey, sorry Adrian, I know we’ve been dating for three months but I’m actually really into the guy I told you not to worry about?”
Tommy’s heart soars. “Whatever you have to tell him, Ev. Tell him it’s you and not him. Lie and say you two can still be friends afterwards. Anything to let him know it’s over.”
“You don’t think I’d be friends with him after?” Evan sounds amused.
Grinning, he says, “Baby, when you see how good to you I am, you won’t even remember this guy's name.”
Evan laughs and Tommy feels his heart squeeze in his chest. God, he loved Evan’s laugh. So bright and carefree.
“You know we’d be great together, baby. You can’t even deny it. Go ahead and try, I’ll wait,” Tommy continues, a giant smile on his face. He knew Evan was considering this because if he wasn’t he would have already told Tommy to go to hell and hung up. But here they were. Talking about the possibility of trying again.
“I… I don’t think I can deny it,” Evan admits with a breathless laugh. “Why do you have to sound so convincing when you call me baby?”
Tommy chuckles. “You like that? Baby? I’ll call you that forever if it means you’ll break up with him.”
“I… can I think about it?”
Swallowing hard Tommy nods, trying to ignore the disappointment in his stomach. “Yeah. Yeah of course, Ev. I know this isn’t really my business, and if you decide you want to stay with him, I’ll still be here. We can go back to pretending like we’re not checking each other out across the room or stalking each other's Instagrams.”
Laughing weakly Evan says, “So you noticed. I gotta sleep on it, Tommy. I’ll talk to you later, yeah?”
“I’ll be waiting. Goodnight, beautiful.”
“Goodnight, Tommy.”
The call ends and Tommy slowly lowers his phone to his side, unsure how to feel. On the one hand, he feels like he made a good case, and on the other he wishes Evan would have just agreed and broken up with Adrian right now. But unfortunately, Evan wasn’t the one drinking tequila tonight and he had to think about things logically.
For now, Tommy just had to be patient.
Slowly walking back inside Tommy rejoins Lucy and Melton at their table, avoiding their wide-eyed stares.
When he doesn’t say anything and reaches for his beer again Lucy grabs his arm and shakes him. “Well? What did he say?”
Tommy rolls the cap of his beer in his hand, looking down at the wooden table and tracing the grain with his eyes. “That he would think about it. And that he liked it when I called him baby.”
Melton’s brows furrowed. “Wait, you called him baby? You are down bad, Kinard.”
Snorting a little he nods. “Tell me about it.”
“So, he’s gonna think about it? What do you think he’s gonna choose?” Lucy asks, looking stressed.
Sighing deeply Tommy shrugs. “I don’t know,” he says honestly, because while he wants more than anything for Evan to come running back to him, it was possible he would decide to stick things out with Adrian. The safe option. The nice guy. The boring, polo wearing, accountant type guy who was currently dating the man of Tommy’s dreams.
“Well,” Melton starts, “If he picks anyone but you then he’s a fool, good buddy.”
He shakes his head, brushing off Melton’s attempt to be comforting. “No, he isn’t. He’s brilliant. He always has something interesting to say or some big new idea in that beautiful brain of his. During that cruise ship rescue he told me so many facts about hurricanes and storms, and I already knew a few of them but I pretended like I didn’t so he would keep talking to me.”
Melton looks over at Lucy. “Oh god. This is only going to get worse if they actually get together, isn’t it?”
Lucy nods solemnly. “I’m afraid so, bud. Tommy’s got it bad.”
He couldn’t even deny it if he wanted to. Could only nod along sadly before Melton suggests more shots and what the hell, who’s Tommy to tell him no?
_
The next morning when Tommy doesn’t wake up to a text from Evan he is undoubtedly bummed. Okay, more than bummed. He’s possibly very upset. But, he wants to give it time because he meant it when he said he would be here either way. He would rather have Evan in his life as a sort of friend than chase him off all together.
So, Tommy drinks some water and takes some Ibuprofen to get rid of any lingering hangover feelings and goes for a run.
He works on his car a little.
He does laundry and dishes.
He tries to do anything to keep himself busy, so he wasn’t obsessively checking his phone, jumping every time he hears it buzz only to be disappointed when it was anyone but Evan. There’s a small chance he was currently ignoring both Eddie and Howie because he isn’t sure how much Evan might have told them about what happened last night, and he really doesn’t have it in him to deal with the teasing right now.
To get himself out of the house and hopefully out of his own head, he gets ready to go to the store, leaving his phone on the kitchen counter while he showers and changes. He pointedly ignored it as he grabbed his keys, telling himself he wasn’t going to sit around like a kicked puppy while he waited for a text that might not come.
He barely makes it out of his front door with this newfound confidence when he freezes in place, eyes going wide and his heart thundering in his ears.
There, standing on his front steps and looking at him with an equally startled expression was Evan with his hand raised like he was about to knock, in the same blue sweater that made his eyes look bright cerulean.
He looked amazing.
“I broke up with him,” Evan blurts, shifting anxiously back and forth on his feet. “I hope it’s okay that I came here, I uh, I tried to text you, but you didn’t answer so I just-”
“Evan, of course it’s okay,” Tommy cuts him off in a soothing tone, taking a step closer.
Evan visibly relaxes his shoulders, a soft smile crossing his still nervous face. “O-okay. Good.”
Bringing his hand to Evan’s waist Tommy carefully draws him closer, watching his face the entire time for any signs of discomfort, but Evan only leans into his touch. “You look amazing,” Tommy practically whispers, eyes darting over his face and taking in every detail. It had been a long couple of months since the last time Tommy was able to get this close, and he feels he didn’t appreciate it enough the first time around. This time, he was going to soak in every single detail.
Evan’s cheeks flush, his eyes scrunching as he smiles. “It’s just a sweater,” he says softly, shrugging his shoulders.
“Maybe it is, but you’re still the most handsome man I’ve ever seen. Can I take you out to dinner?” Tommy asks, looking into his impossibly blue eyes.
Evan is nodding before Tommy even finishes his sentence. “Please,” he breathes, eyes darting down to Tommy’s lips and lingering there.
“Can I kiss you?” Tommy asks next, letting his own eyes drop down to Evan’s lips. They were full and pink, slightly parted and just begging for Tommy to kiss them.
Instead of answering, Evan grabs the collar of Tommy’s flannel and pulls him into a kiss that he eagerly returns, tightening his hold on Evan’s waist. Maybe it’s true what they say, distance makes the heart grow fonder, because it feels like the entire world slows down around them and it’s just the two of them in this perfect, happy bubble.
Letting out a happy sigh, Evan spreads his hand against Tommy’s chest, resting right above his heart and making Tommy feel like said heart is going to beat right out of his chest.
Breaking the kiss Tommy rests his forehead against Evan’s, smirking. “Should I pretend to be sad about your ex now? I’m a good shoulder to cry on if you need it.”
Snorting, Evan rolls his eyes playfully. “Don’t be an ass. Adrian really is a nice guy, he's just… he isn’t you.”
Tommy’s heart flutters and his smile softens. “Yeah?”
He nods. “Yeah. It’s gotta be you, Tommy. I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I really, really like you.”
There are butterflies in Tommy’s stomach. He is a grown man, recently celebrated his fortieth birthday, and there are butterflies in his stomach. He was so screwed.
“I really like you too,” he hums. “Like… I never stop thinking about you. My coworkers say I have a “thinking about Evan” face.”
Maybe Tommy should be embarrassed about revealing these things, but he wasn’t. He just wanted Evan to know how ready for this he is, how willing he is to see this through.
Evan smiles, bright and happy. “Really?”
Tommy nods, and holy shit he was whipped already because he would do anything to keep that smile pointed at him. Throw himself off a cliff, rip his own heart out, commit murder, anything to make Evan smile. It was dangerous really, the level of trust he was putting into this man, but it was exhilarating at the same time.
“What are you doing tonight?” Tommy asks, bringing one of his hands up to Evan’s cheek to cradle it.
Evan blinks at him. “Definitely whatever you’re about to ask me to do.”
Tommy chuckles. “Perfect. I don’t want to wait for dinner. I want to take you out.”
“Yes. I want that too,” Evan breathes, leaning his cheek into Tommy’s palm. “I also really want you to kiss me again.”
With a smile Tommy leans in, connecting their lips once again, brushing his thumb over Evan’s cheek and feeling the warm flush on his skin and the roughness of his slight stubble. It was perfect.
Yeah.
Those tequila shots were definitely the best decision Tommy has ever made in his life. He’s gotta remember to thank Melton and Lucy for bringing him out, even if he’s going to be teased relentlessly for being a lovesick fool.
So totally worth it.