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manure has never been as sexy

Summary:

au! ofc, fluff, slight toxicity, love bombing, mutual pining, slightly suggestive, wholesome family, happy family, sukuna is evil, hurt/comfort, COMFORT, mommy/daddy issues gang, perfect family.

after a trip to the country side cabins, there's a horseshow going on, a must attend on your list. meet sukuna as a cowboy and have him teach you how to RIDE.

Notes:

note this is directly copy pasted from my tumblr
https://www.tumblr.com/navsink :)

Chapter Text

The dinner table was full of yummy desserts, wine glasses and most deliciously cinnamon rolls. Our evening dinner was one of celebration, you could see it in everyone's faces, the way their eyes were all wrinkled at the corners and their cheeks full of sweet cinnamon glaze. Everyone was just so happy to celebrate my mom's latest success, an ascension to being on the magazine for women CEO of 2024. As we were close to finishing our meal of the night, my dad finally spoke with a grin in his face. I could see my mom's notorious blush and my sister's little grin of mischief as she darted a cherry at my dad's pudding cup.

"Everyone, attention," my dad attempted to clink his glass of wine with a silver fork, immideatly causing my mom to tug at his elbow whispering a shy 'Don't'.

"ATTENTIOOOON." he yelled this time, a bit louder to compensate for the lack of glass to clink. A placid yet drunk smile formed on his face, whilst mom's was just purely fluster.

"There are no- Hic!- words to describe the proudest husband I have become. I am the husband of the woman CEO of the year, what else should I ask for? To celebrate this, we four will all go to the countryside to relax and rent a cabin, bring your bathing suits ladies and most importantly repelent. I want this special 3 day vacation just to celebrate my incredible wife's achievment." we all clapped at my dad's half drunk speech, the sweet smile lines and crows feet multiplied by the inmense smile he spoke with was the sweetest thing I have seen. We all cheered for this short trip, nothing could make us all happier than a small break.

That same night I grabbed my black totebag and tossed in a couple shorts, underwear and most importantly a one piece bathing suit. Happy as I was, to see my parent's marriage be the standard I should aim for, I tossed in a makeup bag and a hairbrush and I was set. I giggled and looked at my ceiling as I plopped down on the bed. My life has never been better has it?

As excited as I was, sleep and sending an excuse of absence to my university were the first step to take if I wanted to join everyone on the trip. I quickly jotted down a quick excuse and pressed send.

"Have you packed everything? Remember to bring at least a pair of jeans if you want to ride the horses at the ranch." My mom peeked her head out of the doorway and looked at me with a grin.

"Yeah I have, don't worry I'll put one on as we leave."

"You better, you don't want to know the rashes you'll get from those stable horses."

"Yeah yeah, thanks ma"

I nodded and walked towards the door, kissing her cheek goodnight, and a tight yet quick hug.

"I'm proud of you ma"

"I could say the same for you bebe"

A quick peck on the forehead landed on me as I waved at her good night from my hallway. We had always been a close family and honestly, I hope it stays that way.

---

"Bebe are you up already?" my mom's voice chided from the other side of the door as I pulled a pillow to my face. I had a hard time getting any sleep yesterday, I was too excited putting on possible outfits and even a nice set of lingerie. Who knows what could happen at the cabins?

I chuckled thinking of my late night antics and finally sat up, a groggy mess and a bird's nest in my hair rose up as I look for my phone.

"I'm up." I yell to the other side of the door, earning a quick inaudible affirmation.

Upon instinct, my feet pull me out of bed and lead me to the small bathroom next to my bedroom.

Finishing up my morning routine, caking up a couple layers of makeup and finally scooping my boobs to look nice in a fitted cleavage top. I was all set to leave. Let's see, last nights totebag, jeans, they said to bring sunscreen right? yeah. Probs. What else? Right, a hair brush and the swimsuit.

As I finished listing off every possible thing I could need there I started to take a couple of selfies while I waited for my dad's classic holler to meet my family at the living room.

Soon came a "WE'RE LEAVING." trademarked holler from my dad, who pretty much lied as he sat on the barstool next to the kitchen isle drinking cofffee and biscuits.

"Careful with that one Pinocchio, your snoring is worsening as you speak." My mom scoffed as she dragged a luggage in a haste, a drop of sweat threatening to ruin her laminated brows.

As I also enter the living room in a haste, I hunch over as I see how calmly he's sipping coffee like it's nobody's business.

"Living with 3 women has taught me patience, believe me. I have to speed things up or else I'll be the one you women blame when we're late to our check in." He chortled as he lifted his pinkie finger and extended his lips to reach the coffee cup.

A short sigh is escaped by my mom and I as we sit down on the couches, waiting for my sister is going to be eternal. As my dad said, it's good to keep a few tricks to pick up the pace with us. My mouth opens, trying to think of what to say to my sister who's making us all be late.

"LILY, I CALL SHOTGUN" My mom yelled as she pinched my arm, a sign to shut up and let her handle it. I quickly rub my arm with a scoff, trying to discreetly roll my eyes.

As effective as that was, my sister stormed through the halls carrying two totebags and a backpack. A smiled tugged at the corners of my mouth as my Dad, who now waited against the main door, tapped his foot impatiently.

-

"So, where are we going really?" I asked from the backseat,

"To hell bebe." My mom scoffed absentmindedly as she once more won her match of solitaire.

"Seriously, where?" A whine escaped my mouth, like a child's impatience.

"It's a surprsie, oh and connect your spotify, we're getting bored of those hella boring songs your sister has playing." Mom's aloof comment had earned an annoyed protest from my sister. "Don't argue while you're at it."

Lily and I looked at eachother, ma tries to be cool sometimes by using outdated lingo, it's a sad attempt, but an attempt nonetheless.

It was going to be a long trip, so might as well just do as she says and stand Lily for as long as I can. To preface, my sister and I don't typically bicker, as we are just used to ignoring eachother's presence, but sometimes she does gets on my nerves. Who's up to standing a whiny and angsty 14 year old for more than an hour? Not me.

This was a sign to just nap the whole carride out, head peacefuly rested against the window, a nice little nap was just what I needed.

Eventually we had reached the point of the ride where everyone is quiet and the two front passangers are just at it gossiping and talking about life in general. That is my favorite ever part of it.

"Right, she thinks that because I am succesful she can just cling to my name and try to force people into giving her a job with no history of ever moving a finger." My mom's voice casually whispered as they started gossiping about family members. It just happens sometimes.

"Hold that thought Marina, pull up the Maps for this section, the fog ahead is pretty harsh." my dad mumbled back as he leaned forward in his seat while grabbing the steering wheel with white knuckles.

My parents argued quietly with the poor google maps assistant, cautiously trying not to wake us up. As we finally reached to a stop, my dad sighed and took a sip of his trusty leather flask.

"Girls, we're here, get your stuff we're unpacking as they show us our room." My mom reached towards the backseat and grabbed my sister and I's knees shaking them against eachother to wake us up fully.

-

"Two beds?" I sigh. It seems there were no other options unless I prefered to sleep in the car. The cabin was nice, it had A/C and a nice bathroom. It was pretty pintoresque and quaint, just how I like it, to the exception of course, of sharing a bed with my sister. The two white queen beds had a nice matress and were free of any bugs thankfully. Other than that, there wasn't much more to note of this farm cabins we booked.

"Yes Bebe, two beds. We're all gonna die because you have ot sleep next to Lily for two nights, wa, wa." My dad mocked my tone playfully and as I shoot a bored look at him he comes to my side and pinches my ribs.

"Stop that!" I giggled and hugged my dad with a fake annoyed look. It wasn't so bad really, it was just for two nights, nothing could really make it that bad.

We set down our things inside the cabin and started to set up our clothes down for the next day, since the fog had really made the trip a little hard for my dad we decided to wait an hour before we got out. It had already been 5pm since we arrived and as the cabin staff said, we had until 7pm to get our dinner served and until 9pm to use the pool. This place seemed neat. I could just lay on the bed until 7, sleep was never enough for me.

.

"Shh shh, you're gonna wake her up." I heard a couple of mumbling and whistling as I finally awoke from slumber. My family opened the door with less than caution as they turned on the lights and sat down on the free bed.

My groggy eyes had finally answered to the light as I rub them and sit up. A more than perplexed face formed as my stitched brows and pursed lips turn to look at my traitor family.

"You guys didn't wake me up?" I croaked.

"You seemed passed out, so we decided to dine and wait for you to get inside the pool, it's pretty tempered." Lily mentioned stifling a giggle as she crossed her legs with a smirk.

"Keep your enemies close and your family closer." I mumble as I drown my face into the soft cushion pillow. My dad let out an audible chuckle, and soon a cough as my mom elbows him to the gut.

"Don't fret, we have all tomorrow to spend together, we can also go to the pool right now, we have 2 more hours left until they bleach it." My mom soothingly patted my back as she sits down next to me. A small kiss lands on my temple when she pulls me into an embrace.

"Fine, I'll go." My mom cheered and dragged my wrist to the main entrance. Soon followed my sister and my lucidly drunk dad.

-

The pool was fine, really nothing special, according to the cabin staff, there's a bunch of recreational going on tomorrow. There's a horse show, boat tour around the lake, cow milking and finally an opportunity to just ride around the farm state altoghter on a horse.

Being the horsegirl to the core type of girl, I of course tried getting my parents to join me on the horse related ones. And like every functional family we started arguing, my sister wanted the water ones, and I the land ones.

"We're not doing the boat tour, have you heard that one news article of the whole 15 passenger boat that sank to the bottom last week nearby?" My dad slammed his fist against the table as we sat in the farm's restaurant. His stitched brows and red eyes indicated that there was no persuading on this one, his heart and mind were set on not letting anyone on a boat.

"But dad!" My sister whined as she dropped her fork.

"No buts." His face turned to the other side, indignant at my sister's persistence.

"We're also not doing horses, we just ate, what kind of brain process allows you all to think that you're not about to barf on the horse lackey and yourself as you get on the horse? I say no." My mom commanded, putting a muffin on my dad's plate. Two set of wide eyes smiled as the big 1000 calorie blueberry muffin landed and soon crumbled against the hands of an italian dad.

I let out an audible groan as she turned down my activity too, facing my sister with joined mischief we nod to each other with a grin.

"Ma, she's poking me." I whined

"Pa she's the one poking me." Lily cried.

"If she doesn't stop I swear I'll stab her with a fork."

"Keep poking me idiot."

"Ma- Did you just hear that? She called me an idiot." I groaned as I turn to my mom's concerned face, and consecuently my sister does too.

"Pa did you see how she threatened me? She has a fork in her hand." Lily's fake tears were starting to roll, which in turn caused my dad to fret and look at my mom for any hint on what to do. It was working.

Lily and I hid a smirk behind the facade of two annoyed sisters, and soon my parent's strong will dissolved. Lily was about to open her mouth as my mom slammed her hand against the table.

"Fine if you two little insects shut up, we can plan out the day." She whisper yelled at us and finally leaned back into her chair, I could see the vein and even the botox fight against eachother.

"We're not doing the boat, but we are going to watch the cows be milked, then we're going to the pool and we'll watch the horse show, after that we're doing the horse tour around the property and finally we're going fishing. That's today's plan, whoever tries to change it is a dead man." My mom leaned forward and looked at both of us in the eye, how she didnt go crossed eye who knows, but at least my sister and I got what we wanted.

-

We were running a bit late for the horse show, curtsey of Lily as she tried feeding bread to the ducks after being told not to over 4 times by the farmers. We miraculously acquired front row seats, pretty neatly for the four of us, I dusted off the seat and with a grin sat down. This decision will follow up to be a pretty bad one, as I could smell the horse shit the best from the front row seats, wow, so that's why there was so much space down here. I also couldn't see jack shit from here as the picket fence just had to block my view for the most part.

I sighed and slouched over the seat, trying to ignore the petulant smell coming from beautifuly bred horses. As soon as what seemed the second act started, I could see a guy, pretty much my age with a black linnen button up, snug skinny black jeans and a brown metal belt. God was that a sight for sore eyes, swimming in a pool of manure the most handsomest blonde of them all. A dumb smile plastered on my face as I straighten my back and follow like a hungry lion the zebra like prey. As he gets on the white horse and another lackey throws a black cowboy hat at him that he so perfectly catches with his pale big veiny hand. On the topic of hands, my mom's hand picks up my jaw from the floor and turns my face towards her.

"Don't chase, be chased." wise words from my CEO beautiful mama, her slight smile and smooth brows gave me the 'go ahead' to keep on daydreaming.

This guy was out of the ordinary. The white stallion I might add starts to dance and trot so perfectly, like the horse just did it out of a whim. Wisely enough the gorgeous hunk of a horseman also grins and flashes a pearly white to the audience. A collective swooning sigh from the female audience is heard across the bleachers. Man when I tell you I crossed my legs, not out of habit but out of NEED. My whole uterus cried out, especially now that I was caught in ovulation week. I let out a dreamy sigh, once more as this man kept on making his spins and basic tricks for the audience. Tragically, it seemed his showtime was about to conclude, but a man as wise as him knows how to garner and cater for the thirsty souls. As he proceeds to rip out his shirt like some attention starved maniac, revealing a rock hard abdodmen and straight airstrip straight to heaven. God this man had to have a lot of women after him after the shows. I let out a nervous string of laughter as he waved off goodby to the audience.

My mom tossed her hand fan into my hand as my head kept on spinning for this HUNK of a man. A small unappreciative sigh followed as the cute guy left the manure field, as he leaves a black bull enters with another HUNK of a man. Is judgement day here yet? It might just strike me here and now.

This other guy, wearing full white attire and blonde hair seemed to contrast the previous guy, the whole audience went ballistic for him. I would like to be happy imagining my wattpad moment in a threesome with these two. I could swear my body was not taking any more hot guys in my line of sight anymore, who knew countryside boys were so fucking hot? For one I did not fucking know until now.

This guy's ability to just jump the bull and keep on making the bull follow him around was amazing. The whole show I was on the edge of my seat, finally assimilating the petulant manure smell into my nostrils. It was amazing watching the guy just run after the bull, and making a whole skit of almost being stomped by it. Even recalling it now is making my breath shorten. Everyone laughed at his antics, it was like those old movies where no one could speak, and it was just laughs on the other end. God it was an amazing show.

The whole gig went exactly as the first one, rock hard abs, a killer v line, pretty face, and even prettier smiles. There is no way these guys have ZERO girls after them or throwing themselves at them. Is there?

Eye candy is just that, eye candy, no more. I wasn't about to bag some hot country boy, even worse A FUCKING COWBOY?

...could-I?

-

Lunch went amazingly fast as my sister wanted to get on the horse as fast as possible, not out of genuine interest for horses, but wanting to get to the water as fast as possible. I kept on smirking here and there remebering those stupid cowboys that just had to look so perfectly hot. As we finally reached the stables the lackeys were mentioning that we had to wisely choose the horse, and just small talk general. Of course, I had other things on my mind so naturally my two parents just kept on talking killing time.

My eyes though, lazily scanned the barns and looked at three guys in the distance just taking discrete sips of beer as they hauled hay into the cow pen. On a second thought, pretty attractive guys worked here, is this the farm's marketing tactic to get the customers to spend more days and money here? Fuck it's working.

"Bebe," The fact that they don't look the same, they just have nice bodies but fucking attractive faces, for example this guy that I'm looking at ri-"Bebe." Right now has a chiseled face, with small round glasses, also blonde and fuck does he know how to haul a hay b-"Y/N"

"Fuck!" I jolt in place, shooting my head to the direction of the voice.

"Language lady, god. Pick your horse." My mom groaned as she pinched my rib in annoyance, her stride, confident while walking towards a gray medium sized horse.

"Shoot, sorry, right. Uh." I scanned the pen, from a black and white spotted stallion to a shiny auburn horse. "I'll take the brown horse."

The lackey nodded and holded the reigns to his coworker, who also prepared the seat for you. As they finished tying everything up, your uninterested dad gives you a hand to get on the horse.

"Thanks." I murmured.

The ride around the property was gorgeous, as our horses followed a pearly white one ridden by the tour guide I scanned the whole place. It was such a gorgeous greenery that would make anyone want to become a countryside fella. The lush green vines followed by trimmed bushes, the unique butterflies that fluttered around the place, and even better the free range cows that pastured across the fence. It was all such a beautiful sight.