Work Text:
The evening breeze passes through the air, as the sun finds its way back into the sky. Hiding behind the white clouds trying to disappear from man’s sight. But the clouds never allow it to hide peacefully, moving on its own path it gives way to the sun that tries to hide behind them- traitors. As the sun plays the game of hide and seek, a beautiful reddish- orange hue casts upon the sky making it magical as the golden hour sets in. The evening rays of the sun pour into the park filtered through the autumn leaves that hang on the trees.
The park is quite empty for a weekend, maybe because the weather has started to turn cold, erasing the traces of warmth that the summer left behind. But Jungkook thinks he lost his warmth way before the summer began and maybe that is why he doesn’t mind the chilled breeze that raises hairs on his skin. As he sits in the almost empty park watching the sun set with no warmth shielding his body from the cold wind, he realises how he lost the battle. A battle to revive his love- their love. How he failed to bring his husband back to him. The more he thinks, the more depressing the thoughts become. He came out of the house to stop his mind from spiraling into that dark hole, but no matter where he is, it is all he can think about.
The divorce he asked for from his husband.
As they say, holding onto a thread tightly for a long period of time will leave you with nothing but pain and a scar, so letting go of it is the only option to save yourself.
Maybe it's that pain that made him think of divorce. He has been holding onto their relationship for a long time now and it has begun to scar him. Letting it go might at least stop him from hurting any further, so he has finally decided to let go of it.
As if to stop his train of thoughts a ball crashes against his feet. He looks down and sees that a football has made its way to crash against his legs. He bends down to pick it up and sees ahead to find its owner and just as he expected a small boy runs towards him in an attempt to catch the ball.
Jungkook finds himself smiling as the boy comes to a halt in front of him. The boy reminds Jungkook of his childhood, the carefree days where all he had to worry about was which colour dress he needed to wear for the day or at most what game he was going to play that day.
“Uncle, can you please give me the ball?” the boy extends his hand requesting Jungkook to give back his ball.
Jungkook gives back the ball and gently ruffles the boy’s hair, expecting him to go back to playing. But the boy climbs onto the bench and sits next to him.
“Oh my god, Let me sit here for sometime. I ran so fast! I’m tired” the boy let out small pants of breath.
Jungkook softly shakes his head, utterly endeared by the boy’s dramatics. It reminds him of his husband who is in fact even more dramatic than this boy. A silent chuckle passes through his lips remembering the antics his husband does.
“Oh Jungkookie I think I'm going to die and this treadmill will be my cause of death. I can’t die like this baby” his husband said while running in the lowest setting. A smile plasters on his face as he remembers him, a melancholic one.
“Uncle, this looks so cool!! Who is this uncle?” the boy points to the polaroid that decorates the back of his phone case. A photo of Jungkook with his husband taken during the last halloween party.
Jungkook looks at the polaroid, a small smile dancing on his lips as he traces the features of the man beside him in the photograph. “This is my husband” the words sit heavy on his tongue as he says it aloud, because he is not sure for how long he can say that. His Husband.
“Oh, very pretty”
Yeah, very pretty indeed. Jungkook thinks as he nods in agreement.
“Where is your husband? Is he away at his job like my Dad? Is that why you are alone here?” the boy seems to have so many questions for someone who is practically a stranger.
To be honest, Jungkook doesn’t know where Taehyung is. It's been a month since Jungkook asked Taehyung to leave and it's been a week since he last saw his face. The home long lost its warmth and the cold had seeped into his life before he could even realise it. But it's all for his good, at least that’s what he thinks.
“He is at home.” Jungkook resorts , not wanting to confuse the boy with the intricacies behind his words.
The boy hums along, swinging his legs back and forth from where he is seated on the bench.
Jungkook looks at the boy fiddling with the ball in his hand, and he somehow reminds him of Taehyung. Maybe it's the carefree smile on his face or the curious eyes that try to prey into things. Those were the few things he noticed when he met Taehyung for the first time and those were the few things he missed seeing in his husband in recent times. It's painful when you know that a person is losing something that defines them yet you can’t help but watch it from the sidelines, solely because they do not recognize the loss.
“Uncle, why are you crying?” A fragile voice breaks his trance as he notices that a lone tear has escaped his eyes. He quickly wipes it off, trying to dodge the question.
“Are you crying because your husband is not here?” an innocent assumption made by the boy has Jungkook letting out a chuckle. The assumption is correct but not in the way the boy thinks it to be.
“Yeah” he says, accompanied with a small nod.
“Then go back home” the boy says with a shrug, as if solving mankind's greatest problem.
Jungkook wishes it was as easy as the boy had suggested. If only going back home- back to Taehyung, was as easy as he thought, then Jungkook would do it in a heartbeat. But unfortunately it's not.
Going back home - a very painful thought, because what is waiting for him back at home? Definitely not Taehyung. His home has become a space enclosed by four walls with nothing but cold spreading through it. It has become so dark that he no longer feels safe there- safe from his own thoughts. It merely became a room that held so many memories that came to haunt him even in the daylight. So going ‘home’ was no longer a peaceful thought.
“Ah! You fought!” the boy exclaims.
“Huh?” but Jungkook couldn’t immediately break out of his thoughts, not completely understanding the boy’s words.
‘Aish’ the boy turns to face him as he pulls up his leg to sit in a cross-legged position. ”you had a fight with your husband? That's why you are here alone, right?”
“Yeah, you could say that” Jungkook lets out a small smile.
“Amma and Appa also fight but they always kiss after the fight” the boy giggles, recounting the times he caught his parents kissing. “You should kiss your husband, then you will be happy”
“I don’t know, he made me cry. Should I still kiss him?” Even though Jungkook finds this conversation funny, he still answers the boy.
The boy remains silent for a few minutes making him think if he had said anything that was too much for the boy, but before he could change the topic the boy speaks.
“Amma also cried because of appa, but they still kissed.” the boy says with his brows furrowed as he spills his family affairs.
For a moment Jungkook thinks he needs to stop the boy before spills anymore of his family matters, because for one Jungkook is not in a position to comfort the kid and doesn’t want the kid to feel bad.
But a bright smile blooms in his face “Because amma said that no one is perfect and everyone deserves a second chance, especially if it's somebody you love. If they said sorry and if they still love you, you should give them another chance. That's what amma said!” the boy speaks as if each of these words were ingrained in his mind.
The little boy might not know the meaning behind these words but Jungkook feels them. Each word punched into his mind as he took in the boy’s words.
Before he could say something, they heard someone calling out for their kid.
“Hannie!! Hannie!!” and he immediately sees the little boy jump off from the bench and run towards the women. “Amma!!”
He watches the boy run to her and hold her hand before they start walking away. Jungkook sees the two figures disappear out of the park while the words still ring in his mind ‘ everyone deserves a second chance especially if it's somebody you love. ’
He looks down at his phone, the polaroid screaming at him of the beautiful times of his life with Taehyung.
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~ Flashback to 7 years ago~
Jungkook picks up the storage boxes, placing them on top of the counter, he opens it to take out the crockeries packed in there. He takes out the plates and bowls, arranging them in the newly installed cabinets. It’s been a week since their wedding. Taehyung and Jungkook had bought this house to move in after their wedding, they used to live together in Taehyung’s apartment before.
Thinking back to their wedding, it was nothing grand or big but a core memory in Jungkook's life that he will cherish forever. Neither of them was a fan of beaches, instead they were enchanted by the mountains. So, they rented a small villa in the mountains for their wedding. The total number of guests were only 10, the ten being their group of their friends and the wedding officiant. Belonging to the LGBTQ community, weddings of these kinds were not highly appreciated in the society and even though their parents were aware of their sexuality, they weren’t really appreciative of their union. So it was just Taehyung and him with people who loved them in their special moments of their union.
As he picks up the last item from the box, the front door opens followed by a whispered melody floating in the air. The melody is accompanied by a figure, one that Jungkook knows too well to recognize even from the shadows. His lips stretch into a silly smile as he leaves the box on the floor and walks out of the kitchen.
“Tae”
“Hello my Dearest. Here I come bearing the weekly food provision for this household.” Taehyung drops the grocery bags on the floor and does a little princely bow to him.
Jungkook giggles at the dramatics. He lets out a yelp when Taehyung loops arms behind his back and pulls him forward flushing their fronts together. Jungkook’s hands on Taehyung’s shoulder gripping on to his shirt to balance himself.
“Hello dearest husband” Taehyung whispers in his ears as he drops his head on Jungkook’s shoulder, pressing soft kisses over his clothed skin.
Jungkook tightens his arms around his husband’s torso, rubbing his chin over the sides of Taehyung’s cheeks. Taehyung tilts his head, lips fanning over Jungkook’s neck as he soaks in the warmth of his husband.
They stay like that, engulfed in each other’s arms and embraced in each other’s warmth, in the entrance of their kitchen. Until the timer of the oven goes off, starling the both. Taehyung lifts up his head and laughs when Jungkook jumps to the sound of the timer.
“I never knew the oven timer could be a villain, interrupting our sweet time like that” Taehyung says, making Jungkook scoff and shake his head.
“Timer or not, our sweet time will have to come to an end because you are late for office, Mister” Jungkook says with a cheeky grin on his face as he ruffles Taehyung's hair and pulls back from the hug.
“No” Taehyung whines snuggling closer in Jungkook’s hold.
“Let’s just stay like this for the rest of the day? Hm? How about for the rest of our lives?” Taehyung says, leaning closer in the hug.
Jungkook lets out a laugh and pulls back from Taehyung’s hold. “Hmm, I don't know about that. You have a client to meet and I'm pretty sure your client won't appreciate you staying back at home.” Jungkook says, pulling out a frustrated whine out of Taehyung.
“The client can wait” Taehyung mumbles with a pout.
“Sure honey. Your client can wait in jail but mine can’t. I have got people to feed” Jungkook flicks Taehyung’s chin making his pout deeper.
“But feed me first. Your husband of one week is starving from your love. Feed me first and then you can feed your clients” Taehyung says following Jungkook like a puppy as Jungkook goes to set their breakfast on the table.
“You are overdosed on my love so for now I will feed you with this bread” Jungkook says and proceeds to stuff a piece of bread into Taehyung's mouth.
Taehyung frowns cutely before munching on the bread stuffed in his mouth. “Capitalism sucks” Taehyung manages to say with his cheeks stuffed with the bread.
Jungkook turns back to give him a ‘really’ kind of look and shakes his head “Whatever you say, Husband” and sets their breakfast on the table.
“Oh yes, I'm the husband. I'm your husband” Taehyung giddily says as he comes to hug Jungkook from the back.
After their breakfast and a lot of coaxing from Jungkook, Taehyung finally agreed to go to his office.
Later Taehyung dropped off Jungkook in his restaurant and went off to his office and similarly in the evening Taehyung came to pick him up and to say they had a sweet wonderful night would be short of words.
⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆
Thinking back to those days which was filled with nothing but love and happiness makes Jungkook's heart ache with the memories. Memories which he was supposed to reminisce with Taehyung by his side, memories which he was supposed to look back on and feel the rush of love all over again. But instead he is here sitting in an almost deserted park, all by himself with a bitter taste in his heart as he thinks of their happy times.
When did all of it change?
Where did they go wrong?
Where did /he/ go wrong?
Did they bring this upon themself or was it bound to happen, like everyone said?
Love can bring two people together but can it make them stay together forever? Jungkook doesn’t know the answer to it but right now he only knows the answer to one thing, he is losing his husband, the only love of his life and that thought sends him spiralling into all the reasons that made him end up in this situation.
Maybe Taehyung had been distant with him long before Jungkook realised it. The blatant ignorance and avoidance was right there but Jungkook was filling up all those gaps with his efforts and Taehyung’s excuses. It took Jungkook almost a year to notice how distant Taehyung had become with him. Now that he looks back everything makes sense, the changes in Taehyung's priorities and wants are clear as day but he was just blindly looking for the moon.
⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆
~Flashbacks over a year~
Jungkook’s in a hurry. He needs to clock out soon and he is still here checking the seasoning of the chicken as the intern apparently failed the seasoning. He doesn’t understand how one can mess up with seasonings because that is the most basic component for bringing out the flavours of a dish. Though it is an important aspect it is much simpler to do because you just need to do the measurements correctly and add in the spices and boom! it’s done. He looks at his watch and notices that he is thirty minutes late. He sighs and quickly whips the mixture in the bowl as he soaks the meat pieces in it, coating them with the seasoning paste.
“Oh my! you’re still here?” Jin enters the kitchen, almost making Jungkook drop the bowl off his hands.
“Hyung you scared me” Jungkook says as he places the bowl on the counter, covering it with a plastic wrap.
“What are you still doing here?? I thought you wanted to leave early today??” Jin asks.
“Well I want to, but the intern messed up at the last minute so I’m doing the whole batch again” he lets out a sigh.
“Then get going, I can take over from here” Jin says and there is an instant glow on Jungkook’s face. He looks at Jin, holding back his smile “are you sure hyung?” eyes expecting a yes.
“Yeah sure, get going now. I don’t want to be a cockblocker”
“Hyung shut up!” Jungkook whines, acting disgusted but breaking out into laughter the next moment.
“Oh I know for a fact you both fuck like bunnies in heat, I have seen you both since the start. So don’t act like you don’t” Jin chides and laughs at Jungkook who is now pouting as he packs his bag.
“We don’t” Jungkook mumbles as he continues to remove his apron.
“Huh?”
“Tae has been so busy these days he has an important case coming up. He hardly has time for us” Jungkook rants, now the pout turns into a melancholic smile as he stuffs the things into his work bag.
Jin looks at him quite not able to believe what he heard because this is something new. Taehyung was never busy for Jungkook, that’s how it has been for a decade but he doesn’t prey on it much.
“Don’t worry I’m sure he will make up for it” Jin pats the younger’s shoulder trying to cheer him up.
Jungkook flashes him a bright smile and swings his backpack on his shoulder.
“I know. Thank you hyung, you’re the best. I’ll see you tomorrow” he chirps and goes out of the kitchen.
When Jungkook reaches home he quickly puts away his work bag and changes into his home clothes, thankful that he still has a handful of time before Taehyung comes back home. It's their 11th year love anniversary. It's been 11 years since they fell in love with each other and Jungkook can’t help the upward tugs of his lips as he thinks back on their journey of love. They met in college, a typical senior junior meeting that turned into love at first sight, fortunately, for both of them. Despite the contrasting majors, they were attached hip to hip and often found together in the campus. Soon after college they both found stable jobs, Taehyung getting appointed as an assistant counsel in a reputed law firm and Jungkook as the assistant chef in one of the largest hotel chains in the country. And the next thing they knew was them getting married. Despite many concerns from their close ones about the early marriage, Taehyung and Jungkook were headstrong in their decision because as they say ‘your heart knows the one for you’.
Now they have been married for 7 years, these seven years their relationship has gone through all curves of a graph but before they could hit the bottom line one of them would be conscious enough to stop the mess and get them back together because marriage is never 50-50, sometimes its 60-40 and sometimes its 90-10 and throughout these years Taehyung and Jungkook has learned it like the back of their hand.
Jungkook whips up the bowl of chocolate mixture as he walks down the memory lane in his mind. He dips a finger into the bowl, a very unprofessional move and maybe Jin will smack his head if he sees him doing it, and licks his finger to taste the batter only for the rich chocolate flavour to burst in his mouth. The cake batter looks perfect and tastes exactly the way Taehyung loves it to be. He quickly greases the pan and pours in the batter and shoves the cake tin into the oven, turning on the timer for 30 minutes. While the cake bakes, Jungkook quickly whips up a ganache as the frosting and later on when the cake was done he carefully layered them and began to decorate it.
Every year they have this tradition of celebrating their love anniversary exactly when the clock strikes twelve and when their day begins. It might seem silly to others but for them it has always been a very precious moment and they chose to continue their traditions forever, a small midnight celebration of their own. One particular year Taehyung went so far as to plan an entire trip to Paris and they celebrated their anniversary under the glittering lights of the Eiffel tower. He involuntarily smiles at the thought of their Paris memories.
This year since Taehyung has been so busy with his office work, Jungkook decided to keep their celebration simple and at home while he prepared a relaxing night for his husband.
By the time Jungkook finished icing the cake the clock struck 11, which meant anytime now Taehyung would be home. So he quickly set the cake on the table and ran to their bathroom to prepare a relaxing bath. He lit the scented candles and filled the tub with hot water sprinkling over them a few rose petals and some fragrance oil. Once satisfied with how the bath turned out, Jungkook went to change into his pyjamas while taking out a matching pair for Taehyung to change into when he comes home.
Jungkook checks the preparation one more time and settles down on the couch waiting for Taehyung. He decides that when Taehyung comes in he will first let him take a nice bath and then when the clock strikes twelve he will bring the cake to him.
He opens his phone to see if Taehyung has messaged him but he feels a dull ache when he sees the last sent message to his husband being unread in the chat box. Taehyung has been extremely busy and Jungkook can’t help but worry about his well being. He thinks about talking to Taehyung about it today, maybe after the celebration. He locks his phone and turns on the Tv to while away the time.
When the clock ticks close to twelve Taehyung is still not home. Jungkook had tried calling him but all of his calls were unanswered. Jungkook feels a bit disappointed when he sees the clock strike twelve and still no sign of Taehyung. For a moment his mind conjures the thought of Taehyung forgetting about their anniversary but he quickly erases it because Taehyung would never do that right.
Approximately 45 minutes later he hears a car being parked outside their house and it takes him exactly 2 seconds to spring out of the couch and run to the table to pick up the cake, all the anger and disappointment vanishing into thin air as he senses Taehyung at the doorstep.
A wide smile replaces the frown as he walks out of the dining area with a cake in his hand and at that exact moment Taehyung walks in through the main door.
With a phone nestled between his shoulder and the ear, Taehyung walks into the house as he speaks into the receiver.
“Yeah I have given them the documents and everything, they should be able to manage it tomorrow…” Taehyung continues his conversation on the phone as he walks in and removes his shoes.
Taehyung looks up, still on his phone, at Jungkook with a confused look as if asking him ‘what he is doing up at this hour’ and then gives him a little smile and continues to walk into his study room.
Jungkook stands there dumbfounded by what happened and how Taehyung had willfully ignored him and went away with it.
Jungkook drops the cake on the table and strides into Taehyung’s room.
“Tae!” he shouts as he slams the door open. He sees Taehyung's smile drop as he looks at him with his eyebrows raised. He places a hand over the phone’s speaker and says ‘I'm in the middle of an important call. Can we talk later?”
“In the middle of the night?” Jungkook questions him, voice raised as he feels the anger and hurt seep through his voice.
“Yes.” Taehyung says with a stern face and continues his call.
Jungkook’s eyes brim with tears as he watches Taehyung dismiss him. He leaves the door ajar, not caring to close it as he walks out straight to their room and curls himself in their bed as his mind reels back to how excited he was for tonight and how easily Taehyung ignored him. He falls asleep with the weight of these thoughts nestled in his chest.
The next morning when he wakes up he finds Taehyung sleeping beside him. A little ray of joy shines on his heart when he notices that Taehyung had changed into their couple pyjamas before sleeping. Jungkook softly brushes the hair out of Taehyung’s face and silently admires his sun kissed face. Maybe Taehyung was really stuck in an important call last night and he might be having a hard time with the workload. He gently caresses the elder’s cheeks and places a gentle kiss on the soft skin.
‘Happy anniversary Tae’ he whispers and gets out of the bed.
An hour later when Jungkook is setting up the breakfast on the table, Taehyung walks out of the room. Jungkook mentally prepares to sulk for sometime until Taehyung regrets his act.
Taehyung walks to the table and pulls out a chair and before Jungkook could complain about his behaviour Taehyung speaks up.
“I was in a really important call last night and you shouldn’t have barged in like that kook,” Taehyung says as he looks at Jungkook with a disappointed face.
“What? Seriously Taehyung, me barging into your room last night is the problem ?” Jungkook asks not being able to believe that Taehyung really has the audacity to say such things.
“At least you accept that you barged in” Taehyung says with a shrug “what else then?”
“Don’t pull your defence skills on me. Did you really forget it?” Jungkook asks as last night’s hurt and anger resurfaces.
Taehyung looks at him as if he is lost. “what did I forget?”
Jungkook swallows down the lump in his throat “our anniversary” he whispers
“Oh, shit” Taehyung swears as his face morphs with guilt.
“Ah, I have been so caught up with work. I didn’t notice the date. Sorry Kookie” he stands up and walks up to Jungkook and pulls him for a hug “Happy anniversary baby” he says as he presses a kiss on Jungkook’s forehead.
Jungkook looks at Taehyung who gives him a warm smile as they pull back from the hug.
“You missed our midnight celebration,” Jungkook says with a pout.
Taehyung laughs “oh silly. What's with the midnight celebration, are we still kids?” he ruffles Jungkook’s hair and smiles at him ignoring the tears brimming in Jungkook’s eyes, “I’ll book us a fancy dinner tonight we can celebrate like you want”
Taehyung checks the time and picks up his bag “it's getting late I'll text you the time. Bye baby” he says and walks out.
Jungkook stands there with tear stained cheeks as he chokes out a small ‘bye’ before he completely breaks down. He doesn’t understand when their celebrations become silly to Taehyung.
More than the hurt and anger, Jungkook feels lost. Lost, because he doesn’t understand his husband’s behaviour. The Taehyung he knows would never dismiss Jungkook like this nor would he leave the house, not like this, leaving behind a hurt and confused Jungkook. So right now more than anything, Jungkook feels lost.
Throughout the day Jungkook's mind tries to come up with reasons and justifications for the morning incident. It's quite tortuous to have one single thought reeling in your mind for the entire day but Jungkook finds no peace as his mind keeps reasoning his husband’s behaviour.
By the end of the day as Taehyung promised they went on the ‘fancy’ dinner that Taehyung had booked for them. While at the dinner, everything seemed alright and not as if Jungkook was on the verge of a breakdown throughout the day. They had their small conversation before Taehyung’s phone sent out a series of buzz and Taehyung with an apologetic smile, attended his phone.
While Taehyung was on the phone Jungkook took his time to stare at his husband. The mild dark circles under Taehyung's eyes, the pale and dry skin and the cracks of his neck showed how tired and worn out Taehyung was. While his heart was already giving the benefit of doubt to Taehyung, now looking at how overworked Taehyung is his mind concludes that the morning incident was just the side effects of his tiredness and Jungkook thinks he should be a bit more considerate of Taehyung’s situation. So what if they missed their midnight celebration, Jungkook shouldn’t make a big deal out of it. So as the good husband he is, he tries to forget and forgive Taehyung. Because at the end of the day, Jungkook loves Taehyung and Taehyung loves Jungkook, and that's all that matters right?
⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆
Nothing much changed after their date night, Taehyung went back to being busy with his work, and Jungkook…. Well Jungkook is trying his best to be supportive of Taehyung, but he often finds himself failing in moments when Taehyung's silence becomes too loud.
Sometimes the absence and ignorance is too flashy to not be noticed but he still tries to view the situation from Taehyung’s shoes. It's been a few months and the silence just seemed to grow louder and louder. The house once filled with their giggles and whispers is now filled with a deafening void. It’s not that Taehyung is never at home, he does come home but never to Jungkook. He is too busy to be with Jungkook. These past few months Taehyung has seen him occupied with something or the other to an extent that Jungkook finds it difficult to approach Taehyung, but whenever he does the replies are the same- ‘ sorry baby. Got some work’ ‘I have a meeting, got to go’ ‘maybe some other time Jungkook’. Jungkook is too tired of hearing all these excuses on a daily basis. After one point he stopped trying and thought that his husband would maybe notice how Jungkook had taken a step back, but apparently Taehyung was too busy to even notice that. Jungkook then realised that Taehyung not only doesn’t notice his presence but also his absence.
Jungkook misses Taehyung, his husband. Jungkook feels like a teenager yearning for love and affection. Jungkook misses the warm touches and leisure kisses, their nights under the sheets and their days in each other’s arms, he misses the way Taehyung used to talk about anything and everything under the sky, he misses the sweet nothings that his husband used to whisper in his ears. They are no longer the same, Taehyung has changed and it scares him to even think that they are drifting apart… no matter how much he tries to hold them together. He is ready to go behind Taehyung, cross all the lines and follow him, to hold their string of fate together but what scares him is- what if Taehyung never turns back to see Jungkook behind him?
The ‘what ifs’ can be scary and he never wants to think about them but what else can he do? sitting alone in their apartment with no one to vent out his fears to. Taehyung is never here to listen to him. Even if Jungkook wants to talk about it and solve the situation, he can’t because who is he supposed to talk to when Taehyung is not even there to listen to him. Even if he wants to get angry, blame Taehyung for his ignorant behaviour and shout at him, who is he supposed to shout at? The wall?
How is he supposed to tell his husband that he is hurt when the husband is apparently too busy to even spare a few minutes with him?
He knows Taehyung’s work is more demanding than his and it needs more of his attention. Being an associate in a law firm is a big deal and it's the result of years of Taehyung's hard work, so Jungkook truly understands how important Taehyung’s work situation is. But that doesn’t excuse his behaviour. Jungkook also goes to work, he too has a stressful workload at times. For a fact, he spends hour and hours of his day in the kitchen, tired and exhausted to his bones he comes home but he never once used it as an excuse to fail in his role as a husband because the single thought of being able to be with Taehyung made him forget about all his worries and tiredness, so why isn’t it the same for Taehyung? Does Taehyung not feel happy when he sees Jungkook at home after a long day at work?
Or is Taehyung losing his interest in him? The thought alone sends shivers down his spine, making his heart painfully clench. No, that can’t be possible. Taehyung loves him, he says it to himself, chanting it like a mantra trying to soothe his restless heart and trying to make himself believe the thought.
Too deep in his mind Jungkook finds himself staring at the blank screen of the TV until he hears the doorbell ring.
With quite literally a blank mind he goes to open the door not expecting anyone in particular to be behind it. But when he opens the door it’s quite a surprise to see Taehyung on the other side.
“Hey!” Taehyung greets as he walks into the house.
“You are early today,” Jungkook says as he stands near the door, watching Taehyung slide off his shoes.
“Yeah” Taehyung smiles at him and Jungkook could practically feel all his worries dissipate into air. ‘Oh silly Jungkook you were just overthinking, idiot’ he mentally scolds himself for worrying over nothing. He internally giggles as he watches Taehyung walk into the house.
He quickly walks behind Taehyung and engulfs him in a tight hug from the back.
“I missed you” Jungkook whispers, lips fanning over Taehyung’s nape as he gently presses his lips over the warm skin. The familiar scent of his husband fills his nostrils, making him giddy in heart. He slowly presses his lips again and again over Taehyung’s nape and tightens his hold around his husband’s torso pulling his back closer to his chest.
It feels like all his ache is being soothed as the warmth of his husband spreads through his chest, happy and content. Jungkook lets out a sigh and closes his eyes, leaning on Taehyung's back.
But the warmth is short-lived because soon Taehyung is quick to unwrap his arms and pull away to turn and face Jungkook.
“Yeah me too. Anyways I need to go now, have a client to meet” Taehyung gives him a tight lipped smile and slowly slips out of his hold.
“What? But you just came back” Jungkook feels the cold seeping into his skin again.
“Yeah I needed to change my clothes before I meet them” Taehyung says without sparing a glance to Jungkook as he keeps walking to their room.
“Why would you need to change clothes to meet clients? Your formals are fine” Jungkook trails behind Taehyung, his patience running thin.
“We are meeting in a club. Apparently I can't go to a club in formals, you know” Taehyung says nonchalantly, with a lazy smile attached on his lips.
“I don’t understand why you would meet a client in a club,” Jungkook says as he stands at the door with his arms crossed at his chest.
Taehyung stops in his tracks and turns back “what do you mean?” He asks, mirroring Jungkook's stance.
“No. What do you mean? You tell me” Jungkook is almost fuming, he has had enough.
“Tell you what? I'm just going to meet a client. What's your problem kook?”
“My problem? Now, You ask about my problem?” Jungkook steps into the room, each step heavier than the other.
“My problem is your behaviour” Jungkook knows he is borderline shouting right now but honestly he doesn’t care.
“You ignoring and neglecting me is my problem. I have been quiet and understanding about it all this while but I can't anymore.”
Taehyung seems to be taken aback by the sudden outburst but the confusion etched in his face clearly shows that he doesn’t understand what the younger is talking about.
“For once you come home early only to leave again? How is this fair, Tae? Do you even remember that you have me, your husband waiting for you at home? Or did you forget? Was your work so important and interesting that you forgot you have someone waiting for you at home?” Jungkook looks at Taehyung waiting for him to realise what he has done.
Taehyung clicks his tongue and quickly glances at his watch, he is getting late. “Can we do this when I’m back?. I’m running late”
“The heck you’re running late. For god’s sake Taehyung do you even hear yourself or did you even listen to me? Taehyung, what the hell happened to you?. You- you’re no longer home, you longer have time for me, for us. What is keeping you so busy Tae, that you don’t even notice me anymore” Jungkook’s eyes burn but he refuses to cry. He has cried enough, today he needs to talk.
Taehyung pokes the inner side of his cheeks with tongue, he looks up, drawing in a deep breath, controlling his anger and then sighs out, to look at Jungkook. “Well flash news baby, I’m an employed man who’s got work to do. I’m a goddamn associate in that firm and I have got some huge responsibilities to fulfil. I don’t know why it’s so difficult for you to understand.” Taehyung says not realising the weight of his words.
“You say I’m not understanding? Do you really mean that?” Jungkook steps closer to Taehyung.
When Taehyung doesn’t reply Jungkook lets out a teary chuckle “Tae all these months I have been nothing but understanding. And you” Jungkook points a finger at him “ you have done nothing but ignore me in the name of work. You’re not special Tae, even I go to work and I do come back home for you. Why is it difficult for you then? Tae, I have been hurt and crying for the past few months, do you even know that?” He scoffs “you don’t!! because apparently you have been nothing but busy, busy, busy” Jungkook shouts.
“You cried? Why didn’t you say anything-”
“How was I supposed to tell you!! You were never here Taehyung” he screams, months of locked up hurt and frustration bursting through his words.
“Jungkook I was busy with the new case-”
“Here you go again with your busy propaganda. Taehyung we are falling apart! Do you even see that you- when was the last time you kissed me Tae? Even I don’t remember, because it’s been so long since you came home when I was awake! Even on the weekends you are nothing but busy” Jungkook’s chest heaves up and down with how heavy he is breathing.
“I-” Taehyung was cut off by his phone ringing. He picked up the phone, stared at the screen, then at Jungkook with a loud sigh he attends the call, keeping it as short as possible. When he puts down the phone he feels Jungkook’s eyes glaring at him.
“I- I need to go now” Taehyung squirms on his feet, face fallen. “I promise we will talk when I come back. I just have to go now”
Jungkook stares at him with a painful stare “You can’t stay home for one evening, can you?”
“Jungkook the client’s an important one-”
“Important. More Important than me? Than us?” Jungkook knows it’s childish but he can’t believe that Taehyung is trying to leave, again.
“Jungkook what even is that question” Taehyung rubs his palm over his forehead, frustrated at the situation. He really wants to clear out this problem but he is fucking running late for his appointment and missing it would cost their firm so much.
“Jungkook, you know my work requires me to socialise with the clients and it requires my time outside the office. I-“
“But Tae, you have been doing this so-called socialising for all these months!! You have been doing only that!”
“It’s my job, idiot , what else am I supposed to do? Stay at home as your house husband? Jungkook I work for both of us, for us to have a stable future. Why can’t you just understand” Taehyung shouts back, now as he steps forward close to Jungkook.
“How am I supposed to have a future with you when you are absent in the present?” Jungkook voices out his locked away hurt and insecurity, tone wobbling at the end.
“W-what” Taehyung stutters, eyes drowned in hurt and realisation of his husband’s words.
He looks at the ceiling, runs his fingers through his hair and exhales through his parted lips.
“Where exactly are you going with this conversation Jungkook?” his eyes glisten under the room lights, his phone vibrates in his pocket adding to his tension.
“See I’m just busy with my work and if you miss me you could have just told me. I really don’t understand why you are making a scene right now! You make it sound like I never paid any attention to you. It’s just these days-” his words are cut off by his phone vibrating in his pocket. He takes out his phone and sees the notification popping up on his home screen. “Fuck” he mutters under his breath.
“I never knew your work required you to go to clubs every night” Jungkook seethes as he watches Taehyung reply to some texts on his phone.
Taehyung looks up from his phone, face expressionless as he stares at Jungkook with utter disbelief. “I don’t go to the club every night,” he says, punching out each word. “You make it sound like I’m committing a grave mistake while all I do is my-”
“Yes you are! And there is no point in having this conversation if you don’t realise-" Jungkook doesn’t get to finish his words as Taehyung grabs his T-shirt and walks out of the room.
Jungkook strides behind him and watches Taehyung change into the T-shirt in the living room.
With his back facing Jungkook, Taehyung speaks as he pulls the T-shirt through his head “Stop blaming me. I understand that you feel ignored by me but it’s not the truth-”
“Now you don’t get to tell me what I feel is not real” Jungkook cuts him off, raising his voice above Taehyung’s.
“For fucks sake let me speak” Taehyung groans, his frustration grows with each passing second.
“We both need to calm down to solve this. Listen, I promise we will talk about this and sort it out when I’m back. I have to go now, please.” Taehyung says and grabs his keys.
“So meeting your client at the club calms you down” Jungkook says more like a statement than a question.
Taehyung stops on his track and stares back at Jungkook with sheer disbelief “I am going there for work and It’s not an option. Get that into your thick head” the last drops of his patience runs out as he shouts back at Jungkook. He takes long steps towards the door but pauses as Jungkook utters something.
“If you step out, it’s over” Jungkook says in a voice void of emotions as he stares blankly at Taehyung.
“Jungkook” voice stern, he pauses giving a chance to his husband to take back whatever he said.
Jungkook watches with teary eyes as Taehyung pauses at the door. He doesn’t know what made him say that but the look on Taehyung’s face says that it’s too late to take back his words. Everything sounds painful, their entire conversation hurts him. But Taehyung doesn’t seem to understand his feelings. Jungkook feels frustration growing from Taehyung’s silence.
Taehyung seems to catch up on the tears that gather in Jungkook's eyes. He lets out a sigh and slowly walks to his husband.
“Baby” voice now soft and gentle as he tries to calm him. He walks closer to Jungkook with his hands half stretched as he tries to reach out to him.
“Baby please don’t cry. See I’m sorry okay? But let’s talk about it later. I promise I’ll be back soon, baby” his fingertips brush against Jungkook’s elbow, trying to hold him closer.
But Jungkook steps back and says “Stay.”
“Jungkook baby listen-”
“Tae, stay”
“Jungkook please calm down I promise-”
“I don’t want your promises. Just stay home tonight”
Neither of them are shouting but the words weigh more than their decibels, making it difficult for both of them.
“You are out of your mind” Taehyung says, his own heart aches at the sight. They were never like this. Jungkook was never like this. He doesn’t understand what is happening to them but looking at Jungkook and hearing all those words from his husband makes his heart ache.
“Jungkook, I'm sorry, please baby listen to me. I’ll do whatever you say. But let me just go meet the client and come back”
“This is what I said! You. Never. Come. Back. To. Me. These days” Jungkook speaks spitting out each word as if it was waiting to be let out from his tongue.
Taehyung doesn’t respond. He understands that Jungkook is hurt and they really need to talk, but he really doesn’t have the time right now to discuss anything or to even argue with his husband. there’s 50 plus messages from his colleagues asking him to make it fast and on top of that Jungkook is creating a fuss by saying all these things. He sighs and shoves his hands inside his pocket, tired of everything. He did not plan the evening like this. He is torn between going for the meeting and staying back at home and solving whatever this is, but unfortunately he can’t decide. His mind goes haywire with Jungkook's words ringing in his ears and the pressure of all the unread messages.
“I will come back and then we are having this conversation, please. I'm leaving now” he doesn't give Jungkook a chance to respond as he quickly slides into his shoes and walks out of the door.
Taehyung disappears behind the doors, walking out as he wished. And Jungkook stands there dumbfounded, blankly staring at the now closed door. Once again left alone to his thoughts stuck in between the cold walls.
As the numbness and the heaviness of Taehyung's action settles on him, his tears flow out uncontrollably. He cries and cries until he no longer can.
He knew saying it was over was crossing the line but he never expected Taehyung to go after he said those things. So is it really over now? Is Taehyung fine with everything being over now?
It feels like all of his doubts and insecurities have gained a positive answer. It feels like his world crashed before his eyes.
With a heavy heart and numb mind he lets his feet guide him as he packs his bag and leaves their home. He hails a cab and reaches Jin's house. His hyung lets him in without a word but Jungkook knows that his red eyes and tear stained cheeks didn’t go unnoticed.
⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆
Taehyung rushed to the club after everything that happened back at home. He left their home with an aching heart and a disturbed mind. The sight of Jungkook screaming and crying keeps replaying in his head haunting his heart on his way to the club. Right now all he wants to do is go back home and console the younger, but for that he needs to get his work done. so he heads into the club with a plan to not stay there for more than an hour because he needs to go back home, for Jungkook would be waiting for him.
When he enters the room he is hit with the blazing sound of a rock song that is being played in the bar. He squints his eyes and looks around to catch the familiar face of his best friend and colleague Jimin seated in one of the corner tables. Jimin seems to be engrossed in a conversation with a short black haired man whom Taehyung recognises to be their client. He walks to their table and sees a few more of his colleagues and then his senior who is seated next to Jimin. His senior seems to recognise him first in the crowd as he hears a cheerful greeting on nearing the table.
“Taehyung, my man. Finally you’re here. Come on, join us buddy!!” The old man seems to be too cheerful for the night.
With not a single drop of enthusiasm he joins the table.
He tries to take part in their conversation but everytime he tries to speak all he can think of is Jungkook crying and screaming at him. After a few minutes he gives up and silently stays back in his seat. For a room full of blaring noises his mind is concerningly empty. He stares at the glass table in front of him with no thoughts and a mind pretty much empty, for other than the sight of his husband breaking down. He frustratedly runs his hand through his hair and picks up his glass of soda.
He doesn’t drink tonight, mindful of the situation back at home. Jungkook is waiting for him and they need to talk and for that Taehyung needs to be sober. He mindfully sticks to his glass of soda as he pretends to be attentive of the conversation.
From the corner of his eyes he could see Jimin's concerned glances from time to time. He knows that his best friend has probably figured out that something is wrong with him. For a long time he tries to avoid meeting Jimin's eyes because he is in no mood to explain himself. But the constant stare soon turns into glares that Taehyung finds hard to avoid.
He finally gives up and looks at Jimin who immediately gestures to him to move towards the restroom.
Taehyung lets out a tired sigh and excuses himself from the table for a few minutes. He stands up and walks towards the restroom and he could see his best friend doing the same.
Once they are in the confines of the bathroom Jimin speaks.
“Hey is everything okay? You look sick " Jimin's worried eyes glaze over his face.
Taehyung shakes his head, mind too numb to form words.
“Hey hey, what happened?” Jimin grabs his shoulder trying to support him.
“Everything is messed up and I- I don’t know-” Taehyung doesn’t find the strength in him to complete the sentence. The words hang in the air leaving too much to Jimin’s interpretation.
“It’s okay, calm down. I’ll call Jungkook to pick you-”
“No” Taehyung is quick to object to the idea.
Jimin doesn’t say anything after that he gives Taehyung the space to collect his thoughts.
Few seconds later, Taehyung's eyes are all over the white walls of the restroom before they finally settle on Jimin. He heaves out a breath “I think I fucked up. He-he said it’s over if I step out and I- I stepped out” Taehyung says as if he is talking to himself.
Jimin gasps at the words.
“I- I need to leave. He is waiting. I need to go” now he looks at Jimin.
Jimin nods his head “I’ll take care of this, you go” he says assuring him.
Taehyung rushes out of the bar, and doesn't bother to drop by their table before leaving.
⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆
When Taehyung reached home he was welcomed by nothing but silence. Not the type of silence that lets you live in peace but the one that haunts you, the one that echoes in an empty room. “Jungkook, Jungkook…” Taehyung calls out desperation evident in his voice.
His mind comes up with the thought of Jungkook leaving him, but he pushes aside those thoughts and runs into every room in the hopes of finding Jungkook. Every time he enters a room he hopes for Jungkook to be in there but all those hopes are shattered when he realises that the entire house is empty. This time when Taehyung was late, Jungkook did not wait for him.
He drops himself down on the floor in the middle of the living room with tears streaming down his face- in fear. The fear of Jungkook leaving him forever seeps into him as he sits there on the cold tiles.
He frantically picks up his phone and dials it to Jungkook. The first call ends in the voice mail, the second call ends the same way, the third and fourth call gets declined and the next time he tries the phone remains switched off. With every passing ring a fresh tear rolls out of his eyes and when he no longer can contact his husband he breaks out into an ugly sob.
The guilt and regret of his actions weigh him down as he continues to cry. The desperation to reach out to his husband grows like a wildfire. He wants to make sure Jungkook is safe and he wants to apologise and bring him back home.
He roughly rubs his palm over his face, wiping off the tears. He picks up his phone and goes through his contacts trying to find someone who could help him. Then he stumbles upon Jin's contact and without wasting a minute he dials to him. Jin is Jungkook's best friend so he must know about his husband’s whereabouts.
But to his luck, Jin doesn’t answer his call either. The fear and anxiety doesn’t let him think properly, his mind keeps chanting to find Jungkook and get him back home.
He quickly gets up from the floor, grabs his car keys and makes his way to Jin’s house. With hesitant steps he reaches for the doorbell. He doesn’t expect anything as he stands in front of the door. Mind almost numb with the recurring thoughts and fear.
⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆
He doesn’t know how long he stands there until the door opens.
“Taehyung” Jin breathes, his expression says he is not even a bit surprised by his sudden visit. “What even happened?” Jin hisses, as he quickly takes a look inside the house.
“I- do you know where Jungkook is? Hyung he is not at home. I'm scared he-” Taehyung begins to speak frantically but is immediately cut off by Jin.
“He is safe, don't worry.” Jin says.
Taehyung’s face falls and his eyes well up in relief that his husband is safe.
“Hyung, is he here? I need to see him,” Taehyung pleads, eyes roaming beyond Jin, trying to sneak a glance of his husband.
“Taehyung” Jin sighs, shaking his head.
“Hyung please” Taehyung almost cries, pleading to let him see Jungkook.
“Taehyung-ah I don't know if he wants to see you right now”
“Please hyung let me see him” the desperation grows in him knowing Jungkook is just within his reach.
Jin sighs, rubbing his palm over his face. He is conflicted, he doesn't know if letting Taehyung meet Jungkook would be good or not. But looking at Taehyung his heart hurts for the couple.
“Fine I’ll let you in, but if he says no you need leave Tae. okay?” Jin asks.
“Yes hyung”
Jin opens the door wide to let Taehyung in. when Taehyung enters he holds him by his shoulders and makes him pause on his steps “Taehyung-ah i don't know what the matter is but both of you don’t look well I…. just remember to talk to each other, calmly. Because words once said cannot be taken back. Okay?”
Taehyung nods, but he thinks he is too late for that because he has said and done so much that cannot be reversed.
“I trust you both to not fuck up. Take care” Jin says and moves out of Taehyung’s way.
Once Jin moved away, Taehyung went inside and stood before the half closed bedroom door. He could hear the shuffling or ruffling? of sheets from inside, Taehyung holds on to the knob and pushes it to open the door. He watches Jungkook, who was arranging the bed, still in his movement. Their eyes lock and Taehyung stands there without moving an inch forward.
The space between them is filled with the sound of their breaths, nothing more and nothing less. Jungkook’s unwavering gaze makes Taehyung feel small and guilty. He tries to speak up but every thought gets stuck in his throat. His eyes well up, not being able to bear the silence. He takes a deep breath and takes one step forward into the room before Jungkook stops him.
“Don’t” Jungkook doesn’t shout, rather he says it very calmly which sends shivers down Taehyung’s spine.
His throat bobs and eyes burn with unshed tears. Taehyung stands there eyes looking at Jungkook, pleading him to let him in.
“What do you want Taehyung?” his voice was distant and void of emotions, as if he was talking to a stranger. It was Taehyung, not tae nor baby. Just Taehyung.
Taehyung can’t imagine how much he had hurt his husband for him to sound like that.
‘What does he want?’ He wants Jungkook to come back home with him. He wants to beg for Jungkook's forgiveness and let him know how much he loves him. He wants to take back every hurtful word he said and he wants to undo his hurtful action. He wants to go back in time and make everything right. He wants so many things but right now he wants another chance to make up with his husband. He looks at Jungkook with tears rolling down his cheeks. He also watches how Jungkook averts his gaze and ball his fist at the sight.
“Baby-” Jungkook’s sharp gaze cut him off.
“Don't,” Jungkook says with irritation.
“Baby please” Taehyung pleads and takes another step forward “please let's go back home. We can talk it out i promise-”
“If I hear one more promise from your mouth I swear to god. Don’t.” Jungkook says loud enough to make Taehyung step back.
“You want to talk. Now? What did you do when I said I wanted to talk? When I begged you to stay. What. did. You. do?” Jungkook yells at him as he walks towards Taehyung. He looks at his eyes and Taehyung feels cold shivers run down his spine. Taehyung couldn’t reply, because what could he say, that he left? That he ignored him and his pleas? He doesn’t say anything but stares at his husband.
Jungkook scoffs and clicks his tongue annoyed at his silence. “Fine let me remind you” he rests his weight in his heels and crosses his arms at his chest. “You said you were busy. Just busy. All the freaking time you were busy.” says without a hint of anger.
It scares Taehyung to listen to Jungkook speak like that. He had hoped for him to shout and scream at him like before but the sudden calmness freaks him out.
“First of all, why are you here?”
“Baby-”
“Weren’t you supposed to be attending a meeting the club? You are a busy person. Why are you here? Or has the visit to the club calmed you down that you are ready to talk now?” Jungkook asks in a mocking tone. “Too bad I don’t want to talk now” he shakes his head.
“I know you’re angry and I understand but please let's go home. I will do anything to make up to it.” Taehyung pleads with tears.
“No. I said it's over if you leave and you still went. So it's over Taehyung.” Jungkook says quietly.
Taehyung’s eyes widen and he frantically shakes his head “no, no, no. no nothing is over. Jungkook don’t say that. If you are angry, shout at me, scold me or even hit me but don't say that we’re over.” horrified by Jungkook's words, Taehyung desperately denies it.
“I don’t want to be angry at you. You are someone I love with my entire being, I don't want to hate you. I don’t want to feel bitter when I think about you. All these months I tried to understand things from your perspective and I neglected my own feelings. I came up with excuses for your actions and I ignored my own hurt. And look where it brought us. Over time you changed, your thoughts and priorities changed and I no longer know you Tae. I'm scared to become a stranger to you while we are married. If you didn’t know, let me tell you, you’re my entire life Taehyung but I'm afraid I'm not yours anymore.” a single tear rolls down his eyes.
Taehyung stands there staring at Jungkook while holding his breath afraid to hear what comes next.
“So before either of us become a bad person in our story, let's end it. I can't bear the thought of hating you. So let's just end this Tae.”
“Jungkook” Taehyung sobs, hands desperately reaching out to hold Jungkook.
“Let's divorce, Taehyung.” Jungkook's voice echoed in the walls along with Taehyung's cry.
⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆
~End of flashbacks~
The cold wind reels him back from his thoughts. He looks around and finds the park empty and cold, long gone are the mother and son duo and now he is left all alone on the bench. The sun has set, letting the dark clouds take over the sky for the night.
Jungkook looks down at the polaroid attached to his phone case. He traces his finger over the pictures and unknowingly his lips twitch into a small smile. No matter how messy it got towards the end, Taehyung is still Jungkook’s best memory.
Right now, Jungkook is scared. From the day he asked for the divorce Taehyung had visibly changed. His husband started putting in efforts to show Jungkook that he has changed. But Jungkook doubts that once he falls for these actions then Taehyung would stop all this act and go back to being ignorant and if something like that happens again, Jungkook is sure he wouldn’t be able to survive that.
But everytime Jungkook brings up the divorce Taehyung refuses it and sometimes it even ends up in an argument. In one such argument Jungkook had mindlessly spurt out a ‘I hate you’ at Taehyung and he remembers the shattered eyes that had stared at him. Jungkook didn’t mean a single letter in it but he was desperately trying to get his point across to Taehyung and Taehyung was being stubborn, so he threw his words carelessly. He feels guilty about it to this minute but there was no way to take back his words.
After months of fighting, that night Taehyung agreed for the divorce. After Jungkook had uttered those sore words, there was a throbbing silence which was broken by Taehyung. With slumped shoulders and teary eyes, Taehyung said “Okay. if that’s what you want, let’s divorce” he sounded bruised and defeated. Jungkook watched Taehyung walk to the door, pause there for a moment “Sorry. I need some space. Whenever you want it let me know, I'll sign the papers” he said with a smile that did a terrible job at convincing that it was genuine. Jungkook remembers the tears that stained Taehyung’s cheeks as he walked out of their home.
Taehyung hasn't returned home for a week now and Jungkook never tried to reach out to him. When Taehyung agreed for the divorce it suddenly became too real for Jungkook. Something which was merely an idea suddenly took a form and became real. And Jungkook didn’t like how it felt. The entire week Jungkook has been pondering over this thought and how it didn’t sit right with him. The thought that after the divorce they are no longer bound to each other makes his stomach sink with a sick feeling. He is conflicted about everything he stubbornly wanted. He was the one who asked for the divorce. He was the one who fought with his husband, trying to make the other agree to it. But now that he gets what he wanted, he feels conflicted. All of a sudden he cannot digest the idea of being separated forever.
Because even if they fought every night, did things that hurt each other he cannot imagine a life where he doesn’t wake up to the puffy morning face of his husband, where he doesn’t hear the baritone voice echoing in the walls or where he doesn’t get to love Taehyung.
When realisation dawns upon him, the idea of divorce no longer serves him in reality. When he thinks he really didn’t want the divorce he rather wants Taehyung and his love. But after everything that went down he was afraid to accept the love and reconcile with him. It was the fear of not being loved that pushed him into the idea of divorce.
In a flash, the boy’s words recur in his mind ‘ everyone deserves a second chance especially if it's somebody you love. ’ and Taehyung- his best friend, his partner in crime, the love of his life, definitely deserves a second chance. They both deserve another chance to redeem their love.
With tears streaming down his face, Jungkook walks out of the park. He wants to reach out to Taehyung and tell him that all he wants is him and only him.
⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆
With heavy pants escaping his lips he arrives home only to find Taehyung sitting in the front steps. He sits there with furrowed brows as he frustratedly presses his phone, he looks worried from what Jungkook can see.
“Tae” Jungkook speaks in between his breaths.
Taehyung immediately abandons his phone and looks at Jungkook.
“Oh my god. Jungkook” he breathes. Walking up to him hurriedly.
“Where did you go? Why didn’t you pick up the phone? Are you alright?” Taehyung bombards him with questions as he scans him from top to bottom.
“I’m fine” Jungkook looks at his phone and sighs when he finds the battery dead. “My phone ran out of charge, I didn't notice.”
“Oh” Taehyung says with relief.
“You were waiting for me?”
Taehyung gulps “yeah I came an hour ago. To see you” he looks at Jungkook in his eyes. “But the door was locked so I tried calling but your phone was switched off. I decided to wait till you come back but then I got worried and I was about to call Jin hyung. But you came”
“I just went for a walk,” Jungkook says.
“Okay. sorry I got worried-”
“Taehyung, breathe” Jungkook says, slowly reaching out to hold Taehyung's hand. Taehyung visibly relaxes at the touch and lets out the breath he had been holding.
“Lets go inside” Jungkook says with a tight lipped smile.
To Taehyung's surprise, Jungkook doesn’t let go of his hand. He continues to hold it as they walk to the door, holds it as he opens the door and lets them in. he doesn’t let go of it until they reach the dining table and pulls out a chair for him.
Jungkook walks into the kitchen and brings them a glass of water and passes it to Taehyung as pulls out a chair and sits next to him.
Taehyung takes a few sips from the glass and places it back on the table. He turns to his side and finds Jungkook's gaze on him. He gets flustered by the unwavering attention.
“Uh, I need to tell you something,” Taehyung says.
Jungkook looks down at his lap then at Taehyung “I also need to tell you something” he fidgets in his seat. “Can I go first?” he asks
Taehyung nods with apprehension.
Jungkook takes a deep breath and fully turns to face Taehyung. “Tae” his throat tightens as tears clog his eyes. He gently reaches out to hold Taehyung’s hand but pauses and looks at him, asking for his permission. When Taehyung gently pulls his hand to his and lets him hold it, the first tear rolls down his cheek. He closes his eyes and lets out a shuddered breath. He opens his eyes and tightens his hold as he speaks “Tae, I know I said so many things and hurt you. I was hurt by your action and I was scared of giving us another chance. I am still scared, honestly. But I'm also scared of never seeing you again. I'm also scared of not being able to hear from you again, I’m scared of not being able to hold your hand like this again and above all I'm scared of not being able to tell you that I love you, again.”
He watches Taehyung sob as he speaks. He slowly brings up his other hand and cups his cheeks, as he wipes off the tears with his thumb.
“I was really hurt but that isn’t an excuse for all the hurtful words I threw at you. I’m sorry” he looks at his husband in his eyes and says “i don’t hate you baby. I'm sorry I said that. I could never hate you. I love you Tae. All I have for you is just love." Jungkook cries out at the end. He leans forwards and Taehyung cups his face as they lean against each other’s forehead. They cry their heart’s out as they keep holding each other.
Taehyung whimpers as he pulls back and gets up from his chair and kneels before Jungkook. Holding their hands together on Jungkook’s lap, he speaks in between his cries. “No baby you have nothing to be sorry about. It was all me. It was my fault. I hurt you so much. I’m really sorry Kookie. I’m so sorry. Please forgive me. I promise to never ignore and hurt you like that ever again. And I promise to never break my promises. Please baby.” he cries.
“When I got the promotion, I got carried away. I lost control of my work life balance and went overboard. I shouldn’t have done that. At that time I thought I was doing it all for us. I thought I was securing our future but that day when you said you couldn’t imagine a future with me because I'm absent from your present, I felt it. I regretted how ignorant I had become and how unimportant I made you feel. I'm so so sorry baby. I never wanted you to feel like that, I'm sorry. Please believe me I didn't do it purposefully. Please don’t leave me. I know I said I will sign the papers but honestly I can’t Jungkook. I can’t” he cries resting his head on the other’s knee. “Please don’t leave me. You don’t have to forgive me now but please don’t leave. I can’t live without you. Please” he mumbles in between his sobs as he buries his face in Jungkook's knee.
“Taehyung” Jungkook chokes out and joins his husband on the floor. It hurts to watch Taehyung crying on his knees begging for his forgiveness. “Baby look at me” he says and gently cups his face. “It’s okay. I forgave you long ago baby. I was just scared of everything happening again. I’m sorry, please don’t cry. Taehyung when you agreed for the divorce I had my reality check and that is I cannot imagine a life without you. We can fight, argue but in the end all I need is you. Nobody is perfect but we can learn from our mistakes and try not to hurt each other again.” he says and Taehyung nods almost instantly.
Jungkook sniffles and wipes off his tears. He looks at Taehyung and asks “shall we try again, baby?” with a bright smile adorning his face.
Taehyung looks at him with a teary smile and says “Yes baby. Let's try again.”
Both of them adorn the biggest smile of the year and their eyes shine as they look at each other. Jungkook leans forward, holding Taehyung’s cheeks as he caresses his lower lip with his thumb. He gazes at those red eyes that look alive after so many months, he could feel Taehyung leaning into his touch as his eyes flutter. Jungkook moves closer, his lip hovering over Taehyung’s as he gazes over his husband’s eyes.
Taehyung might have hurt him and made him cry but Taehyung is also the person with whom Jungkook’s heart rests. Taehyung is also the person who makes silly jokes and funny faces just to make him smile. Taehyung is also the one who listens to his rant at the end of the day. Taehyung is also the one who embraces him in his bear hug, the one who goofs around and cooks for him on the weekends. Sure, Jungkook has cried because of him but he has also smiled, laughed, giggled and beamed in happiness because of Taehyung.
He closes the distance between them, connecting their lips together. Their first kiss after so many months. It feels surreal to both of them, neither of them move their lips instead savouring the stillness of the moment, they press harder into each other. The warmth returns and replaces the coldness. Nothing feels new but everything in the touch feels familiar, comforting and safe. Taehyung slightly parts his mouth and captures the other lip, sucking it as he places a kiss. When they pull back their eyes shine with nothing but happiness and love.
“I love you Kookie,” Taehyung whispers against Jungkook’s lips.
“I love you Taehyung” Jungkook replies as he pulls Taehyung for another kiss.
In their ride called life there might be some bumps and speed breakers but as long as Taehyung and Jungkook love and hold each other as they cross every obstacle they are sure to reach their destination happily, together. After all even if they are each other’s pain but they are oh so divine.