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angstober day 1: again
Yuta stumbles on his way up the stairs, heart threatening to leap out of his chest with how hard it beats. Nausea and an overwhelming sense of dread sit heavy in his stomach. He reaches the door that leads to the roof and rips it open with a clang. A few more hurried steps and he spots him.
Hinata's sitting atop the fence that surrounds the roof, looking all too comfortable despite how close he is to falling. His hair whips in the wind as Yuta approaches. A familiar tune comes from his lips—it's a lullaby their mother used to sing them when they were younger. It doesn't comfort Yuta in the slightest.
"Aniki!" Yuta shouts.
Hinata stops his tune and smiles, but it's all wrong. "Hey, Yuta-kun. Back again, huh?"
Yuta's not sure what he means, but he is sure that this isn't how this is supposed to go. Something's terribly wrong.
"Get down from there, Aniki! You're going to hurt yourself!"
Hinata chuckles, voice unnaturally high. "When have you ever cared about me hurting myself? Not once since we were born. As long as you weren't the one dealing with the hard stuff, you didn't care. You just let me stand in front of you and take the brunt force of all the pain, while you remained uninjured and oblivious. Isn't that right, my dear Yu-ta-kun~?"
Yuta's eyes widen and well with tears. This—this isn't Hinata. What's going on?
Hinata leans forward. "What, cat got your tongue? Or is that you know I'm speaking the truth? Either way, I'd say it's about time to cut this conversation short."
That spurs Yuta into action. "Wait, don't—!"
He dashes to close the distance between them, sneakers squeaking against the tiles, but it's too late. Hinata's already tilting backwards, arms outstretched as if he's an angel taking flight. The world seems to slow down.
"You never wanted to stop me, Yuta-kun. You wanted this," Hinata says, and then he's plummeting. Yuta's hands grasp empty air.
A horrible thud rings out from the other side of the fence, far down below. Yuta drops to the ground, head in his hands. He screams, and screams, and screams, and—
"Yuta-kun!"
A hand is on him, shaking him awake.
What...?
Yuta barely registers the ceiling above him before he's being embraced. Orange strands of hair lay limp against his cheek. When he inhales, he recognizes the familiar sweet scent.
"Aniki..." he sniffles, and then he's returning the hug so hard he shakes.
Hinata pets Yuta's hair while he cries, murmuring words of comfort and encouragement. Yuta doesn't deserve them.
"Was it another nightmare, Yuta-kun?" Hinata asks once Yuta's calmed down. He pulls back from the hug to wipe at Yuta's cheeks with his sleeve. "It's okay. Whatever happened, it wasn't real."
It could've been, Yuta thinks. That could've happened if I'd just been a little later, or if you were less forgiving...
Out loud he says, "I was on the roof again. Aniki, you were..."
"I'm right here, Yuta-kun," Hinata cuts him off. "I'm alive."
And he is. Yuta can feel his pulse when he presses a hand against his wrist, can see the way his chest rises and falls. He's not wearing that twisted smile from Yuta's dream, either, or telling Yuta he wanted him to die. And he's not plummeting to the ground.
Yuta's racing heart finally slows to a normal thump, thump, thump. He rests his head against his brother's chest and hears that same tempo mirrored.
The nightmares will probably still continue, but at least for now, he just breathes.