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It didn’t take long for Kurt to realize that Blaine was feeling insecure about himself again. It started out small with a simple “Do I look okay?” whenever they would be getting ready to go on a date or in the mornings before they both headed off to their separate schools. Of course, Kurt quickly put to rest any ideas Blaine may have had about not looking just right right away, but Kurt knew that sometimes it wasn’t enough for him to say that he thought Blaine was perfect.
“You have to say that. You’re my husband,” was Blaine’s argument whenever Kurt said that he thought Blaine is incredibly gorgeous.
“I’m not just saying it,” Kurt would argue back.
Blaine of course would smile at Kurt and kiss him chastely before heading out the door.
It went like this for a while, but then Blaine started to ask if something else would look better.
“Maybe I shouldn’t gel.”
“Maybe I should change my hair color.”
“I need to lose weight.”
Kurt would always try his best to dispel those thoughts as well by saying things like “the gel is up to you, honey” and “I love your black hair” and “You look perfectly fine to me.” Blaine would accept the compliments with an eye roll but a smile and went on with life as if he wasn’t feeling insecure at all.
After that, though, Blaine would start to pick on things about himself. He would list off the things about himself that he disliked, even going so far as to say he hated them.
“I hate that I’m short.”
“I hate my laugh.”
“I hate that I make weird faces when I sing.”
“I hate that I can’t get that one dance move as quickly as everyone else.”
By then, Kurt had had enough of Blaine hating on himself. He listened to Blaine’s latest rant about how he wasn’t getting the dance move, and then calmly asked Blaine to sit down, take a deep breath, and just listen.
“Blaine. What’s going on? And don’t tell me it’s just about a dance move or something, because you’ve been beating yourself up for weeks now.”
Blaine stayed silent for a moment, his eyes locked onto the table in front of him. When he finally looks up at Kurt, he has tears in his eyes, and suddenly the past several weeks of insecurities came pouring out of Blaine.
“I just feel like I’m not good enough for you or for NYU or for Broadway or for New York. I’ve gained weight. Everyone comments on how much hair gel I use. They laugh when I squint whenever I sing. Someone made a comment about how I couldn’t reach the papers on the top shelf of the cabinet because I’m short. And this past week, I haven’t been able to nail this one dance move and suddenly I’m ‘holding everyone back’ because I want to get it right.” Blaine sighed in relief once he finished telling Kurt what had been going on. It felt like a huge weight had been lifted off his shoulders finally.
“Oh honey,” Kurt said, reaching forward to brush the tear that had managed to escape Blaine’s eyes unnoticed off of Blaine’s cheek. “You are good enough. You’re more than good enough. You’re perfectly amazing just the way you are. I think your slicked back hair makes you look sophisticated. The only part about it that I don’t like is I can’t freely run my fingers through it, but that’s it. I think you look adorable when you get squinty when you sing. I also know that means you’re passionate about what you’re singing. So what if you’re short and can’t reach the top shelf. I’ve been doing it for Rachel for years. I’m certainly not going to judge you about your height. Plus I think you’re the perfect height for when we’re cuddling. We line up just right and I like that. Your laugh is the cutest thing I’ve ever heard apart from a baby cooing. If the rest of your class hasn’t realized that the extra practice is making them better, then they can just get over it. When it comes time to present this, I’m sure you’ll be the best one out there because you’ve worked so hard. And the weight is not an issue either. You’re getting older and your metabolism is changing. I know you think and act like a child or a puppy, but you’re an adult now. It happens to all of us. You’ve taken up boxing again, and I think that’s wonderful, but only do it if you really want to. Don’t change because you think I want you to change because I love you exactly the way you are.”
Blaine stood up and walked around the table to embrace Kurt tightly. “Thank you,” he whispered into Kurt’s ear. “I really needed to hear it.”
Kurt squeezed Blaine back, and then pulled away from the hug. “Get me your phone.”
Blaine handed Kurt his cell phone and watched as Kurt tapped the screen a few times.
“Here you go,” Kurt said moments later as he handed the phone back to Blaine.
Blaine looked at the screen and saw an new playlist titled “Kurt thinks I’m perfect.” He looked up at Kurt and gave the older man a confused look.
“If you open the playlist, it has only two songs. Both are titled Just The Way You Are. One by Bruno Mars. The other by Billy Joel. Because I think you’re amazing just the way you are and I couldn’t love you any better. I love you just the way you are.”