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Betelgeuse had been watching Lydia for years. He lurked occasionally in the shadows as she grew up and went to college and dropped out and worked dead-end jobs that were beneath her. He checked in on her usually once a month, sometimes every few months if he was too busy with his growing business. But he never made his presence known to her. He just liked to follow her around for a day or two and watch her go about her life. He wasn’t quite sure why. She was a compelling breather, he had to admit, of which there were few. There was just something about Lydia that intrigued him- always had.
He could even feel her emotions from time to time. He wondered if it was a remnant of their short-lived marriage, maybe some kind of psychic connection. Betelgeuse wasn’t quite sure (he wasn’t sure about anything when it came to her) but he knew she was there. As if there were a piece of Lydia inside of him and he could feel random twinges of her sadness or, less commonly, her happiness. But recently, he hadn’t felt anything from her, and he’d been so busy with work he hadn’t checked in on her in a couple months.
Then one night, he was at home, dog-tired from a bio-exorcism gone wrong, and he was nursing a whiskey while watching some shitty reality shows that passed for television in the netherworld. He heard her voice calling to him across the ether, provoking him. She said it once, then twice. Those words filled him with a heat that struck down all the way to his core and thrummed inside him like a low bass note. Three times.
Betelgeuse. Betelgeuse. Betelgeuse.
And suddenly, he wasn’t sinking into his lumpy sofa anymore. He felt his energy shifting as it moved from one plane of existence to another. He watched the atoms around him jump and jolt and disappear, and he realized a part of him was worried. Lydia wouldn’t say his name even once- she knew better. So for her to go so far as to summon him after all these years had to mean something was wrong.
Betelgeuse didn’t arrive with a grand entrance like he was normally so fond of doing. He had a feeling she wouldn’t appreciate the annoying showmanship from him in that moment, especially if she was in danger. When his body fully materialized and his mind had caught up to being among the living, his eyes focused on her.
Lydia was sitting on the corner of the couch in her apartment, as nonchalant as could be.
Betelgeuse looked down at her. He’d been watching her for so long, he could read her pretty well, and he knew she wasn’t okay. But he didn't know what to say or what to do. He’d never been summoned for seemingly no reason before. And a small part of him felt a little nervous to be completely in her presence again.
She just looked him up and down, almost studying him, her neutral expression unchanging.
He felt exposed for some reason, underneath her dark gaze, and he couldn’t handle the silence any longer. He had to say something, anything, to break the tension.
“It’s been a long time.”
She nodded slightly. “Thirteen years.”
Another uncomfortable silence lingered between them. Betelgeuse just didn’t know what to say. He was out of his element, trying his best not to be obnoxious. But that was about the only way he knew how to talk to people, and he needed to know why she had summoned him to then just sit there and say nothing.
“Didya miss me?” He smirked and made his tone light to try to break the tension again.
Lydia didn’t respond to his attempt at lightening the mood. She just picked at a loose thread on the black sweatshirt she was wearing, until she finally spoke.
“I thought this would make me feel something.”
Betelgeuse frowned as she continued.
“I thought calling you would make me feel afraid or excited or piss me off, I don't know, anything.” She shrugged. “But I still feel nothing.”
He wondered if that’s why he hadn’t sensed anything from her in months. He couldn’t remember the last time he had ever felt so awkward and uncomfortable, so completely out of his depth. Of course Lydia Deetz would be the only person who could do that to him.
“You want me to scare ya? I could turn into a hideous monster and snarl in your face.” He shrugged. It was a genuine suggestion. He really did want to help her in any way he could.
Lydia shook her head. “It’s no use. I think I’m broken.”
“Hey, babe.” Betelgeuse sat down next to her on the couch, making sure to keep some distance between them though. “You’re not broken.”
“Then why am I so empty?”
“You ain’t empty either. You got a beatin’ heart in that chest.” He poked her over her heart. “And that’s more than I can say for a lotta people I know.”
The corner of Lydia’s mouth quirked up just a tiny fraction of an inch at that. She narrowed her eyes at him. “You’re different. You should be annoying me, or hitting on me relentlessly, or turning me into a bug and squashing me under your boot as punishment for summoning you here for no reason.”
“Ya know, I figured it didn’t seem like the best time for any of my usual antics. Or homicide.”
“Since when do you have situational awareness?”
“Well, believe it or not, babe, I always have. I just don’t give a shit ninety-nine percent of the time.”
“So why is this the one percent where you do give a shit?”
Betelgeuse sighed. He contemplated over whether he should tell her about how he’d been watching her for her whole life and how he could feel her and that he didn’t know why he cared about her so much but goddammit he did.
He figured she could know a little bit of that. “Look, I got a confession to make.”
She looked at him warily, and he definitely didn’t blame her.
“I may have been stalking you for the past thirteen years.” He mumbled.
Lydia furrowed her eyebrows. “Why?”
“I don’t really remember anymore. I think I was just pissed at you and your family for the whole sandworm thing. But over time...” He shrugged, unsure of how much he should give away. He didn’t really want to let her know how fond of her he’d grown over the years. “You kinda became like a pet to me, ya know? Like a chihuahua or something.”
“A chihuahua?”
“Or whatever animal you wanna be. You don’t have to be a chihuahua.”
She just shook her head. “So, you just follow me around?”
“Well, not all the time. I do have a life of my own, ya know. Well, afterlife, whatever. I’m busy. My business is booming. I just check up on you for a day or two every couple months. See how things are going, if there’s anything new in your life, help you out from time to time, things like that.”
“Help me out?” She sounded like she didn’t believe it.
“Yeah. Like when that one shitty boss of yours at the pizza place got fired.”
“He got fired for jacking off on the clock after closing.” She raised an eyebrow. “How did that have anything to do with you?”
“Well, he always made sure to turn the cameras off when everyone left before he got frisky with himself, but I made sure they actually stayed on.”
Lydia cracked a smile at that. “God, he was a fucking creep.”
“You shoulda seen what he was doin’ in the kitchen.”
Her jaw dropped, stunned into silence at the implication.
Betelgeuse nodded. “It’s exactly what you think it is. I feel kinda bad for anyone who ordered alfredo sauce on their pizza.”
“I don’t think I’ve hated anyone in my life more than that guy.”
“Trust me, I know. I’ve never felt more anger from you than when you were working there-” Betelgeuse cut himself off, realizing what he had just said.
Lydia eyed him suspiciously. “What do you mean? Feeling my anger?”
He knew he could try to brush it away. Play it off like he misspoke or something. But Lydia was too smart for that. He chided himself inwardly for never thinking before he spoke.
“I guess I got another confession to make...” He didn’t know how to tell her. He didn't even understand it himself. A silence lingered in the air between them.
“What?”
“Umm.” He scratched at his cheek, still trying to think of the best way to say it. “I think we got some kind of psychic bond. Sometimes, I can feel your emotions.”
Lydia stared at him like he had two heads, but he was pretty sure he was in his regular one-headed form in that moment.
“How do you know they’re mine?” She finally asked.
That’s why he didn’t want to mention it to her. Because she had questions. The same questions he had for himself that he could never answer.
“I can’t explain it.” Betelgeuse shrugged. “I just know. I get hit with these flashes of emotions that I know aren’t mine.”
“But how do you know they’re mine instead of someone else’s?”
“Because I’m not connected to anyone else.”
“We’re not connected.”
“We were married.”
“So, you think that we got this psychic bond from that two-minute wedding ceremony?”
He shrugged again. He didn’t want to have to admit that it was actually probably because he had formed such a strong attachment to her over the years from watching her go through life and maybe falling a little bit in love with her. Hell, he didn’t even want to admit that to himself. “I dunno, Lydia. Maybe.”
“Well then why can’t I feel your emotions?”
“Probably because you’re just a lowly breather and your third eye is glued shut.”
She rolled her eyes. “Gee, thanks.”
“You asked.”
She stared at him for a while, probably trying to decide whether or not she should believe him. “Can you feel anything now?”
“No. I mean we’re right next to each other- don't really need a psychic connection to understand another person’s emotions when they’re right in front of you.”
“Well, have you felt anything from me recently?”
He shook his head.
“What about before? When you could feel them?”
“I always knew when you were really sad.”
She nodded slowly.
“And if I wasn’t too busy, I would pop in to check on you, try to cheer you up. Over the years, I figured out that you’re the happiest when it’s raining out and you make yourself a cup of cinnamon tea. Bonus points if you have that big blanket of yours wrapped around you and you’re watching your favorite movie. Trust me, I made sure Creature from the Black Lagoon was always playin’ on some television channel for ya. It’s harder to manipulate weather patterns over a big area so usually I just made sure there was at least a drizzle around your apartment building.”
After a few beats of silence, he looked over at Lydia. She was smiling, but there were tears falling down her cheeks.
“Hey, hey.” He reached out and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her closer to him. “You okay?”
Lydia wiped the wetness from her eyes and nodded. “You want to know how sad my life is? I think you’re about the only person that cares about me right now.”
“Ah, come on. That can’t be true. What about those uptight ghosts you called me to save back then?”
“The Maitlands. They found a loophole and passed on about a year ago.”
Betelgeuse brought his hand up to her head and smoothed her hair down, hoping she would find it soothing. “I’m sorry, honey.”
He figured he was better off not asking about her parents or if she had any friends. He didn’t want to potentially reopen any old wounds. Over the years, he’d seen her with various friends and boyfriends and girlfriends, but he knew how fickle human relationships could be.
She looked up at him through matted eyelashes. “I’ve felt so lonely for so long, and I didn’t even know that you’ve been with me this whole time.”
He felt a pang of guilt. “I didn’t think you would want to see me, so I never really made my presence known.”
She nodded her understanding and rested her head on his chest.
“But I’m here now.” Betelgeuse placed a kiss on top of her head. “And I won’t go anywhere unless you tell me to.”
“You promise?” Her voice was muffled against him.
“Of course, babe. I am your husband, after all.” He grinned, and if Betelgeuse had a heart it would’ve burst at hearing Lydia’s chuckles in his ear.