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Luisa knew she shouldn’t be up this late. She’d been told multiple times that “She can’t stay up this late because Isabela and Dolores are big girls now.”
BIG.
That was the word that had always confused her. Luisa had it used in so many contexts ranging from the size of the church to her sisters ages to her size and weight. Those were the most common ones from the different kids in her class who she’d accidently hurt playing in the playground because hadn’t gotten control of gift yet; the other kids struggling to push her on the swing or how she struggled to keep up with the other children during P.E. or whilst playing tag. Hearing the comments the girls made as she got changed repeated during mealtimes both at school and home. Each time Luisa tried to tell them she looks like this because of her “gift” and so she “can sustainably use it.” At least that’s the excuse her parent always said.
Luisa had always seen how her Abuela favours Isabela over her. Always going on about Isabela’s achievements, how perfect her skin is, how perfect her hair is and on and on about how perfect Isabela is to anybody who’d care to listen. On the other hand, Luisa’s lucky if her name ever gets mentioned at all or if it did it was always offering up her service in some way shape or form. This was something all Madrigals learned from an early age “Your Only as Good as Your Gift”.
Nower days, Luisa can’t view herself as anything other than the towns hideous and UGLY work mule. That's another word she’d learned to associate with herself and body due to a conversation she overheard between her Abuela and her parents when she was 12 years old.
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Luisa quietly creped down the stairs of Casita towards the kitchen for some leftovers when she overheard her Abuela talking to somebody about Isabela’s future,” As Isabela’s the eldest she’ll be married and have children first followed by Dolores then Camilo when he’s old enough to, we’ll discuss appropriate suitors and courtship closer to the time...”
Julieta interrupted with the question,” What about Luisa? She wants her own family the most out of all of them you remember what she was like when Mirabel was born, she basically became a second mother to her.”
Augustin agreed with his wife,” Luisa has always dreamed of becoming a mother and you're going to deny her that dream, why?”
“Because no man is going to find her attractive enough to court her never mind marring her. Maybe if you didn’t keep filling her like a bottomless pit, she could have had that dream because she looks like she’s having that dream now. Next time you see her, tell me if anybody with so much as go near the ugly, hideous donkey she is. That is why she’ll never get that dream because you stole it from her,” Abuela said in an accusatory tone pointing a finger aggressively in Julieta’s chest, followed swiftly by” If you want to let her have this, put her on a restrictive diet that I'll draft tonight in time for breakfast in the morning and you better make sure she follows it!” in a cold tone.
Luisa couldn’t bear to listen any longer. She ran from the door, without getting the leftovers her appetite completely diminished, the whole way to her room slamming her door shut, not caring if anyone heard, jumping on her bed fully sobbing like a dam broke behind her eyes. All sorts of thoughts started swirling around her head.
Is this what Abuela truly thinks of me?
The other kids too?
What if mama and papa agree as they didn’t deny any of it?
Is this why Isabela laughs when she walks in the room?
Do her cousins think the same as well?
Her Tio and Tia?
God forbid Mirabel?
All the other kids say the thing?
What if the right?
But they can’t be right, can they?
'Mama always says I'm a healthy weight when I've asked her about it and mama wouldn’t lie to me just so I would stop pestering her because she’s an embarrassment to the family and everyone around her, right?'
Right?
Just too hopefully prove the thoughts wrong, Luisa swung her legs off her bed and waddled to her bathroom to look at herself. Once she reached the mirror, everything came crashing down, the dam burst she realised the thoughts were right even her own Abuela was right. She truly was no Isabela she was more like Mula Retenta or even the mountains surrounding the Encanto. Luisa ran back to her bed throwing herself hard on it crying wishing she looked like Isabela or even Dolores, she didn’t care who she was by the end of this, all she knew was she needed to be skinny and pretty. She needed to be like Isabela. She'll make sure of that.
Now seven years later, she’s trying to stay that way. But will she