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Winter on the ground was cold.
On the Ark, they’d had a regulated heating and cooling system that left the station relatively the same temperature year round. It was one of the things Clarke was realizing she’d taken for granted while stuck in space. At least when she got hot, she could just walk to the thermostat in her room and turn it down the few degrees she was allowed, or vice versa; for the most part, the temperature was neither too hot nor too cold. Living in a tepid hunk of metal did not prepare her for the freezing temperatures, or the icy wind, or the piles of numbing snow on earth.
Polis, though the grandiose city it was, had little electricity, if any at all. Clarke couldn’t simply walk up to a dial and turn it left or right three notches; all she could do was hunker down in furs and blankets and try her best to ignore the painful quivering in her bones. But at least in Polis, in her own bedroom Lexa had provided for her upon her (rather unwanted) arrival, she had plenty of furs to wrap tightly around her body at night to keep the temperatures from freezing her.
She was beginning to regret agreeing to come with Lexa to visit the Boat Clan.
The journey was long, and Clarke had no bed to cuddle in to. Sleeping in pitched tents with hard, thin pseudo-beds which were easy to roll up for travel, and cuddling up in fewer furs than she’d even had blankets on the Ark was agonizing on her bones. She fell asleep each night of the journey shaking, feeling her spine tightening in protest to the chilly winds sweeping around her, and she woke feeling utterly drained and cold. Her jaw was numb from the chattering of her teeth. Her hands were chapped and dry. She was regretting coming along, but she knew how much the journey to visit Luna meant to Lexa.
Luna had stuck by Heda’s side in the war with the Ice Nation, and Lexa had reciprocated her protection and alliance fiercely; now that the Coalition had found its balance once more and peace was settling in, Luna was holding a grand banquet in honor of Lexa, for keeping her people safe in times of struggle and insuring the peace in the Boat Clan. Not one to refuse a good party—and hopefully to score some major brownie points with Lexa—Clarke figured it would be best to accompany the Commander. She figured at least she’d share Lexa’s tent with her along the way, but no, Lexa had to be quite the gentlewoman. They hadn’t defined their relationship as of yet; while Clarke and Lexa had both expressed their desire for each other, neither had made a move to make it something serious. Clarke had still been unsure of how ready she was to be in a relationship after the war’s end, and Lexa respected her space. As much as Clarke appreciated the sweet gestures from Lexa, who had not made any step to take their relationship to a more physical level, or even a more determined level, she also was rather annoyed that Lexa found it indecent to even share a tent, especially when she had started to drop the hints that she was ready to be something with Lexa.
Clarke protested this the first night of four on the long journey, saying, “But I’m so cold, Lexa!” And all she’d gotten in response was a small smirk and a “They spoiled you in space, did they not?” from Lexa as she handed over her biggest fur blanket to the blonde and kicked her out of her tent with a, “It’s improper for you to spend the night with me, Clarke.”
“Why? We’re not going to do anything with your guards—”
“Goodnight, Clarke,”
The conversation had pretty much ended there. Clarke tried to bring it up once more on the third day, when she was so cold her toes felt like blocks of ice through her boots, but Lexa had simply given her another small smile as she handed over her warm gloves to Clarke.
After that rather depressing shoot down from Lexa, Clarke swallowed her pride, left her own tent, and marched into her mother’s small tent. She really shouldn’t have been surprised to see Kane in there with her mother—thank whatever greater power there might be that all they had been doing was talking about food supply back in Arkadia—but Clarke more or less banished Kane to her own tent while she took his place with Abby, curling into her mother’s side like so used to as a child to keep warm.
It astounded Clarke how used to these conditions Lexa and her accompanying party were. Even her mother and Kane, who had been asked personally by Lexa to accompany them to the Boat Clan as Skaikru delegates, were faring better than she was.
Clarke either must be unusually sensitive to the cold, or everyone else around her must be mutants like the two headed deer she’d seen upon her arrival.
She figured it must be the latter.
Tonight, at least, they’d be arriving at Troyt, the capitol of the Boat Clan, so hopefully Luna would have warm beds reserved for her guests of honor.
They rode for hours, Indra on one side of Lexa with Clarke on the other. For the most part, they rode in silence, save for the occasional command from Lexa to stop for their horses to break.
“Why the hell are we travelling in winter?” Clarke mumbled more to herself than anyone else as they took their last stop of the day. The sun was low in the sky, in its waning hours, and the oppressive chill of night was beginning to sneak its way into the evening. She leaned up against Lexa’s horse, a horse which was much nicer to Clarke than her own, who whinnied in protest every time Clarke mounted her.
(On the first day of their journey, Clarke had pointed out her horse’s obvious mistrust of Clarke, saying, “She hates me, Lexa! Your horse is much nicer to me, can’t we just switch?”
“Clarke, she’s a horse. Horses don’t hate humans. She’s just unused to you, is all. Give her time.”
Finding opportune time to tease Lexa, Clarke said, “You know, they say animals take after their owners, which would explain why your horse has no qualms about pretty girls riding them.”
Lexa ignored the comment, but Clarke knew the pink on the Commander’s cheeks wasn’t from the wind chill.)
Lexa sighed at Clarke’s side, running her hands through the silken hair of her white steed. “This is an unusually long winter, Clarke. By now the weather begins to change; however, every few years we have these oppressive colds. We cannot let the weather dictate our lives. The Boat Clan isn’t just calling for celebration; Luna also needs to discuss important Council matters with delegates from each clan concerning trade.”
Clarke huffed, kicking her right foot in the thin layer of snow. “It’s freezing. Can’t she wait until spring to double check with everyone if her fish exports are good enough?”
“It’s much more than that, Clarke.” Lexa hummed. “Also, you well know that Raven is setting up an inter-clan communications system. It is vital for us to do at some point, and now is as good a time as any.” After a moment, she added, “And we will not freeze, we are able to adapt to this weather. With proper clothing and—”
“Yeah, yeah,” Clarke muttered, standing up straight as she moved away from Lexa’s horse. “Can we get a move on? I think my nose is about to chip off from being a block of ice,”
Lexa smiled, but nodded nonetheless. “En,” she spoke loudly, gathering the attention of her party, “kom Troyt,” she mounted her horse effortlessly, pulling the thin set of furs draped over the steed’s saddle across her thighs.
Clarke made an annoyed face as she stepped on the right stirrup of her own horse, feeling the creature buck in protest. “Yeah, yeah, I’d rather not be on you, either,” she grumbled, swinging her leg over the other side.
They rode for roughly an hour more. The moon was rising in the sky when they arrived, the last bits of light bursting from the ground. The city gates to Troyt swung open as they went forwards, and the group moved in until they were all past the gates. Lexa dismounted her horse, seeing the familiar face of her old friend. “Luna, thank you for having us.”
Clarke stayed behind, making quick work of pulling her packs of belongings from the sides of her and Lexa’s saddles. She eyed Luna, taking note of the way she was dressed. She remembered Luna in her battle gear well; while the Boat Clan had nothing on the Azgeda in terms of fierce war gear, they did certainly look intimidating in battle. In her everyday wear and without her war paint, however, Luna looked much more subdued. Her own hair was blonde like Clarke’s, though lighter in shade; it fell to the small of her back, braided intricately, much like Lexa’s. She was a few years Lexa’s senior, as shown with the lines of age that had started to worry on her face, but she was still beautiful.
Luna extended her arm, gripping Lexa’s in a firm welcome. “Your party is large,” she said, nodding towards the group. She studied Abby and Kane, who were walking towards the Commander. Raising an eyebrow, she whispered with a smirk, “Ah, you’ve brought the in-laws?”
“Shof op, Luna,” Lexa rolled her eyes, feeling the back of her neck burn hot against the frigid air.
“Marcus Kane! Abigail Griffin! Welcome,” Luna said, extending her hand to each of them.
“Thank you for having us, Luna,” Kane responded, gripping her hand firmly. “We’re sure we’ll love our stay here in your beautiful city,”
“But of course,” Luna nodded. “Skaikru is always welcome here,”
Luna turned to her guards, muttering something in her clan’s native dialect, and the next thing Clarke knew, they were taking the bags from her hands. She looked over at Lexa, confused. “Did I do something wrong?”
Lexa grinned. Luna laughed, nodding towards Clarke. “My warriors will take your things to your quarters.” She looked at the rest of Lexa’s party, saying, “Follow Tanuk and Hotar. They will lead you to warmth,” which was all it took for Raven to make her way forward quickly, pushing past a group of Trikru guards, hobbling with her brace and muttering, “Thank God,”
Clarke gave a little laugh. Perhaps she wasn’t the only one freezing her ass off.
It was a comforting thought that she might not be the only one to die of hypothermia here.
Clarke moved to Lexa’s side, standing as firm as she could through her body’s shaking, as Luna and Lexa spoke to one another. Her mother and Kane passed her by, making their way with all of Lexa’s guards and delegates to follow Luna’s to shelter. She stared at a fire pit in the distance, outside what looked to be like a small cottage, and her fingers itched to steady themselves over its warmth.
“Clarke. Clarke,”
Clarke snapped back to reality, looking at Lexa. “Sorry. What’s up?”
Lexa looked upwards at the night sky in confusion, before realizing it was another one of Clarke’s people’s idioms. She sighed, shaking her head. “Your people’s vernacular language never fails to confuse me. Luna was saying that you should head off, she and I have much to discuss tonight. You’re tired,”
Clarke nodded gratefully. “I am. I’ll regroup in the morning.”
Luna smiled. “Did you see the building your friends went to, or shall I call a guard over to escort you?”
Clarke shook her head. “No, thank you, Luna. I’ll just be on my way.”
Lexa rested her hand on the small of Clarke’s back. “Rest well, Clarke.” She spoke softly, before she pulled her hand away from Clarke’s skin.
Clarke nodded numbly, heading in the direction she’d seen her mother go earlier. It wasn’t hard to figure out which place was Luna’s residence, after all. It was a tower like Lexa’s in Polis, though much shorter in height and wider in circumference.
The many guards stationed outside of it were sort of a giveaway, too.
Upon her arrival, she was led to her own room by one of Luna’s men. He was tall and burly, with an intricate tattoo on his face. He didn’t speak any other words than, “Follow me,” and, “Your room, Wanheda,”
Clarke thanked him quickly, walking into the large space. It wasn’t as furnished as her quarters in Polis, nor as large, but it was homey and welcoming, lit with many candles. She all but fell into the bed of furs, kicking her boots off and wrapping herself up without bothering to take her clothes off and change into her nightwear. She fell asleep fast, warm and on a cushioned mattress for the first time in days, and didn’t feel the quaking of her bones.
She woke hours later upon hearing the creaking of her door. She lifted her head sleepily, seeing Lexa walk into her room. Lexa’s eyes widened, as she said, “Forgive me, Clarke. This is usually my room when I stay,” she looked towards the door, before looking back at Clarke. “Luna must’ve made a mistake,”
Clarke groaned, letting her head hit the pillow. “Just get in bed,” she croaked, feeling how gravelly her voice was.
“I can find another—”
“Lexa,” Clarke said, sitting upright. “I’m sure Luna meant to do this. She knows we’re—whatever we are.”
Lexa paused, before letting out a shaky sigh. She shut the bedroom door with her right hand, before turning to Clarke. “I did not wish to presume,”
“What? That I wouldn’t be okay with sharing a bed with you?” Clarke asked, raising an eyebrow.
“You said you were not ready,” Lexa reasoned, taking a step closer to the foot of the bed.
“Months ago,” Clarke sighed, running a hand through her bedhead. After a moment, she patted the side of the bed. “Come,”
Lexa swallowed but nodded, unclasping her large coat. She draped it over the edge of the bed, before removing her boots and climbing in next to Clarke. She sat stiffly, back straight, staring ahead at the door.
“Look, Lexa, I appreciate this whole courtesy thing you’ve got going for me,” Clarke said, resting her hand on Lexa’s thigh. Lexa’s leg jerked, not expecting the touch. “But—Finn’s been gone for a long time. The war is over. I—I thought you’d realized I was ready to, I don’t know, be something with you.”
Lexa turned her head slightly to the right, looking at Clarke. “I was unsure,” she spoke softly. “I didn’t want to make you feel like I was pressuring you to,” she gave a small shrug, “be something.”
Clarke smiled back softly. “Thank you. But,” she said, scooting closer to Lexa, “I tried to drop hints for you,”
Lexa furrowed her eyebrows. “What?”
Clarke grinned. “The hugs? The cheek kisses? Lexa, come on,”
Lexa cleared her throat. “I did not want to partake in wishful thinking.”
“Wishful thinking?” She laughed. “We’ve pretty much established how we feel about each other.”
“Yes,” Lexa said, licking her dry lips. “We have. But I did not want to make the first move, Clarke. I wanted you to,” she said, looking at the hand on her thigh. “When you were ready.”
“I have,” Clarke said, rolling her eyes. “Multiple times.”
“Like when?” Lexa asked, looking back up at Clarke’s face.
“The tent?” Clarke said, making a face. “I thought I made it clear I wanted to sleep with you,”
Lexa’s face went red.
“Not—not like that,” Clarke quickly said, shaking her head. “Well, not that I’d be opposed to that either, but I just meant, you know, fall asleep with you. You’re warm. I mean, people are warm. Body heat. Cuddling, holding each other, that—”
“You’re rambling, Clarke.”
“Right.”
Lexa looked down at her lap, a small smile on her lips. “I wished to share a tent with you, too; but I did not. I didn’t want to presume—and…perhaps I fear the wrath of your mother.”
Clarke blinked. After a moment, she let out a loud laugh. “What?”
Lexa shook her head, laughing a little herself. “Your mother is a fierce woman, Clarke. Mothers are protective of their cubs.”
“Yeah, well, my mom is too busy tripping all over herself for Kane, so,” Clarke grinned. “I doubt she would’ve even noticed.”
After a pause, Lexa said, “Clarke, do you—what do you want to be?”
“Hmm?”
“Concerning me. Us,” she said, turning her body more fully towards Clarke. “This,” she gestured between them.
Clarke looked down at her hands. “I don’t know. I just know I’m ready to,” she paused, before saying, “be something. We’ve—we’ve been through a lot. I know I have feelings for you, Lexa,”
The sides of Lexa’s lips twitched up. “I have feelings for you, too, Clarke.” With a tinge of pink on her cheeks, Lexa pulled the furs up her body, slipping comfortably under the covers. She moved down the bed, resting her head on the pillow on her side. “We should rest. We have much to accomplish tomorrow.”
Clarke followed suit, laying back down as she had been previously. After a moment’s hesitation, she pressed into Lexa’s side, resting her head on Lexa’s shoulder.
“What are you doing?”
“I’m cold.”
Lexa cocked an eyebrow. “So?”
“Warm me up,”
With a laugh and a shake of her head, Lexa rested her arm around Clarke’s body, pulling her close. With her other hand, she brought the furs further up, enveloping them both tightly.
“See?” Clarke said with a yawn. “Body heat is wonderful.”
“You’re wonderful,” Lexa murmured.
“Oh, Lexa?”
“What is it, Clarke?”
Clarke lifted her head from Lexa’s shoulder, scooting up on the bed a little. She looked at Lexa in the dark for a moment, before leaning forward, brushing her lips against Lexa’s. “Goodnight,”
Lexa smiled as Clarke settled back down on her chest. “Goodnight, Clarke.”