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Jang Se-Jin hurriedly poured another glass of soju for Oh Su-Jeong after the latter slammed her glass against the coffee table. The two were sat on the floor of Cha Yeong-Min’s living room after a dinner that Go Seung-Tak enthusiastically referred to as a “double-date!”
“I cannot believe them.”
Su-Jeong’s eyes were glued to Yeong-Min and Seung-Tak washing dishes. The two were currently finding creative ways to get soap suds on each other. Se-Jin felt warmth bubble in her chest as the two chased each other around the kitchen. She turned back to Su-Jeong, whose cup was already empty from Se-Jin’s pour.
“I think it’s nice.”
“Nice!?”
Se-Jin chose her words carefully, twirling her own cup in her palm. “It probably still isn’t very common here, but in the US I had many colleagues who had, well, non-traditional relationships…”
Su-Jeong put up her hand in protest. Se-Jin decided to continue.
“It was a bit of a shock for me, I guess, at first, but I came to appreciate that love comes in many forms…”
“Seonbae, stop.”
“But—“
“I don’t have an issue with gay people.”
Se-Jin blinked.
“But you just…”
Se-Jin trailed off, unable to find better words. Su-Jeong sighed and poured her seonbae another glass. Se-Jin tentatively downed the soju, looking at Su-Jeong, then the pair in the kitchen, then back to Su-Jeong.
“I have an issue with those idiots not doing shit about their undying love for each other.”
Se-Jin’s eyes widened. “You—“
Su-Jeong shuddered. “Oh they piss me off. Does the Professor even know he’s into guys?”
Se-Jin considered that for a moment. Yeong-Min didn’t generally play well with others, so she barely had the opportunity to get jealous even about him interacting with other women. After returning from the US, and then finally getting to see Yeong-Min and Seung-Tak interact in person, it was pretty clear to Se-Jin as well that the two had some sort of romantic entanglement regardless of if they were aware of it themselves.
“I don’t know, actually. I’m assuming Seung-Tak… does?”
Su-Jeong let out a hearty laugh. “One-hundred-percent yes. Oh!” She clapped a hand in front of her mouth. “Not sure if he’d want me telling you that…” Su-Jeong leaned her chin in the heel of her palm. “…Whatever, too late now, I guess. Eonni, on my grandfather’s spirit if you tell anyone at work I’ll turn you into a coma ghost myself.”
Se-Jin gave an enthusiastic nod, and Su-Jeong’s expression softened. Seeing her conversation partner relax a bit, Se-Jin turned back to the pair in the kitchen. Light seemed to dance between Yeong-Min’s and Seung-Tak’s eyes as the former scolded the latter for his lack of attention to detail when drying cups.
“We…“ Su-Jeong started, stretching her legs out under the table and leaning back on the heels of her palms. “…haven’t really talked about it, actually.“
“About what?”
“Seung-Tak’s feelings for Professor Cha.”
“Mm,” Se-Jin hummed with a nod.
“You know I confessed to Seung-Tak that I had a crush on him here?”
Se-Jin looked back at Su-Jeong. “You did?”
“While he was camping out here, hiding from everyone. And I came to get him, remember? When I arrived, he was wearing Professor Cha’s clothes. He looked ridiculous, complained they didn’t fit, but…” Su-Jeong exhaled, looking up to the ceiling. “He didn’t need to do that. Wear the Professor’s clothes, I mean. Seung-Tak has an unlimited credit card. We’re in Gangnam. He could have easily bought clothes that suited his tastes but instead chose to…” Su-Jeong trailed off, and Se-Jin waited patiently for her to continue. “Anyway, the point is, in all of that, I decided to confess that I had a crush on him.“
“I… see.”
“I think I was trying to cheer him up, knowing that was the best news I could bring him. We didn’t exactly have a full conversation about it, and then Professor Cha gave himself pneumonia so Seung-Tak had to come back—“
“Wait—hold on.” Something churned in Se-Jin’s stomach. “Did you say Yeong-Min gave himself pneumonia?”
Su-Jeong took a sharp inhale and leaned forward to refill Se-Jin’s glass. “I…thought you already knew.”
Se-Jin downed the glass, then looked back at the pair in the kitchen. Yeong-Min tugged at Seung-Tak’s waist to indicate he wanted space next to him at the sink, and Seung-Tak shifted as directed.
“For all of our efforts…it was the only thing that got Seung-Tak back to the hospital.”
Se-Jin put her head in her hands. “I’m going to kill him.”
Su-Jeong gave Se-Jin a tentative pat on the back. “He was under a lot of pressure—“
Se-Jin pushed back her hair with her hands and stood. Su-Jeong startled back.
“Yeong-Min-ssi, can I have a word with you?”
Yeong-Min and Seung-Tak froze. Yeong-Min appeared to be in the middle of guiding Seung-Tak through washing a strainer.
“Oooh, is Professor Cha in trouble?” Seung-Tak giggled. Yeong-Min scowled and pulled the dishwashing gloves from his hands. He applied lotion and then walked over to where Se-Jin still stood in the living room.
“Yes, my love?”
“Your hoobae here tells me that you gave yourself pneumonia.”
Su-Jeong coughed. Yeong-Min opened his mouth, then closed it again. “Well, ah, you see, at the time—“
“What in the world were you thinking?! You could have died!”
“It was under control!“
“And you did it to force Seung-Tak to come back to the hospital!? You couldn’t come up with any better ideas!?”
Yeong-Min swallowed, then nodded, hands clasped behind his back. Seung-Tak raised a soapy glove.
“Dr. Jang, it was my fault.”
“Not a word out of you.”
“Yes ma’am.”
Se-Jin turned back to Yeong-Min, who was clearly growing more uncomfortable by the second. She pinched the bridge of her nose. “How much have you tortured him like this?”
Yeong-Min blinked. “Huh?”
“How much have you played with Seung-Tak like this?”
“He’s the one who plays around! If anything it’s me who’s been tortu—“
“Doing something to hurt me I understand. I have yet to repay my debt to you and I own up to that. But doing something to hurt Seung-Tak? What did he do to deserve that?”
“Uh—“
“Seung-Tak trusts you with his life for months and then you purposely give yourself pneumonia so you could, what, traumatize him into coming back to the hospital!? Are you serious?” Yeong-Min averted his eyes. “And now you pretend like everything’s good when I know—because I know you and I know the position Seung-Tak is in—that you two have not sat down and had a real, adult-to-adult conversation about your relationship with each other.”
Se-Jin’s skin was hot and her breaths were heavy. Su-Jeong and Seung-Tak exchanged a look before Su-Jeong approached Se-Jin.
“Eonni, what if we sit down?”
“Noona it’s okay, it isn’t that big of a deal, we already had a fight about it at the hospital when it happened—”
“No I’m talking big picture conversation. Because I know that our Yeong-Min isn’t ready to admit that he is in love with you.”
The room froze. Yeong-Min scrunched his brows. “Se-Jin-ah, what are you talking about? I only have eyes for y—”
“Yeong-Min-ssi, I am not jealous. I am angry! I am angry that you don’t see the pain Seung-Tak is in because of you.”
Something hazed over Yeong-Min’s eyes. “What are you saying?”
“Dr. Jang, please stop talking.”
The room turned to a Seung-Tak gripping the kitchen counter.
“Oh-Intern, do you know what my Se-Jin is talking about?”
Su-Jeong blinked. “This isn’t about me.”
“I get it, Yeong-Min. You aren’t ready. And maybe I shouldn’t have brought this up like this. But you need to get over it, because I can’t watch your negligence hurt someone like this—especially when they are someone about which you care very much.”
Yeong-Min turned to Seung-Tak. “Go Seung-Tak, do you know what my Se-Jin is talking about?”
The blood had drained from Seung-Tak’s face. Su-Jeong attempted to intercept.
“What if Seung-Tak and I finished up the dishes and then head out?”
“No.” Se-Jin closed her eyes and held up a palm. “No, I need… I need fresh air. Su-Jeong, would you please accompany me on a walk?”
Yeong-Min jumped. “Let me accompany yo—“
“No, you will stay here with Seung-Tak and finish what you started.”
Su-Jeong gritted her teeth, but knew she had to follow. Yeong-Min watched, mouth agape, as Se-Jin led Su-Jeong out the apartment door.
“I’ll text you?” Su-Jeong mouthed to Seung-Tak. He closed his eyes and nodded.
“Stay safe, Crystal.”
…
“Wow, that was crazy, huh?” Yeong-Min exhaled, letting himself fall onto the couch.
Seung-Tak returned to washing the dishes.
“I mean, what was she even talking about, right?”
Seung-Tak let a dish drop a little too loudly into the drying rack.
“Hey! Be careful!”
Seung-Tak scrunched his face and mouthed Be careful! while scrubbing a pot with uncharacteristic fervor.
Yeong-Min stood from the couch and walked back over to the kitchen, pushing up his sleeves to pull gloves back on. “Here, let me at least do the rest of the dishes, it’s my house.”
Seung-Tak lifted his palms as a barrier between himself and Yeong-Min. “No.”
“What?!”
Seung-Tak returned his hands to the sink. “I’ll do the rest by myself.”
Yeong-Min’s jaw dropped. “What is it with everyone today?” He reached into the sink to grab a dish and Seung-Tak took a large step back.
“Don’t—“ Seung-Tak squeezed his eyes shut and exhaled. “Please don’t touch me.”
Yeong-Min watched Seung-Tak, completely unable to decipher what caused the change in mood. He took a step back to give Seung-Tak space, and the latter returned to the sink. Yeong-Min watched Seung-Tak’s movements, noting that they were more precise than they were a few minutes prior.
“You’re… upset.”
Seung-Tak gave a stunted laugh. “Sure.”
Yeong-Min crossed his arms. “Was it what Se-Jin said?”
“Wow, you really are a genius.”
“It was kind of crazy, but I think she’s just had a long week—“
Seung-Tak dropped a pot into the sink with a heavy clatter and turned to Yeong-Min. “No, it wasn’t crazy. That’s the problem. I’m the crazy one. I’m the one who signed up for this because I’m an idiot. I know, Crystal knows, Dr. Jang knows, I’m sure the whole thoracic surgery department knows, but you, Professor Cha, have no idea!”
It clicked for Yeong-Min that he actually, genuinely, had no idea what was going on, and should swallow his pride and practice what Se-Jin described as ‘active listening.’ He mulled over the Se-Jin altercation with a little more attention to detail.
“What Se-Jin said about me hurting you…is that true?”
Seung-Tak squinted at Yeong-Min, then sighed and removed his dishwashing gloves. “It isn’t your fault.”
“What isn’t my fault?”
“You had no reason to believe that borrowing some guy’s body for a while would impact your relationship with him.”
“Well, obviously it would have some impact—“
“I’m not talking about becoming colleagues who trust and respect each other.”
Yeong-Min scrunched his face in thought. “I think I still don’t get it.”
“Before all this, I already knew that I tended to develop feelings for guys who ‘borrow’ my body.”
Yeong-Min tilted his head. “Wait, I thought I was the only ghost who could possess you?”
“Jesus you’re like talking to a fucking tree,” Seung-Tak groaned, burying his head in his hands. “Sex with men. I’m talking about having sex with men.”
“Ah.”
“Knowing that full well I was at extreme risk, I let you use my body for months, and then I got upset when—surprise!—I caught feelings.” Seung-Tak poured himself a glass of water and chugged it. He dropped the glass in the sink and wiped the corners of his mouth with the back of his sleeve before continuing.
“The worst part? I’m pretty sure the feelings are mutual, but I’m also pretty sure you will either never realize them or never act on them. So I made the decision to sustain myself on the crumbs I can get from our day to day, knowing that I’ll never get more, instead of doing the healthy thing and completely cutting off ties altogether. Now, of course, my original choice doesn’t matter because you’re probably going to excommunicate me from the department, but—“
“How do you know?”
“Wh—how do I know what?”
“How do you know you have these, uh,” Yeong-Min cleared this throat and occupied his eyes with the patterning on his kitchen counter. “feelings… for me?”
“How do you know you have feelings for Dr. Jang?”
Yeong-Min fell quiet in thought. It was a good question, and one Yeong-Min wouldn’t be able to easily answer. His feelings for her were like breathing; he’d known them since before he even became a surgeon. At this point his university days were fuzzy, so he couldn’t really call upon them for answers either. Yeong-Min shook his head.
“Never mind, I‘ll take you at your word.”
Seung-Tak wrung his hands together. Something was nagging at Yeong-Min.
“Wait,” Yeong-Min started. Seung-Tak tensed.
“What?”
“There was another thing.”
“What other thing?”
“Both of you said it.”
“Said what?”
“I can, uh, accept or whatever that you are into men and have a crush on me because our fates are tied or something. But you and Se-Jin both said that I’m in love with you.”
Seung-Tak closed his eyes with an exhale. “Don’t worry about it.”
“How can I not be worried about it?”
“You don’t deserve to go through your gay awakening like this.”
“My what?”
“Your realizing that you—you’re—aishh this is so annoying.” Seung-Tak ruffled his own hair in frustration. Yeong-Min felt the corners of his own mouth curl in amusement.
“Look… Seung-Tak-ah.” Yeong-Min took a tentative step towards Seung-Tak. “The people who I’m closest to, who know the most about me, who I’ve trusted my life to whether I like it or not, are you and Se-Jin. If you both agree on something without even talking to each other about it…” Yeong-Min took a deep breath. “I trust that it isn’t without reason.”
Seung-Tak looked up at Yeong-Min through his fluffed bangs. “You aren’t mad.”
It was more of an observation than a question.
“Correct.”
“Huh. I… I wasn’t expecting that.”
“I see it as wisdom only gained from seeing the world through the eyes of a ghost.”
Seung-Tak scoffed. “That’s ridiculous.”
“Can I… hug you?”
Seung-Tak didn’t seem to expect the question. “After all that, you want to hug me?”
Yeong-Min nodded.
Seung-Tak squinted. “You aren’t worried you might… catch it?”
“What, catch being into men? Like it’s a disease? According to you and Se-Jin it’s already too late for me anyway.”
“Then yes, you may hug me Professor.”
Yeong-Min smiled and stepped forward. He wrapped his arms around Seung-Tak’s shoulders, resting a palm against the back of Seung-Tak’s head to cradle it against his sternum. Seung-Tak gripped the back of Yeong-Min’s shirt. Yeong-Min felt Seung-Tak exhale, finally relaxing into Yeong-Min’s arms.
The two were still in the embrace when the beep of the front door sounded. Yeong-Min turned his head, but didn’t otherwise change his position. A quick removal of shoes later, and Se-Jin and Su-Jeong had re-entered the apartment with what appeared to be an entire restock of alcohol for the apartment.
“Omo, are we interrupting?” Su-Jeong asked, lifting a twelve pack onto the counter. Seung-Tak instinctively started to move back, but Yeong-Min stood his ground. Realizing that the Professor didn’t mind, Seung-Tak rested his cheek on Yeong-Min’s chest.
“Oh thank god,” Se-Jin exclaimed, dropping a bag of large glass bottles on the floor next to the fridge. “Are you guys good now?”
Yeong-Min opened his mouth to respond, but Seung-Tak beat him to it.
“He still needs some time, but I think we’ll be okay.”
“Se-Jin, you would be so proud of me, I did active listening.”
“I’m still mad at you.”
Yeong-Min pouted.
“Noona, do you think you can share? He’s so firm.”
“You can have him Wednesdays and every other weekend.”
“Se-Jin-ah!”
Su-Jeong giggled as she poured from a fresh bottle of soju. Seung-Tak pulled away from the embrace to lift his glass for the pour, but Yeong-Min gave Seung-Tak’s palm a squeeze before fully letting go.
Se-Jin lifted her glass. “To active listening!”
Yeong-Min laughed. “To active listening?”
“No, you’re right.” Se-Jin repeated the action of lifting her glass. “To weed!”
Yeong-Min groaned and pinched the bridge of his nose. Seung-Tak’s eyes widened. “Dr. Jang?!”
Su-Jeong covered her mouth with her hand and giggled. “Eonni, I thought that was our little secret!”
Seung-Tak’s jaw dropped. “CRYSTAL?!”
Yeong-Min waved his free hand. “Whatever, can we drink now?”
The four clinked their glasses in unison.
“Geonbae!”