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Chapter Text

Adaine had been having a good time in her senior year.

With them all being able to effortlessly destroy the Last Standard Exam, the Bad Kids didn’t have to fret over any academic stressors! And, between her divinations, Riz’s detective work, and a legal team consisting of roughly a hundred devils courtesy of Fig, they’d made fucking sure that there wasn’t going to be any sort of villainous conspiracies this year.

The Bad Kids were taking a break!

…

Or Adaine thought they’d be taking a break, until the Rat Grinders had shown up on Fig’s doorstep in the Bottomless Pit, one slightly scorched Kipperlily in their arms, and asked Fig for a lift to Elmville.

Fig.

Said.

YES!

And now, Adaine found herself back in the Aguefort Adventuring Academy, keeping an eye on the murderous rogue that had just been jailbroken from Hell. Kipperlily knew she was here, but she didn’t try to push her away. The other Rat Grinders swore up and down that they weren’t going to let Kipperlily do anything, but Adaine didn’t buy it.

At the start of the year, Adaine watched as Kipperlily got in contact with numerous… dubious sources. Quiet cults lurking in the corners of Elmville. Various fiends that hid away, leading Kipperlily down to Bastion City. Hells, she’d even gone ahead and started talking to liaisons from the Court of Stars.

It almost felt like Kipperlily was pooling together anyone who might hate them, just to give them a shot at taking down the Bad Kids. So, Adaine had started following her, and dismantled any efforts she made to form groups designed to defeat the Bad Kids. But… no matter how much she looked into the situation, Adaine couldn’t find any sort of pattern.

Their rivalry had grown to the point that Jawbone decided to intervene. Kipperlily was no longer allowed to leave Elmville without a chaperone, and Adaine wasn’t allowed to use offensive magic within five hundred feet of Kipperlily unchaperoned. After two months of near violent encounters, they had been disarmed.

So it faded into a Cold War, with Adaine watching whatever Kipperlily was doing like a hawk.

Currently, Kipperlily was continuing to study the same books she had been for the past week. Books discussing the history of Fallinel, the development of different elven cultures, the spell components required for wizards, and, oddly enough, draconic practices concerning the collection and distribution of wealth. Perhaps that had something to do with why she talked to Oisin so much…

Adaine had found Oisin talking to Kipperlily one day in the library, and slipped in to try and listen as best she could, but the two had separated to study different books before she could hear much. Adaine had later cornered Oisin after class to threaten him into telling her why Kipperlily had been talking to him. After dancing around the issue for as long as he could, Oisin claimed it was because she was due a sizable portion of his a million times great grandma’s hoard, and so Kipperlily was investigating what sort of treasure she’d just been given.

Whatever. Adaine refocused on Kipperlily as she worked. Most adventurer’s knew what sort of scars dying left on the body. Kristen had one on her head and chest, Riz around his neck. … Adaine kept her’s hidden. It felt… vulnerable, bandying them about like Kristen did.

Though, Kipperlily didn’t have the luxury of hiding her scars. The burns covered her shoulder and neck, running further up her head, nearly removing her ear. Minor for what happened to her… but Ankarna may have had a hand in that. Still, rather than growing out her hair, wearing high necked sweaters, and hiding in dark corners, Kipperlily wore them proudly. She shaved half her head, letting everyone see the burn on her ear. She changed her button ups for tank tops, showing an outrageous amount of skin. Hell, she wasn’t even quiet that she got them from fighting the Bad Kids, gloating, GLOATING, about being killed by them!

Then again, she didn’t have many options, seeing as she’d been nothing more than a pawn for Porter. Kipperlily didn’t have much to her name.

Adaine watched as Kipperlily shut the books, put them in the return bins, and walked over to her. Adaine frowned. This wasn’t how things went. Kipperlily knew Adaine watched her, Adaine made no secret of it, but she didn’t bother addressing it. Now, Kipperlily was beelining for her.

Kipperlily stood next to the table, actually looking down at Adaine from her position. Adaine glared back, not making a single move to stand up. She was not intimidated by some unknown, rat-killing kid who wasn’t even smart enough to make her own plan.

“Abernant.”

“Clerickiller.”

The two stared at each other in silence for a moment, Adaine forcing her eyes not to wander. Not to the burn scar that traced its way down her head onto her neck, not to the golden hair that rolled off the right side of her head. No, just to those steel grey eyes, which bore right back at her.

It was Kipperlily who broke first. “I need your help.”

Adaine still said nothing, merely crossing her arms and glowering. Kipperlily seemed to wither under her gaze, and for a moment, Adaine relented. She stopped glowering, and began to look the other girl up and down. Was Kipperlily flustered?

“With what?”

Well that was an odd reaction, Adaine thought as Kipperlily winced at the statement. She seemed so small… no. No no nope no NO! This girl was responsible for putting her and her friends through hell last year!

“Ah uh, well… actually I need all of the Bad Kids help,” Kipperlily finally said. Adaine ignored the part of herself that felt disappointed to hear that. “I think I’ve found Buddy, but he’s somewhere in Sylvaire, and… uh, he’s recruited some dragons for some reason. I’ve… I was talking to Oisin about it.

“We’ve learned that he’s in Fa- Sylvaire, but seeing as that’s the domain of Kristen’s god, we thought it might be a good idea to ask you all for help. And… you’re all… better at adventuring than us… so… would you help us?”

Adaine sighed, and stood tall, looming over the suddenly fidgety Kipperlily. “Alright Cottonball, we’ll go with you idiots to Sylvaire. How soon can you leave?”

“Oh, if… if you’re ready to go now, then we can leave in… three days?”

“Fine, see you in three days,” Adaine said. She walked off, wondering why Kipperlily didn’t ask anyone else? Surely there were other parties. Kristen’s church had well and truly taken off, with a shocking number of people now worshipping Cassandra.

For that matter, why didn’t they have Lucy ask for Kristen’s help? Or Mary Ann ask Gorgug? Or Ivy, or Ruben? Hells, even Oisin might have had an easier time than little miss Caterwaul.

Well, if this was a chance for them to figure out what the fuck happened with Buddy and Kalina, she couldn’t really shut down the request. Kristen… Kristen had been hoping to find Buddy since he disappeared. When an opportunity like this presented itself, she needed to pursue it.

This, of course, had nothing to do with her obsession with Kipperlily as Kristen called it. She wasn’t obsessed! What she was doing was a perfectly normal reaction to learning that the one person who wanted Riz’s head on a pike for no reason whatsoever was allowed to roam the school as if nothing at all had happen! It’s not like Adaine spent hours learning everything she could about Kipperlily, trying to figure out what the hell her deal was, or when she’d put on perfume that reminded her of Boggy, or…

Maybe she had a small obsession.

~~~~

Kipperlily walked out of the library, and just kept walking. She wasn’t sure where she was walking, only that it was as far from Adaine as possible. She found an abandoned classroom, and cowered behind the door. She then screamed for a whole minute, the weight of her actions finally falling upon her shoulder.

‘Buddy’s in Sylvaire?’ THAT was the best she could do? When she got her hands on Oisin…

Right… the rest of her party. The ones who’d be ready to go to Sylvaire soon. That were also supposed to know about Buddy. THAT party.

Kipperlily reached down, and pulled her crystal from her pocket. She pulled up Oisin’s number, and called him. She held it up to her ear, waiting for his voice.

“Hey K-“

“IT DIDN’T FUCKING WORK!!!” she screamed into the mike. “YOU SAID-“

“Well maybe you should’ve followed my directions instead of marching to the beat of your own drum.”

“WHAT DO YOU-“

“You translated it. You MIStranslated it in fact.”

Kipperlily sat in stunned silence, before curling even further into a ball. “What.”

“Kipperlily, were you skimping out on your Draconic over the summer?” Oisin asked.

“I’m sorry that knowing Infernal was significantly more useful, now what were you saying.”

“You said ‘I need your help,’” Oisin explained. “It should’ve been more… it’s easier to explain in Draconic… More ‘I need your… contest, I need to challenge you… Draconic can be weird.’”

“Why didn’t you explain that part of the riddle?!?!?”

“ADAINE KNOWS DRACONIC!” Oisin shouted. “You just had to repeat what I said word for word to try to court her. And now we need to run to Sylvaire. Maybe you can kill her mother while we’re there, if you want to try a really archaic dragon courting ritual.”

“There aren’t any halfling courting rituals, and I’m not wasting years of my life learning the ‘High Elven Swan Poses’ or whatever.

“Wait. How do you know we need to go to Sylvaire?”

“Turn around.”

Kipperlily turned, and saw a floating, light-blue eye, watching her. An Arcane Eye, so wizards could see places they weren’t supposed to.

Kipperlily didn’t even have time to register that as awful, because another voice came over the crystal. “Love, you’re a fucking mess.”

“IVY!!!!!”

“Oh, yeah, everyone’s here,” Oisin told her, as a chorus of the Rat Grinders voices echoed in over her crystal.

“Look, Kip,” Oisin said over the crystal. “You should have just talked to her, instead of trying to bait her in with all this… ‘attempting to build sexual tension’ and the whole, enemies to lovers dynamic you wanted to forge.”

“But… that’s how it’s supposed to work,” Kipperlily whispered.

The Rat Grinders quieted down, no longer belittling her as they recognized a certain refrain. She could hear the tension over the crystal as they tried to decide who’d talk to her. Ultimately, it was Ivy who took the leap, deciding that the hard truth was the only thing that’d work on Kipperlily.

“You know damn well trying to force this shit doesn’t work. It didn’t work for us, it won’t work for Abernant. Just talk to her, try going about this normally for once.”

“Like my parents?” Kipperlily shot back, not hiding the boiling irritation in her gut. Kipperlily used to be able to count on Ivy to fire back, to meet her vitriol with a bladed tongue.

“Kip…” she said. Kipperlily heard it. The tone everyone kept speaking to her with.

“That poor girl…” “Porter misled her…” “That werewolf couldn’t help her…”

The Pity…

Kipperlily didn’t need people Pitying her, belittling her. She was a halfling, a kid, she could be forgiven.

Forgiven and forgotten.

She didn’t need these people looking at her scars and tsk tsking. She didn’t need them offering condolences, or… or HANDOUTS to the poor kid who was misled by the Big Bad Porter. SHE DID THIS! She! She…

She didn’t mean for it to go this far, she didn’t mean for her friends to get hurt… even if her relationship with Ivy, Oisin, and Ruben was rocky at times. But… But why treat her with this pity… and then cast her aside, because who’d remember the victim of the week? Everyone looked at her, and saw a little halfling, someone to be pitied, to be redeemed…

Everyone but Adaine.

Adaine, who remembered her, in all of her bitchiness, in all of her violence and cunning. Adaine, who didn’t just think of her as some… some halfling led astray… Who saw her as more than just some forgive and forget kid…

Ivy was still talking…

“Love? Are you-“

“FUCK YOU!!!” Kipperlily screamed. Her voice hoarse and congested with phlegm. She threw her crystal across the floor, watching it shatter apart. She pulled up her arms and screamed. She didn’t care if the others were still watching her, FUCK THEM! She could’ve been remembered as the Aguefort student who did the most harm, instead, she was forgotten like all the other victims.

She screamed and sobbed long after the sun had set, venting her frustrations to the void.

~~~~

Oisin dispelled the eye after Kipperlily threw the phone. He… he knew that Kipperlily didn’t like people watching when she had a meltdown. Oisin instead decided to look to his friends, hoping that they knew what to do, only to find expressions that were equally blank staring back at him.

Lucy broke the silence. “What’s the plan.”

Ruben, somehow, was the one with an idea. “I could call Buddy and see if he could go to Sylvaire so that Kipperlily’s excuse holds water.”

After a moment of stunned silence, the party rounded on Ruben, demanding an explanation. Ruben put his hands up in surrender. “Hey, it was back in August, right after we all got back. I thought things were a bit too busy to mention that we’d been dating.”

Unsurprisingly, this comment did not quell the questioning of Ruben’s now very interested party. One long explanation of how Buddy had felt lost, Ruben taught him to play music, Buddy explaining why he loved Bakarath so much, and a few nights of making ‘music’ later, the Rat Grinders stared at him, shocked and impressed.

“Fuck,” Ivy whispered. “First Mary Ann, now you… who ELSE is going to get a date before me?”

Lucy thought it wise not to mention her strange situation with Naradriel at that very moment.

“Ok,” Oisin said. “So Ruben calls Buddy, I’ll see what I can do about the dragons… Ivy, could you call your grandma, see if she can set something up with them that might look like a love note? I could pay the bill.”

Ivy shook her head. “Are we sure about making a confession FOR Kipperlily? Shouldn’t she be the one who decides when to tell Adaine?”

“That hasn’t exactly been going well,” Lucy pointed out.

Mary Ann glared at them. “Oisin, this is exactly what you were just lecturing Kipperlily about.”

Oisin began to sputter something about how dragons make declarations of love, but Mary Ann lobbed a cushion to shut him up.

“Cool, so let’s just call in Buddy and some dragons,” Ivy said. “And if we’re lucky, Kipperlily might open up to Adaine about what she’s really been doing. That or they fuck and move on with their lives. Do… do we tell the other Bad Kids?”

The rest of the Rat Grinders looked at each other and shook their heads no in unison. Sure, Gorgug, Kristen, and Fig would be down to try and get Kipperlily and Adaine to kiss, but they might try a bit too hard. If this was going to happen, it should be up to them, not because their meddling friends wanted to control their love lives.

With the plan formed, they began to pack. They had a few preparations to make before Sylvaire.

Chapter Text

Kipperlily didn’t mind her sessions with Jawbone, in fact, she enjoyed them. Most of the time. Jawbone was so kind and understanding, always willing to provide a helping hand. The only reason he didn’t tear apart Porter was because he’d stayed dead. Hell, the thrashing he’d given Jace after he was revived had quickly achieved legendary status in the school.

But… sometimes he was just too nice. Sure, Kipperlily didn’t deserve as much of the blame as Porter and Jace, but… she still chose this. She went ahead, carved the sigils into her own chest, and then helped kill all her friends… he… he shouldn’t be so nice to her.

But he was. And that hurt worse than Hell.

She’d know.

Jawbone came into the office, calmly shutting the door. He wasn’t surprised by Kipperlily already being there, he’d gotten fairly used to it after the first time she managed to appear within his office before he’d realized it. He was nice in that way, always accommodating students, however he could when they needed it.

‘But wasn’t it that kindness that made it so easy for you to continue to drag yourself deeper into a pit of envy?’ some rebellious and loathsome corner of her mind offered. ‘If he’d put his foot down, said there was something wrong with you, then you wouldn’t have killed your friends.’

Kipperlily ignored that part of her. She made her damn choice, and she wasn’t going to let anyone trick her into thinking she hadn’t. Whether or not Jawbone put his foot down, she still would’ve been acting out towards the Bad Kids. She would’ve been quieter, but it would still be there. Porter still would’ve wormed his way into her life, and begun whispering in her ear, offering all these fucking promises.

“Hey kiddo, how have you been holding up?” Jawbone asked.

‘Horribly, my insistence on being dramatic and important has ruined my chance at the girl I have a crush on ever hanging out with me.’

“I’ve been… better. I’m not in the limelight as much, so… fewer casseroles from our neighbors.”

“Mhm,” Jawbone hummed, staring at her. “And the other students?”

“They’ve forgotten.” ‘Of course they have, I was just another pawn. Because this town faces an apocalypse each year! How did I think mine could have been remembered?’

“You sure? Even Adaine?”

“She’s the only one whose been treating me right,” she muttered. Jawbone’s appalled look was her confirmation that he’d heard the words she meant for her head.

Ah well, as the old saying goes, in for a copper, in for a gold. “Mr. O’Shaughnessy, don’t bother fucking defending me. I know what I did. You know what I did. You don’t have to pretend to like me. I tried to kill your daughter, okay? I tried to kill her friends, I KILLED MY FRIENDS! I knew what I signed up for when I agreed to help Porter! Why-“ her voice began to crack as her emotions boiled over. “Why do you all want to help me?”

Jawbone opened his mouth. He was about to say something, something that would diffuse this whole situation, and make Kipperlily feel like a stupid, little kid. She wasn’t having it. She spun in her chair, knocking it to the floor. She burst out the door, slamming it shut hard enough to shake the dozens of dumb, little motivational posters Jawbone had hanging up.

She stormed off, charging down hallways, hoping someone was stupid enough to try and stop her. Unfortunately, no one was. She found her way to an abandoned classroom, and decided to just hunker down there, praying that she’d be left alone.

Her wish was, once again, not granted. The door was pulled opened, and someone came in to sit down beside her. She grit her teeth, and forced herself to push them away. “Fuck off,” she hissed.

“Fuck you,” someone said right back. Kipperlily cracked open her eyes, glaring up at Adaine. Adaine had planted herself in one of the desks, and pulled out a book to settle in and read.

“Why are you here?”

“Someone needs to keep an eye on you. We don’t want you killing any more cleric students,” Adaine answered. Kipperlily growled. Adaine was unimpressed. “Besides, we’re all headed to Sylvaire. The rest of the Rat Grinders have just been waiting for you to get out of your session with Jawbone.”

Kipperlily paused at that. What was their plan? Drag her along on a fool’s errand to Sylvaire, and then watch as she flounders and fumbles her way through every interaction with Adaine? Damnit.

“Hey, Droppermetal, are you okay?”

Kipperlily had had enough. Alright? All this back and forth, and she didn’t even know if Adaine felt the same way, hell, she didn’t even know if Adaine didn’t truly loathe her. She may as well follow Ivy’s advice. Maybe things would pan out if she just… made herself clear.

But that wouldn’t be good. Adaine had been consuming her thoughts for months now, she’d been obsessed. She couldn’t just… admit that she loved her. She needed to force her to be obsessed. And she figured she had a good way to go about that.

She marched over to the desk, noting Adaine’s subtle tensing, preparing for the fight she expected from Kipperlily. She hopped up onto the desk so that she was eye level with Adaine, even a little bit above her. From her new perch, she saw Adaine’s confused expression. Good.

Kipperlily reached down, grabbing the front of her jacket, before yanking her into a passionate kiss. As far as kisses go… Kipperlily couldn’t really rank it. The only other people she’d kissed were Oisin and Ruben, back when she was insistent on not being a lesbian. Well, Ivy’d also kissed her, but that was not a mutual affair, that was a drunk elf deciding that she looked cute, and not caring if that was how Kipperlily learned she was, in fact, gay.

This one… it was passionate in a way the others weren’t. For a moment, Kipperlily was worried that she’d be the one putting all the work into this, only for Adaine’s hands to come crawling up her back, holding her close.

Ultimately though, it was Kipperlily who pulled away, a mock glare on her face. “You are so annoying.”

With that declaration, Kipperlily hopped down, and made her way towards her party. She figured that was plenty clear in making her intentions known.

~~~~

Adaine had no clue what was going on in Kipperlily’s mind.

Did… did she just… kiss her? Had… she been… was she… WHAT!

Uh… ah… she… how was she supposed to respond to this?

Okay, let’s look at the facts. Kipperlily had been antagonizing her all year… or she’d been antagonizing Kipperlily… they’d been harassing each other. She approached her asking for help three days ago. She got upset after a session with Jawbone. They’d been sniping at each other, and then Kipperlily had walked up to her, and kissed her. Then she called her annoying, and left.

… okay, that didn’t help.

Should she… what was she supposed to do? Who could she ask for help?

The other Bad Kids were an absolute no go. Fig and Kristen would rip her to shreds, Gorgug… Gorgug might not be that bad, but Fabian? Riz? It would be a festival of mockery. Jawbone… she loved her dad, but how the hell does she explain, hey, the problem kid you always have to deal with just kissed me, and may have been attracted to me for a while. She was not doing that to him. The Rat Grinders… fuck that. She was not asking Kipperlily’s fucking friends for advice on how to go about dating her.

Who the fuck could Adaine ask about help with relationships that wouldn’t spill the beans to the Bad Kids and Rat Grinders?

…

Well, there was… one person… and she did have a good deal of experience with navigating toxic relationships.

Before she could think better of it, she punched Aelwyn’s number into her crystal. Adaine immediately began to fumble with the crystal, Aelwyn answered. “Well well well, now why is my dear sister calling me, right in the middle of her stalking a murderous halfling time?”

“I… I need some… advice…”

“Look, if you want me to tell you how exactly you’re meant to go about flirting-“

“What are you talking about?”

“Your whole thing with Kipperlily, I figured you’d eventually get in over your head. Look, Durinson Mithral has some good stargazing spots, and it’s pretty private so…”

“How did-“

“Little sister, I’ve explored this a fair bit more than you. I know what it looks like when two obviously gay, toxic lesbians have a crush on each other and should just fuck and get it over with,” Aelwyn said. Adaine could hear the fucking eyeroll. “Now, do you want my help to land your pretty little blonde, or do you wanna keep stalking her until you both go insane.”

Adaine sighed, collapsing to the floor. “I… what do I do?” she whispered.

“Alright, what’s happened?”

“She… just kissed me…”

There was a long moment of silence, before a full blown cackle began to roll off her sister. Adaine hid her face in her hands, as if it would hide her from Aelwyn’s mockery. “Well, do you want my advice? Find her, and kiss he back, twice as hard. You can’t let her take the upper hand in the relationship so quickly.”

“That’s… such bad advice…”

“Were you going to ask Jawbone? Or maybe Fig? Or… maybe the little dragon born you had a crush on?”

Adaine screamed an incomprehensible cry into her hands, praying to Cassandra, or Ankarna, or whatever god could help her. Aelwyn was so smugly silent. “I hate you…”

“Only because I’m right.”

Adaine disconnected, dropping her crystal to allow herself to scream once more, but… she needed to find her party. And the Rat Grinders.

And Kipperlily.

~~~~

Ruben knew something was up. He was pretty sure everyone knew something was up, but no one wanted to address it. He watched the center of the problem, calmly waiting in the center of the room, waiting for the teleportation circle to be freed up.

Kipperlily had walked into the room, a spring in her step, a ghost of a smile on her lips. Oisin had sent a Message spell, claiming that she’d gotten her kisses in. Of course, Oisin hadn’t seen it any more than the rest had, but it seemed like the clearest answer. Kipperlily reclined upon a chair, for once relaxed.

And then Adaine walked in, eliminating the atmosphere.

She was hesitant, carefully avoiding looking at Kipperlily, and sat down, an oddly stiff posture. Upon seeing her acting like that, Kipperlily paused, before shrinking away. Oh. Oh no.

The Bad Kids clearly recognized this too, shooting messages just as frantically as the Rat Grinders were. Ruben… Ruben wasn’t too terribly invested. Sure, he was dating someone, but his relationship experience was far less… tumultuous than everyone else’s.

He wasn’t too certain what he could be doing, but he needed to try and help. He pulled out his crystal, maybe there was a… love song? Did… could that work? He didn’t get the chance to experiment, as a familiar sight appeared on his crystal. He gestured to Lucy, a promise to be back shortly, and then sped off to a quiet hall.

“Hey Buddy,” he sighed.

“Well howdy, Ruby,” Buddy said. “I just felt that I should let you know, I’ve made it to Sylvaire. I’m meetin with Oisin’s family, and… they’re a bit nervous about whether or not they’ll all get murdered this time too. Now, I told them, an they know, we’ll prolly revive them again, but they ain’t fans of dying. Given my druthers, I’d like to avoid bein killed too.”

“Hey, Kristen just wants to chat with you, nothing special, Oisin’s family are probably in more danger.”

“Shh!”

Ruben paused. “Dude, did you put us on speaker?”

“NO! I… I mean of course not… but some of Oisin’s folks have good hearin.”

Ruben heaved a sigh. “Hey, Bud, think you can manage to… I dunno, come up with some kinda nonsense plan? Something to just keep Kipperlily busy?”

“Yah, we’ll all manage to find… somethin to distract em.”

“Thanks Buddy, I’m… sorry…”

“Don worry, we’ll-“

“IS OISIN THERE!?!?” A third voice shouted.

“Sorry, Oisin’s girlfriend happens to be here,” Buddy apologized. Ruben didn’t answer, struggling as a realization hit him.

“Ivy’s gonna be pissed.”

Ruben didn’t elaborate, shutting the crystal, and returning to the room, completely ignoring the awkwardness of Kipperlily and Adaine. As the Messages kept bouncing around, Ruben decided to toss his own into the mix.

‘Hey, did y’all know Oisin had a girlfriend?’ Ruben shot to the Rat Grinders, sans Kipperlily.

A moment. The Bad Kids still flung their Messages, but the Rat Grinders paused, each slowly rounding on Oisin. Oisin squirmed backwards, suddenly having a grand number of ideas as to how they could help Adaine and Kipperlily. The Rat Grinders weren’t listening, instead insisting on figuring out what Oisin’s girlfriend was like.

Oisin would never live that down.

And Ivy was pissed.

Chapter Text

Buddy was missing.

Alright, there could have been worse things that happened! They didn’t know that Oisín’s family had killed him! Ruben needed to calm down. It wasn’t like Oisín’s family was particularly murderous! …for dragons. Besides, they were young! They wouldn’t be able to easily kill Buddy…

Hopefully.

Regardless, at prompting from an increasingly panicked Ruben, Oisín cast Sending to send a message to Buddy. And he waited for a response. And waited… and waited. Okay, maybe Ruben was right to be worried. Buddy was receiving these Sending spells, but he wasn’t replying. After reassuring Ruben that Buddy wasn’t dead, just… unconscious? Somehow blocked from Sending? The options weren’t pretty. Of course, finding their matchmaking assistant was the second problem.

“So, any leads on Buddy?” Riz asked. Why did Kipperlily drag them along?!?

“We should probably split up,” Oisín declared. “Scan the area all at once, y’know?”

Riz nodded. “Alright, three groups. Four in each. Kipperlily, Ivy, Gorgug, and Fabian in one. You stay in town, you’ve all got a good relationship with the locals. Interrogate them, see if they’ve seen Buddy or any dragons.”

“You’ve got it, the Ball,” Fabian declared, beginning to move. Despite Kipperlily being upset at being ordered about by Riz, she decided that avoiding Adaine was worth the disappointment of following the order.

“Me, Adaine, Lucy, and Mary Ann will handle the east, scan the coast for any sort of sign of a gathering group,” Riz continued. The three of them nodded.

“Okay, Oisín, Ruben? You’ll be with Fig and Kristen, closer into Sylvaire. Buddy can’t be that far in, but he might be lurking over there.”

Oisín nodded, and ran through his list of spells. Maybe… he did have Modify Memory, but that might be a bit extreme. He followed the other three, constantly scanning his book for anything that could help him keep up the illusion. He was so engrossed that he didn’t realize that he’d let the surprisingly honest gnome dominate the conversation.

“Yeah, we’ve been trying to find Buddy for a while. He hasn’t been answering any of our Sending, or responding to crystal calls,” Ruben explained.

“That’s rough, but why’d you start looking for him anyhow?” Fig asked. “Like, you didn’t really know him.”

“Oh, yeah, it was just a coincidence,” Ruben said. “When we were dragging Kipperlily back from hell, I met him. I taught him some music, we started dating-“

“Dude!” Kristen cried. “You and Buddy are dating? Why’d you need our help finding him then?”

“Oh, yeah. Kip was-“

“RUBEN!” Oisín shouted, finally registering what the conversation had been about. He lunged forward, easily hoisting the gnome. Fig and Kristen glanced at each other, sharing some kind of strange glance. Kristen turned to look at Oisín, a truly terrifying expression on her face.

“So… is this about Snickerdoodle’s crush?”

Oisín began to hem and haw, fighting to avoid looking the two in the eye. Unfortunately, Fig had slunk around him, and snared his shoulder. She had a massive smile, a fanged and threatening thing, one that begged him to try and run. Kristen stepped in close on his other side, pinning him between the two. Ruben looked up from his perch in Oisín’s arms, one eyebrow raised as he silently asked Oisín what he planned to do.

Oisín quickly looked between the three, trying to decide which was the least likely path to lead to his own death. Locking eyes with Kristen, he sighed. At least Kristen dated a couple people.

“It’s… yeah, Kip’s got a crush on Adaine, but she failed to ask her out. So we needed to find Buddy and some dragons to give Kipperlily’s lie some meat,” Oisín explained. “And… we were kinda hoping that if we delayed long enough, Kip would admit it.”

“Oh…” Kristen said, finally backing off. She stepped away, hand in chin. She looked up, another devious grin. “Well, our next step’s clear, isn’t it?”

Oisín gulped. This. Was a bad idea.

~~~~

Ivy wasn’t happy…

Sure, she didn’t dislike her partners for this scan, but really? Fabian and Gorgug were less aggravating than the other Bad Kids, but Kipperlily was distracted, and asking Ivy thinly veiled questions about kissing. Ivy was miserable. Besides, it wasn’t like… huh, that’s odd.

Most of the people in this area… they were elves or gnomes… people who had very specific shoes… not sneakers. Who on earth…? Were there… talons? No…. No no no…. FUCK! WHERE WAS EVERYONE ELSE!

“Ivy?” Kipperlily said, finally catching up with her. “Something the matter?”

“NOPE!”

The other three did not believe her. Well, fine. She just needed to distract them. “Look, just keep quiet. I think some dragonborn are lurking around here.”

She gestured at the ground, and got all three of their attention. “Good. Kip, that building over there, sneak inside to give us a look without warning them. I’ll walk around it, and then, if anything’s up, we go in guns blazing.”

“How are there dragons here?” Kipperlily whispered. Ivy almost smacked her.

“Weren’t you the one who guided us here? Told us that Buddy and Dragons were here?” Fabian asked. Okay, this was fine, Ivy just needed to think up a lie…

“Yeah, but I thought that if there were dragons, we’d know immediately. Why are they laying low?”

Oh, right. Kipperlily was a good liar. Ivy just nodded along, before turning to leave. Kipperlily could pick up the pieces of her lies. Ivy wasn’t off the hook yet though. Her attempted escape was interrupted by Gorgug, who’d decided to follow her. Ivy watched him with a glare.

“What?”

“You’re not going to the building.”

Shit. Ivy wasn’t, Buddy’s footsteps led a little bit away, But she wasn’t gonna tell them that. Ivy glared, before turning and running. Unfortunately, Gorgug was able to keep up, following Ivy, and eventually tackling her to the ground. He loomed over her, and glared.

“Fine,” Ivy grumbled. “Look… Kip doesn’t know Buddy’s here… because we all invited him.”

Gorgug let up, backing away confused. Ivy sighed. In for a copper she supposed. “So… Kip’s had a crush on Adaine for… awhile? And she messed up asking her out. Badly. So badly that constructing an artificial quest was the only solution… so that’s how this happened.”

“Huh.” He was taking it quite well.

“So we had Ruben call up Buddy, and tried to make this whole show come to life. But… Buddy’s gone silent. We’re all kinda worried that he’s been… eaten? So I’ve been looking for him, and it seems like he went this way.”

“Then let’s go,” Gorgug declared, marching in the direction Ivy had been.

Ivy sputtered for a moment, but ultimately chose to follow. “Wait, you’re not going to question it at all?”

“No,” Gorgug said. “You’ve made it pretty clear. Besides, Kristen wants to talk to Buddy anyhow. This is a win win.”

Ivy praised her good fortune as they traced Buddy’s path. She cursed her fortune as she arrived at a strange building. One built around hot springs. Why. The Fuck. Was Buddy in a godsdamned spa? Ivy grumbled under her breath as she marched inside. Gorgug quietly followed, smartly not irking her anymore than she already was.

She marched inside, ignoring the spooked workers and barging through several rooms. Before long, she arrived at a steaming room, with three people inside. One was Buddy, dressed in just swimming trunks and very relaxed. The others were a dragonborn and a full blooded dragon, but Ivy didn’t care, she marched right up to Buddy and slapped him.

“Motherfucker!” she cried. “We’ve been trying to get to you for an hour! We’ve got a problem!”

“Wh-what?” Buddy had the gall to ask. “I… what are y’all doing here already?”

Ivy gawked at him, before making up her mind. She lunged forward, fingers wrapping around his throat. “You’re dead! WE FUCKING CALLED YOU! WE ARE TRYING TO HELP THAT STUPID BLONDE GET SOME, AND YOU NEARLY RUINED EVERYTHING BECAUSE YOU WANTED TO DO-“

Gorgug lifted her off of Buddy, hoisting her in the air as she continued to spit venom and curses. The other two in the room, a red dragonborn, and a green dragon, about the size of a horse, began to speak ups at that point.

“Ivy?” The dragonborn said. “So Oisín is here!”

Ivy spun on her, trying to recall where they’d met. It clicked, and Ivy was only more confused. “Lesean? Wait, you’re Oisín’s girlfriend? But I thought…”

“Yeah, whole disgraced thing means the arranged marriage was called off,” Lesean complained. “But, seeing as Oisín’s been more or less rejected by the rest of the clan, I figured that our wedding might be back on.”

“Oh.”

Gorgug cleared his throat, raising his hand. Lesean and the other, both recognized Gorgug, and both attempted to sprint out of the spa. Gorgug sighed, easily picking up Lesean and stepping on the green dragon’s tail. “Hey, nice to meet you. How’re you all? We’re here trying to get Kipperlily hitched.”

Lesean and the other, whose name was Raxor, paused, letting Gorgug explain the situation. Ivy sighed, grabbing Buddy’s hair and dragging him up. “Come on, let’s go. We need to get you out of here before Kipperlily realizes. How did you not realize anyone was here?”

“Well, I turned off my crystal and my Sending reception,” Buddy explained, throwing on more clothes as Ivy dragged him away. “I just-“

“Buddy, I’m gonna strangle you,” Ivy said. She checked outside, and sighed in relief seeing there wasn’t an overly eager halfling or a certain Fabian lurking nearby. “Right, Gorgug, can you get these three out of here, let anyone else you see know not to let Kip or the other Bad Kids in on the plan.”

Gorgug nodded, and the four wandered off, going who knows where. Hopefully things would pan out. Ivy turned, looking for the other two. She just needed to keep them all busy.

~~~~

Lucy didn’t know how to keep a secret. Even from… well, her party was decent at ferreting out secrets. Oisín and Ruben were the worst at that, but Lucy was awful at not spilling secrets. It wasn’t even a matter of being a chatterbox, she was just awful at hiding things. …it was how Kipperlily realized she had been scared in the first place…

All that to say, when faced with Investigator and LPRTF Agent Riz Gukgak, Lucy could not maintain their scam for very long. …It probably hadn’t lasted past the time it took the parties to teleport here. She could not hide any sort of thing from Riz. And if Adaine managed some sort of spell, oh, Lucy couldn’t keep anything hidden.

Thus, Lucy found herself trying to hide behind Mary Ann to avoid Adaine and Riz. There were a handful of obvious problems with this strategy, but Lucy did not have the time to figure out a more clever solution.

“Hey, I think I’ve found something,” Riz said. Lucy remained behind Mary Ann as Riz and Adaine went to investigate. “It looks like dragon feet. Mary Ann, can you help over here?”

Mary Ann wandered by, leaving Lucy alone. Unfortunately, Riz left Mary Ann and Adaine on their own, strolling on over, and studying Lucy over his glasses. He drummed his fingers on his bicep, meeting Lucy’s eyes. Lucy stepped backwards, not sure what he was doing.

“Mary Ann thinks we’re going for a walk around the site, checking for any divine presence,” Riz said, eyes locked on Lucy. She nodded slowly, and forced a smile.

“Alright. So? Let’s get started.”

Lucy spun on her heel, and began to make her way down the beach, letting Riz follow along. Riz clicked his tongue, clearly unimpressed. “That’s not what we’re doing. Why did Kipperlily drag us all here? There’s no signs of dragons, and no magic fuckery as far as I can see.”

“It’s… complicated,” Lucy mumbled, her steps slowing as she tried to devise some sort of excuse for her actions. “We… uh… well… Can you keep a secret?”

“Is Kipperlily trying to do something? Is she threatening you?” Riz asked. At his prompting, Lucy relaxed a bit, looking over the coast.

“No, no. If she was, then I’d probably bust out the mace and give her a clobbering. But, no. Kipperlily… has had an… obsession with Adaine. It’s really just a crush,” Lucy explained. "And she’s been such a mess over it, we’ve felt bad, so-“

“Oh, so… she’s like your guys’ Ragh?” Riz said, nodding along. “Used to be mostly antagonistic, and now you guys wanna help her? Okay. I can’t promise that Adaine would be interested in anything with Kipperlily, but I can try to help.”

“Oh thank Ruvina,” Lucy gasped, folding immediately. “We have been terrible at this.”

“I mean, we aren’t too good at this either,” Riz admitted, not realizing Lucy’s sudden returning panic. “We’re downright awful. But, something will happen once we get involved, I can promise you that!”

~~~~

Why was everyone acting so weird? Sure, Adaine wasn’t sure how to react to being kissed by Fuckerbitch, but they were in the middle of something. They didn’t have time to get into… all of that. But it seemed like her friends were too insistent on figuring out what happened between her and Tumblemunch. They’d never figure out what happened to Buddy if they focused on that!

And she really didn’t like when Fig tried to Message her, and get her to stick with Kipperlily for their investigation.

“Did Kipperlily bother trying to talk to you?” Mary Ann asked, breaking the silence. Adaine turned towards her, confused. Mary Ann leveled a look at her, unimpressed. “Did Kipperlily bother trying to talk to you?”

“Uh, no? We just… I was just antagonizing her, we-“

“Then why’d she come back so giddy?” Mary Ann asked. Adaine turned to focus on the beach. “Well?”

“Look, aren’t we finding Buddy?” Adaine snapped, glaring at Mary Ann. “Aren’t we supposed to be busy?!?”

“Yeah, but that was just a ruse,” Mary Ann said, before kneeling down to pluck a shell out of the sand. Adaine blinked, and opened her mouth, wordless confusion stumbling out. Mary Ann looked up at her, seeming a bit exasperated. “Ruben’s known where Buddy was for a while. Kipperlily just needed an excuse to talk to you.”

“Wha… Why didn’t he tell us?”

“No one asked.”

Adaine continued flapping her jaw, and groaned. “So, all of this, is because… Kipperlily can’t be bothered to stick around after kissing me?”

“Oh, she did kiss you?” Mary Ann asked, despite seeming more interested in the shell she had found. “And… she didn’t bother trying to talk? Of course…”

“Wait, no, don’t tell anyone!” Adaine panicked. Mary Ann looked up, finally frustrated.

“You two have been eyefucking each other for ages. Start. Talking. Now.”

“I….” Adaine didn’t know what she was trying to say. Luckily, she was spared from having too deal with any of this conversation as the ground exploded beneath her feet.