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Almost a whole year passed since the 78th class was forced to barricade themselves inside their high school, for the security that the wall’s of Hope's Peak Academy could provide. Almost two years of getting to know each other intimately.
That was true for everyone else, but Toko.
In truth there was only a select few she was able to talk to, considering all the steel barriers she built between her and the rest of the world.
Aoi was polite to her. Sakura was kind. Hifumi liked to headbutt with her about writing. And Makoto called her a friend, which secretly made her extremely happy.
She was happy with this arrangement. Toko was aware that her personality was grimmy and that she pushed everyone away with her damned silver tongue. It was okay, because in the end she had a secret.
A secret that everyone and their dog knew. But still, a secret.
She had a crush and was happy to be able to feel like this without being shamed for it.
After so many months of fear and hard-work, the headmaster called everyone with a wild proposition: To organize a small gathering in the gym to alleviate the mood a bit.
It was supposed to be a small party, with bite-sized delicacies and sodas. Everybody was expected to wear nice clothes and enjoy the night.
Toko didn't have nice clothes, or clean ones at that. So she complained. Loudly.
To no avail. Nothing changed. It was going to happen nevertheless.
So she bit her tongue and borrowed a spare dress from Sayaka, who was more than willing to help. Despite the pretty dress her face was a mess, but that was bound to remain the same. She showered and washed her hair thoroughly. And yet as she stood ready, she never felt quite so ugly.
In the gym there was music, some of her classmates danced and others flocked the catering table like vultures. Unsurprisingly, Toko wanted to leave and shut herself inside her room. She spotted Makoto leaning on the wall by the side of the dance floor. As she looked around to see what he was looking at, she gasped. Sayaka and Leon, dancing together, completely engrossed with one another. The fable tale of unrequited love. A tale that she unfortunately, always fell back to.
While she gathered the courage to comfort him Hiro entered the gym with an impossible large smile. He stopped and scanned the room, bee lining to her who was the farthest away from the headmaster.
“Mukuro and Junko snatched some good alcohol from the headmaster’s room. Go get some!” He whispered, pushing her towards the double door.
In her sour mood, she did that. Sneaked to the lockers outside the bathroom and drank enough to make her step sway. Which admittedly wasn't much. When she returned to the gym, Hiro told her that Junk had the brilliant idea of mixing vodka with the cranberry juice. Toko didn't laugh.
An hour passed, eventually the headmaster noticed Junko's “prank” and called her to his office. Hagakure was completely wasted, singing loudly and off-tune a popular pop idol song. Mondo was in a similar state, dancing along with Chihiro and a very concerned Taka. Mukuro, having escaped the headmaster's rage, sat beside Makoto, chatting.
Nothing out of the ordinary, Toko thought. However, while she was busy relearning how to keep her balance, Byakuya held her against his chest. His face was serious but his grasp was limp.
“What happened, Byakuya? Are you feeling alright?” She was nervous now, although excited at the same time.
His words slurred as he spoke, his eyes closed. She wasn't sure, but Toko suspected that he was sniffing her hair.
“I'm done for… I'm a destitute… The headmaster told me so yesterday. Told me that the last member of my family died. I lost everything. And yet… Do you still like me, Fukawa? Can you keep on liking someone without a single thing to his name? Not even his name…”
“Of course I do, I love you. I don't really care about your money.”
Too had barely gotten the last words out before Togami pulled her for a kiss. She squealed, her hands stopped mid-air and she froze completely, incapable of processing what was happening. Her cheeks boiled in shame as she heard the gaps and giggles of the others. She pushed him off.
“Are y-you drunk?” Despite shouting, she wasn't angry.
“Never took you for the shy type. Come on, do you want me or not? That's your one and only chance to take me.”
Not one to think too deep in moral dilemmas. She didn't. Think, that is. Undeterred by the ogling eyes surrounding her in a mix of shock and disbelief, Toko kissed Byakuya hard. The squelching sound echoing not only inside her head.
“That's absolutely inconceivable! You must stop this vulgar display immediately!” Taka bummed his boss through the gym. Which in turn made Fukawa’s blood rise.
“Ugh! S-shu up! No one complains about you BL love quarrel’ orgies in the sauna! Get a life!”
Ishimaru was completely floored. Mukuro exploded in hysterical laughter and Mondo was - luckily, - too drunk to defend his ukes, or whatever. Byakuya pulled her hand away from them, to the door.
“Let's dip before the headmaster returns.” She let herself be guided back to the dorms, enchanted by such promising words.
The stumbled in tense silence, passing down his door to hers. When questioned he shook his head, saying he didn't want to go to his room. She didn't prey for more.
In between kisses they staggered inside her room, clothes dropping to the floor. Her heart ached in pure excitement. Just in her red lingerie, she dropped over the bed, Byakuya hovering over her, shirtless. And also barely conscious, she noticed.
“Hey, you never answered my question. Did you drink? Are you drunk?” She managed to get the question out while he assaulted her mouth.
“Yes, who cares?” As he complained, Toko could feel herself sobering up a little.
“This is b-bad…” She almost cursed her own morality for being able to make sense in a moment like that. “I can't do this… Not with you like t-that.” She pushed his chest lightly, just enough to make him stop.
“You said… You said you wanted me…” He plopped over her chest. Not a dignified position, considering her legs locked behind him. Toko bit her lip, unsure. He could very well wake up next morning furious and never talk to or look at her ever again. Nevertheless, she preferred this option than to do something that could possibly hurt him.
“I do. I really do. It's painful for me to say this but… If you're still up for this but tomorrow morning we can revisit this topic…”
Byakuya mumbled something inaudible, still buried in her chest, falling asleep almost immediately. Toko relaxed her legs, observing his eyes trembling inside their eyelids. A sour taste flooded her mouth, and despite the dizziness she too fell asleep - in that weird and compromising position.
They weren't sure when they woke up. Still groggy, she holds him even closer and notices that his eyes are red and puffed.
“Good morning… How are you feeling?”
“I'm not sure it's morning yet. But I feel awful. I shouldn't have drunk a whole bottle of whiskey.” She stayed silent, glad to not have taken things further.
Regardless of his cranky mood, Byakuya made no effort to get out of her embrace.
“Do you remember what happened yesterday?” She asked.
His beautiful eyes dropped.
“Yes. I do remember. I suppose I am sorry for causing a scene and for putting you on the spot like that.” He dragged his palm over his face, noticing that he ended up sleeping with glasses on.
“Want to talk? You looked quite strained last night.” He sneered at her.
“What's there to talk about? I said everything there is to say. I'm back to the 99%. I lost my talent, lost my identity, lost my future, lost my pride… Myself… There's nothing left for me… No meaning, nothing. All there is left for me is to waste away in this hole.”
Toko kissed his cheek. “You may have lost all you owned but you're still Byakuya. You still have you. You're still you.”
“What's the worth in that?”
“Everything.” She breathed.
Time seemed to stop between the tense suspension of their gaze locked on one another. And everything that happened after that was a blur.
I love you…
I love you.
I need you right now
I need you all the time
Be mine
Be mine
As their bodies collapsed onto each other, their thoughts and feelings merged.
There was no Togami. There was no Byakuya. There was no Fukawa. There was no Toko.
There were only two concepts with a vague resemblance to people controlling their bodies. Throwing everything that they ever felt in their miserable lives in that sacred moment.
There wasn't room for association, deceit or hiding between the amalgamation of their flesh. What was never said reverberated inside the room between their shots, and laughter and cries and moans. What was never mourned oozed and strained the bed just like the sun deflowering the dawn.
Gripping. Ripping. Thrusting. Suffering. Liking. Crying. Swallowing. Fearing. Loving. Adoring.
Their said and unsaid feelings overflowing, ringing in their ears. Love spilling inside them.
They didn't dare to leave the bed, afraid of what could possibly mean to get up. So they stayed.
Why fear? Why love?
There was nothing in this world they haven't lost. So let it be that these two crawling creatures could only find themselves in a complete anthropophagy of their existences.
Such impossible blood could only be felt in the annihilation of their ego and being.
Absolute catharsis.