Archive of Our Own

Chapter Text

Exiting onto the sixth floor, a sense of weariness settles over Utahime like a heavy shroud. She brings her bandaged left hand to gently squeeze her right shoulder, applying sufficient pressure to ease the soreness. The dimly lit hallway reflects shadows that dance along the walls as Utahime strides her way down the corridor to her apartment unit

The sky bleeds crimson red by the time she reaches her apartment door. Utahime fumbles for the keys inside her bucket bag, the cool metal stark contrast to the warmth of her palm. She turns the lock and the door swings open with a wave of familiarity crashing over her. The comforting pine scent of her home mixed with a slight displaced yet known cursed energy greets her tired senses

Stepping inside, Utahime lets out a sigh of relief rather than an exhausted one. The intense tension of the day slowly melts away with every stroll she takes into the living room where someone is sitting in the breaking dusk, his head is thrown back over the sofa rest, eyes closed and Utahime almost hears him snoring

"Are you supposed to be here?", she pulls the strap of her bag over her head and hangs it to the hook on the wall. The living room basks in tangerine shade when Utahime flips the switch, purposely not turning on the white lamps, and she didn't have the time to put up Christmas lights this year

Gojo rouses from his light sleep, eyes fluttering open and he sees Utahime standing upside down. "I come to check on you", he doesn't hesitate to reply. Those clear blue eyes follow Utahime as she skips into the kitchen

Utahime cocks her brow. Grabbing a mug on the rack, she collects some water from the dispenser. "You could just call", she sips at the rim of the porcelain mug

"Hmm", Gojo nods in admission. He could do that, or at least he should try. It would save more time and plenty of his energy. But would that put his heart and mind at ease? Would it be enough to only listen to her restless voice without seeing her face? Would she pick up at all?

Gojo is worried about Utahime, that is why he really wants to see her. But he won't say it. Although it is only half truth and half desire, more than anything Gojo comes here because—

"Are you worried I might not make it?"

Gojo rolls his eyes sideways and catches Utahime staring back at him across the room, a smug grin splaying on her face

This woman... she can read me like a book

Perhaps that is why some things that tend to be a taboo for others, turn out casual for both of them. Like how he can freely trespass into her sanctuary in her absence, and how she casually wears a chain around her neck with his initial he had gifted for her 30th birthday

The way Gojo's face flashes an expression as if he just saw a ghost makes Utahime giggle

Gotcha!

She takes the mug and washes it at the sink. "I'm alive"

Gojo crosses his arms, a heavy groan comes from his chest. "Are you?"

Utahime purses her lips, shrugging. "You can see me. My cursed energy is flickering in the air"

"I can. It does"

Utahime gently dries her hands with the kitchen towel before she turns her back against the sink. "I'm telling you to go home, Satoru"

"Don't want", he shakes his head, and a sigh follows. "I miss you", he shamelessly admits. At last

Utahime can read Satoru like a book. Sometimes, riddles. Most of the time, like a poem. She is a poet, after all. But for all the time they are together, she wants to shut her brain off and lets him be as transparent as he is now, so she doesn't have to read, to translate, to second guess if she interpreted him wrongly

Gojo doesn't like to be honest in conveying his feelings into words. He hates the feeling of being seen by people, especially for his vulnerability. But last night was tremendously rough for both of them. He ended his friend-turn-enemy's life and she had to shoulder the remnants of his pathetic outrage

Being this true can't hurt a little bit

She was probably close to lose her life into the battle, bandages and bruises covering her are proofs, but she won't admit it, not to him. Utahime is tough like that, even with Satoru. She is always a poem beautifully carved he tries to read, but cannot understand because it's written in a language he doesn't speak

He wants to learn that language so he can understand what is written, so he can understand her, even though he will never talk in that language. Maybe that way, he can feel fulfilled and deserving to sit with her and ask about her day more freely

Utahime looks down at the cracks on her tiles. "Now you've seen me", she whispers under her breath before finally arranging her footsteps back to Gojo. She stands behind him who stills on the sofa as he shoves his head back, looking up at her. Utahime bends forward, pushing her hands over his shoulders. "Call it a day and go home. Stop thinking about it"

Gojo gazes down at Utahime's left hand resting on his stiff chest. "You're hurt", he rasps

"I'm fine", she smiles back

Gojo swallows a groan. "I'm not fine with you hurting", he mouths as he reaches out to hold her

Her forearm is wrapped in a messily bound bandage. Knuckles on both hands are purple, the corner of her lips is torn, and there is a small slit under her left eye that is left untreated

"Come here", Gojo tugs at her hurt hand. He clasps onto her as Utahime walks around the sofa to him and he pulls her down to make her sit on his lap, straddling his thighs. "Where else are you hurt?", he holds her face up, their first close eye contact since this encounter

"None that I'm aware of", she flat out lies

Gojo's other hand roams over her stomach and Utahime tries to not flinch when he squeezes her waist. She could feel it bruising after she was getting blown over in an explosion attack earlier. But she doesn't want to show him there is indeed another part of her that is hurt, so much pain under the layers of her miko because she knows what he will do next

"Shall we take a look together?", Gojo retreats his face, tipping his head aside. He may not understand the foreign language in Utahime's poem, but he can still read through her secrets

"Gojo", Utahime pushes his hand off her chapped body part. He drops it on her thigh instead. "We both dealt with all sorts of curses and people today. We don't have to deal with each other too"

"But I want to", Gojo says sadly. "I want to be here.. with you"

I know I know I know

Utahime leans closer like she means to steal his breath away. "But I'm afraid you will overdo yourself", she cups his face with both hands, thumbs caressing his cheek tenderly. "You are currently in no place to worry about anyone else but yourself"

Gojo looks to someplace else other than Utahime. "You... heard about what I did?", his voice falls into a whisper

Utahime scoffs. She didn't mean to. "The streets are talking. Higher-ups are fuming"

Lines of crinkle form on his forehead when Gojo frowns. "They talked to you?", looking at her again now

She doesn't admit or deny it. "They want to know where you hide his remains", though hiding it may appear as a strong accusation towards Gojo, Utahime merely delivers the proportion of her conservations with the higher-ups. "Shoko... wants to know more than anyone else", and with Shoko

Gojo opens his mouth to say something, but nothing comes out

"You don't have to say it. I understand. Shoko will understand too", or she can try explaining Gojo's circumstances to her. "I know you found him a good place"

Gojo forces the lump down his throat. "I left him somewhere he can watch the stars at night, somewhere he can see the sunrise first than any other place. He used to love them and that's all I know", he croaks

Utahime nods at him. "I'm sure he still loves them"

Gojo smiles bitterly. He holds her hands and drop them from his face. Her warmth leaves his cheeks and settles within the palms of his hands instead. "I can't tell you more"

"I know, I know", she nods. "It's fine"

"Really?"

"Yeah", she assures

"Those old hags... Will they keep pestering you if I don't tell?"

"Haa~ They definitely will", she sighs. "But I can handle that much. This songbird is a little too old to run errands now. If they need it, they should find new pets and tame them to follow orders", she doesn't feel an ounce of embarrassment in confessing that she is one of higher-ups' beagle

Because Gojo had found out about it before she realised she was one, long time ago

"This is all I can do for you"

Gojo props his head with one hand, thin smug forming through his lips. "Why are you still here, Utahime?"

"Hmm?", she slants slightly backwards, grinning funnily. "Because... this is my home. I live here", she jokes

A laugh escapes Gojo's lips. He smiles for the first time since she sees him today, and it looks sincere from his heart. "You know what I mean", he presses his palm on the small of her back, taking Utahime closer. "You could have walked away a long time ago. But you didn't"

"Hmm, why didn't I?", Utahime hisses through her teeth. "I don't really know"

"Don't you?"

She pauses to think. "At first, I thought you would finally stop asking about my interior if I let you into my house. But then you found where I hid my key. Then you just teleported inside without warning me first. And then.. I simply left the door open for you to come in"

"Why?", he curiously asks, lips coiling in amusement

"Because... you seemed to have nowhere to go", for once, Utahime thought Gojo would snap at her

"Are you saying I looked homeless?", he mused

Utahime cups her mouth, laughing her heart out contentedly. Gojo giggles with her

"And I was afraid if I let you be a little longer, you would fall apart", she adds. "So I tried.. to be the senpai you needed for once. Someone who guided you and not dictated you"

His lips twitch. "You were right, I got lost at one point"

"Of course you did. Geto was your one and only best friend. You believed in what he believed in. He was a magnet to your moral compass. Losing him is the greatest loss of your life", Utahime admits

Gojo rubs over the cuts on her knuckles. His mouth parts open briefly before words flow like a serene river. "Did you know, before you played that good senpai card, you saved my life with your words"

Utahime gives him a frown. "I did?", she splays one hand on her chest. "Save you? When?"

Gojo snorts. Of course she doesn't remember. But a wounded dog never forgets its saviour

"The day when I confronted Suguru, you were at the school all evening waiting for me. You asked Shoko what if I ended up going with him and never returned. And I came back to you curling up on the couch in boy's dorm. Yaga-sensei scolded me for acting recklessly, but you were the first one to hug me when I came back. You tried to hide it, but I could feel your tears wet my uniform", he chuckles in between. "And you said... 'Thank you'", he cannot say more

But Utahime manages to recall every single word that came from the deepest part of her heart. "Thank you... Thank you, Satoru. I waited for you all day, so thank you for coming back", was what exactly she said

Utahime sucks her teeth. "Did I really cry?", she blinks innocently at Gojo, reluctant to admit. "I don't think so", she climbs off from Gojo's lap, standing up before shuffling out of the living room

Gojo traces her movements with his eyes. "Where are you going?", he asks as Utahime takes her bucket bag and throws its strap over her shoulder. "Let's get something to eat. I'm starving", she scowls

A grin tugs at his lips. Gojo springs out of the sofa, stretching a little bit before walking up to Utahime

"Wear this"

It catches Gojo off guard when Utahime pulls out a thick, red scarf from her bag and wraps it around his neck. But he doesn't move a muscle until she finishes

"There you go", she cooes

"Still playing the good, caring senpai, huh?", Gojo puts on his glasses, smirking

"Hence I'm hoping you can return the favour", Utahime walks off and gets into her boots before him and they leave her humble apartment

The soft clicks of their shoes against the pavement break the stillness of the night as they walk side by side. Gojo counts the pebbles he sees with every light step across the quiet park, guided by their hunting instinct for night snacks

"What should we eat?", Utahime shoots him a question

"I feel like—"

"Hot soup can be tasty in cold weather like today", Utahime hugs herself. Fogs smoke out of her nose and mouth every time she breathes. "Let's have soup and dumplings too. Oh! What about xiao long bao?", she decides before Gojo can voice his opinion. "And also beers!", she cheers, throwing her arms over her head as her pace quickens

Gojo scoffs, shaking his head. "Hey, wait for me!", he scurries to catch up with her until they are finally next to each other again. Gojo glances down at Utahime's hand, gently swaying back and forth as she walks. He first focuses on her bandage, already loosens and dampened with her own blood. There must be quite a big wound under the roll of that cotton

He has long wanted to touch it, to sooth the pain and help it go away, if she ever let him. But he barely reaches for her inside his head, he can't bring himself to do it in real world

"Hey, look!", Utahime points her fingers sharp at the line of people standing in front of a pop-up canopy, several walks away from where they stand. "Let's get into the line before more people come", Utahime clings onto Gojo's arm and drags him with her purposely in a quick stomp

They make it into the line just in time before a bunch more people arrive. Potential customers lining up with them either come alone, in couple or a group of friends, and Utahime remains hooked onto Gojo

First, second until the fifth row gradually enter the stall, and it's finally their turn to get a seat and make order

"Do you frequent here?"

Utahime nods. "I take this path everyday from work", her eyes busy reading all the treats displayed on the menus. They have more than just dumplings. "The dumplings here are delicious", she adds. "Have you decided what to eat?"

"I will get whatever you order"

Utahime's brows twitch. "Are you sure?"

Gojo nods as he closes the menu booklet

"Okay", she raises her hand, calling for the waiter. "We will get yakisoba, spicy and non spicy, one set of xiao long bao, yakitori, okonomiyaki-"

TOK! TOK!

Gojo knocks against the table. "Can you finish them all?"

She just smirks before adding dango into the order. "For drinks, I'll have beer and plump juice for this guy"

One of Gojo's brows curves up. After the waiter leaves with their order only he dares to voice out. "This guy?", he mimics the way Utahime had said it. Crossing his arms, Gojo's head is slanted to the side. "Seriously, Utahime?", he gazes at her behind his glasses

Utahime rounds her eyes open. "What am I supposed to say?"

He slouches towards her to defend himself. "You literally have my initial around your neck", he points

Her fingers brush over the letter G settling between her collar bones. "It doesn't have anything to do with how I should be calling you when we are out in public"

Gojo blows a reluctant sigh, feeling defeated. "Fine! I'll take it for not addressing you properly back in high school"

Utahime's eyes twinkle with a smile. The dango she ordered for Gojo arrive just when their banter settles down. "Now we are 1-1", she holds the skewer out to him apologetically. "For you"

Gojo opens his mouth around the white, sweet dumpling. Utahime gets a taste of the second dango on the stick. It's really sweet, Gojo must love it. The rest of their foods are served on the table later

The whole time, Gojo only stares at Utahime scooping and munching on every plate in one breath

"What?", she frowns at him. "Am hung-gy (I'm hungry)"

"I'm not saying anything", shaking his head

Utahime chews on her noodles and swallows. "Eat your food.. or I'm finishing them too", she threatens

Little does she know, Gojo doesn't mind if she really means it

"Why did you order me non spicy one? It's almost tasteless", he complains, dropping his chopsticks next to his plate

"You can't handle spicy food. As a good, caring senpai, I can't let you upset your stomach"

Gojo tuts annoyingly. "What am I, six? It can't be that spicy"

Utahime slides her plate to Gojo's side. "You better not whine at me"

He purses his mouth, pulling her plate closer. Gojo pinches the noodles between two chopsticks and brings them into his mouth, slurping the whole length. The moment Gojo starts chewing, the pungent heat of pepper stings his tongue, burning his mouth

"Are you okay?", concerns arise in Utahime's voice

"Haa~", Gojo breathes out, both through nose and his mouth, ears turning red and he can almost feel the flame coming out of them. "Water", he chokes up

Utahime quickly pours him a glass

"Hot!", he spits

Utahime forgets they prepare hot water during winter. She grabs the bottled plum juice, twists its cap and pours the content into Gojo's glass. He chugs down the whole thing and asks for another shot

"Oh God, what was that? Arh!", he sticks out his hot tongue to be soothed by the cold winter air

"I warned you"

"How can you eat such a thing?"

Utahime flips her hair dramatically. "When I'm having a long day—", she holds to cough. "When I'm having a stressful, long day, spicy food helps"

"How exactly does it help?", Gojo scrunches his face

"Spicy food can trigger a happy hormone, you see?"

Gojo hisses. "Do I look happy to you?"

Utahime retrieves her plate and eats the same noodles as if she is savouring a normal cup of ramen. Gojo silently watches while fighting the spice demon inside him. From his observation, he can tell Utahime really enjoys spicy food. She does look happy too. Perhaps it works for certain someone only

Before they both know it, Gojo reaches his hand out to Utahime. She abruptly freezes, feeling Gojo's hand atop the crown of her head

"You must have a really long, stressful day today, Utahime-senpai"

Utahime slurps in the last strands of noodles on her plate. She sits up facing Gojo across from her

Yes, today was harsh on her again, physically and mentally, but tomorrow will probably turn out worse. Yes, she had one roughest mission yet. Yes, she cried on her way home earlier. Yes, she wanted to give up and quit, she had thought about it time and time again

But whenever she gets to sit with Gojo like this, talking about common stuff they go through, sharing tables during meals, Utahime thinks her days are not all bad, after all. For the longest time they have spent together, Utahime has also grown to depend on Gojo too, a lot, for the stability of her outer strength and inner peace

"I'm okay", a tender smile splashing on Utahime's face. She ought maybe she can hold out to another day, maybe week, perhaps year, if it means Gojo will still be around

Gojo waits until Utahime empties the last glass of beer while chewing on another yakitori and wrap it up for the night. They walk over to the counter to pay

"I'd like to pay for me and my boyfriend"

Gojo's head is turned to Utahime's direction as instant reaction

She pays the stall owner with cash and politely bow. "Let's go", she rolls out of the stall, leaving the flustered Gojo behind. "Satoru!"

The yell snaps at him. Gojo follows Utahime's out. His face muscles stiff, eyes rounding big, still flustered. "What did you do?"

Utahime scoffs. "You did me a favour by addressing me as your senpai earlier, I'm simply paying you back"

And Gojo doesn't know if Utahime is talking about she paying for their meals or when she referred him as her boyfriend to the stall owner just now

"I'm freezing", Utahime shudders, hugging herself. "Let's go", turning on her heels, Utahime takes the lead walking them back to her apartment

"Wait for me", Gojo once again takes massive steps to make sure he is not left too far behind. He wanders his eyes off, looking at the stores and shops twinkling with Christmas lights and decorations as they pass by them. "Can we stop by at the convenience store?", he suggests as soon as he sees one, just across the road

"Huh?", Utahime blinks at him. "Yeah, sure"

They cross to the opposite side and enter a twenty four-hour store. A coy grin curls across her face as Utahime toddles towards the back of the shop. Gojo takes his time to close the door, slowly turning his head from left to right to scan the condition inside an unfamiliar place. He spots the section he intended to find almost immediately

Grabbing a basket provided, he marches towards the fourth aisle on the left where they display all sorts of first-aid supplies. Gojo gets two rolls of bandages, plasters, iodine, a big tub of soothing cream, cotton balls, tweezers, and drops them all into the basket

Does he need more? Probably not

Gojo swings the basket as he walks up to make payment, placing them on the counter and the cashier scans the barcode one by one before totalling up everything when Utahime comes from God-knows-where, stashing at least five cans of beers next to his stuff

His brows knit together and his eyes roll sideways. "What are these?"

"Beers!", she innocently grins. "I'm out of canned beers at home. You can get these for me, right?", she doesn't bother to wait for an answer before turning to the cashier and says, "My husband will pay", and skips out of the store

Gojo's eyes tracks her as Utahime makes a grand exit

"That will be ¥3078.90"

Gojo swipes his card in the reader and gets his receipt. "Thank you", he grabs the packaging plastic and leaves with it. "Utahime!", he shouts at her from across the park

Utahime lurches at the mention of her name, turning around on her heels and sees Gojo jogging towards her

"Here, hold this", he asks her to hold the plastic. "Not your injured hand", Gojo shakes his head when Utahime gives out her left hand. "The other one"

Utahime purses her lips, feeling dictated. She folds her right palm around the plastic handles

Gojo carefully reaches out and holds onto her other hand. The wrapper is tacky and almost ripped off. He clicks his tongue, frowning at Utahime. "Who treated your wound?", he asks without wanting to hear her answer. "Can they do a better job? You could get an infection if it's not taken care of properly", Gojo criticises as he opens the old bandage

Utahime conceals her smile or Gojo might find out she absentmindedly grabbed a ragged cloth she had found on the floor and used it to stop her bleeding

There is a long wound cutting through half of her forearm with bruises on the sides. Gojo tuts, feeling annoyed at no one but himself. He should have done this sooner. Taking a deep breath to calm his nerves, Gojo yanks the plastic open and fetches the necessary supplies

He first inspected the wound, his touch gentle as he examines the cut thoroughly. Utahime winces slightly, but she feels comforted by Gojo's reassuring attention to her

"Seriously?", he gazes up at Utahime, finally talking to break the silence. "First this guy, then you upgraded me into your boyfriend.. now husband?", the corner of his lips curves up. "Why are you lying?"

He uses tweezers to avoid touching all the sterile supplies that can cause infection to her wound. He soaks a cotton ball in iodine solution and dabs it onto the wound with a precise, methodical movement

Utahime stifles her laugh as she tries to find her reason. "What do you think?", she raises one eyebrow. "We have seen each other for 10 years and you never asked me out"

Gojo has lost count of how many times Utahime has thrown a brick onto his head, stunning him with unexpected words coming out of that pretty mouth left and right, and he hopelessly failed to see them coming

"Did you.. wait?", he smears a small amount of soothing cream over the wound after that, relieving her pain

Utahime glares at him. The sting of the disinfectant is momentarily uncomfortable, but it goes away as soon as it gets to her

And Gojo chuckles at her response. "Why didn't you ask me out first?", he finishes it off by wrapping a new bandage around her wounded arm

Utahime puffs her cheeks. "Because it's attractive when the guy asks first"

Gojo coughs, clearing his throat. "Ah, my bad"

"Do you feel pressured?", she smugs. "Don't worry, it will never happen", shoving one hand in the air like it's nothing

"You really think it won't?", Gojo snorts. "Better think again, Utahime. You don't know what I might do when I want to"

"Wha-", Utahime gets shut up as fast as she opens her mouth

Gojo's hand travels up and settles at the base of her skull as he leans in and gives her a passionate kiss on the lips. It is regrettable that Utahime is indeed right. Why didn't he do this sooner? He was almost sorry for harboring such feelings for this woman, but she accepts his kiss without rejection

Utahime closes her eyes, feeling Gojo's mouth against her softly nibbling hers before he pulls away right after, trying to control his breath. She squeezes her mouth, tasting a plump accent on her tongue

"Hold this", she returns the plastic to Gojo. "Don't drop my beers", she warns before throwing her arms around his neck, pulling him down and this time, she is the one initiating their kiss

Her breath is thick with the smell of alcohol. Gojo devours her lips regardless, deliberately, before entwining his tongue with her. It is not a kiss that is aggressive despite years of mutual pinning, but Utahime still finds herself difficult to breathe through their opened mouths. The kiss is delicate and it lingers for a long time until they actually run out of air

"That's it, I'm taking you home"

"I agree about going home, but it this enough?"

Gojo seizes her waist, catching Utahime by surprise. "That's why we are teleporting", the background disappears behind them

Utahime feels her world turning upside down before her back hits the fluffy mattress. They are back in her house, her room, in her bed with Gojo hovering over her, beers and supplies are discarded to the floor along with their shoes before the room turns yellow when Gojo flicks the switch on the night lamp

It happens too fast because the next thing they know, he is inside her, and she is making love to him, all night long