Work Text:
Repeat what you know.
I can’t see anything. My name’s Eris. I don’t know how long I’ve been alone.
What you know, not what you don’t.
My name is Eris. It’s dark on the other side of the blindfold. I can’t hear anything past these headphones, so I don’t know if there’s anything to hear-
Right. What I know.
I know I’m alone. I can feel this blindfold, these headphones, my clothes on my skin. Nothing else. I might be floating. That’s something I think, not something I know, but the list was short and keeping spirits high is important in situations like this. That I do know.
That’s not a long enough list to repeat. My name and a whole list of nothing.
Then think.
Think. Very useful, voice in my head. Whose voice, I do not know, but I’m apparently not allowed to even think about not knowing things, so-
What do you think, if not know.
I think I might be floating. I think I’m talking to a voice in my head. I think-
I think you’re dead.
No? Nothing to say about that? Great. I think I’ve been here–wherever here is–for more than hours, days at least. I think it’s been dark and quiet the whole time. I think I woke up in the dark.
That’s good. That’s new.
Not remembering how I got here isn’t exactly going to help me get out, though, is it? Whoever you are, whoever’s voice my brain is playing on a loop, I think you’re dead. I think a dead person isn’t going to rescue me.
I know, voice in my head. You don’t have to tell me. It doesn’t matter if you’re coming to rescue me because I’m far better off rescuing myself. Easier said than done, isn’t it?
You know it’s important to keep spirits up.
Ha. You know what? I think you’re the voice that goes with the hands I think I feel sometimes on my skin. They’re never there, but I can feel them. I think the hands guiding mine when I stitch myself back together are yours.
I think I miss you.
I think my body misses you.
You should focus on getting free.
I think I’d rather focus on you.
I think if I think too hard about where I am all I’ll figure out is how little hope I have to get myself free. I don’t know where I am. I don’t know who brought me here, or why. I don’t know when I last ate, or how long I’ve been awake, or how many times I’ve been through this exact conversation with myself in my own head.
I know I miss you. I just don’t know if I’ve got anyone who misses me.
What do you think?
What does it matter? I could have been here for days. Either someone is coming for me or they aren’t, either they’ll be too late or they won’t. Nothing I think will change that.
Don’t you remember keeping spirits up?
Not like optimism is going to get me anywhere. Not now. I’m-
I’m too tired to have hope.
Then I’ll have to do it for you, won’t I?
Can’t exactly stop you. You’re my own brain. Ha. It’s like the opposite of depression. My brain is trying to keep me smiling despite the rest of everything around me.
You know the longer you keep hope, the longer the people out there who care about you have to find you here. The longer you keep hope, the longer you keep breathing, the longer you have to remember them, and remember that they would never leave you behind.
How can you know anyone’s coming when I don’t. You’re me, aren’t you? My not-memory of someone I forgot. I think you’re dead.
I’m alive here, aren’t I? You said it yourself, you don’t know if I’m alive or dead anywhere else.
Like a cat in a radioactive box.
You’re alive here, too. That’s something you know.
I guess. Can’t talk to yourself when you’re dead. I’d wager you can talk to dead people, though.
You aren’t sounding like yourself, Eris. Repeat what you know.
Why?
Repeat what you know.
What’s the point?
Please.
Fine. Fine. You’re right. I know why. Keeping spirits up or whatever. There you go. Things I know: the longer I hold hope the better. My name is Eris. I-
I-
It’s dark. My name is Eris, I can’t lose hope, and I can’t remember where I was before I was in the dark.
I might never have been in the light.
Eris.
I know. I know. Hold fast.
Ha. We’re both like cats in radioactive boxes. I guess… I know there’s no reason to assume we’re dead without evidence. It’s just-
I know it’s hard. You’re doing so well. Repeat what you know.
My name is Eris and I’m in the dark.
What else?
I-
Eris?
What else do you know?
It’s dark.
I-
I don’t-
It’s okay.
Is it?
Hold onto hope, Eris. You can do that. You can do that for me.
I can do that for you.
You can. Don’t worry about knowing. What do you think?
It’s dark, but I can hear you talking to me. I can feel your arms around my shoulders. I can feel the weight of your forehead against mine.
Okay.
Why do you sound upset?
I’m not upset. You’re doing great. What else?
Hm?
Tell me what else you know.
Oh. I know I’m Eris, and you’re important, and wherever we are it’s dark. I know I’m not alone. I know I need to hold onto-
I know I need to keep-
Hold-
What do you need to hold onto, Eris? What do I need you to hold onto for me?
You.
Eris?
I can hold you. Can I?
You can keep me as long as I can keep you.
Okay. That’s good.
Yeah. That’s good.
Eris?
Why do you sound upset?
I’m not upset, Eris. I’m you, remember? Why would you be upset with yourself?
But-
It’s okay. Hold on. Hold onto hope.
Okay. Hold onto hope. I won’t let go.
I know you won’t. You’re doing so well. You just have to keep going, Eris. For me. For the people out there who are looking for you.
For yourself.
I don’t-
Yes you do. Eris?
“” “” “”
Repeat what you know.
I can’t see. I can’t-
Where the fuck am I? How did I get here? How long?
Repeat what you know.
Okay. Yeah. Good idea, instinct. Voice in my head. Whatever.
I can’t see. Good starting point. I can’t hear anything either. There’s pressure on my ears. Headphones? A blindfold too, but it’s dark on the other side of it anyway. I’m-
I think I’m alone, but-
I thought-
I think I’m alone. The twins must be coming for me. Right? I could swear no one was coming, but I don’t know why? I think I’ve been here a few days at least. I don’t remember when I last ate. I don’t know-
I don’t-
Repeat what you know. Hold onto hope.
Right. Stop panicking, idiot. Repeat what I know.
My name is Eris. It’s dark. I think I’m alone.
That’s better. That’s good.
You sound relieved, oh great-and-powerful voice in my head. What’s that about?
Hold onto hope.
That is most important. Not really an answer, but hey. Who am I to tell my subconscious what to throw at me? Luckily I’m very good at hoping. And the twins will be coming for me, so it’s not just hope, is it? It’s trust. Well earned.
Repeat what you know.
Why wouldn’t I? Not much else to do here. It’s hard to keep sane, but hope and truth are the best way.
My name is Eris. It’s dark and quiet and I think I might be floating. I don’t know how long I’ve been here. I’m alone. I-
I don’t think I’ve been alone the whole time. I don’t really-
It’s all blurry. The twins are coming for me. If nothing changes, if I can’t get myself out of here, they’ll come for me.
All I’ve got to do is wait. Keep myself sane. Repeat what I know and hold onto hope.