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Kaz Brekker was covered in blood.
She’d seen him very badly injured before, and wished and prayed each and every time that it would be the last, and each time she was proved wrong.
And each and every time, her heart raced the same, her fists clenched, sickness and fear stirred in her stomach, and her mind clouded—wild, angry, stricken, ferocious.
Her ship was practically in a state of turmoil. It was a mess of her panicked crew, the words ‘Kaz’ and ‘Captain’ and ‘Dirtyhands’ consistently said, people running and moving through the piled crates and things they had to unload, and Inej was half-dragging her best friend through all of that, barking orders, sweat on her brow and distress and anguish driving her forward.
“Kaz,” Inej begged, urgent, “Stay with me. Don’t you dare leave me. I’ll get you somewhere safe. We’ll get you to Wylan and Jesper’s.”
“I’m not gonna die,” Kaz said, stumbling, “I won’t leave you, there’s still so much I have to assist you all with.”
“And there’s also so many other reasons to stay alive,” she gasped, “like living! Don’t you dare leave me.” She repeated.
“I won’t,” he repeated in reply, and then grimaced. “I can’t move properly, Inej. I tend to be able to function fine no matter the circumstances, it’s a priority. But I—“ he sucked in a breath as she pulled him towards the ramp that led off the boat. “Fuck, Inej.”
“Sorry,” she uttered, “but we have to keep going.” She turned to Specht, who was trying to help keep things in order. “Start unloading this,” she told him, “get as much as you can belowdecks. I’ll come back and help when I can.”
“No, you see to Kaz, Captain,” Specht replied hurriedly, “do whatever you have to do. The rest of us can sort the loads out.”
Inej felt a little relief in that, at least. She nodded hastily and continued on. Kaz drew in a sharp breath.
“Come on, you can hold up for a little longer,” Inej panted, “this city would fall without you.”
“Or thrive,” Kaz coughed.
Inej shook her head. “You’re like some wretched, thieving guardian angel.”
Kaz choked out a laugh. Then he started coughing, and blood spilled out of his mouth and over his gloved hands as he tried to stop it. Inej barely stopped herself from crying out. “I’m fine,” he started saying as soon as he could speak.
Inej wasn’t even sure how to answer that. She couldn’t believe he was still trying to convince her he was alright. It was so Kaz of him, and she felt a wave of anguished fondness washing over her like a relentless tide.
Eventually, she pulled him closer to her and said, “a blade has just made a mess of your side, your ribs are crushed, and you have a head injury and a refractured leg. And you’re bruised and bleeding everywhere. You’re not expected to be fine. You don’t have to be fine. Ever.”
“Captain’s word,” Kaz said, but the expression on his face was unreadable.
She hugged him close. “If you died, I’d kill you,” she told him. Kaz laughed, but it turned into a pained groan. Inej’s heart skipped a beat.
Now she could see a figure moving down the docks towards them. Jesper was running so fast that Inej could sense the urgency in his steps.
“Fuck,” Jesper shouted when he made it to them.
“It’s good to see you too, Jes,” Kaz managed a grin, his mouth bloody. Jesper was breathing heavily, a horrified expression on his face.
Inej was holding Kaz tightly, her arms around him in a viciously protective manner.
His limbs and hands were shaking even as he tried to apply pressure to the gaping wound in his side, unable to properly staunch the bleeding. But Inej wasn’t scared that she could be about to lose him in a matter of minutes.
One thing she knew for sure was that she was not going to let him die.
“Here,” Jesper reached out, offering to carry Kaz.
“I can walk, I’m not an infant,” Kaz managed to snap. He tried to steady himself for a moment, and nearly collapsed again, though Inej was there to catch him instantaneously.
He was growing more limp. Jesper didn’t hesitate to lift Kaz up into his arms. Kaz protested, even thrashing a little, but each movement seemed to cause more and more agony.
He eventually gave up and curled into Jesper, gripping Jesper’s arm tightly. He was deathly pale, shaking, and his brow glistened with sweat. Inej’s heart was in her mouth.
“Saints, Kaz,” she said, her voice finally cracking, pleading, “it’s going to be alright. I know it’s hard.”
“Inej,” He murmured, and Inej felt her heart squeeze. “Where’s my cane?” He then asked, furrowing his brow his voice sounding a bit faint now.
Inej turned back quickly, and made a desperate search. When she found the silver crows-head topped cane, she hurried back and showed it to Kaz. “We’ve got it, Kaz, we’ve got it, now come on, let’s get you out of here.”
Jesper and Inej tried to get Kaz as fast as humanly possible to the Van Eck Mansion.
The house was empty. Wylan was at a meeting with a Mr Van Joer from the Merchant Council—so they let themselves in hastily.
They lay Kaz down on the rug to see to his injuries before taking him somewhere more comfortable. His back arched a little and he gasped sharply as they set him down. He tried to curl in on himself a bit. Inej hated seeing him like this—it made her want to scream, to tear the slaver that had done this to him limb from limb.
But alas, she couldn’t (he was at the bottom of the sea).
“Get a kit,” Inej ordered. Jesper nodded, got up and hurried off.
Kaz was shaking more now, his face completely drained of colour, and he was biting his bottom lip so hard he was drawing blood. Inej, her vision blurred from tears she angrily wiped away, dropped down next to him.
Jesper came back with a kit and other necessary items. He soaked a cloth in water, and handed it to Inej, which she carefully and ever so gently pressed to the lacerated wound of his side. He made a small noise of pain as it pressed against him, before going quiet again.
Inej held the towel against him for a while, and when she brought it back, it was soaked with his blood. She soaked it in the bowl slowly, and the water turned scarlet.
Inej alternated between holding the wet towel on the wound and plunging it back into the bowl, cleaning it as swiftly as she could. The blood was everywhere, on Wylan’s rug. Inej couldn’t even bring herself to care.
Jesper hurriedly got the bottle of disinfectant and a rag from the kit—which Inej dabbed into the disinfectant. She gripped Kaz’s hand with one of hers, and with the other, pressed the rag to his wound. He hissed, and Inej grimaced, the took the cloth and cleaned around the wound as well.
His skin was clammy as she wrapped a gauze around the wound, keeping pressure on it with one hand while grabbing the sterile dressing off Jesper. He was clenching his jaw so tightly that she could hear his sharp teeth grinding. Inej clenched her fists, her fingernails digging into her palms.
“It would’ve just been easier to die at this point,” Kaz managed to grunt.
“Don’t talk like that,” Jesper said.
Kaz hissed again as Inej applied more disinfectant to the wound. “This is sweet, unfiltered hell,” he groaned.
“Just like you,” Inej smiled a little, feeling strange. She hadn’t found anything humourous for so long—not even Kaz’s tryhard attempts to lighten the mood and get her not to worry—that it was almost foreign.
Then, they heard the door, and Wylan taking off his coat and hat. Then he walked into the living room and gasped loudly. Inej and Jesper looked up, both their expressions distressed and exhausted. Inej felt a little sympathetic for the young merch for having to come home to this scenario playing out in his living room.
“Wylan,” Kaz exclaimed over-enthusiastically. “How was the meeting?” He started coughing again, and fresh red blood made its way to the surface of his mouth.
Jesper grabbed a handkerchief quickly and Kaz nodded his thanks, putting it to his mouth and wiping away as much as he could.
“Ghezen, Kaz,” Wylan cried, rushing over.
“He saved my life,” Inej said quietly.
Wylan dropped to his knees beside Jesper. “Ghezen,” he repeated, “that’s the worst stab wound I’ve ever seen,” he added, staring down at Kaz in horror.
“I’m not an exhibit,” Kaz snapped, to which both Wylan and Jesper jumped back and have him space. “Thankyou. However, Wylan, you’re better with blood than Jesper is. Which surprises me.”
Inej jumped up and went over to the sink in the lavish Van Eck kitchen to refill the bowl of water, as Jesper gaped at Kaz.
“I’ve seen so much more blood then Wylan has,” he exclaimed. “No offense, Wylan, my love. I even helped patch you up, Kaz!”
“I didn’t say you weren’t good with blood,” Kaz pointed out, “I just said Wylan was better.”
“Please,” Wylan said, his brows furrowed in concern, “be serious. You could have died, Kaz!”
“That’s hardly a serious matter.”
“Oh, you’re joking. You must be joking!”
Kaz exchanged a glance with Inej, who returned with the bowl of clean water. She didn’t meet his eyes. You’d better be joking, she thought. She soaked another towel in the water. “For the head wound,” she told him. His hands were shaking and he looked slightly delirious. “Can I do it?”
Kaz nodded.
“Oh Kaz, you’re so hurt,” Wylan put his face in his hands, squashing his gold-red curls in anxiety. “What exactly happened, Inej?”
“I’ve suffered worse.” Kaz tilted his head and winced as Inej cleaned the head wound, applying a fair amount of pressure.
“How is he still conscious?” Jesper asked.
“It would have been me,” Inej said finally, looking only at Kaz. “The blade was meant for me.”
“No, it wasn’t,” Kaz drew in a shuddering breath.
“It would have been me,” she said again, trying not to let her voice fail her. She couldn’t stop the overwhelming guilt and regret from washing over her. She hadn’t been able to do anything to protect him after he saved her from getting the injuries he did.
“And it wasn’t, which is a good thing,” Kaz insisted. “Don’t you dare, for one second, think that it’s regrettable that this happened. It was a success.”
“You would’ve been stabbed?” Wylan let out a long breath. Then he swallowed, and said, “it’s not better that either of you were injured, Kaz.”
“It is, in fact.”
“Kaz, stop,” Inej huffed. “Of course I would’ve preferred it to be me—“
“I don’t care what you would’ve preferred, Inej, this’s ridiculous,” Kaz stopped to breathe again, his breaths now sawing, clearly very painful.
“Just stop talking,” Jesper told him, “you’re making the damage worse.”
“By talking—“
Jesper held up a hand and silenced him. Kaz’s mouth stayed opened for a moment, as if both offended and also surprised, before he clamped it shut and huffed, obeying.
“Thankyou,” Jesper said.
Kaz glared.
“Clearly it would not better whether one of you was stabbed or the other. Kaz, you are gravely inured and that is not a success on any part. If Inej were stabbed, it would be the exact same. The value of your lives is equal.” Jesper finished.
Inej and Kaz stared at him, Kaz’s expression unreadable, while Inej felt her heart flood with sudden fondness and validation.
“Thankyou, Jes,” she said quietly, before turning away.
“You don’t believe it? You don’t believe your lives are equally important?” Wylan breathed. Then he shook his head and sighed. “Of course you don’t. You’re just both madly in love,” he exchanged a look with Jesper.
Kaz bit his lip, and didn’t say anything. Inej blinked back tears. Don’t you dare cry, she told herself, focusing on what she was doing, cleaning Kaz’s wound. The blood had soaked his black hair. All Inej could feel was intense sadness and pain and love and she was so overwhelmed for a moment she didn’t think she could even move.
Then, Kaz opened his mouth to speak. “Just a warning,” he said, flashing them a performer’s grin that was apparently meant to reassure them, “it’s all fine, but I think I might be losing consciousness.”
It pretty much felt like his flesh was lacerated.
Breathing was hell, his head was pounding, and his crushed ribs and refracted leg sent shooting pain every time he moved.
He’d been in pain before, that wasn’t the problem. But the weakness that had come with it was unbearable. He was a mess, shaking uncontrollably, his vision blurred and dark. All he could taste was blood and copper, and each and every one of his muscles was tight and strained.
At times he felt dizzy, at others he was unable to think of anything else but the pain, and had no way to stop it—flashes of pain making him see double, agony searing through his body.
But the worst of it by far was the touch.
His skin was crawling, his mind full of death and the horrors of the Reapers Barge. Kaz’s body felt like it was burning from how many bare hands had touched his skin.
It ached. He could still feel their hands lingering on him, tending to the wound in his side, each brush of skin sending waves of sickness and nausea through him.
He’d expected to feel the same when Jesper was carrying him to the mansion, but he had been able to hear Jesper’s quick heartbeat when he was pressed against his chest, and that had been almost relieving.
Most of the time these days, touch was easier with Inej, after they’d practiced. He trusted her, and when he was with her, they were both safe. But the amount of pain he was in right now made him doubt the progress he had made with her.
The world tilted, and could see flashes, pieces—Inej, Jesper, Jordie, the alley through which Inej and Jesper had dragged him, the churning sea, blood, and fields and fields of reeds. It felt like some kind of sick dream.
He didn’t blame them for touching him. They’d done it to save him, which was a selfless yet sentimental action, and it wasn’t their fault. However, he wasn’t sure he would be able to bear anymore. It felt like it was burning.
Once he’d fallen unconscious, they had moved him to the guest bedroom in the mansion that Wylan and Jesper had told Kaz was ‘his’ (he refused to accept that, and instead just called it another guest bedroom). The bed was soft and expensive and nothing like Kaz’s at the Slat.
Not that he could even appreciate it very well, what with all the dizziness and agony. He hated that he’d lost consciousness. He’d fought it, but it had enveloped him like a tide, forcing his body into stupor.
As he awoke, he saw a figure siting a little while away from him on the bed. He instantly sensed it was Inej, though his vision was dark.
“Kaz?” She said, her voice comforting and soothing. It was magnetic. She was keeping her distance and he was grateful for that. “Kaz,” she repeated, seeing he was in fact conscious. “Oh, thank the Saints.”
“You thought I was dead?”
“No, it’s just…I couldn’t check for a pulse. I didn’t touch you and I didn’t let anyone else touch you while you were unconscious, after we had moved you here.”
Kaz felt a rush of gratitude and relief. “Oh. Alright.” To keep up the very plausible act, he offered her a smile. “Well, here I am, alive. Unfortunately for the world.”
“I’m going to pretend you didn’t say that,” Inej said. Kaz smiled, shutting his eyes again. He sensed Inej stiffen. “I’m conscious. I’m just closing my eyes.” He could feel every inch of body radiating with pain. His head was throbbing. Jordie was laughing.
“You can’t keep them open?” Her voice was full of fear, and Kaz hated it.
“I’m not going to die,” he assured her.
“Please, Kaz.”
He opened them, realised what a terrible idea it was, and squeezed them shut again. “It hurts.”
“I know,” she said, tearfully. “I’m sorry, Kaz.”
Kaz forced his eyes open. “Why are you crying? Don’t cry. I know it’s terrible that I’m alive, but—“
Inej choked out a laugh. Kaz silently rejoiced.
“Shut up,” she said, cry-laughing now.
He started to close his eyes again, before cursing.
“Alright, shut your eyes, I’ll just keep watching to see if you’re still breathing.” Inej said softly. “I know it’s hard.”
“Don’t even think about wasting your time on me in that ridiculous way. I might even be able to get up soon.”
“Don’t you even think about getting up,” Inej huffed. “Surely you know impossible that is right now.”
Kaz went to answer, but it hurt to speak, so he just shut his mouth again and closed his eyes. “The job was a success,” he managed to murmur after a moment.
“No, Kaz, the job was not a success. You were gravely injured.”
“Everyone aboard the ship was rescued and returned to safety and not a single slaver was left able to escape,” Kaz said, stunned, “how is that not a success?”
“Because you nearly died!”
“Why is everyone going on about this so much?” He closed his eyes tighter.
“Kaz—“
He couldn’t hear the rest of what she was saying.
“See? There’s no way you would be able to get up.” Was all he managed to make out from her words.
The world slanted once more and all he could see was darkness.
His last comprehensible thought was, damnit, you were right, as usual.
“I don’t know what to do,” Wylan admitted.
Jesper looked at him from where he was leaning on the bench in the middle of the kitchen. Wylan was boiling water on the stove to make them all coffee, but now he was pacing, somehow in time to the fast beating of Jesper’s heart.
“Me neither,” Jesper replied.
“He could have bled out.”
“Yes, he could have, but he didn’t.” Jesper tried to comfort Wylan, though he wasn’t sure how well it was working, he was so worried himself. All he could think about was Kaz, bleeding, breathing heavily, and shaking, and his own heart clammering.
“Inej won’t leave his side. He keeps losing consciousness.” Wylan exhaled for a long moment.
“He’ll be alright,” Jesper knew that. The one thing he could rely on was that Kaz wasn’t just going to stop fighting. He would survive. He had to. Jesper didn’t know what he would do without him.
Wylan looked at him, and Jesper realised he’d finally said something comforting enough. Apparently it was reassuring to both of them equally to remember what a fighter Kaz truly was.
“The least we can do is supply her with caffeine,” Jesper pointed out.
Wylan nodded, then allowed himself to smile. Jesper loved that smile—the one he wore when he was trying to find something good in a quite frankly horrible situation.
Wylan turned to take the water off the stove, and started making the coffee.
The shadowy afternoon faded into a dark evening. Inej didn’t leave Kaz’s side. He drifted in and out of consciousness. She paid close attention to his breathing.
Wylan and Jesper offered to take turns watching him in case he decided to die or something, but she refused. She didn’t want to leave him. If a thousand men tried to remove her from his side, she still wouldn’t go.
She did accept coffee, and they came in and out to talk to her, and to see how Kaz was.
Jesper could tell that the worry was gnawing at her. It was unbearable, seeing him lying there like that. He was so pale and slicked with sweat, his clothes soaked in blood. Jesper wondered if he was dreaming.
Finally, Wylan and Inej managed to coax Inej out for a few minutes to eat something, She basically ate it outside the door before returning into the room, where they heard her gasp.
“What is it?” Jesper followed her into the room hurriedly, to which he found his question answered itself.
“He’s gone.” Inej spat. “Completely disappeared.”
Wylan let out a long breath, closing his eyes.
“That bastard,” Jesper sighed. It didn’t really surprise him, and it didn’t seem to surprise Wylan either. It especially didn’t surprise Inej. She just looked pissed.
“Where could he possibly have gone?” Wylan exclaimed. “We were right there!”
“Escape artist,” was all Inej said.
“He probably just went back to the Slat,” Jesper said.
Inej’s dark brows furrowed in both annoyance, and concern. “Should we just look for a trail of blood, and follow that?”
Wylan scrubbed his hands over his face. “I can’t believe him.”
“Really? I think it’s actually pretty predictable,” Jesper replied, as he grabbed his coat.
When they reached the Slat, Anika didn’t hesitate to direct them.
“He’s in his office,” she said, flicking her blonde hair out of her face and studying the three of them, in a rush, panting, and with stricken expressions on their faces.
“Thanks, Anika,” Inej replied.
“Appreciate it,” Jesper added.
“It’s good to see you and Kaz back, Inej,” Pim said as they all rushed past.
“Good to see you too,” Inej nodded to him.
“Though I’m scared to find out what put Kaz in that state, blood soaking through his clothes—“
Inej made a little strangled noise.
“I expect tale-sharing later!” Anika called after them.
“You won’t be disappointed,” Jesper called back.
Kaz was sitting at his desk in his new office, the one that had used to belong to Per Haskell, when Jesper burst into the room.
The office was basically empty now, except for the things Kaz needed to have in there to work. He still lived up in the attic though.
Jesper came to a stop quickly before he crashed into the desk.
“Careful. You wouldn’t want to get injured.” Kaz said with a grin, slightly concerned about how his fate was about to be affected.
“Kaz, you motherfucker,” Jesper exhaled. His dark skin was coated in a light sheen of sweat. “Where did you go?”
“I went to my office?”
“You’re insane,” Wylan said, coming into the room behind Jesper.
Kaz offered a smile at him as well. “And this comes as a shock to you why?”
“Not a shock,” Inej said from the window, “just very frustrating.”
Kaz laughed, which was fairly painful. “I am a very frustrating person.” He’d sensed her presence there in the window shortly after Jesper had burst in, but had waited for her to speak to acknowledge her. “I have to admit that this feels a little like an ambush.”
“Are you seriously getting back to work?” Wylan asked, sounding exasperated but also a good amount of shocked.
“What’s so terrible about that? I’m a busy man.”
“You were nearly a dead man recently, and you’re already back in this fucking office doing fucking work,” Jesper cursed.
“Language.”
“Motherfucker,” Jesper turned away in momentary disbelief.
“I’ve never met someone as irresponsible as you when it comes to your own injuries,” Inej said, and Kaz sensed quite a good dose of anger in her voice.
“This is getting personal.”
“It is personal!”
“I dont see how this personally affects you.” Kaz had known it would anger her as he said it.
“Jesper’s right,” she huffed, “you really are a motherfucker.”
“Right?” Jesper agreed.
“Well, I’m not going back to the mansion. The walls were suffocating me,” Kaz waved off the accusations. “And at least here I’ll die while making money. I need to get back to work.”
“You’re never not working,” Wylan breathed.
“And you were just at sea with me, taking down slavers,” Inej hissed, “where you saved my life and got these life threatening injuries in the first place!”
“Even more reason to get back to work, seeing as I’ve been away for so long.” Kaz pointed out. “That seems more reasonable, doesn’t it?”
“No, not at all, especially the part about the life threatening injuries.”
“Insulting.”
Inej inhaled in disbelief.
“Kaz,” Jesper stepped forward and placed his hands on Kaz’s desk. He leant on it, looking at Kaz, who leant back slightly in momentary unease, “if you die, you will be dead.”
“I am alive, aren’t I? Do you all know something I don’t? Am I dead?” Kaz laughed.
“And if you died, we would kill you.” Jesper continued, unfazed by Kaz’s laughing at his own jokes. Kaz sighed, and looked back into Jesper’s captivating eyes, giving up protests and listening intently. “You should be terrified of our unmerciful wrath.”
“I kind of am.” Kaz admitted.
“Would it be that hard to let your body rest for the necessary amount of time so that you can properly heal?” Jesper asked.
“It would be pretty hard.” Kaz shrugged.
“I’m worried about you.”
“Why?”
“Because I love you.” Jesper blurted.
The world tilted like it did when Kaz was going to lose consciousness, though this time
it was more attributed to the fact that for a second it wasn’t Jesper that Kaz was looking at, but Jordie. His older brother was telling him he loved him in a moment not unlike this one. His eyes had looked similar, full of unmistakeable love.
Kaz stared at him, before pushing his chair back to create some much needed distance from Jesper’s dark, furrowed brows and desperate expression.
“What do you want from me, Jes?” Kaz asked, tired.
“To let your injuries heal. Surely you’re in agony.”
“That’s it. Pure, unfiltered agony. What about it?”
“You don’t deserve it!” Jesper said fiercely.
Wylan and Inej exchanged glances.
“Kaz,” Inej said, finally, “I know it must be difficult to accept that we so very randomly happen to care about you for reasons unbenknowst to us,”
“It is difficult to accept,”
“but we are not going to let you do this to yourself.”
“So what do you want me to do?”
Inej had changed the bandages wrapped around his waist, seeing as he had already bled through all of them. He was on the couch in Wylan and Jesper’s sitting room and they had made him coffee, seeing as though he had managed to convince them.
It was hot, and Kaz was grateful, because even though he very nearly passed out every few moments because of the pain, it was a slight comfort.
Inej’s hand resting softly on his leg also proved to be a comfort. She moved her thumb backwards and forwards every now and then, making him hold back a shiver.
Her brown eyes were focused on him, and he could do nothing to break her focus.
“Thankyou for coming back,” Wylan said, sitting down opposite Kaz on a chair. “I really do appreciate you letting us help you.”
It’s a little addictive, Kaz thought, concerned at how much he currently longed for unnecessary comfort. He never cared for those things or even had any interest in them. He had lost a lot of blood, which was probably affecting his usual critical thinking. “You did give me coffee. So I suppose I’ll stay.”
Wylan smiled, and Kaz purposefully ignored the fondness in it.
Inej moved her hand again absentmindedly, slightly further up his leg, and Kaz drank more of the coffee to distract himself.
Jesper was making more coffee for them, which Kaz appreciated. He had directly avoided Jesper since they’d talked in his office, which Jesper was catching onto, but there wasn’t much Kaz could do. He was forcing himself to act as he usually did, unfazeable and unbothered, but he didn’t feel right. Jesper was caring by nature, so it didn’t come as a shock, but that was exactly how his brother had been.
Since when had Kaz ever backed away from a challenge? Not once his entire life. But from this he was fleeing.
However, as Jesper came and sat next to Kaz on the couch, with a good distance between them, and bent so that Kaz had to look right at him, his expression said, nothing is ever going to change how much I care about you, and Kaz’s heart was burning.
“I just want you to be alright,” was all Jesper said, and Kaz felt his skin crawling.
Kaz was made to be alone, but when he looked at him and he looked at Inej and he looked at Wylan, he believed he was made to love everything about them. He hadn’t noticed or even started to allow himself to notice that they felt the exact same way.
“Well,” Kaz finally said, “I can make myself useful when I want to be.”
Jesper sighed, but it wasn’t annoyed. Kaz liked loving him. He didn’t as much like him loving Kaz back. It was unfamiliar and wrong. He wanted to get used to it, but that was too dangerous.
And then Inej whispered, so quiet that no one else but Kaz could hear,
“Kaz, I love you.”
In that moment he was broken, loved and utterly alive.