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Peter rarely went to parties, he could count the number of parties that he has attended since he turned eleven on one hand. He didn't like parties, he never has. Ever since he went to a party as a six year old and got cake thrown at him and got left out of all of the games, he decided that he hated parties. Although the parties now were different, the fruit juice was replaced with beer, cake replaced with a slice of 'sobering toast', the clean pop songs replaced with music that gave him headaches, Peter still hated parties.
It wasn't like he was invited to many, he only really spoke to Ned and their idea of a celebratory evening was watching a film they had watched thousands of times and eating pizza takeout. But he had been to a couple and he knew they were stupid and really only an excuse for kids to get drunk, which Peter didn't really care about - it would take him five times the amount that had everyone else throwing up to even get tipsy. So he hated parties because they were loud and boring and a waste of time.
There was also the other little issue. The anxiety. Ever since that fateful six year old's party, Peter had a panic attack every single time he came home from a party. Some days he had thought that he had escaped the curse but it was always there, it just would wait and weigh him down until he broke. So it's fair to say that Peter and parties were not a match made in heaven. After the last one he had vowed to never step foot in a party again.
Then Tony texted.
'Hey kid, all good? I'm having a party kind of thing at the tower on Friday, won't be fun without you, can you come?'
'Uh, what is it for?'
'Do I look like the man who needs a reason to host a party? What does it matter anyway? Are you busy?'
'I'll be there'
'Good!'
Peter was pretty sure that all of his insides had just fallen to his feet, the contents of his insides then ended up in the bin in his room. He had no clue why he had so much dread and fear inside of him. Everyone goes to parties, most people also have fun at parties, so why did he always feel this way? He could have made up a lie - told Tony that he was busy, but he couldn't do that he was an absolutely terrible liar. Tony realised that after two hours of knowing the boy.
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Peter had taken about fifty deep breaths and eight of those strange anti-anxiety meds that Tony gave him after he nearly passed out in a busy mall. He was feeling okay, it was all okay, he didn't need to stay long. All he needed to do was find a comfy seat and claim it as his and sip on a drink and people watch, he could do that. He had a plan, it was a good plan that would mean he could leave after an hour or two without anyone knowing. He just needed to be discrete.
'PETE!!!!' Tony already looked drunk, Peter already felt a bit sick. No he was fine. As he stepped out of the elevator it hit him, there was a lot of people here maybe a couple hundred. Why he thought it would be a relatively low level party he did not know. This was Tony he was talking about. He was just going to have to take a step back and fall back into the elevator and go home. But there was a certain billionaire embracing him in a hug and suddenly that was no longer an option.
Peter hated hugs, he hated any real form of physical affection. Tony knew that, the kid had gone rigid any time he was hugged, the ducked away from a hand going to pat his head, he scooted away if someone sat too close to him. And watching the kid be greeted and embraced by the avengers was an extremely painful watch, he didn't look like he had taken a breath in five minutes. 'Hey kid, you okay?'
'Oh yeah, hi Mister Stark, yeah I'm good how are you.' The enthusiasm of his words didn't manage to meet his face or tone. Tony begun to worry about the overly polite kid, he often did things he didn't like because he had an issue saying no, this was clearly another example of that. He raised an eyebrow to Peter which he didn't see as the floor had just become the most interesting thing to him. The only person who had really noticed that the usually bubbly chatterbox of a kid was clearly off, was Steve; so Tony shot him a look after him for me glance. The super soldier nodded and Tony was then off talking to people he couldn't remember ever speaking to, let alone inviting.
The party went on, maybe this one was the one to break the trend. Currently debating with Thor about how movies are the most important media form, Peter felt at ease. These people around him quite frankly looked like they wanted to be here just as little as he did, which for some reason made it all better. It must have been two and a half hours, countless battle stories and bickering made Peter forget about the weight in his chest. In this little corner of the party he was safe, everyone was too intimidated to stand anywhere near the couches of the avengers, their physique was not the most welcoming to strangers.
Tony had slightly wished he had not invited the kid, he was trying to talk to people and actually have a good time, but every five minutes his head would turn to the curly head by the couches checking if he was okay. And he was okay, every single time. It was a funny scene, these big heroes taking up as much space as they needed, and then a little sixteen year old squeezed as close to the arm of the couch as he could, his face didn't look worries though, he looked relaxed for once.
He was completely fine. So why did he feel the need to walk over there and check that for himself? He wished he knew. There was plenty of space on the couch between Peter and Steve, Thor could have probably fit in it, but there was clearly an understanding that was Peters safe space - he needed that. So Thor, Bruce, Natasha and Clint were all squeezed on a two man couch. At least Tony knew he wasn't the only one willing to be ridiculous for the boy. 'Hey Pete, all good?' The boy just smiled and nodded, clearly not paying any attention to his mentor as Natasha and Clint were currently having a thumb war.
The only noise that came from Peter was a very low grumble from his stomach. 'Are you hungry? I can order us some pizza?' The mention of pizza had the whole gaggle in front of him staring at him like he had just promised to get them everything they had ever wanted. 'I'll take that as a yes then, I can get the usual, it will be thirty minutes.' Groans escaped the group, Tony was just about to shout at them to get off their lazy asses and get it themselves if they wanted to complain, as the kid beside him spoke up. 'I can go get it, I'll swing it will be so much quicker.'
'No Pete, you are not being their delivery boy.'
'No honestly Mr Stark it is completely okay, I wanted some air anyway, getting restless.'
'No.'
'Let the boy get the Pizza Stark, I am starving over here.'
'You go get the pizza then point break.'
'But he offered. He is in the moving room now anyway.' And the god was right, the boy was waving at him as the elevator doors closed, great now he wouldn't be able to concentrate on anything but the kid coming home safe for however long he was planning to take. Defeated he fell into the space left next to Steve, 'oh what did we do to deserve your presence? You sat down with us, I have never heard such a thing!'
'Shut up katpiss' bickering then ensued for the foreseeable future.
It didn't take long to get to the pizza shop, maybe six minutes, so it was no surprise that the 6 large pizzas were not ready. What was a surprise however, was how busy it was in here. There was a lot of people, possibly too many. It was also incredibly loud and there was alarms going off for a reason that Peter did not know. He tried to find a corner out of the way, but every time he got comfy he would be in someones way. Drunk people were piling in every minute and he was trying to get out of the way but it didn't work, people were scoffing at him. And there were too many beeps and alarms. Someone tried to talk to him, but he just needed to focus on the man behind the counter. And try to ignore these beeps.
It had been fifteen minutes. There were still beeps, someone burnt a pizza in the kitchen so they were all screaming at each other, it smelt bad, someone threw up, someone stood on his foot, it was really hot, the beeps wouldn't stop, chairs were scraping, someone was arguing with the man at the counter, so many beeps, people had come and gone with their pizza but he was still waiting. He just needed to tap his fingers slowly, very slowly. Focus on one thing, he just needed to get the pizza. What were the beeps? He felt sick. Someone fell into him, breath got stuck in his throat, but he couldn't do this now not here. He pushed it down.
Peter thought that once he had the pizza and was on his way back to the tower it would all be better. But in those six minutes it only got worse. He knew it was starting but denial was one of his favourite emotions, so he was okay he was fine. Back at the entrance of the tower, more people were clearly entering the party, a couple of people were stumbling out of the door but lots more were going in. He just needed to get back to the couch. The slow taps of his fingers were rapid in the crammed elevator, his hand had moved up to his chest so that he could feel his heartbeat. Someone was pressed very close to him and someone had very strong perfume on, he could not breathe. He slammed his eyes shut, it was all a dream, he fell asleep on the couch. He wanted to sit down. Someone might have asked if he was okay. Someone definitely tapped him. He just needed to get to the floor.
But as everyone piled out into the party he was stuck. It was so much busier, it was too loud, there were so many noises happening. There were so many people. It felt like someone had grabbed his neck and was strangling him, but he was alone. In the lift. He needed to give them their pizza.
The avengers were all eating pizza but his kid was not, his kid wasn't even there. 'Where is Pete?' Everyone shrugged, too involved with the pizza to care that much about the whereabouts of the spider kid. 'Steve? Where is he.'
'I don't know, he ran over here full speed, basically threw the pizza on the table and ran off muttering something about a toilet.' Tony looked at the three empty boxes.
'When was this?'
'Ten? fifteen minutes ago?'
'Fuck, I'm not asking you to look after him ever again.' He responded but Tony was already running to the toilets, he called the kids name but no-one responded. A quiet Friday spoke 'Peter is in the bathroom next to his bedroom.' Of course he was. He didn't want to be here. He needed quiet and god it was so so loud.
This floor was eerily quiet, none of the lights were on, not a single noise apart from rapid breathing coming from down the hall. 'Hey Pete? All good in there?' No reply but clearly stifled breaths, then the sound of throwing up, then a small sob. 'Pete...'
'Oh Mr...Stark. 'l good'
'Did you eat something from the fridge? I told you it had all gone off.' There was a big bang and then faster breathing 'Peter, what's happening bud?'
' 'm fine please.'
'No you are not. Are you having a panic attack?' This was just met with more coughs and crashes and struggles breaths. 'Pete, kid speak to me, I can help.'
' 'm fine can do it.'
'Kid let me in.' The breathing rate was now getting concerning, just as Tony was going to force FRIDAY to open the door there was a small click. Peter had retreated to the back of the bathroom as far away from the entrance as he could. He was curled into himself, shaking violently. Tony well and truly wanted to scoop him up and make it better, but the kid didn't like contact at the best of times, let alone when he is probably convinced he is dying. He crouched so he could try and meet the boys watery eyes. 'Hi there kid, shall we go somewhere more comfy?' The boy just shook his head aggressively.
' 'ot 'stairs'
'No bud we can stay down here, I have locked it off as well, no one not even little Clint can get down here until you want them to okay?' There was no reaction just a slight relaxing of the shoulders. 'Okay good job, we are going to go to your room okay? I'm going to help you up.' Tony went to put a hand on him but he just recoiled and curled in on himself even more. 'Okay, no touching. Give me a second.'
Tony returned to the hyperventilating teenager with more blankets than he could ever need. And quickly begun to lay them out. 'No one.'
'Thats right Pete, no-one, just me and you.' Tony never expected the following action to happen ever. The boy threw his arms around Tony. His breathing had not eased and Tony felt that he was completely to blame, the kid was apprehensive to come to this stupid party, he added too much pressure, and he should not have let him go get the pizza that was clearly what had gone wrong. He looked down as the kid had fully put himself as close to Tony as he could, it was slightly difficult to breathe but he could not reject any closeness with the kid. 'Can you breathe with me kid? Follow my chest.'
If Tony could have entered Peter's brain and rid him of any pain, he would in a heartbeat. Every time the teenager clearly thought of what was troubling him, Tonys shirt would be scrunched and the boy would start shaking even more. It devastated Tony that Peter knew what to do, he knew what he needed as he would grab Tonys hand and put it where provided him most comfort. Sometimes it was to stop the restless leg, sometimes it was to keep his hands from tapping. 'Breathe with me kid, good job. I've got you. You're okay.'
Tony was terrible at comforting people. Rhodey once found out that someone had died and Tony's response was 'is there a free bar at the funeral.' Pepper freaked out one day and started to panic, but she shut Tony out after he proved very very unhelpful. And those were the only times he could remember having to comfort someone, so looking down now at the tiny teenager wrapped around his torso, it was fair to say that he was terrified. He was terrified of someone relying on him, all he would do would let them down, and when that someone is as innocent and pure as Peter Parker the pressure builds up more.
But while he was thinking, Tony's hand found it's way to the kids back, slowly rubbing circles and his arm keeping him as close as possible. Squeezing the boy every once in a while to let him know that he was there, and he wasn't leaving. His other hand found its way to the curls, and before he knew it he was stroking the kids head. He even kissed the top of his head and whispered 'I'm here bud.' Tony didn't ever think he could be this soft and caring, but it came easily, all he had to do was treat the kid how he wished he was treated when he was younger. When he was curled up in his room hyperventilating, thinking he was dying, then being told to grow up and stand up. All he wanted was a hug. He would never let Peter feel like that ever. He would sit here for years before he let Peter feel that way.
The closeness had calmed Peter down rapidly. His breathing was still hitched and rapid but to a less concerning extreme, the shaking had calmed down and the whispers of 'don't let anyone in' had subsided. 'Good job kid, you're doing so well.' And he was doing well. Until there was a very loud bang upstairs, then another, then another, then another. And the kid was in the corner of the bathroom again. Tony would honestly kill whoever made that noise. 'It's okay Peter, I promise, no-one is here, it's just me and you.' Peter didn't move close to Tony just held his hand out, circles next to the thumb was one of the only ways to calm Tony and clearly it helped the kid as well.
Peter's head shot up. And he was eyeing the door, not scared though. 'Do you want to go out?' a small nod and the boy was walking out the bathroom heading for the balcony. Tony had never realised how much Peter was like him, everything that calmed him helped the kid, the way he ran away when he thought he was breaking, the way he wants no-one to find out. And that was not a realisation that Tony enjoyed, this kid was too pure for a brain like Tony's. He watched the kid still breathing fast, looking up at the stars and twisting his fingers round one another, if you couldn't see the breathing you would think he was at peace.
A worried gaze was plastered over Peter's face as he realised Tony was not sat next to him. Tony obviously put himself next to the boy in seconds. A combination of being outside and having Tony at his side slowed the breathing. Tony led Peter's head to fall on his shoulder so he could continue to play with his hair. Eventually the breathing was normal, the shaking stopped, it all just stopped. Tony kissed the top of Peter's head again 'I'm so so proud of you Kid, but can you please tell me if you feel like this again? We can make it go away in no time.' The kid nodded sleepily.
It wasn't until 2am when the team stumbled outside to find Tony Stark staring out at the city, his hands keeping the boy who was leaning on his chest as close as he possibly could. He turned around to ten raised eyebrows, a couple of giggles, and some flashes of a camera. 'Shut up all of you.' He tried to sound angry like he meant it, but he couldn't, he couldn't help smile. His insides had turned to liquid the second the kid threw himself at Tony and begged him not to leave, he couldn't hide it. The team patted him on the head saying goodnight. He didn't care that it was cold and he had nothing to keep him warm.
He had his kid, that's all that mattered.