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“I think we should take a break.”
It’s been almost two months and the words are still on a constant loop in Izuku’s mind.
“I think we should take a break.”
He still doesn’t understand what went wrong. They had been together almost 6 months and as far as Izuku knew, everything was going great. Katsuki had always occupied a huge part of Izuku’s life, but when they finally got together, it felt like Izuku had finally filled a gap in his world that he didn’t even know existed. Now he’s so familiar with the empty space Katsuki left that he doesn’t know how he ever felt complete to begin with.
“I think we should take a break.” Katsuki looked down at the floor as he said it, unable to face the hurt he knew he would see in Izuku’s big, expressive eyes.
“What?” Izuku asked breathily. “What do you mean ‘a break’?”
“I’m going on that internship abroad in a couple of weeks. I’ll be gone for 3 months and I just… I don’t want to hold you back,” Katsuki said, all of his usual brazenness missing from his voice.
“But I thought- I mean we talked about- we were gonna do long-distance!” Izuku stammered, voice starting to tremble.
“I know, but… I just think it’s for the best. I’m sorry.”
Izuku wakes up with his pillow wet from tears for the fourth time this week, Katsuki’s voice still echoing in his ears. He reaches his arm across the bed, searching for comfort like he had with so many nightmares so many nights before, but only feels the cold, empty space in his sheets. He checks the time on his phone. 3:52 AM. Right as he’s about to shut it off, a notification pops up.
From: Kacchan
Hey. Have you been sleeping?
Read 3:52 AM
Katsuki knew that Izuku had never been a great sleeper, and that he had become a full blown insomniac after the war. After a couple months of being together, and having Katsuki next to him in bed to remind him that he is alive, they are alive, they are alive together, his sleep schedule had started to even out. Izuku wonders if Katsuki knows that he’s the reason he can’t sleep now.
He ignores the message and heads to the bathroom. He splashes some water on his face before looking at himself in the mirror. He ignores the bags under his eyes and hones in on the features that Katsuki always used to say he loved- his green eyes, his scars, his freckles. Izuku knows all of these details belong to him, but no matter how hard he tries, he can’t recognize himself as the person he was before he and Katsuki split.
From: Kacchan
I never meant to hurt you
Read 4:03 AM
Izuku knows there’s no chance of him going back to sleep, so he shuffles into the living room to continue the task he’s been slowly, painfully working through for the past week or so. He opens up the box on the floor of his hallway and avoids looking at its contents as he pulls another picture frame off of the wall.
“I think we should take a break.”
Izuku can’t help but look at the last picture he takes down. It’s him and Katsuki at their graduation ceremony, taken only a few weeks before they officially started dating. Katsuki had his good arm wrapped around Izuku’s shoulders, and they were smiling at each other instead of the camera. Izuku remember’s feeling in that moment that if he and Katsuki had made it through everything that had happened previously in their lives- growing apart, Katsuki’s cruelties as a teenager, surviving a war- that they would be inseparable forever.
“I think we should take a break.”
Izuku is broken from his memory by his phone buzzing again.
From: Kacchan
I’m sorry
Read 4:35 AM
He shuts his phone off and puts the picture in the box, closing it shut and storing it away in his closet. He looks at the walls of his hallway, now empty. Just like his bed, just like his chest.
“I think we should take a break.”
He lets Katsuki’s words ring through his head one more time. He allows himself to feel the ache of heartbreak one more time. And then, like a dying ember, he lets it go, and for the first time in weeks, his mind is empty too.