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To say that it was raining was an understatement: it was downpouring, thick droplets falling on Todd’s window loudly. That evening’s meeting of the Dead Poets Society was cancelled, and both him and Neil were too tired to go to the study group, which is why they were now sitting on his bed doing nothing.
‘’How are the rehearsals going?’’ Todd suddenly asked, trying to break the silence in the room, and it’s like the whole place lit up. Suddenly it looked like the sun was up again in the sky, as Neil stood up and started telling him all about it.
‘’Really well. You know, the theatre director told me that I’m ‘a natural at acting’ and that I could even do it as a job.’’ His smile was infectious, and Todd couldn’t help but smile too.
‘’Really?’’
‘’Hmhm, she said I’m a very fast learner too, I’m the only actor who already memorised all of his lines. Not to say that the others aren’t good, but they still need to look at the script.’’ His smile faded as he thought of something. ‘’Now if only my father could see it.’’
‘’I’m sure he will.’’
‘’You don’t know him.’’ He sighed, looking down. ‘’He worked hard to build a life so that I could become a doctor and have a successful career, not an actor. To him that’d be like throwing all his effort down a river.’’ He chuckled at his metaphor, but there wasn’t any humour in his voice. ‘’Sometimes I wonder if life is even worth living, if I have to live it like he wants me to.’’
‘’Don’t say that.’’ Todd quickly said, putting his hand over Neil’s. This wasn’t the first time Neil said something along those lines, and every single time it made Todd’s heart race, unsure if his best friend was serious or not. Sure, he met Neil’s dad and he knew how controlling he was, but it couldn’t have been this bad, right?
‘’Why? I’m trapped, Todd. The play is the last chance I’ll ever have at acting, and then my father is going to send me off to Harvard for the next decade. And then what? Do I throw all my years of study in the trash to try and start acting again, most probably getting disowned in the process? What kind of life is that?’’ His voice was straining, fighting hard against tears that Todd could clearly see were forming.
‘’We can figure a way out, I’m sure.’’ He tried to comfort him, running his hand up and down his back, the other one still holding Neil’s tightly.
‘’How?’’
‘’I…’’ Todd swallowed, trying to push down all of the fear and anxiety that he felt towards Neil. ‘’...I don’t know yet. But we could ask Keating, or Charlie, or anyone for help and we’ll find a way.’’ Now both of their voices were strained, breaking with emotion. ‘’It doesn’t have to be like this.’’ Neil stayed silent for a long time, looking down at the floor as the whole conversation replayed in his head, before suddenly hugging Todd. He could feel the back of his sweater staining with tears, but he didn’t care as he hugged him back even tighter, so tightly it probably would’ve hurt in any other occasion.
‘’I hope so. I really hope so.’’