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“Like old times”
It was hard to imagine. So much has happened. So many unbelievable, scary, exciting, wonderful, terrible things have happened. Ladybug and Chat Noir fought so hard for so long. They learned there were more miraculous than just the ladybug, black cat, and butterfly. They found the Guardian of the miraculous. They built a team of hero’s bit by bit. They lost the Guardian of the Miraculous.
Marinette became the Guardian of the Miraculous. Their superhero team grew in size and strength. Chat Noir lost trust in ladybug. Ladybug lost all the miraculous. Ladybug lost trust in herself. Chat Noir helped her find it again.
Marinette fell in love with Chat Noir. Chat Noir fell in love with Marinette. Monarch took advantage of that.
Adrien fell in love with Marinette. She handled it about as well as she could. Marinette dated Adrien. Chat Noir got a girlfriend.
Marinette learned horrible things about Gabriel Agreste, Adrien, and the Miraculous of the peacock.
Adrien was sent away to London. Ladybug had to face Monarch alone. Monarch was Gabriel Agreste. Bugnoir couldn’t save him.
She missed the feel of Chat’s strong arms around her the moment he pulled away. It had helped hold her together when she, so terribly, felt she was about to fall apart. Instead, she leaned her head against his shoulder. Chat noir did not hesitate to lean his head back onto hers.
They sat that way for a while. The grey skies reflected how bleak Ladybug felt despite Monarchs defeat.
It wasn’t supposed to be like this.
Beating Monarch was supposed to mean freedom. Freedom for Paris. Freedom for Ladybug and Chat Noir to reveal their identities and relax from the demanding hero work. Freedom for Marinette to be a better girlfriend to Adrien. Even freedom for Adrien to not have to be called home for the rest of the day after every akuma attack by an overprotective father. The irony of that last one was not lost on Marinette.
“-dybug?”
Ladybug’s head was shaken from her thoughts by Chat Noir’s shoulder.
“hmm?” she dare not trust her words to not falter.
“I- you- I mean…” Chat stared at his boots dangling over the wall, “I know I shouldn’t ask but…”
A pit sunk in her stomach. Marinette had cried too much today, had too many emotional conversations, delt with too much change, it- it was all just too much. But. But she cared about Chat Noir, and she knew if Chat Noir had faced Monarch alone, she would have a million questions. So, against everything in her screaming ‘ENOUGH!’ she prompted. “But?”
“How did it happen?” He glanced at her cautiously.
His green eyes asked so much more than his words. She scanned his face, he looked… hurt. And tired. If not for their masks you could probably see matching dark circles under both the hero’s eyes.
It wasn’t supposed to be like this.
Much like their vision in jubilation they were supposed to punch Monarch in the face, take the butterfly miraculous back, and ride off into the sunset. No more secret identities, no more double life, no more suffering. Instead, taking down Monarch (who, by the way, was her boyfriend’s father the whole time!?) just made Marinettes life so much worse. Now, not only was she keeping her identity as Ladybug from Adrien, but she was keeping the biggest and most personal secret in the world from that boy she loved more than anything. How could she tell Adrien, tell the world, that Gabriel Agreste was Monarch? Natalie would go to jail as his accomplice, or at the very least she would be on trial for a very long time. Where would that leave Adrien? Would people think he was involved in his father’s crimes? Would he have to leave Paris and stay with his aunt and cousin? Would Adrien hate ladybug? Would he resent her alter-ego for the downfall of his life as he knew it? It was too much.
All too much.
She feared without any release this secret would become an Atlas task that would crush her under the infinite pressure. And she looked at Chat Noir. And his eyes were so desperate to understand. As she opened her mouth to say something Chat spoke again.
“Did he hurt you?”
Tears formed in her eyes against all her efforts. Chat Noir kept going.
“Because he had to take both our miraculous from you, right? And- and if he did that and Gabrieal Agreste had- had to s-step in then,” his voice broke but he powered though, “then he had to’ve h-hurt you.”
“Oh kitty.”
“And I wasn’t there.” Tears streamed down his face and his shoulder shook with silent sobs.
“My kitty,” she cusped his face in her hands and wiped away a tear with her thumb. She blinked away hot tears of her own, “He was… it was…”
She knew the more she hesitated the worse Chat Noir’s imagination got.
“You know I don’t blame you for not being there. There’s no point in going down the road of ‘what ifs.’ Monarch- I mean- he still had all the other Miraculous, I was able to get the miraculous of the turtle from him in battle, but he kept the kwami’s locked away in this horrible fishbowl cage thing. He got the drop on me; he used venom to paralyze me and take the miraculous from me.”
She could see Chat Noir absorb the information. His gaze softened at the news that she was merely paralyzed, but then his brow knit in confusion.
“If you were only under the effects of venom, why did Gabriel have to sacrifice himself?”
Shit. Was she really that clumsy?
“uh well remember his assistant Natalie was sick and so he exchanged himself for her.”
“What happened to Monarch then?” Chat Noir’s expression hardened.
SHIT. Too much it was all too much.
It wasn’t supposed to be like this.
Ladybug was sure she had cried all the tears out of her, but she was wrong. She broke down sobbing, dropping her head into her hands. She felt Chat Noir immediately envelope her in his arms. Squeezing her tightly he whispered ‘I’m so sorry’s and comforting words.
She took several minutes to compose herself. Chat noir waited patiently but she could see his pleading eyes. He desperately wanted to understand. And she desperately wanted to tell him everything.
So.
She did.
“Chat noir,” she said between sniffles, “What I’m about to tell you, needs to be kept between us at all costs. The consequences of the truth are too great. You’re my partner I don’t want there to be unnecessary secrets between us and this… this is too heavy for me to bear on my own.”
His ears perked to attention at her grave tone. “What is it Ladybug?”
He sounded nervous. Ladybug felt sick.
“Monarch,” she looked over he shoulder as if to check for listeners (or maybe a burrow hole here to pull her into another timeless battle with a ghost for the sake of the timeline) when there was no interruption she continued, “Monarch’s true identity was Gabriel Agreste.”
“What?” he’s voice was so small. His eyes were blown wide, his pupils shrunk to fine lines.
She took his trembling hands, “Gabriel Agreste was trying to get our miraculous to make a wish to bring his wife back, but he lost himself in the process. I tried to reason with him, but he wouldn’t listen. He had a change of heart in the end, he saved Natalie. But I was unable to save him.”
It was unclear if Chat Noir heard her, his eyes were frantically darting all over but not looking at anything.
“Why? Why are you letting people hail him as a hero he-,” resolve set in Chat Noir “He terrorized the city!! He’s no hero, all of this is- is his fault!”
Chat Noir quickly stood, and Ladybug feared he was running away to spill the secret, but he just began pacing.
“This doesn’t make sense. We suspected him before. He was akumatized. How didn’t I see this?”
Ladybug wasn’t sure if he was talking to her or himself at the moment. She didn’t know what to say.
“His wife? He was cold and distant even to… right under my nose how? I can’t believe this.” At the last part he stopped and stared right at Ladybug. He looked hurt. Tired. Devastated.
Ladybug pushed herself of her seated position on the wall and slowly approached him. he never broke eye contact, filched slightly as she began to hug him, and then melted into her touch.
He fell apart. Ladybug didn’t understand what was wrong. She knew she could not have held that secret from him without crumbling apart but she would readily hold him so they could move through this together.
He sobbed into her shoulder, and she didn’t mind. But her body could only do so much to keep them standing. As gingerly as she could, Ladybug lowered them to the surface of the roof.
“Tell me you’re lying.” He said it so softly she wondered if she was hearing echoes of Adrien from earlier, but when she didn’t respond he leaned away from her and said it again, “Tell me you’re lying.”
She was so tired as she met his eyes. “I’m not lying.”
“Why didn’t you- what did you tell his son?” His eyes would’ve been red with tears if his sclera was white. He stared at her with an unreadable expression.
“I- I told him the story the world knows, that-“
“Why??!” His voice sounded hoarse with emotion. “Out of anyone he deserves to know!”
It wasn’t supposed to be like this.
“It’s complicated Chat Noir, he-”
“How? How did Adrien live under his roof and not notice anything? How is he supposed to go on with this-this LIE about who his father is- was?!”
“Don’t blame Adrien. No one wants to think their parent is a villain.” Ladybug refused to let Chat Noir leave this conversation blaming Adrien. “You have no idea what Adrien’s life is like, you don’t get to decide he should or should not have known.”
Chat Noir looked like he wanted to say something but, uncharacteristically, bit his tongue. So, Ladybug took his hands in hers and the kneeled in front of each other.
“Please Chat Noir. You can’t tell anyone, especially Adrien. It’s better this way.”
Chat pulled his hands away and looked up at her with hooded eyes, “I don’t think that should be up to you to decide. Monarch was a monster, why should Gabirel be celebrated as a hero.” He looked at the ground, defeated. Then spoke softly to himself, “I should have seen it. I should have been there.”
Ladybug was too tired to continue on like this. “Please,” She closed her eyes but that didn’t stop the tears, “Please don’t tell anyone, please don’t tell Adrien.” She whispered. “If Gabriel is exposed then Natalie might go to jail for helping him. She just wanted to help Adrien. Adrien needs her. He- I don’t know if keeping it from him is the right thing to do but, what was I supposed to do? I failed. I failed to stop Monarch. I failed to retrieve the butterfly Miraculous. I failed Paris. I failed Adrein. And I failed you.
It was quiet for a moment. Ladybug was too tired and too scared to look at him. She knew she couldn’t stop him from telling if he wanted to, she could only beg him not to. For Adrien’s sake.
“Ok Ladybug,” His voice was void of all his normal warmth, charm, and emotion, “I won’t tell. I promise.”
Her teary eyes met his defeated stare. And then he smiled at her, a small smile, barely there at all, really more of a lip twitch, but it was there.
He was supporting her.
They could talk about this more later. When the wounds weren’t so fresh, when the news wasn’t so new.
When Marinette was stronger.
“I’m with you Ladybug. You did the best you could. I- I should’ve been there.”
She gave him a wet weepy smile. It was all so horrible. They were just teens. Teens shouldered with unimaginable guilt for circumstances entirely out of their control.
Their eyes met with a defeated understanding. Ladybug knew this was not the last of this conversation, but it was all they could deal with for now. They were caught in the tide, swept out to sea and now had to ride the wild waves and hope they would land somewhere better.
It wasn’t supposed to be like this.