Chapter Text
“Shut the fuck up!”
“No! I won’t shut the fuck up until you explain yourself, you pathetic little wimp!” J’s sonorous voice echoed through the trial ground.
“I told you, there was no other choice for me! What the fuck do you even need an explanation for? It’s already over anyway.” Ace’s not a bit less loud one screeched back at her.
It was so funny, looking at him now. He simply pulled out a golden ticket here, won a fucking million-dollar lottery with real-life jackpot chances. His complicated, but still wacky, murder plan is what brought him the ultimate victory. Amidst the screaming and bickering of his classmates, David thinks to himself, “This is absolutely exhilarating. I handed the win on a golden plate to the dumbest one of us.”
He noticed that, while everyone else voiced their complaints to the star of the show, Teruko chose to stare daggers at him. That is actually a perfectly reasonable thing to do right now. While Ace was the chef that made the dish, David was the waiter that promoted it to the guests, convinced them that it did not taste like shit, and made sure they would leave a 5-star rating before they threw up.
He looks back at her with a daring grin. The pathetic attempts of Ace to pretend like he doesn’t feel guilty weren’t worth watching anyway.
“Are you happy now?” Teruko snarls at him. “Well, you won’t be for very long. You’re going to die, after all.”
David chuckles. She thinks she has just revealed a grand mystery to him. “The same applies to you.”
“No,” Teruko says, her voice quieter this time. “You must have forgotten who I am.”
“The Ultimate Lucky Student? Geeez, how could I?” David shouts mockingly. “What an amazing talent to have. I’m sure it will save you from whatever killing machine is going to be thrown at us right now.”
The girl looks like she wants to object to his sarcastic tone, but gives up on it midthought. “Whatever. Talking to you is a waste of my time. Just spend those few minutes of life you have left, knowing that you are the one to blame for all these deaths.”
“Roger that, miss captain,” David says and turns back to the commotion. Blame, huh? She is so hilarious, thinking he would bother trying to find guilt in him right before he is about to kick the bucket.
But did he feel sorry? For all these people, who some dumbass higher-ups proclaimed to be Ultimates just because they don’t completely suck at one thing? David did not regret his actions, nor was he thrilled by the thought of his classmates dying. It went just how it was supposed to go.
At least, that’s what he believed in.
He supposes that the loss of human life is tragic by default. Those people, even though they were fucking stupid and braindead, probably had some dreams. Maybe someone here wanted to create a happy family. Maybe someone wanted to burn down the house of their parents. It’s (probably?) a shame that those things are never meant to be.
But, even if David tried (he doesn’t), he couldn’t care less.
Life is such a miraculously unpractical thing. You are forced to interact with others, care for them, and eventually give up something important. In the end, it’s just sacrifices and sacrifices until there is nothing left of you. And, somehow, you are expected to maintain your own well-being while being a crutch for all poor souls needing you.
It’s stupid. It shouldn’t be like that.
Why, in this dog-eat-dog world, is he supposed to feel guilty about some chumps dying? What good would that even bring? The parasitical friendships, where a person drains everything from you and leaves nothing in return? Now meaningless, how dumb, how unpractical…
David wishes he couldn’t feel empathy. That he was above this trivial emotional garbage. That he was on a whole other level of not-giving-a-fuck.
And yet, he is not. He has fallen into the same trap as those around him.
He gave up his life for the ideas that Xander believed in. It’s not like he valued it in the first place, but this was all he could offer. Much as he tried, he was not able to enjoy life even a little. So, in a way, what he gave up was actually worthless from the start.
That’s why it doesn’t matter. That’s why David has not fallen sentimental. It was a rational thing to do.
Unlike David, Xander knew what he was doing in life. People like him are the ones who push the world to its best (or to its worst, depending on who you ask). Xander knew that this “killing game show” is bullshit and a disgrace to the whole idea of morality. That’s why he did what he did – a smaller evil instead of a bigger one.
David doesn’t have morals. He is not capable of understanding this concept. What he does have is the wish to pass the baton to the worthy.
Xander could’ve been something that David failed to become. Xander could have invoked a change in the world that David pretended to fight for. If there were more people like Xander, there would be much fewer people like David.
He values dignity. And this way to go out seemed most honorable to him.
David’s thoughts are interrupted by the high-pitched voice of MonoTV.
“Alright, everyone! It’s time for the moment we’ve all been waiting for!”
Eden’s weeps became more audible. On the contrary, J’s rant turned into silence. Ace, the coward that he is, could not stand to look at the people he betrayed.
“Guys! We have to do something about this!” Hu’s panicked voice appealed to the flock.
“Why bother?” Veronica replied nonchalantly. “There’s no way we make out of this alive. Why don’t you try and enjoy the process while you are still able to feel something?”
Levi stuttered out: “Maybe, if I shield everyone, then we can somehow-”
“Are you stupid?” Charles interrupted. “MonoTV said loud and clear that the execution will continue until every single one of us is dead!”
“Well, it’s good I’m already taken then!” Whit chuckles behind him. When everyone stops screaming and looks blankly at him, he backs down: “Come on, guys… It’s a coping mechanism…Was just trying to light up the mood.”
Eden’s sobs go on, even louder than before. David never doubted the ability of stupid people to create noise that makes his head explode. One would think they would find a way to spend the last moments of their lives more efficiently.
“I’ve prepared the not-so-special, but still thrilling execution for the Ultimate Watchmaker, the Ultimate Personal stylist, the Ultimate Chemist, the Ultimate…”
David closed his eyes. He was ashamed to admit that his non-human existence was actually afraid right before his doom. You’d think that, after everything he has done, said, felt, his ability to fear was demolished ten times over. And, yet, here he is.
Maybe, in another life, he won’t be so pathetic. Maybe he’ll finally choose a side to join. In this world, it’s either become human or become completely devoid of humanity. No in-betweens.
“Let’s give it everything we got! It’s punishment time.”
The last thing David feels is not the rain of bullets shot through his chest. It’s that lingering, but never-fading, primal desire to become someone worthy of existing.