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“Well well… seems your hard work has payed off.”
Seawatt called out to Evbo, who was standing at the very top of parkour civilization, looking down. With some help from Evbo, EMF had finally been able to rebuild Parkour Civilization- although it had admittedly taken quite a while.
“All I did was help EMF.”
“Yeah, well you’re also the parkour god. Sure you’ve done plenty of stuff with that.”
“I haven’t really- I’m not even sure what the parkour god’s supposed to do.” Evbo frowned.
“Aw, I’m sure you’ll figure it out! You-“ As Seawatt spoke, he raised a hand and ruffled it through Evbo’s hair. To Seawatt’s absolutely horror, that shit felt like straw and he swears he heard it crunch.
“I- What’s that look for?”
Seawatt didn’t even reply. He wiped his hand on his shirt, trying to wipe off the memory of Evbo’s hair’s horrible texture, then reached out and grabbed Evbo’s wrist. He dragged Evbo along silently, despite the numerous protests from the other. Evbo had tried tugging his arm away, pleading with Seawatt, offering to bribe him, everything. Nothing faltered Seawatt’s unwavering determination as he dragged him down too… EMF’s house? Evbo just watched in confused silence as Seawatt pounded on the door. They waited a few seconds in silence until the door slowly creaked open, and EMF looked at the two of them in confused silence.
“What do you want?”
“Feel his hair.”
Evbo tried to protest, but EMF reached forwards and buried clawed, black fingers into Evbo’s blonde hair. As soon as they had come, they quickly retracted. EMF had a look of genuine disgust on his face.
“What’s the problem? Why did you both react like that?”
“Get inside.” EMF said, opening his door wider to let the two of them inside. Seawatt practically shoved the god into the home, then forced him to sit on a chair once they got inside. EMF made the few blocks jumps to his bathroom, then came back holding a ton of different products. He threw them down on the living room table, which earned a very confused look from Evbo. EMF stood behind Evbo and combed through his hair with his claws.
“Dude… why is your hair black at the base?”
“Oh yeah! I need to re-bleach it soon!”
“Where the hell did you even get hair bleach on the noob level?”
“Oh, I just used cleaning bleach!”
The other two people in the room looked at each other in shock and horror. How the hell did Evbo even have hair?
”What do you use to wash your hair…?” Seawatt asked, scared of the answer.
“Oh! 30 in 1!”
Silence filled the room. EMF took a few steps away from Evbo. Seawatt sunk his head into his hands, on the verge of tears. Evbo was… a parkour god… using 30 in 1. What the fuck does 30 in 1 even contain? Or do?
“We’re going to need to shave it all off.”
“WHAT.”
“Yeah. This can’t be saved.”
—
A few hours later, Evbo sits depressed in the same chair, EMF’s fingers running what must have been a fourth product through his now greatly shortened hair. Seawatt had passed out on the couch maybe an hour ago, somewhere between cutting off all of the bleach-blonde yellow hair and the first round of shampoo. They were at the second round of conditioner now… apparently it was that bad. His legs were beginning to go numb from sitting in that chair for hours, but it felt nice to have EMF’s clawed hands wash his hair, and Seawatt looked strangely pretty sleeping on that couch. Actually, now that he thought about it, EMF hadn’t touched his head in a minute- Evbo was snapped out of his thoughts by cold water being poured on his head, washing out the product. The water and product washed out through a hole in the floor that lead to another level. Evbo yelped in shock, which earned a pretty laugh from EMF, who was now holding… some tool?
“What is that?”
“…A… Hairdryer?” EMF frowned. “Please tell me you’ve used a hairdryer.”
“Uh… no. I usually just let it air dry!”
EMF was going to cry. What is wrong with this boy. Instead, EMF took out a short hand-towel and used it to dry the short buzzcut before he clicked on the hair dryer. It didn’t take long, considering how short Evbo’s hair was now. By the time his hair was dried and the machine was clicked off, it was soft and fluffy again. Seawatt shifted awake from his nap on the couch, rubbing his eyes and smudging the kohl so he looked like an early 2000s emo band member.
“Are we done?” Evbo asked.
His question was answered by another product being poured on his head. Evbo groaned as his, too, was messaged into his hair.
“Shame, he looked cute with the fluffy hair.” Seawatt commented, clearly still half-asleep. Evbo blushed.
“He needs a hair mask, that 30 in 1 did more damage than you would expect.”
“God, that bad huh?”
“I’m pretty sure you could feed what I cut off too the cows and they would think it’s hay.”
Evbo didn’t even ask what a hair mask was, his brain already hurting trying to remember what EMF had told him about the difference between Shampoo, Conditioner, and Body Wash. He was too busy mourning the loss of his long blonde hair to remember how to use each of those products respectively.
“Done! If I ever catch you using 30 in 1 again I’m parkour battling you and winning.”
“I won’t I won’t! I promise-“
“And if you ever bleach your hair again you are using hair bleach, and making us help you.” Seawatt added on.
“Fine!”
Evbo was sent away with a bag of new hair-care products and a kiss. Seawatt gently ruffled the now soft, short black hair. He didn’t cringe this time.
“That’s better!”