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There were many things that security officer Jack Brice just got used to over time.
Being used as a pawn to take down a warmongering alien race. Collecting artifacts from a highly advanced culture that vanished eons ago. Living with people who typically communicated through some telepathic technological link. Having a blossoming "relationship" with an egotistical, power-hungry and formerly insane artificial intelligence.
All of that was just part of an average day on board the good ship Rozinante.
Hearing Earth music playing through the halls of an alien starship, however, was something that still gave him severe whiplash even after a quarter of a century.
Durandal had once told his security officer how he appreciated music from all genres across all of recorded time. He had no true preference, he'd just play something fitting to his current mood. It wasn't out of the ordinary for him to play a song filled with heavy guitar riffs and men screaming their throats raw immediately after a soothing ballad that nearly put Jack to sleep.
Now that Jack thought about it, that happening several times a month probably wasn't a coincidence.
A few weeks ago, Durandal had leaned into more sophisticated stuff, suitable for a stuffy prick like himself. One of those songs had some deep, chanting vocals that the S'pht really seemed to enjoy, several asking him for a replay. Apparently it was somewhat reminiscent to melodies passed down by their ancestors. Small galaxy.
So, sweetheart that he was, Durandal recreated some old S'pht hymns with a little help from the data from their trip to Lh'owon and a lot of help from a handful of his crew. When Jack joked about how nice Durandal was for doing that, he insisted it was strictly for research. Despite the massive library he snagged from the Marathon (he needed something to fill the silence while travelling), it currently only consisted of music from the Sol system, he had to include more extraterrestrial tunes sooner or later.
Once the S'pht had their musical fill, Durandal, obviously drained from a week of low drones and somber chanting, had decided to play the most upbeat tracks he could find to bring the mood back up. His archives from late 20th century Earth had more than enough to choose from.
They were a bit too cheery or melodramatic for Jack's taste, but goddamn it were they dangerously catchy. He caught himself singing them too many times to count. That damned song about dancing in September had once cost him his hiding spot while he was planet-side and Durandal made sure to play it on repeat for an hour straight when he returned to the ship just to rub it in.
A song about everyone wanting to rule the world? An odd choice. Jack never imagined Durandal would be the 'rule over mankind' sort and even if he was in the past, those Rampant-like urges would have died out ages ago. Being in charge of one human was hard enough and he bitched enough about the BoBs to prove it had always been a taxing experience.
The one about killing a radio star? Okay, that one made sense. One of Durandal's many responsibilities star-side was taking out any nearby enemy ships that could radio down and send reinforcements to Jack's location.
Whatever. Jack would take any of those over the schmaltzy love songs Durandal had been listening to for the last nine hours. They were way too cheesy even by Durandal standards, which was a rather steep hill to climb if he had to be honest.
Perhaps if Jack had been a little more aware, he would've picked up on the hints that were being sent his way like a particle beam straight to the forehead, but Durandal supposed that's why the cyborg was the brawn of their outfit and not the brains. He refused to believe humans could be this dense, however. Possibly the result of one too many Hunter-branded concussions.
The asshole didn't even take requests. Like a petulant child, Durandal would fight back with: "my ship, my radio, my rules" anytime Jack asked to hear something more towards his tastes, such as those heavy guitars from before. He played all that stuff for the S'pht for a week straight, but wouldn't take five minutes out of his precious day to play something for him?
It also didn't help that Durandal couldn't carry a tune in the ship's storage bays, often ruining the song he played over the speaker system with the horrid screeches of the damned he considered singing.
A gentle guitar played over the tinny speakers in the Rozinante's main hall. Subconsciously, Jack's head bobbed from side-to-side to the beat as he made his way towards the bridge to hang out with F'tha like usual.
He passed the massive bulkhead door leading to Durandal's core, a slab of bullet-proof, explosion-resistant metal alloy that was sealed with enough locks to keep out any alien with ill-intent or human too nosy for his own good.
It wasn't sound-proof, however, and that's exactly where the current problem lied. He stopped mid-stride, hearing the tell-tale howls of the AI contained inside. At least Durandal had the common courtesy to keep all his noises to his core this time. Jack pulled a mischievous grin and leaned in closer to press his ear to the door.
"-- dream at night I can only see your face
I look around but it's you I can't replace
I feel so cold and I long for your embrace
I keep crying baby, baby please"
Jack grit his teeth in discomfort as Durandal's voice cracked violently on the last word.
Feeling a little ballsy, he approached the keypad next to the door and input his security override code. To prevent any future events like the one that had taken place on Lh'owon's second moon, Durandal had given him this code. He explained it was to be used in extreme emergencies only, but he should've known better than to trust Jack with this kind of power.
The door opened and the music was deafening, no wonder he was able to hear it through such thick metal. He thanked whatever ancient human who composed this song for the break in the lyrics, he wasn't trained to resist every form of torture.
He took a few cautious steps into the room, so far so good. Durandal must really be hard at work doing whatever the hell he did between systems if he didn't notice the most important door in the ship opening.
Crossing his arms, Jack smiled sweetly at the sight.
LEDs flashed bright and lively, lighting up the core in countless colors. Some even flashed to the beat of the music. The temperature was a little high, but that was to be expected for a construct of his size and power. Besides, it was nowhere as sweltering as it was back on Boomer.
Jack had only been in this room once before. That was a very long time ago, a few months into their journey together when Durandal was still putting some finishing touches on his then new home. He put Jack's dumb muscle to good use, having him lift a gigantic cooling unit he had "borrowed" from a fellow Pfhor battleship they had just finished ransacking. The place had cleaned up considerably since then, wires no longer snaked around the floor as potential tripping hazards and everything was a uniform grey, silver and black, with his terminal symbol plastered on each of the closed panels on his core towers in bright green. Seems even he was sick of the ship's vibrant colors.
He really should duck out before he gets spotted. He had no idea when the song would end, and without music to distract him, all of Durandal's attention would be drawn to the single crewmember not allowed in his core smack dab in the middle of it.
Then Durandal began to sing again and his voice rumbled so loud in the room, Jack could feel it in his chest.
"Oh, can't you see?
You belong to me?
How my poor heart aches
With every step you take"
That mischievous little smirk returned to Jack's face and he ignored the funny feeling he suddenly felt in his gut. No wonder the cheesy idiot didn't broadcast his voice across the whole ship. To hell with the consequences, a comment was needed to be said about all of this.
"A little on the nose, don't you think?"
The music shut off immediately and all the lights around the central pillar glowed a dangerous shade of red.
"How in the hell did you get in here?" Durandal's voice boomed down from above. He was clearly trying to sound as threatening as possible, but Jack could hear the faintest amount of embarrassment behind it.
Jack pressed both hands to his heart and played up the false worry in his voice. "I heard what sounded like absolutely horrified screams of pain in here and I had to make sure everything was okay."
Durandal let out an offended grunt. "That doesn't answer my question. HOW did you get in here?"
"Override code." Jack said smoothly and tapped the worn-out symbol on his uniform. "Security officer, remember? You personally gave it to me ages ago."
The temperature in the room suddenly rose a few degrees, almost as if the AI was blushing. "Since when do you willingly do your actual job around here?"
"When I hear my only source of food, shelter and entertainment sound like he's dying of a heart attack? You're lucky I passed by when I did." He unholstered his sidearm and looked around the room in an over-exaggerated manner. "Now, where's the danger?"
A loud, heavily-sarcastic laugh rang through the core, vibrations slamming Jack in the chest once again before cutting out abruptly, not even leaving behind an echo. "Very funny. Now get lost."
The staticky embrace of teleportation surrounded Jack and he was dropped off in his quarters, nearly falling face-first into his bunk. He whipped his head up to glare daggers at his terminal, giving it a fierce middle finger. "You could've at least sent me to the bridge, asshole. I was headed there when your shrieks distracted me."
"Well, you best start walking." Durandal said nonchalantly in-between humming along with the song that was playing through the terminal's speakers. "While I'm quite pleased to have learned my dulcet tones have become that of a siren's call to you, you better not pull any stunts like that again. I'll be watching you."