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“So,” Scott said awkwardly, glancing at him as he put away another plate back to its rightful place in the kitchen cabinet. “Big night tonight, huh?”
“Yeah.” Stiles nodded as he scrubbed the rest of the remaining dishes, careful not to meet Scott’s eyes. “I guess you could say that.”
He supposed that Scott was right. One didn’t turn eighteen and become a legal adult every day and finally, that day had come for Stiles. He’d never seen it as a huge deal, not like a lot of his friends did because it wasn’t like he let the fact that he was underage stop him from doing whatever he set his mind to. He hadn’t felt like a kid for a long time now, not since Scott got bitten by a werewolf, not since he watched his mom waste away in the hospital bed, body and soul.
So no, turning eighteen didn’t really seem like such a huge deal to him, aside from an excuse to invite a bunch of people over to his house and make a party out of it, especially now that he had actual friends to invite other than Scott. And it was supposed to stay that way - until he started dating Derek Hale.
Stiles might have only just turned eighteen today, but he’d like to see anyone deny that he and Derek getting together hadn’t been a long time coming. The two of them have had this incredible chemistry from the moment they first met, even if they tried their best to deny it. Well, Derek tried his best. Stiles miserably failed to hide his massive crush on the guy at every single turn.
And sure, if it weren't for a lengthy history of the two of them repeatedly saving each other’s lives and the fact that due to life circumstances, they both were forced to grow up rather quickly, Stiles could acknowledge that Derek's interest in him could be seen as more than a little odd. Some – like his dad, for one – would even call it inappropriate. Downright illegal in the lovely state of California where you could get eaten by a creepy monster from your worst nightmares at every turn but your dad still felt the need to give you the talk about both sex, werewolves and sex with werewolves despite his lack of knowledge on the subject the moment you kissed one.
It was a very traumatic night for both of them, arguably more so than anything that happened in Beacon Hills since the fateful night when Scott got bitten. Fanfiction should never be used as one’s scientific source and Stiles had felt it appropriate to child proof certain sites from his dad following the mention of the concept of ‘knots’ alone. The whole thing still haunted his nightmares on a regular basis.
Realistically, their age difference wasn't that big in the grand scheme of things. If they were both a little older, no one would so much as blink. But they weren't – or rather, Stiles wasn't. In reality, he was still a seventeen year old high school student with a Sheriff father while Derek was a man slash werewolf in his early twenties. That, combined with the fact that there was always so much going on and that they were both carrying far too much trauma and baggage to be ready for any kind of healthy relationship meant that even if they were both harboring some feelings for each other, now really wasn’t the time to act on it.
Maybe at some undetermined point in the future, Stiles had always thought, when all of the disasters that kept popping up in Beacon Hills were finally behind them and they were both in a better, more settled place in life, they could give this thing between them a try.
But then Derek had a very unexpected close call. This one far closer than anything they’ve dealt with before. Stiles could still remember the way Derek’s blood coated his hands as he was bleeding out right there in front of him, could remember the unnatural stillness of his body, the cold, clammy feel of his skin.
Stiles was sure that he wasn’t going to make it. That he’d already lost him and it was without a doubt the worst moment of his entire life. The fact that Derek had survived the extent of his injuries was a miracle that no one could quite explain and one that Stiles swore to himself he’d never take for granted. He usually loved a mystery but he couldn’t bring himself to care about the why and how of it all. All that mattered was that Derek was alive and well and that when Stiles leaned in to kiss him in the aftermath, Derek met him halfway.
Tomorrow wasn’t promised to anyone. They knew that better than most. And after nearly losing each other so many times, it just didn’t make sense to keep waiting for some arbitrary concept of age when Stiles was only a few months shy from turning eighteen and becoming a legal adult. Besides, it was hard to take back such a public love confession, so they didn't even try. The rest was, as they said, history.
Okay, so maybe it had only been three months, twelve days and six hours since they got together but who was keeping count? What mattered was that by some miracle, they just worked. They were both traumatized beyond belief but that just made them closer. Not in some weird codependent way either, though there was no denying that just knowing about each other’s worst parts helped a lot when it came to trust and understanding where the other was coming from at all times.
They found comfort in each other on the rough days and nightmare filled nights. They made one another better; healthier and happier in ways that neither of them has been in far too long. No one had thought that they would last, not really. They’ve dismissed it as just a heat of a moment thing but now, no one could deny it. That was probably the only reason his dad didn’t immediately grab his shotgun when Stiles fessed up to him that he was now dating Derek Hale.
Most days, Stiles still couldn’t believe that this was his life. Sure, werewolves and banshees and hunters and kanimas and the rest of the supernatural creatures that had a hard on for Beacon Hills in particular were crazy enough. But dating the Derek Hale, the hottest werewolf slash guy on the face of this Earth who for some reason seemed to like him back? Fucking insanity, if you asked him.
So with legal adulthood just around the corner, with the surprising lack of mortal dangers as of late and with the hottest boyfriend in the history of boyfriends by his side, this really should have been the best birthday of Stiles’ life, right?
Well…
The thing was, due to their age difference and the fact that Stiles was still an underage high school student, there had always been this unspoken agreement between the two of them – and literally every single person around them – that they were going to be taking things slow. You know, sexually speaking.
With his dad being the Sheriff, the topic had come up straight away and Stiles couldn’t even blame him. If anything, he was grateful that he had a dad who cared enough about his wellbeing to make sure that he was both safe and happy. And after a very long conversation between his dad and Derek, where Derek probably had to make a blood oath promising not to defile Stiles’ body until he was of legal age (at least that what Stiles assumed happened; Derek didn’t want to talk about it, so there was probably some mild life threatening going on, too) they officially had his father’s blessing.
And Stiles was perfectly fine with taking things slow, don’t get him wrong. All him and Derek have done so far was kiss and cuddle and even that was hard to wrap his mind around most days. And even though he was perfectly content with that, he was also ready to take things to the next level.
And by next level he meant asking Derek to spend the night for the first time. Something they hadn’t yet done out of respect for his dad’s rules. And Derek? He’d immediately said yes, which came as no surprise. Stiles had seen just how depressing his loft looked and after all the tragedy that took place there? Yeah, no sane person would ever be able to get a good night’s sleep there.
And it should have been perfect, right? All of Stiles’ closest family and friends were here to celebrate his eighteenth birthday and Stiles was happy, he really was. It was just that he felt that there was certain expectation on what was going to happen tonight as soon as he and Derek were all alone and he wasn’t sure how he felt about it.
Everyone was thinking it, too. He’d been stuck dealing with their endless teasing and crass innuendos for weeks now, which he always handled like a champ, even though the thought of any of their implications had his stomach in knots that didn’t feel anything like the butterflies he still got whenever Derek so much as held his hand.
Hell, even his own father had not so subtly informed him that he was working a night shift for the first time in months and that he’d have the house all to himself and he didn’t want to hear a single thing about it right before he’d left for work. Stiles refused to even look at the box of condoms and lube that came as part of his birthday gift that morning that he’d immediately shoved to the back of his nightstand because just… no. He had enough nightmare fuel to last him multiple lifetimes, thank you very much.
This entire night, he’d put up with the teasing comments and winks thrown at him across the room and Derek never said anything, even though he was far from stupid and his werewolf hearing had to have picked up on most of it and Stiles was just about ready to explode from frustration. Just a few months ago he was putting up with everyone’s concern about him dating an older guy and now they wouldn’t shut up about their nonexistent sex life?
Case in point, Scott of all people, the loudest of the doubters, asking him about his plans with Derek for tonight.
“That’s cool,” Scott said, putting his hands into his pockets, which to anyone who was able to read Scott like a book was an obvious sign that he was feeling uncomfortable. Stiles sympathized. “Uh… have fun?”
“Scott, go home.”
Scott’s shoulders sagged in obvious relief but he still looked conflicted. “Are you sure? Because I don’t mind sticking around if you want me to.”
Stiles had to stop himself from accepting Scott’s very generous but also completely insane offer, as that would only make things even more awkward for them all, so he nodded and walked his best friend to the front door. “I’m sure. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”
After saying his final goodbye to Scott, Stiles returned to the kitchen and started cleaning up the rest of the mess. He was hallway through a truly enormous pile of dishes when a pair of hands wrapped around his waist and he was pulled into a strong chest.
“What do you think you’re doing?” his boyfriend asked, placing a kiss to the back of his neck, making goosebumps rise all over Stiles’ body.
“What does it look like I’m doing?” Stiles replied, melting further into Derek’s strong, yet gentle hold.
“It looks to me like you’re about to let me take care of the rest of the mess while you go get ready for bed,” Derek said and Stiles was about to protest, if only out of principle because he fucking hated doing the dishes but Derek pulled his signature move and shut Stiles up with another kiss. “Go,” Derek nudged him in the direction of the stairs. “I’ll join you as soon as I’m done here.”
Stiles wasn’t dumb enough to refuse such an offer and after another quick peck on the lips, he hurried up to his room, his momentarily forgotten anxiety flaring up again. He made sure that the bathroom door was locked before he undressed, which was ridiculous since Derek wasn’t in the habit of barging in on him while he was in the shower and would be seeing him naked soon enough. But the simple act of turning the lock was enough to soothe his nerves, and they needed some serious soothing action right about now.
A nice hot shower should help with that, he decided but as he undressed, he couldn’t help but linger on his reflection in the mirror and he hated the immediate insecurity that gripped him tight and refused to let go.
It was a simple fact that Derek could easily be a male model if he wanted to be. He already looked like he was cut straight from a block of marble and his amazing personality that shined through all the hurt and grief more and more every single day only enhanced his outside beauty. He was a stunning man, everything that someone could wish for in a boyfriend and Stiles was… Well, he was not.
He wasn’t horrifically ugly or anything, he knew that. But he also wasn’t anywhere near Derek’s league either, as was constantly pointed out to him in jokes that had been thrown in his direction by countless of people, though even the ones said in friendly jest still left their mark. Stiles always laughed off the jokes and the comments and fired back some of his own but by now, with his body weathered by the constant fight to survive and scarred in ways that no werewolf would ever experience, his self-esteem was curled up in a fetal position, sobbing somewhere in a deep, dark corner of Stiles’ soul.
He was too skinny, he couldn’t help but notice now as he twisted and turned in the mirror, evaluating his body from all angles. His knees were too knobby, his bones looking impossibly sharp where they poked out under his too pale skin, and yet even while stick thin, he was still stuck with a too soft belly. Where Derek’s skin was perfectly tanned and near flawless, Stiles’ was sickly pale and covered in blemishes and moles alike, and that was without mentioning all the stretch marks and literal battle scars that littered his body. He was young enough that maybe there was still some hope of him growing into himself that bit more at least, but that sure as hell wasn’t going to happen within the next few minutes much to his despair.
And god, the fucking hair. It was everywhere, from his chest down to his stomach and his legs. And, worst of all, between his legs too. He kept things nice and trimmed in that area but shit, was he supposed to completely shave or something? He wasn’t sure of the proper procedure and now it was too late to do anything about it. He wasn’t even going to think about cleaning certain other areas, depending on what was on the menu tonight because he was freaking out enough as it was.
He was so startled by the knock on the door that he almost jumped out of his skin.
“Stiles?” Derek asked, his voice muffled by the door. “Is everything okay in there?”
“Everything’s fine,” Stiles called out, though he was sure that Derek would know it was a lie even without listening to his heartbeat. “Just give me a minute.”
Derek didn’t respond, but Stiles could tell he was still in the room by the creak his bed made when Derek sat on it. Stiles cringed. No wonder his dad was very conveniently working the night shift all of a sudden.
Shuddering, Stiles threw his dirty clothes into the hamper and took a shower that was much longer than necessary. Partly to make sure that he was squeaky clean for any of tonight’s potential activities and partly because he was stalling.
He only stepped out of the shower when the water turned cold but that didn’t stop him from stalling some more. He dried himself with unnecessary thoroughness and then pulled on his pajama pants just as slowly. Finally, with his old sleep shirt on and with no time left to waste, Stiles gave himself another silent pep talk and walked out of the bathroom, not giving himself any time to change his mind.
The pep talk didn’t work very well in the end. Because even if all the lights were now off, he could still see the silhouette of Derek’s body underneath the covers and it got Stiles’ heart racing for all the wrong reasons. He was being ridiculous. He was the one who’d invited Derek to stay the night in the first place. He shouldn’t be second guessing it now, not when he didn’t have a single doubt in his head that Derek would take perfect care of him, just like he always did.
But he was just so worried that Derek was going to change his mind about this whole thing the moment he saw Stiles naked for the first time, or that he’d ruin the whole thing by being his typical awkward self. He talked a big game, but he was still very much a virgin whose only knowledge about sex came from the Internet and just the thought of him messing this up and it changing their relationship for the worst was more than a little upsetting.
And how the hell was he supposed to know if he was even ready to take the next step in their relationship anyway?
“Are you going to stand there all night or are you going to join me?” Derek said, almost invisible in the dark room and Stiles figured that if he couldn’t see Derek, then logically Derek couldn’t see him either, which was a huge relief. But then he remembered that Derek was a werewolf and he had one hell of a night vision so it was almost impossible for him not to see at least a little bit of Stiles. Fucking werewolves using their super senses to shit all over Stiles’ flawless logic.
“I’m coming, jeez. Hold your horses.” Stiles approached the bed, and realizing that he had no idea on what to do now, he decided to just come clean before he made an even bigger fool of himself. “I’m just not sure how this is supposed to work.” Was he supposed to get undressed and perform some sort of striptease, or did Derek want to be the one taking off his clothes? Maybe clothes wouldn’t be coming off at all? Or maybe just partially? Stiles just didn’t know. And he despised not knowing things.
There was a click, and the room was illuminated by a soft orange glow coming from his bedside lamp. Stiles could now see Derek clearly and holy shit, Derek was already shirtless. God only knew if he was wearing anything else at all. Shockingly enough, Stiles hoped Derek wasn’t completely naked under there because right now even a shirtless Derek was intimidating enough. And now that the light was on, Stiles couldn’t even pretend not to see the look of disgust that was pretty much inevitable at this point.
Derek lifted up one side of the covers and Stiles sighed in relief when he noticed that Derek still had his underwear on, at least for the time being. As a werewolf, Derek ran hot. If they wanted to cuddle each other to sleep, it was in both of their best interest for Derek to wear the least layers possible. And yet, it still took him completely off guard like he was some kind of, well, virgin.
“Come here,” Derek said and seeing no way out of this situation, Stiles followed his boyfriend’s instructions and climbed into bed. Derek wasted no time in pulling him closer into the now all too familiar position where he turned into Derek’s personal cuddling toy and then there was that clicking sound again, meaning the lamp was now turned off. And yet Stiles still didn’t dare to open his eyes.
Stiles didn’t know what he was expecting to happen next, but it certainly wasn’t Derek giving him a quick peck on the lips, whispering, “Goodnight,” and nuzzling into the back of his neck with a pleased little sigh, his hand slipping under his shirt just enough to press against his bare belly, forever seeking that skin on skin contact and not moving an inch lower into riskier territory. A perfect, cuddly gentleman.
Stiles was torn about being relieved that Derek didn’t want to have sex with him or being offended and kind of wanting to cry because Derek didn’t want to have sex with him. And Stiles wouldn’t be Stiles if he didn’t immediately latch onto the latter.
It was fine, he tried to tell himself as tears stung at his eyes. Having Derek in his bed and under the covers for once – and did he mention mostly naked too, because goddamn – and that alone felt monumental enough. And with how tenderly Derek was holding him, making that soft rumbly noise in the back of his throat Stiles loved to refer as purring just to get him worked up, he knew that Derek wanted to be here. He just… didn’t want him for anything more than that, apparently.
And again, it was fine. Totally, 100% fine. Except for all the ways that it was anything but fine and Stiles was quickly losing his cool about it.
“Hey,” Derek asked when Stiles couldn’t hold back a sniffle. “You okay?”
Stiles nodded, shoving his face deeper into the pillow to hide it but Derek could probably smell the salt in his tears, the freak, and he didn’t let him hide. Instead, he turned on the lamp again and urged Stiles to uncurl from his pathetic little self pity cocoon and swiped at the tear that clung to his cheek.
“What’s wrong?” Derek asked, looking and sounding more than a little bit distressed himself and that only made Stiles feel that much worse. “Did I do something wrong?”
“No.” Stiles quickly shook his head, not wanting Derek to feel too guilty about something that he couldn’t help. “It’s not your fault you’re not attracted to me.”
Derek frowned at him even harder. “Not attracted to you? Stiles-“
Derek tried but Stiles couldn’t bear to hear his empty platitudes and excuses. “It’s fine,” he said, though the wobble of his voice made it clear that it was not fine in the slightest. “I get it. It was fun while it lasted but a part me of always knew that this whole thing we had going on had an expiration date. You don’t have to keep pretending for my sake. I can take the rejection.”
Stiles will admit, after Derek’s too close brush with death? He did come off as a bit desperate. And after yet another trauma and with not much of a support system, maybe Derek had latched onto the first person willing to give him a comforting touch. Or maybe he’d just felt so guilty about putting Stiles through yet another emotional wringer that he’d thought oh well, might as well give him something to tide him over, like the self sacrificing idiot that he was.
“You’re an idiot,” Derek told him now, none too gently, almost angry. “Do you really think I’d be with you if I didn’t genuinely want to be?”
Stiles scoffed. “If you’re so into me, then why didn’t you make a move tonight?”
Stiles wasn’t exactly shy, but as the more experienced guy in this bed, he’d expected Derek to take the lead. And yet, he hadn’t gotten a single suggestive comment or touch, just a kiss goodnight and that was that. Zero desire or interest to lead to anything more. Either his dad had seriously scared him straight or he just wasn’t interested in Stiles in a sexual way.
“I’m a werewolf, remember? I could smell how nervous you’ve been this whole night,” Derek told him flatly and Stiles could immediately feel himself shrink into the bed because of course, of course Derek could tell. Stiles had gotten a bit cocky when it came to fooling his dad and his friends into believing that he was perfectly fine, but Derek had superhuman abilities and was not afraid to use them, unlike Scott who was still utterly oblivious to the world around him. “How anxious and almost scared you were when you climbed into the same bed and I was not about to push you into something you very clearly didn’t want. I’m not a fucking monster, Stiles.”
Despite his harsh words, Derek pulled Stiles into his chest, more for the sake of his own reassurance than for Stiles’, judging by the way he breathed in his scent and pushed into Stiles’ arms where they wrapped around him on instinct alone.
“I know you’re not,” Stiles mumbled into his boyfriend’s bare and impossibly warm chest, sighing when Derek’s hand ran through his hair. “And it’s not that I don’t want to. It’s just…”
“Just what?” Derek prompted when Stiles’ silence dragged out in a very uncharacteristic manner to him.
“Our relationship has always felt a bit too good to be true, you know?” Stiles said, clinging to Derek a bit harder, liked he’d vanish from his hold any minute now once he realized that yeah, Stiles’ worst insecurities were making some very good points actually. “I mean, you’re like way out of my league on so many levels and I guess a part of me has been waiting for the moment you’d drop the act and reveal that this whole thing has been one terribly cruel prank.”
And obviously Stiles knew that it wasn’t a prank, but it did feel a bit like charity anyway. They just didn’t make any sense on paper, and people spending so long pointing that out even through jokes had seriously gotten to him. Burrowed deep into his subconsciousness until he couldn’t not think about it.
“I get it,” Derek eventually said and now it was his turn to hold on tightly to Stiles when he flinched at his words. “You feel too good to be true, too.”
“Me?” Stiles asked, incredulous and Derek huffed out a laugh.
“Yes, you. I’ve been waiting for you to realize just how big of a fuck up I am from the moment we first got together. For you to realize that you could do so much better, someone who’s smarter and better adjusted. Happier, more open. Someone whose future is just as bright as your own.”
“Derek-“
“I’m constantly scared that I’ll drag you down with me like I did with everyone else who was unfortunate enough to get too close to me,” Derek confessed in a whisper. “But I’m also too selfish to give you up.”
“Good,” Stiles said, pulling back just enough to face Derek. He gave him a firm kiss on his lips. “Because if we’re both insecure idiots, then we might as well be insecure idiots together because I am definitely not letting you go either. I have my stupid moments, but I’m not crazy.”
“I can live with that,” Derek told him and their kiss was longer this time, slow and deep and very thorough. Though not sexual at all, Stiles couldn’t help but note. And while yeah, throwing out all of his insecurities out there and finding out that they weren’t as unique and universally true as he’d initially felt they were helped ease some of his worries, it still didn’t erase them. Derek could still want him as a person and not find him even remotely attractive after all.
“So, just to double check,” he started and Derek groaned. “You don’t find me like, gross or hideous? Your dick doesn’t shrivel up whenever you so much think about me naked?”
As a response, Derek manhandled him until Stiles was settled fully in his lap and he could feel where Derek was half hard, pressing into Stiles’ modest behind as the undeniable proof of his interest.
“What do you think?” Derek asked with a lifted eyebrow and Stiles sputtered some nonsense sounds, so flustered he was rendered speechless. Derek was nice enough to shift him away immediately until they were once again sprawled on their sides, but this time facing each other, eyes impossibly soft as he took in Stiles’ sudden appearance of nerves again. “It’s okay if you’re not ready yet,” he assured him, releasing Stiles’ lip from the prison of his own gnawing teeth. “Just because you turned eighteen doesn’t mean that you’re suddenly ready to have sex.”
Stiles wanted to argue, to say that he was ready, that he should be ready. Or at least he thought he would be? It was all so very confusing. Hell, not that long ago he was practically begging anyone to have sex with him. And now that he actually had a gorgeous man willing to have sex with him, he should have been foaming at the mouth to get it on. And yet here he was, feeling pathetically grateful that Derek had called him out on his act and didn’t let things get further than he was comfortable with, even if he wanted to do it himself.
He really hit the jackpot when it came to boyfriends, didn’t he?
Stiles let out a breath, and he fully relaxed for the first time tonight. But he still couldn’t help but wonder, “You’re not disappointed?”
Derek reached out for his hand and held it tightly in his impossibly warm ones. “Never,” he said firmly, “I don’t want you think that ever again, okay? I would never be disappointed in you because of something like this. Never.”
The graveness and the urgency of his words made Stiles curse himself internally. He was so caught up in his own worries and insecurities that he never once stopped to think about Derek’s own history and the Kate of it all. They never really talked about it, but Stiles knew enough to know that Derek likely wasn’t any more ready for sex back then than Stiles was now. But it had been forced upon him, and horrified, Stiles couldn’t help but think about how the history might have repeated itself tonight without him even realizing it if Derek wasn’t his amazing self.
“Derek,” he said slowly, carefully, more than a little aware that he was playing with fire. “If I had been ready tonight, would you have been ready to take that step with me?”
“Didn’t I just show you proof that I was?” Derek countered, the tone of his voice more than a little defensive but Stiles couldn’t let him get away with it, not with something this important. Arousal was not the same as actively wanting sex, even Stiles knew that with his very limited experience. If he had sex every time he got hard, he’d never do anything else.
“You did and I will be jerking off to that for weeks to come, but that’s not what I was asking and you know it,” he said, staring up at Derek with pleading eyes, even though he had a feeling he already knew the answer. “Are you ready to have sex with me?”
Derek gulped, then hesitantly shook his head. “I know you’re eighteen now,” Derek was quick to explain, before Stiles could even react to his admission. “A legal adult. But you’re still in high school and I- Sometimes I can’t help but wonder if what I’m doing with you is any better than what she did to me.”
“Absolutely not,” Stiles didn’t hesitate to say, nipping that train of thought right in the bud.
“I know it’s not the same, but I also know that just wanting you like this sometimes throws me in a spiral of guilt so intense I can barely breathe. If we went any further- I don’t know if I’d be able to live with myself. Maybe when you graduate?” Derek was quick to offer, like this was some sort of negotiation, like graduating high school would somehow make it click in both of their heads that yeah, now was the time to get it on. “If you’re feeling ready then of course. There’s never going to be a timeline on that.”
“You do know that applies to both of us, right?” Stiles asked and Derek’s lack of a response was answer enough. “Derek.”
“I…” Derek trailed off and Stiles cursed Kate and every single other person who made Derek feel like he was only worth it for his body and what it could give them. And then Kate some more because she deserved it.
Figuring it was safe now, since the mood had been thoroughly killed, he clambered his way on top of Derek and settled once again on his lap. Derek looked up at him, wary and unsure and Stiles only sighed.
“How about we just take things slow?” he suggested, wrapping his arms around Derek’s shoulders and playing with the ends of his hair. His boyfriend really was like an oversized puppy in a lot of ways, immediately melting into any pet that Stiles gave him. “I know I’m not exactly the most patient guy in the world but I’m not a monster either. I’d never forgive myself if I pushed you into something you didn’t want.”
“And I don’t know about you,” he continued, blushing a little at the reverent look in Derek’s eyes, “but I for one have been very much enjoying this slow burn thing we’ve got going on. Just getting to be with you like this,” he said, gesturing at their intimate position, “kissing and holding hands and cuddling? It still feels unreal. And I know it might be hard to believe with some of the things I say, but I am not in any rush for either one of us to get naked just yet, okay? Not until we’re both ready for more. Got it?”
Derek, who’d gotten increasingly more relaxed throughout Stiles’ impassionate speech, only gave him a fond look and said, with a little curl to his lips, “That sounds perfect to me.”
Stiles grinned, proud of both of them but especially Derek for battling his emotional constipation to have this extremely important conversation before either one of them got hurt. “We might not be nailing each other tonight, but we’re definitely nailing this whole communication thing. Go team!”
He lifted his hand for a high five and Derek only rolled his eyes.
“Come on,” Stiles said with a smirk and threw in a wriggle of both his eyebrows and his fingers into the mix. “You know you want to.”
Derek rolled his eyes even harder but he did reach out a hand – only to tangle their fingers together when their palms met and bringing them to his lips for a kiss.
“Sap,” Stiles said, accusing even though he couldn’t hide the way his heart tripped up in his chest at the romantic gesture. Then, he yelped when Derek used that hold to tug him down and wrestled him back into their original position, with Stiles on his side and a werewolf using him as his own personal body pillow. “You’re such a snuggle wolf,” he said, laughing when it earned him a playful growl.
“Go to sleep, Stiles,” Derek ordered in his low, growly voice and for once, Stiles gave in without complaint. How could he argue, when he was so cozy lying here in his bed, surrounded by warmth both inside and out and all thanks to Derek, his cuddly werewolf boyfriend he definitely wasn’t going to be having sex with, not tonight and probably not for a lot of nights to come either.
If he’d told this to his past, insatiably horny teenage self, he’d think he’d lost his mind. But his teenage self had also thought that a buzzcut and looking for a dead body in the woods late at night was a good idea too so what did he know?
As far as present Stiles was concerned? This was the best birthday ever.