Work Text:
Zenitsu is getting tired of the student council or the hashira, as everyone in the school calls them. They're the nine best students of their school; they're the strongest, have the best grades and everyone wants to be their friend or date them.
But that's not the worst part. The worst of it was the day they decided to walk in Zenitsu's classroom to introduce themselves and (according to Rengoku) offer their help to anyone who needed it. Although Zenitsu is sure no one would want to approach Shinazugawa, Iguro or Tokito willingly.
A few girls were already sighing dreamily, looking at some of them with heart eyes (mostly at Uzui, whom Zenitsu especially hates because he has three girlfriends already). Well... a few boys too, but they were a little bit less obvious than the girls.
But even that wasn't that bad. Then Tanjirou had to raise his hand, everyone looked at him then (all Zenitsu's classmates love him dearly, even Inosuke who wanted to fight him when he met him, but now acts like a tamed wolf pup around him, just like Genya).
The Pillars stared at him for a couple of seconds before Kocho told him he could speak and when Tanjirou volunteered to help them with whatever they needed with the most sincere and kind smile possible, the hashira forgot everyone else...
That was the moment they fell in love with Tanjirou, Zenitsu's best friend, and it's been a nightmare ever since.
Now they make the most ridiculous excuses to walk into their classroom and bring Tanjirou all kinds of things, things that only the sunshine of Zenitsu's class would mistake as a friendly gesture, even though everyone can see they're romantic gifts.
They greet him in the hallway every single morning; Kanroji uses all her charm on him, constantly fluttering her eyelashes at him and sometimes taking his hand until another hashira gets jealous and draws Tanjirou's attention to themselves.
Rengoku always brings him food during the break and sometimes feeds him himself, even though Tanjirou assures him he can perfectly do that on his own.
Even Tomioka, the "loner" the one who's usually silent and serious, sometime takes Tanjirou in his arms and sits him on his lap as he smiles at him.
Then there's Uzui and his girlfriends who adore Tanjirou as well and encourage their boyfriend to show off in front of Tanjirou at every opportunity he has; Zenitsu has lost count of how many times the Pillar has flexed his huge arms in front of Tanjirou so the boy makes a comment on how strong he is.
Himejima doesn't show off, but he doesn't need to, he's the tallest boy Zenitsu has ever seen and he looks even stronger than Uzui. But he's just as bad as the rest of them. He's constantly near Tanjirou, running his fingers through the boy's soft features and hair because he claims he likes to have an idea of how Tanjirou looks like, but Zenitsu knows he does that just to touch him.
Sometimes Kocho brings flowers for Tanjirou and puts a couple of them in his hair, making the other members of the student council turn into a complete mess because Tanjirou looks cuter than usual.
Well, if Zenitsu is completely honest, Tanjirou does look adorable with flowers on his hair; Genya always turns red whenever he looks at him.
Shinazugawa is not romantic or soft, according to himself, but he's constantly growling and glaring viciously at anyone who looks at Tanjirou with a little bit too much interest...
Because of course the hashira are not the only ones who are in love with Tanjirou... Zenitsu has seen other students throw besotted smiles at the boy when he's not looking.
It's a nightmare.
Iguro has made Zenitsu's scream a couple of times because no matter which tree Tanjirou decides to sit under, Iguro is always sitting on one of its branches, waiting the perfect moment to say "hi" to Tanjirou, scare Zenitsu and piss off Inosuke and Genya in the process.
Tokito is like a cat who enjoys sleeping on Tanjirou's lap and hisses at everyone else (or sometimes throws rocks at them) because he just has one favorite person and that's Kamado Tanjirou; Zenitsu swears he heard him purr once when Tanjirou ran his fingers through his hair.
Zenitsu is not the only one who knows what's going on at this point; the whole school does and some students are starting to make bets... They have their favorites, the ones they're rooting for and others just want to know which hashira is going to be the chosen one.
Although that's going to take a while because Tanjirou is completely oblivious to everything.
The whole thing is ridiculous.