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I looked at my handler as he stared at the wall when I brought up his service weapon, hesitant to even say a word. His eyes were glossed over, distant as he recalled the stunt I pulled.
“Just a little more… and you would’ve died. I could’ve killed you.” He mumbled with resentment in his tone, eyes soon traveling towards his hands as he stared at the rough bumps on his hands that mostly smoothened over the lack of rigorous use.
I gripped the sheets with my other hand as one was bound in order to avoid disturbing the lines connected to me.
“Agent Phoenix, what you did was incredibly reckless! That was the most dangerous stunt you ever pulled!” He gritted his teeth as he clenched his fists. “Days of no contact and then you… Don’t you know how worried I was?!”
My shoulders slumped as I fought the tears forming in my eyes, unable to say any word in my defense. I knew. I know…
“You made me shoot you.”
Five words. Five words and I find myself covering my face, uncaring of the tug on my hand at the sudden movement, skin slightly pulling.
“I trusted your aim.” I mumbled as I used my hand to feel the IV line on my hand, the cold plastic filled with liquid.
“I don’t. I keep having nightmares. What if I shot you down instead of the trap right behind you? What if you flinched?”
I didn’t need to imagine. Because I did. But he doesn’t know that.
“I keep seeing you bleeding out because I aimed wrong, the light leaving your eyes. I know I’ve witnessed agents living out their last moments before. But you… I… it was my hands that actually caused it. I was there right in front of you. My hands were wet with your blood and I couldn’t stop the bleeding. I had to be by your side as I realized you’re no longer hearing me.”
“Go ahead and shoot.” I looked at him with a smirk, arms crossed as I raised a brow. “Because if you don’t, your agent will die.”
My stomach dropped at the words I’d been spewing for the past days, purposely provoking people in order to get my way. I need him to shoot. If I take a step away from my spot, they will trigger a trap that will kill both of us.
“Why should I believe you? You killed my previous agents in front of me! And positioned their cameras so I can watch from the screen, helpless to do anything?!” His hands were shaking as he refused to fire, keeping his gun in its holster.
“This is what your agent would’ve wanted. You want them free, don’t you? Then shoot. me.” My hands were shaking as the identity of the person he sees dawned on me. It was a name he muttered he wished to never encounter again, someone with the cruelty that left him torn to pieces with each recollection.
His eyes widened as my telekinesis made him hold onto the gun, a confirmation that I wanted this too, if not outright need it.
“Your agent needs you to shoot. Go ahead. Fire at me.”
Something must’ve clicked when I moved his gun to aim over my shoulder. His gaze sharpened as he pulled the trigger and-
- everything described in his nightmares happened exactly as he told.
“Phoenix, I don’t know what I would’ve done if I lost you that time. Please. Please don’t do that again. I don’t want to lose you. Not again. Please, Phoenix.”
I looked away, knowing I can never keep that promise. With that incident revealed to both the agency and Zoraxis, it’ll only be a matter of time before Zor finds the intel that caused the entire incident. When that happens, it will happen again.