Archive of Our Own ^beta

Setting out

It’s a long hike. Rhaenyra feels like an imposter within ten minutes of stepping out of her car, after she sees the faded sign that says ‘Welcome to Dragonstone National Park. Stark Trail is not recommended for inexperienced hikers.’

It’s not that she’s never hiked before; she’s done one of the trails around King’s Landing with Harwin at least once a month since she was fourteen, but it hardly feels like qualification enough to call herself experienced. Where they go she barely even loses phone service.

She brushes aside part of an overgrown bramble bush to get a full look at the leaflet she can see pinned to the sign. It’s faded from the sun but the bold red letters that read ‘You’re in their country, learn to live with bears’ are still visible.

“Fucking lovely,” she mumbles.

From here she can’t even see the tower.

She lifts up the chunky red headphones around her neck and sets off through the trees.

-

She’s almost two hours behind the schedule the ranger estimated for her, when she reaches the sign that lets her know she still has another 20 miles before she reaches the tower. She walks a little on from it before she admits defeat and pulls out her sleeping bag to settle down for the night. 

It’s warm at least, so she doesn’t need to start a fire and then feel guilty about it. It feels like it would be a faux pas to cause the very thing she’s meant to be watching for before she even officially starts the job.

Part of her wishes it wasn’t so nice, that it would rain. She feels in desperate need of a shower, the fine sheen of sweat that covers her making her feel clammy and disgusting. She reaches up to touch the short cropped hair that she could probably squeeze the sweat from, and chuckles to herself as she remembers when she cut it.

“Oh we’re at that stage, are we?” Laena had asked, as Rhaenyra came out of the bathroom still clutching a pair of scissors and a lock of her own hair.

“What stage?”

“The dramatic lesbian haircut phase.”

Rhaenyra stared at her blankly.

“You know, like Kimberly from Power Rangers, or Quinn Fabray.”

“Quinn Fabray isn’t a lesbian.”

“Cousin,” Laena fixed her with a look far more steely than the situation warranted, “be serious.”

She supposes Laena hadn’t been entirely wrong about her actions being dramatic, though she isn’t sure what her sexuality has to do with that.

Cutting her hair and taking an insane job were wrapped up in something else entirely.

She rolls over onto her stomach and pulls her phone from inside her bag. It’s barely alive after 8 straight hours of music and the excessive collection of podcasts she’s downloaded in hopes of not going crazy over the next 3 months.

There’s even more crammed onto the laptop in her pack, a backlog of television shows and books she’d asked her cousins for before leaving. If secluding herself in the wilderness for a quarter of the year doesn’t finally get her to watch What We Do in the Shadows nothing will.

“I’m begging you to watch anything that started after 2010, babes.”

Luckily there’s a power bank buried somewhere at the bottom of her bag.

She opens the photos app and flicks past some screenshots to get to what she’s looking for: photos from the party they’d thrown her last weekend, one that had felt entirely inappropriate but Rhaenyra knew was just the excuse her family needed to get pissed and relax. It was the most normal anything had felt in a while and it was almost enough to make Rhaenyra pull out of the job completely, had she not woken up the next morning feeling once again entirely out of place.

Laenor, chatting away animatedly to Helaena, who looked hesitant but like she was enjoying herself despite her nerves. Aegon, already half asleep on the sofa next to his sister. Rhaenyra tries not to linger on the fact he’d probably taken something.

Rhaenys and Corlys completely in their own world, slow dancing to what Rhaenyra knows had actually been some shitty house track.

Daemon, mid swig, head thrown back with a bottle in hand. Over his shoulder the brooding black bat that was Aemond, staring directly into the camera from across the room; the left lens of his glasses blacked out.

(Laena had cropped that one when she’d seen it, sending the pixilated close up of Aemond in their recently created family group chat any time someone said something she decided it was a funny response to, much to Aemond’s chagrin.)

All of her siblings and her two cousins squashed into frame around her, making it appear like they were crammed into the phone itself. Aegon’s arm slung awkwardly around her shoulder, Laenor pressing a kiss to her cheek. They looked close. She set it as her lock screen..

“Okay bears,” she says quietly into the night, rolling over to stare up at the canopy of trees. “If you could not eat me that would be great.”

-

The sleep is terrible and Rhaenyra basically drags herself the rest of the way through sheer determination to not spend another night sleeping on the ground. It takes her the entire day and the sun is already setting when she sees it. 

It’s taller than she expected, she’d assumed most of the height would be made up from the peak it was on, but the tower itself has to be at least eighty feet tall. Four solid wooden legs stretch up towards the sky, various beams stabilising the space between them. All of it is supporting the single room that is to be her home for the next few months. The cab, it was called, if she remembered right. 

Snaking around the outside is a long staircase up to the thin balcony surrounding the room, an overhanging roof sheltering the walkway.

The whole thing has been whitewashed, and even though the paint is old and flaking it still stands out against the dark sky and the vast sea of green trees on every side.

She sits on the bottom step of the tower as she gets there, dropping her backpack at her feet to take five minutes before her climb. She’s not even sure if she has the willpower to put sheets on the bed before falling into it once she’s at the top.

Eventually she gets up, worried she might fall asleep where she sits if she doesn’t. The climb makes her calves burn. Her hand is covered in flakes of disintegrating old paint by the time she reaches the top.

The walls of the cab are entirely covered with windows along each side, though they’re all boarded up when she reaches the top. She takes the key she’s been given from the front pocket of her bag and fumbles with it in the dark until the door is unlocked.

It’s just as dark inside, the only source of light a small blinking red bulb next to a main power switch. She flips it and the entire room floods with light, momentarily blinding her after being outside.

She’s barely had time to drop her backpack onto the bed when a crackling noise makes her jump.

“Hello, Rook’s Rest?”

The voice is deep and breathy, and Rhaenyra takes a moment to register that oh, right, that’s her.

The handheld radio sits on a charging stand by the door, a half filled bar at the front showing it has some battery already despite the fact the power has just been turned back on. It blares to life again.

“Rook’s Rest?”

Rhaenyra brushes her hands off on her shirt and shakes out the unexpected nervousness she feels before reaching for the walkie talkie. It feels solid in her hand, her only lifeline to anyone else for the next few months.

“Uh… yeah, that’s me?”

“Happy to see you’ve arrived safely, though I was expecting you two hours ago,” the voice says.

“Yeah well, it’s been a long couple days. I’m sorry, who is this?”

“I swear they don’t tell you lot anything anymore. Well you can’t see it right now, you’ll have to get those boards off in the morning, but I’m in the next tower over. I’m Alicent Hightower.”

Rhaenyra can’t help but chuckle at the fact someone named Hightower has taken a job as a fire lookout; luckily she’s not holding down the button on her radio and can’t be heard.

“Well… nice to ‘meet’ you, Alicent. I’m Rhaenyra.”

“Rhaenyra?”

“What’s wrong with Rhaenyra?”

“Nothing, sorry, it’s just a bit… different, is all.”

“My family is Valyrian, we get that a lot.”

“Sorry. Well, Rhaenyra, I’ll leave you to get settled in, just wanted to say hello and make sure everything is okay.”

“Are you my boss?”

It’s an innocent enough question but she’s tired and feels kind of foggy, and she knows it slips out sounding more like she’s irritated at the idea than she intended.

Alicent hums down the line, and it crackles slightly around the noise.

“I’m your supervisor. Just keep your eye out for fires, you can pass anything you spot along to me and I’ll report it in, but I’m not about to be on your ass every minute of the day if that’s what you’re asking.”

“Good to know.”

“So what’s wrong with you?”

“Excuse me, what?”

“People only really take this job if there’s something they want to get away from, so what’s wrong with you?”

Rhaenyra feels quiet anger quickly begin to bubble up from somewhere deep inside her and while Alicent’s question appears to be meant playfully enough, she’s not ready for it.

“Look I just got finished dragging myself here for two days straight, I don’t wanna do this.”

“Oh, come on.”

“What’s wrong with you ?” Rhaenyra retaliates.

“Take a guess.”

“Will you leave me alone if I do?”

“Sure.”

“Fine.” Rhaenyra rolls her eyes, racking her brain for anything scandalous enough. “Your dad married you off to an older man to get his family's money and now you’re out here trying to avoid your horrible children and the fact you’ve actually been in love with his son since before you were even married.” 

“Oh, very good.”

“Glad you liked it. Good night, Alicent.”

“Good night, Rhaenyra.”

-

Day 1

She does manage to get sheets onto the bed before she falls into it, and she’s glad for it because she ends up sleeping for about 13 hours before she wakes up. Most of the sun is kept out by the plywood boards over the windows, so she manages to sleep later than she expects she ever will once they’ve been removed.

Her body is still aching from two straight days of hiking when she finally pulls herself out of bed, but she knows she needs to start removing the boards or she can’t actually do her job.

Before that though she starts unpacking her bag, the only one she has, though it’s significantly bigger than they recommended she bring. Now she knows why, after carrying it around for two days and causing herself more back pain than she needed to.

She lays the things out on her bed as she removes them. There are a few t-shirts, tank tops and a couple of pairs of shorts, some pyjama bottoms to sleep in and a hoodie on the off chance it does get cold. Apart from those and the essentials, like her toothbrush, most of the space in the bag is taken up by her laptop and the digital camera she brought. There’s a Nintendo Switch in a carry case as well, one she hopes hasn’t had its screen cracked after she slipped yesterday.

“Are you sure you’re ready to be away from civilization for months if you’re taking this many electronics with you?”

“There’s only gonna be so many times I can masturbate out of boredom before it just gets sad, Laenor, I need something to do while I’m there.”

She puts everything away the best she can and then starts cutting into the supply boxes that have been left stacked on the desk for her. They’re mostly full of tinned food but there are a few chocolate bars and other sweet things. She rips into a breakfast bar with her teeth as she continues to put tins of baked beans away with the other hand.

“It’ll have to do I guess,” she mumbles to herself, pulling shelf stable milk out of one box and putting it down next to the teabags and the kettle. She makes herself a mug of tea, then carries it out onto the balcony with the claw hammer she found in one of the drawers.

She’s managed to yank out the nails holding four of the boards in place when she hears the radio faintly over the music playing in her headphones. She moves the pad from over one ear to listen.

“-urs. Looks like you’re awake.”

Rhaenyra moves back inside and puts the hammer down to pick up the radio.

“Sorry, what was that?”

“I said good afternoon. The hike usually takes it out of people so I’m not surprised you slept so many hours.”

“I needed it.”

“I’m not criticising you, Rhaenyra. Listen… sorry about last night. I um… well, I’d had a couple of glasses of wine, that probably wasn’t an appropriate question to ask right off the bat.”

“You have wine over there?” Rhaenyra asked, eyeing the small bottle of vodka now sitting on what passes for a kitchen counter in the single room. She’d stuffed it in her bag on a whim right before she’d left, expecting it was the only alcohol she’d have access to for a while.

“Strictly speaking we’re not really meant to be drinking, but the guy that drops off supplies likes me.”

“Must be nice.”

“I can put in a request for the next delivery, if there’s anything you’re fancying. They don’t always get it exactly right but they’ll try.”

Rhaenyra thinks of the sea salt chocolate her auntie Rhaenys always pushes into her hand any time she’s leaving their house.

“I’m good, thanks.”

Alicent sighs down the line.

“Look I know we didn’t have the best first conversation but I’m literally the only person you can talk to for the next few months. This’ll go a whole lot easier if we can get along.”

Rhaenyra sighs as well, though she makes sure to not open the line until after she’s done.

“Yeah… I guess you’re right. Some Driftmark sea salt chocolate would be great, next time you can ask.”

There’s a moment's pause and Rhaenyra wonders if Alicent is writing it down.

“Okay, good. I’ll let them know when it’s time to resupply. I noticed you’re making quick work on the boards.”

Rhaenyra sets the radio to an open line so she doesn’t have to keep holding in the button, and then clips it to the front of her shirt and picks up the hammer again.

“It’s taking some elbow grease, but I’m getting there. Sorry, might be a bit loud,” she adds, before working the claw of the hammer behind one of the nails holding a board in place and pulling. “Did you have to do this?” she asked.

“No. No one was in your tower last year so they boarded it up to protect the windows. I think you took the job so late they didn’t really have time to take them off.”

“Lucky me,” Rhaenyra grumbles, pocketing the nail once it’s free.

Alicent is quiet for a while and Rhaenyra zones out a little, music still quietly playing into her other ear to keep her company. Rhaenyra turns a corner to start on the next window and the radio lights up again.

“Oh, there you are.”

“Are you spying on me?”

Rhaenyra turns to look out over her surroundings and quickly spots a similar tower some distance away. It’s hard to tell how far it is, but just like her own it stands high above its surroundings.

“Mmm, can’t make out much, though. Red shirt… blonde I think? Blonde or bald.”

“People call it more silver but yeah, I suppose blonde is close enough.” Rhaenyra squints at the other tower but she can’t make out anything, definitely not a person. Alicent must have binoculars or something similar.

“Well don’t worry, you’re a smudge of colours, don’t think you have to worry about me seeing you do anything you shouldn’t.”

“Darn, I like being watched.” Rhaenyra almost brings the hammer down onto her own hand when she realises what she’s said to a complete stranger. 

“That was a joke,” she clarifies, when Alicent doesn’t immediately reply.

“Hey, whatever you’re into,” she finally responds, and Rhaenyra thinks she can hear laughter in her voice at least.

“What’s your tower called anyway?” she asks, looking for anything to turn the conversation towards. Alicent takes pity on her.

“Godswood Tower.”

“Hmmm, think mine’s better.”

Alicent chuckles in response and Rhaenyra smiles to herself.

-

Day 2

“How old are you anyway?”

“Twenty-three.”

“Oh, gods.”

“What?”

“I feel old.”

“Why, how old are you?”

“Thirty-one.”

Rhaenyra laughs, leaning back and placing her weight on her arm. The sun is setting and she’s sitting with a lukewarm can of coke at the top of the tower’s staircase. 

Absolutely nothing has happened all day and the most excitement Rhaenyra has had is a stand up wash using a basin and some boiled water that only makes her feel relatively clean. The breeze feels relaxing as it tickles her still damp hair.

“You are not old Alicent, what the fuck?”

“When you were starting high school I was starting college.”

“You’re acting like you’ve got one foot in the grave and I’m still in Huggies.”

“Aren’t you?”

“Oh har har.”

They haven't spoken most of the day. Alicent said hello to her in the morning but then she left her to it until Rhaenyra picked up the radio on a whim and asked her how her day had been. It strikes Rhaenyra how relaxed it feels though, at least after their initial bump. She’s glad of it, if Alicent really is her only chance of not going completely insane if she starts to climb the walls.

“So since you’re so ancient I suppose you’ve been doing this for a few years now?” she asks.

“Yeah, this is my fourth year,” Alicent confirms. “First year I was here I didn’t know if I’d make it the whole time without just leaving. Now I don’t know if I’d survive a year without it.”

“What do you do in the real world?”

“Freelance writing. Nothing groundbreaking, usually just fluff pieces. Pays the bills when I’m not here. What about you?”

Rhaenyra takes a drink, holding it in her mouth as she thinks over her answer.

“Nothing right now,” she admits, shrugging a little, “kind of still working that out, honestly.”

“Well,” Alicent says, perhaps sensing her insecurity, “nothing wrong with not having everything worked out when you’ve only just stopped using a highchair.”

-

Day 4

She’s shocked it takes her so long to finally start looking through the shows she asked her cousins to dump on her laptop, but by the time it’s getting dark on the fourth day she feels settled and focused enough to attempt to start one of them.

When she opens the videos folder there’s a notepad file named - READ ME at the top of the list of folders leading to various shows. Rhaenyra clicks on it with an amused eyeroll.

Hey, it’s me, your favourite cousin.

Laenor is saying that’s gonna confuse you.

Anyway, it’s me. I know you asked me to dump some recs on here but I messaged the siblings and asked them to send me some stuff too. Hope it’s not weird, but I thought if you actually get around to it maybe it’ll give you something to talk to them about when you get back.

Helaena’s are all Attenborough documentaries so at least you know those will be worthwhile. 

Hope you’re having a good time walking naked in the woods, maybe don’t start Yellowjackets if you’re feeling any cabin fever. x

Despite the complicated feelings that immediately rise in her, Rhaenyra can’t help but be touched by the effort. She scrolls down through the list of shows, quickly realising a lot of the folder names have a comment listed after the title.

Bad Sisters - feels like our level of family bonding

Interview with the Vampire - pls watch so Laenor has anyone else to talk at but me

Poker Face - best thing I watched last year

There are a few titles marked with names too, including a folder of David Attenborough shows tagged with Helaena like Laena had said. She’s surprised to see Bake-Off listed with Aemond’s name next to it.

She clicks from folder to folder for a few minutes, caught up in indecision. Suddenly watching something to relax feels a lot more of a task than when she booted up her computer. 

Admitting defeat she clicks on an episode of The Twilight Zone she’s seen at least ten times and burrows further into her blankets. Maybe she’ll start something new tomorrow.

-

Day 6

Rhaenyra feels like she’s no longer traumatised from hiking by the sixth day and can finally go for a walk that consists of more than stretching her legs under the tower.

She checks in with Alicent, letting her know she’ll be out of the tower for a while, and grabs her camera before she leaves.

It’s relaxing, when she’s not walking and needing to keep time or she’ll end up sleeping on the floor again. She avoids any areas that look too strenuous, at least for now, staying pretty close to the tower even though she has a map and compass with her. Mostly she just wants to wander around and snap a few good pictures of the landscape, and some for Helaena.

The rule she sets herself is pretty simple really: if she sees any bug and thinks ‘what the fuck is that,’ she attaches her macro lens and snaps a picture.

It’s kind of fun, as long as she doesn’t picture any of them getting into her living quarters.

After two hours she finds a place to sit, the edge of a steep drop into a gorge that’s at least probably not deep enough that she’d die if she fell. She lets her feet hang over the side and opens the sandwich she made for herself before she left. She removes her headphones on one side once again, enjoying the bird sounds while two podcasters continue to chat away in her other ear.

Her dad had always been kind of frustrated by the fact she needed constant noise, even when in the beauty of nature, but it wasn’t something that was likely to change. 

She smiles a little sadly to herself at the thought.

She flicks through the pictures she’s taken as she eats and when she does remove the headphones completely it’s only to grab the radio still in the pocket of her shorts, swapping out one noise for another.

“Hey,” she says, like they were picking up a conversation from only minutes ago, “are any of the bugs out here like… poisonous?”

There’s no response and Rhaenyra is just about ready to accept Alicent isn’t even there when she suddenly speaks.

“Why, you didn’t get bitten by anything did you?”

“No,” Rhaenyra clarifies, though the response doesn’t reassure her at all, “I was just looking through my pictures of them and wondered.”

“This entire beautiful park and you’re taking pictures of bugs?”

“Hey it wouldn’t be my first choice either, but they’re for my sister, she wants to know what I saw when I get back.”

“Your sister wants to know what bugs you saw when you get back?”

Rhaenyra lets out a breathy chuckle. “Yeah,” she confirms. “Bugs are her thing, I’d have more of a problem with it if she wasn’t my favourite.”

“Oh, you’ll just come right out and say that.”

Rhaenyra shrugs, even though Alicent can’t see it. “My family is kinda complicated, but I think the thing we’d all probably agree on is that Helaena is our favourite. Well… maybe not Aegon, I think he’s his favourite.”

“I mean at least you’re all honest, I suppose.”

“What about you, siblings?”

“A brother, Gwayne. We don’t see each other as much as I’d like.”

“Well I mean, if you insist on spending months out in the wilderness I can see why.”

“I mean apart from that, but yes, it doesn’t help. We just lived apart most of our lives, he went to an all boys school and spent most summers away at one camp or another. I love him but I don’t know how much we actually have in common.”

Rhaenyra can feel them about to overshare and she’s not entirely sure she’s ready for that but she’s sure at least some of it’s going to come out.

“So just the one brother and sister?” Alicent asks, when Rhaenyra doesn’t immediately pick up the conversation.

“Three brothers and a sister,” Rhaenyra corrects, the familiar twinge of guilt stinging her that it doesn’t feel entirely truthful. It was a strange relationship they all had, it wasn’t that she didn’t love them in her own way, but she could probably count on one hand the amount of times they’d all felt like a family and not just people existing on the edge of each other’s lives.

“That’s a full house.”

“Wouldn’t really know.” She picked at a loose piece of rubber on the sole of her trainer, “ I was the sibling away at a school most of the time. Think I spent more time at my aunt’s place when I was home, honestly.”

“Why’s that?”

“Get along with my cousins a lot more, I suppose. They’re more my age, and I grew up with them more than I did my siblings.”

“Evil stepmother?” Alicent asks, a playful tinge to her voice.

“Not exactly.”

“Should I ask?”

Rhaenyra chuckled a little to herself.

“Absolutely not right now, no.”

-

Day 10

“Rhaenyra, wake up!”

She jolts up in bed, disorientated, convinced for a minute she’s back at the house and something is wrong.

Then the room comes into focus, and she realises the voice is only on the radio. Everything that could go wrong has already happened, months ago now.

Her heart continues to hammer in her chest nonetheless, the familiar panic state she’s felt in for over a year rearing its head after a few days of peace.

The sun is just beginning to rise outside, and it’s enough light to see a thin curl of smoke visible through her window the moment she stands up.

“Rhaenyra!”

 She grumbles to herself as she takes the few steps to the radio and snatches it up.

“Yeah, I’m awake. I see it.” Her voice sounds deep and scratchy from just waking, and she knows she’s already being snappy.

“You’re gonna have to go out there.”

“What? I thought it was fire watching not fire fightings.”

“It’s a campfire, which means you need to go find whoever it is and tell them to stop.”

“Aren’t the rangers meant to deal with people?”

“The nearest ranger is two days away, Rhaenyra. Get dressed, it’s your job.” Alicent doesn’t sound in a particularly good mood either, and Rhaenyra wonders if she’s even been to sleep yet since she spotted the smoke so early.

She doesn’t bother responding, just looks around for where she threw her shirt the night before and pulls it back on. Luckily even the nights have been relatively warm, and it’s not too cold when she steps out of the tower in shorts, holding a light since the sun won’t fully be up for a while and she has no idea how long it’s going to take her.

She’s standing at the bottom of the tower, squinting at her map, when the radio goes again.

“Are you up?”

She rolls her eyes, enjoying the privilege of not actually having to school her features while she talks.

“Yeah, I’m outside, I’m just checking the map.”

“I’d estimate it’s just by Dreamfyre River, it should take you about thirty minutes to get to it, then just follow it down.”

“Right.” She folds up the map and starts heading towards the smoke, convinced she’s going to fall on her face thanks to still being half asleep.

She’s ten minutes away from the tower when she realises she’s left behind her headphones and it's Alicent’s voice or her own thoughts to keep her company.

“So why were you even awake?” she asks, the choice is an easy one to make despite her annoyance.

“I thought you weren’t the sharing type.”

“Just because I’m not doesn’t mean I can’t listen to other people.”

“These things usually have a little push and pull.”

“I’m not about to beg you, Alicent, if that’s what you want. You can tell me or not, I don’t care.”

“You really know how to make a girl feel special.”

Rhaenyra laughs, making sure to press the button to make herself heard. 

“I have heard that.”

“A big head too, we always love that.”

“Yeah well, I always love when they kick me out of bed first thing on a morning to go for an hour-long hike.”

“I said half an hour.”

“Yeah I have to hike back, you know? I’m not about to jump in their tent with them after I tell them to knock it off with the fires.”

Alicent goes quiet and she smirks to herself.

“I was just thinking about my husband.”

“...oh.”

There’s a huff of air over the speaker and Rhaenyra is surprised how much bitterness it manages to project even with the terrible sound quality.

“We’re not together any more. I mean… we are still married, but we haven’t been together for four years; it’s why I first came here.”

“ Four years and you’re still married to the asshole?”

“How do you know I wasn’t the asshole?”

“I usually assume a problem is caused by a man until proven otherwise.”

“Well as much as I’d like to blame him I think it’s probably more of a fifty-fifty split in this situation.”

“How so?”

“Well he was a cheating bastard but I was realising I was a lesbian so I suppose I can’t let him take all the blame for the marriage not working out.”

“No, no,” Rhaenyra says, like it needed some deep thought to be put into it, “I suppose you can’t, but I’d still probably say it’s 60/40.”

“It did still hurt,” Alicent admits.

“It’s been four years, why haven’t you divorced him already?”

There’s a pause before she hears the static of Alicent’s open line, then another pause while she has the button held down.

“I think we both just… don’t want to deal with everything. Our lives are already separate, why linger on the paperwork?”

“Don’t you want to make him pay? He cheated.”

Alicent doesn’t answer.

It takes her a little longer than half an hour to find the fire, but it’s exactly where Alicent estimated it to be, right on the edge of a small river. It’s barely even lit any more when Rhaenyra reaches it, and she can’t see any signs of life around it. No backpack or water bottle, no sleeping bag set next to it. She could almost believe a pile of well placed twigs had spontaneously combusted if not for a single footprint in the mud right next to it.

She looks around, trying to see if there’s any tracks giving away where the stranger went, but the dirt soon solidifies away from the edge of the river and any trails are lost.

“Well, I found the fire, but whoever was here moved on already.”

“Of course they did.”

“It’s almost out, but I’ll take care of it.”

She stamps out the embers with her boot, then scoops water the best she can from the river and douses it until it stops hissing.

“Should be okay now, no harm done.”

“They still shouldn’t be doing it at all.”

“Hey, you don’t have to tell me. Don’t even know why they’d want to, it’s warm enough out here even at night. Wait, what is that?”

“What’s what? Rhaenyra, are you okay?”

Rhaenyra reaches down, picking up what she’s seen tentatively between her fingers and turning it slowly to view it from every direction. It’s a small figure made of twigs, bound together with rough thread, that has been left by the remains of the fire. There’s a scrap of fabric tied around its middle, the end singed. She drops it back to the floor and turns around immediately, starting to walk quickly back in the direction she came from.

“Rhaenyra?” Alicent asks again, more concern creeping into her voice at the lack of response.

“I’m okay, I’m fine, I’m just going back right now because it is way too early for this.”

“For what?”

“ Witchy shit , Alicent. No one told me there are people doing Blair Witch rituals out here.”

Alicent laughs far too casually.

“What did you see?” she asks.

“I found some weird stick figure.”

“A stick figure. Like something a child might make.”

“I mean when you put it like that… but-but no, not like that.”

“I think you’re maybe overreacting.”

“Well I’ll overreact safely back in my tower, thanks.”

-

Day 13

“Uh… Alicent?”

“Yes, Rhaenyra?”

Rhaenyra crouched down at the foot of the tower, tilting her head one way and then the other before she scooped up the creature in front of her.

“I found a turtle.”

“You found a turtle.”

“Actually, I think technically it found me, it's just here outside my tower.”

“Well, if you want to keep it for some company I won’t say anything, it might need a name though.”

“Hmmm… I think I’ll call you… Syrax.”

“What kind of name is that?”

-

Day 15

“So I have to lug a box of supplies back to my place and you get yours hand delivered?”

“They even brought it up the stairs for me,” Alicent says, rather smugly, and Rhaenyra knows it’s with the sole purpose of annoying her more.

“It’s like you’re actively trying to get me not to like you sometimes.”

“Oh come on, it’s about fifteen minutes away from where you are, and you have your cart.”

Rhaenyra looks down at the old metal pull cart she’d found in the storage shed at the base of her tower. The squeaking noise it makes is very quickly making her consider it more trouble than it’s worth, but she doesn’t really fancy lugging two weeks worth of food and toiletries back by hand.

“Please don’t talk to me like I’m going to my first day at school.”

“I’m sorry, darling, have you remembered your homework?”

Rhaenyra rolls her eyes but still smiles.

“So what did you watch last night?”

“Still rewatching The Twilight Zone.”

“And is there anything on that laptop of yours in colour?”

She gives the cart a sharp tug as it catches on a rock sticking from the uneven ground.

“Plenty, it just takes a lot more attention to watch anything new.”

“We’re in the middle of a national park with no service and no wifi, what can you possibly get distracted by?”

Rhaenyra goes quiet, weighing up how much she wants to share. It’s been two weeks; she’s probably talked to Alicent more in that time than she ever talked to her siblings as a teenager, but if she tells her things will change. Alicent will get that pity in her voice that everyone else has, and every morning will start with a delicate ‘ how are you holding up ’ instead of slightly out of line jokes about how annoying the other is that Rhaenyra isn’t sure constitutes flirting or not.

“Oh,” Alicent says into the silence, “this is your thing, right? I said people only come out here because something is wrong with them.”

“My dad died.”

“Ah… I see. Well, I’m very sorry for your loss.”

“Please don’t do that. Just keep treating me like you think I’m a bit of a dickhead, yeah?”

“I don’t think you’re a dickhead.”

“Alicent.”

“ Rhaenyra… okay fine, maybe a little bit. It’s annoyingly charming.”

“You flatter me.”

“Only when you ask nicely.”

Okay, that time it was definitely flirting.

She reaches the large storage box in good time, and begins transferring the cardboard boxes marked for her into her cart. 

“So just to check… you don’t want to talk about it at all?” Alicent asks, as Rhaenyra drops the final box on top of two others. It’s light enough that it’s clearly full of nothing but toilet paper.

“I don’t know how much I have to say,” she admits, closing the lid and fixing the lock back in place. “He died two months ago… I moved home to take care of him for most of last year; he slowly got worse. It was just making him comfortable, in the end. Now it’s just me and my siblings and their mother.” She says it all in a very matter of fact way, resighting facts, not sharing emotions.

“So you came here to get away?”

“We’ve never been close as a family, I don’t know how to exist in that house now, I thought the time alone would be good to help me work some things out.”

“Or you throw yourself from the top of your tower. Being alone for so long isn’t great for everyone, Rhaenyra, are you sure this is something you can handle right now?”

“I’m not feeling the itch to jump yet, if that’s what you’re worried about,” she says, and then quickly to deflect things from getting too serious she adds, “besides, I’m not alone. I have you.”

“Oh that was… terrible .”

Rhaenyra laughed, grabbing the handle of the cart to start her trek back.

“Yeah, it was.”

-

Day 20

“Oh fuck off.”

“It’s true!”

“Why did you date this man, let alone marry him?”

Alicent takes her time answering, and Rhaenyra can almost imagine her (or rather the vague blur of a woman she has no visual for) laid out next to her in the grass, trying to drink wine without spilling it all over herself. She smiles at the thought.

“I don’t know,” Alicent says eventually, “it was easy, I suppose, when he was chasing me. It’s easy to feel worth something when someone is making the effort. I thought I was just depressed and not letting myself be happy, not that I was gay. Sooo… I said yes.”

“And then?”

“And then I tried to be content but something was just never quite right. I’m not surprised he cheated really, I’m sure he could sense I wasn’t really there, even before things fully started to fall apart.”

“It’s not your fault, Alicent.”

“But-“

“Did you ever cheat on him, when you were realising what you wanted?”

“Well, no.”

“And he didn’t have to either. You deserve better than that.”

Alicent was quiet for a long time. So much so that Rhaenyra was already on her feet and making her way back to her tower when she spoke again.

“Thank you.”

-

Day 23

“It’s called Bottom’s Point.”

“No it’s not.”

“There’s a sign.”

“Uhh no there isn’t.”

“Oh, well I guess someone stole it again. You’ll just have to trust me.”

“That’s hilarious, I’m adding it to my map.”

“What are you, twelve?”

-

Day 29

It’s a bad night. Sometimes it just hits even after days of doing well, and all she can do is try ride it out, find a distraction.

She stares over at the radio on the charging stand but can’t bring herself to touch it. She’s pretty sure the ache in her chest will escape as a sob the second she tries to say anything. Instead she stays on her bed, Syrax safe in her shell resting in the crook of her arm.

Videos are a much easier distraction.

She rules out a lot of it pretty easily. The Haunting of Hill House seems like maybe it’s not the best fit right now, and continuing to watch The Twilight Zone isn’t going to help when it’s what she used to watch with her dad. Eventually she settles on starting a season of Bake-Off, comfort tv she never expected Aemond of all people to be watching.

“Does Aemond like baking?” she mumbles, glancing down at the box turtle like she expects a response. She tries to imagine him carefully lifting cake tins out of the oven and checking to see if they’re cooked all the way through. “I really don’t know anything about them, do I?”

The painful twisting thing inside her morphs in that moment, evolving into something she feels more equipped to deal with for the night. Annoyance, anger at her father that he’d sent her away so soon after the loss of her mother, deprived her of her new family as her old one was stripped away.

It was easy to blame him, easier than admitting that she probably wouldn’t have wanted it, had it been offered to her.

Even now, years later, she still feels like an only child, more than she’s ever felt like an older sister, an eldest daughter. It might be easiest to just leave, take the inheritance she’s been given, the home that was left to her, and spend future holidays with her auntie and her cousins. 

But with her father now gone (and it hits her all over again then, as if a matter of fact thought is suddenly all too real, and the feeling settles in for the hundredth time as if it were the first again) her thoughts can only linger on what had made him happy in those last days. Rhaenyra’s interactions with her siblings, however stunted.

She pulls her blanket tighter around herself despite the heat, the weight of it against her skin a comfort despite the extra warmth it brings.

She does sob then, a strangled sound escaping her.

She’s not sure how long she’s been crying when the radio crackles to life.

“Rhaenyra?” Alicent whispers softly, “are you still awake?”

She doesn’t answer.

-

Day 30

“Rhaenyra?”

“Leave me alone.”

-

Day 32

“Rhaenyra. Rhaenyra .”

“What?!”

“You need to check in, okay?”

“Well I’m here. No fires to report.”

“Rhaenyra, if you need-”

“Bye, Alicent.”

-

Day 35

“Hey…”

“Rhaenyra,” Alicent sounds more relieved than anything else Rhaenyra expected. It makes the guilt weigh her down more.

“Yeah, it’s me.”

“You had me worried, I almost called in to recommend you be sent home.”

“It’s just been a bad week, that’s all.” She rubs her eyes, feeling tired and still a little lost in her own fog. “But I’m okay, I… feel kind of better today.”

“Kind of?”

“Well, I’m making food instead of just forcing myself to eat some dry cereal so that’s a start.”

“Sometimes that’s all you can do,” Alicent says, with a sadness that tells Rhaenyra she understands. Rhaenyra doesn’t push and ask why, ask who she lost that introduced her to the feeling of never quite being home again.

“Yeah,” she sighs instead, hoping it’s enough to encompass how she feels. “I’m sorry for worrying you.”

“Just try talk to me next time, I promise I’m not all that bad.”

-

Day 47

“You know… you never told me what you look like.”

“You’re right, I didn’t,” Alicent agrees, an amused lilt to her voice, like she has no intention of telling her now either.

Rhaenyra sits with her legs hanging through the bannister around her tower, swinging them lightly as she stares out towards Godswood Tower. Towards Alicent. Not that she can see her, even with the pair of binoculars she has the tower is barely more than a blurry shape and there’s no indication Alicent is outside.

“You know what I look like!”

“Barely, it’s like looking at a Georges Seurat painting,”

“Yeah,” Rhaenyra mumbles, the binoculars still pressed tight against her face, “I know what you mean.”

“Are you spying on me?”

“Trying to.”

“Rude.”

“Oh that’s rich, you did it the first day I was here.”

“That was… different.”

“Explain how?”

Silence. Rhaenyra puts down the binoculars and radio and picks up the mug of tea next to her, along with a bar of the Driftmark chocolate that had been in her latest supply delivery.

“Okay fine,” Alicent huffs eventually. “I have red hair.”

Rhaenyra takes her time picking the radio back up.

“Thank you for such an in-depth description, Alicent.”

“Well I don’t know what to say. It’s wavy? I have brown eyes.”

“This is so helpful.”

“I’d like to see you do better.”

“I have sort of a…Romeo ‘96 vibe.”

“…I hate that this tells me everything I need to know.”

Rhaenyra grins, suddenly disappointed that a radio can’t possibly transmit her satisfaction.

“Stop being smug.”

“I didn’t say anything!”

“I can picture it.”

“Because I gave you such a good description.”

“I hate you.”

-

Day 50

She’s taking a walk to stretch her legs when she sees a curl of smoke up ahead. It’s familiar, and she doesn’t need Alicent to tell her it’s clearly a campfire this time.

“So much for a new episode of Only Murders,” she said, grabbing her radio, “someone has a campfire again.”

“No,” Alicent says, sounding genuinely devastated, “but I want to know what happens!”

“I know babe, I’m sorry.” Their routine for the last week has involved Rhaenyra describing the show she’s watching in detail to Alicent, who apparently hasn’t brought any real kind of technology with her.  Rhaenyra doesn’t understand how she hasn’t gone insane when it sounds like all she has is the paperbacks she’s managed to carry, but somehow she’s survived four summers that way.

“Well be careful, I think you’re going to have to go down a rock shale to get there, have you got rope?”

“Yeah,” Rhaenyra confirms, hoisting her backpack higher on her shoulder. “Caught out enough times now, learned to just keep it with me.”

“Okay well it looks like you need to head towards Cannibal Rock, it should be on your map.”

“I have been meaning to ask you about that, yeah,” Rhaenyra mumbles, pulling the folded up paper from the side pocket of her bag. “Not the most appealing name.”

“If it makes you feel better I don’t think it’s referencing a human cannibal.”

“You know what?” she asks, as she sets off towards the smoke, “somehow that’s not comforting.”

They continue to chat casually as she walks, only pausing when Rhaenyra needs to rappel down the side of a steep shale slide. She barely notices any strain any more, after almost two months walking the park. Part of her isn’t even sure it’s that and not the distraction of Alicent to talk to most hours of the day.

“I don’t talk to the other lookouts the way I talk to you,” Alicent told her one night, as Rhaenyra laid staring up at the stars. “Not like this, and not as much.”

Though as she lowers herself slowly down the side of the incline, she has to admit her arms look more defined, more muscular than when she arrived. Sometimes it felt like she was wasting away along with her father over the last year, when all thought of taking care of herself had been pushed aside to make sure he was comfortable. Even with help from his nurses it hadn’t ever felt like she was truly resting, instead waiting for the other shoe to drop every time she was out of the room. Waiting for a phone call. For another ambulance. To speak with doctors. 

Isolating herself for months might not be the best choice for her mental health, that’s still to be determined, but physically at least it seems to have its benefits.

“Okay,” she says, a short walk on from the decline, “I’m pretty sure the fire’s just through these trees, I’ll radio in once I’ve talked to them.”

“Well someone sounds much more confident about this than the first time I asked you to speak with someone.”

“Yeah well after that kid last week thought I was gonna arrest him I’m on a bit of a power trip.”

“Oh no, what will we do with you?” Alicent chuckles.

“Won’t be long.”

Rhaenyra clips the radio back onto her shorts and pushes her way through some low hanging branches. The area is familiar enough now that she knows there’s a clearing on the other side, a small circular opening in the surrounding trees. It’s perfect to set up camp, which means she’s already found the evidence of fire there previously, scorch marks in the ground from far before she arrived.

She can smell the smoke before anything comes into view. It’s tinged with something sweet and seems to cling to her throat.

As the foliage gives way she’s met with green flames.

A slight woman with long dark hair sits hunched over the fire, sitting on the fallen remains of a tree. She doesn’t seem dressed for a hike, wearing an ankle-length dark dress with a long well-fitted jacket over the top. Rhaenyra doesn’t understand how she isn’t dying from heatstroke.

She watches as the woman wraps various pieces of plant life in twine, humming quietly to herself as she does so, and then brings it to the fire to singe the end. It begins to smoke.

“Are you just going to stand there?” the woman asks, not looking up, “or would you like to join me?”

She reaches down and pours water from a metal tea kettle into two tin mugs already set by her feet. Rhaenyra looks around, expecting someone else, but the woman is alone and definitely speaking to her.

“You uh… you’re not allowed to do that here,” Rhaenyra replies, nervousness starting to build. She hesitates at the edge of the clearing as her eyes catch a familiar looking stick figure at the woman’s feet.

“Wait… that was you that I found having a fire before,” she says, thinking out loud more than anything, “that was over a month ago, have you been out here this entire time?” she asks in disbelief.

“Do you want some tea or not?”

Rhaenyra moves forward, despite the fact she absolutely does not want mystery tea from a strange woods witch, and steps close enough that she can feel the heat from the fire.

“I’m sorry but you need to put this out-”

“Alys.”

“What?”

“I’m called Alys.”

“Oh,” the introduction catches her off guard and she sits herself down on a stump opposite the woman without really thinking. “I’m… Rhaenyra.”

“Well it’s nice to meet you, Rhaenyra.” The woman reaches down to pick up one of the cups and Rhaenyra’s gaze shifts to the tree behind her as she moves out of the way. A face has been carved into it. Logically she knows it must only be tree sap but it looks like it’s bleeding and she jumps back to her feet, almost stumbling over the very trunk she was sitting on.

Alys is holding the drink out towards her, but she only backs away.

“What’s wrong?”

“You need to put the fire out, it’s a hazard and you will be prosecuted if it results in a forest fire.”

She sounds like she’s reciting the handbook.

Alys laughs and waves her hand dismissively. She stands up and moves closer, pressing the cup into Rhaenyra’s hands. It’s warm and Rhaenyra can smell whatever is steaming inside as she holds it against her chest. The smoke from the bundle Alys is still gripping wafts up and clouds her vision for a moment.

“C’mon, live a little. I’m not so bad, and you seem like you could use a sit down.”

Rhaenyra’s gaze shifts past her again, to focus on the tree with a face, and Alys looks behind herself to observe it as well.

“Oh they just need the chance to speak sometimes,” she explains, looking back to Rhaenyra. “They’re spirits far older than us, after all,” she lowers her voice and grins, “you can hear them whisper, if you listen.”

It sends a shiver up Rhaenyra’s spine, and she thinks the only thing stopping her from bolting is the almost dreamlike way the woman speaks, something that reminds her of Helaena.

“But you…” Alys continues, “out here all by yourself, what could you possibly need to run from?”

“Who said I was running from anything?”

“Oh you all are. Rather spend your time up your towers, pretending you have any control over nature, than deal with human problems.”

Rhaenyra grits her teeth.

“Just put out the fire? Please. Then you can talk to all the trees you like.”

Alys smiles and gives her a small curtsy.

“Of course, m’lord,” she says teasingly, turning to return to her fire.

Something hoots behind Rhaenyra and in her spooked state she turns sharply to look for it. The trees seem empty, the only noise caused by wind through the branches.

When she turns back the fire is nothing but dying embers and Alys is nowhere to be seen.

Without really thinking about it she brings the cup to her lips and takes a sip.

-

That night Rhaenyra dreams of stumbling through the trees, her feet sinking into ground that should be solid from the heat and yet is sticky and sopping with water.

Someone’s watching her. A heart monitor is beeping. She’s kissing someone, hot breath against her lips as they breath into her mouth and curls tickle her cheek. She sinks deeper into the ground, clawing at the base of a tree with a face as she tries to stop herself from disappearing beneath the earth.

She grabs hold of ancient roots and pulls herself up, heaving herself from the mud while her arms burn, until she finds herself at the foot of a staircase. The steps from a home ripped from their purpose to stand in solitude in the middle of a forest clearing. They lead to nowhere. Rhaenyra climbs to the top as her legs shake, standing on the edge as she looks out at treetops. An owl lands beside her. From here she can see a tower, a lone figure watching her from the windows.

-

Day 51

When she wakes up, sweating and panting as the first rays of sunlight penetrate the room, she lingers on how real her dream felt.

The way it muddles her thoughts lingers as she gets dressed and makes coffee to try clear her head.

She almost feels normal again until she slips her trainers on to head outside onto the deck and her fingertips brush wet mud on the soles.

She doesn’t mention it to Alicent.

-

Day 56

“What’re you doing?”

Rhaenyra brushes her hands off on her shirt and reaches for the radio sitting on the stairs.

“Painting.”

“Painting,” Alicent repeats.

Rhaenyra looks up at the tower from where she stands midway up the staircase, paint quickly running over her left hand and beginning to make a trail down her bare arm. 

“I found leftover cans in the storage shed and this thing hasn’t been painted in at least a couple years so I thought why not?”

“There is no feasible way for you to paint all of that Rhaenyra, you’ll break your neck trying to climb it.”

“I’m not stupid Alicent, I’m just painting what I can reach with, I’m sick of it all flaking off under my hands.”

“I hope you’re wearing sun cream.”

“I am.”

“How are you even outside working right now? I’m laid with the fan pointing at my face.”

Rhaenyra shrugs but doesn’t give any answer Alicent can actually hear.

“You must be sweating buckets.”

She smirks.

“Wouldn’t you like to know.”

“Shut up.”

“Get your binoculars back out, I make quite the attractive blur.”

“Shut up .”

“Am I wrong?”

“I’m not answering that.”

-

Day 57

“I told you so.”

“You told me I’d break my neck, not twist my ankle.”

“I still told you.”

“But-“

“Just shut up and lay down.”

“Damn Alicent, tell me what you really want.”

“Behave, Rhaenyra.”

“Yes ma’am.”

“Keep it propped up.”

Rhaenyra pulls her backpack up onto the bottom of the bed and lets her foot rest on top of it. She takes Syrax from the box by the bed and places her onto her chest for the company.

It’s been almost two months since she’s seen any of her family or friends, it almost makes her think the run in with the strange woman in the woods was worth it for any human contact.

“I wish you were here,” she admits, a moment of vulnerability.

Alicent is silent for a beat before Rhaenyra hears a huff of hesitant laughter.

“You just want someone to take care of you while you’re feeling sorry for yourself.”

Rhaenyra forces out a laugh too.

“Ha, yeah…”

-

Day 64

“Alicent.”

The answer is almost immediate.

“I know, don’t worry.”

Rhaenyra brings the binoculars up to her face again and focuses in on the bright orange flames licking against the sky some distance away. She feels bad for not noticing it sooner, but the fire isn’t technically in her area, it’s glowing out past Alicent’s tower.

“What do we do?” Rhaenyra asks, suddenly hit with the realisation that despite being on the job for two months she doesn’t actually know what’s expected of her beyond calling something in to Alicent so it can be passed along.

“Nothing we can do,” Alicent explains, sounding far too casual about the exact reason they’re out here, their one job. “I’ve called it in already; they’ll send out a suppression team but I imagine it’ll stick around for the rest of the summer, or most of it.”

“Why does it feel like I’ve done a bad job?”

“Rhaenyra, we’re only here to watch out for fires. Sure, you need to stop idiot campers that can’t follow basic instructions but sometimes these things just start, they don’t expect you to run in there with some buckets to try stop it.”

“How do we know it wasn’t a person?”

“We don’t,” Alicent says, and Rhaenyra can practically hear her shrugging, “not yet anyway, but I doubt it was, and even if it was that doesn’t make it our fault.”

Rhaenyra leans forwards against the bannister, resting her weight against the freshly painted wood.

“It is beautiful though,” she admits. “I’ve always liked fire, the way it twists and crackles, standing so close your skin turns red for hours.” She remembers going camping with her parents and her uncle when she was younger once. Her mother getting increasingly worried as she insisted on building the fire bigger and bigger. She’d smelled like smoke for days.

“For future reference things like that make you sound like a bit of a pyro, love.”

“I don’t think I can deny it.”

“They are something though,” Alicent admits, and Rhaenyra smiles at the thought they’re both unified in something in that moment. They’re both staring out over the fire and she can almost pretend they’re standing side by side under the same sky.

Her gaze shifts to Alicent’s tower, the glow from the fire casting it into silhouette.

“Quite the view,” she agrees.

-

Day 69

It’s taken over two months, which surprises Rhaenyra, but the bottle of vodka is open on the floor next to her, while she sits up on her bed, feet dangling over the side.

When she’d impulsively stuck it into her bag before leaving it had been with the expectation it would be a bad choice. She thought it would look appealing on a bad night, and she’d drink herself to sleep, but instead she’d forgotten all about it until Alicent had called her two glasses of wine in, giggling.

She’d not really thought about how disgusting it was to drink neat when she left, but she stopped tasting it a while ago and the burn feels comforting now.

“You know, this doesn’t taste good but wine truly is the biggest lie,” Rhaenyra says, nose scrunching after she takes a swig.

“What are you talking about?”

“It tastes like piss!” she says, a little too loudly.

“How do you know what piss tastes like?” Alicent sounds far too satisfied with herself and Rhaenyra rolls her eyes, laying down on her side.

“Never heard that response before,” she mumbles.

“I’m sure you have if you keep telling people things taste like piss.”

“It’s just not good,” Rhaenyra shrugs. “And then people always say ‘oh stick with it, you’ll learn to like it.’ I shouldn’t have to teach myself to like something.”

“Why not, I taught myself to like you.”

“You’re a mean drunk,” Rhaenyra says, laughing nonetheless. “It's fine, I know I’m an acquired taste.”

“Can’t be the judge of that, haven’t had a taste yet.”

Rhaenyra bites her lip. Alicent is drunk and the comment pushes the flirting a bit further than it’s ever gone before. She should maybe let it pass, but Rhaenyra is a little drunk too.

“I’ll let you have a taste,” she whispers into the radio.

There’s quiet in response, and then the line crackles as Alicent holds down the button on her end. She doesn’t speak, but the air is open between them and Rhaenyra can hear her breathing.

“I wish I was there,” Rhaenyra speaks again, her fingers running under the hem of her boxers.

“What would we do if you were here?” Alicent asks finally, whispering too.

-

Day 70

She’s naked with her t-shirt thrown over her face when she wakes up, her half awake earlier self having pulled it over herself in an attempt to block the sun.

Memories of the night before come back quickly. Her own hand, accompanied by Alicent’s desperate panting.

It’s a good memory, but something is digging into her back and ruining it. She awkwardly reaches under herself only to pull out the radio. She vaguely remembers it being on her chest when she fell asleep.

Rhaenyra reaches up, brushing stray hair back from her face and gripping it, scratching her scalp. 

“Alicent?” she asks, holding the radio up to her mouth as she stares up at the ceiling. Her voice is deep and scratchy, her throat dry.

“Rhaenyra,” the reply comes quickly. Alicent sounds a lot more put together than she is, like she’s perhaps been up for a while and isn’t still laid in bed.

She bites her lip, not sure what response Alicent’s tone suggests. She defaults to her usual solution, nervous humour.

“Was it good for you?”

Alicent laughs, and Rhaenyra’s stomach flips at the sound. The tension feels broken a little.

“I feel terrible,” Alicent admits, and all Rhaenyra can do is frown in response.

“What’re you talking about?”

“I was drunk, and it was unprofess-

“Alicent, you’re not my boss,” Rhaenyra reminds her, parroting back her own words from their first ever conversation. “You didn’t take advantage or anything, if you’re embarrassed and regretting it that’s fine-”

“I don’t regret it.”

She can’t help but grin to herself.

“I mean the confirmation you were bullying me to flirt and not just because you can’t stand me was reassuring.”

“Hmmm,” Alicent ponders, “that’s still up for debate.”

“It’s okay, I know by now this is your defence mechanism.”

“Sorry,” Alicent sighs, even as Rhaenyra continues to smile softly. “It’s just been a while,” she continues, “and even when everything wasn’t terrible with Criston we never got uhh… descriptive.”

-

Day 73

It has been a bit awkward for a few days.

Not that Alicent regrets phone (radio?) sex with her, she reassures Rhaenyra repeatedly, but she seems kind of shy about it, which Rhaenyra finds adorable.

She supposes it shouldn’t be a surprise; Rhaenyra might feel a bit weird about it too if she had a small reliquary to The Seven in the same room while she was panting into the radio, hand in her own underwear.

Still it makes her hesitant to try anything similar again, and Rhaenyra doesn’t just want Alicent seeing her as some masturbatory phone line anyway. She likes Alicent, if her casual flirting hadn’t made that obvious enough to the other woman already, and now they’ve gotten drunk and listened to each other come, she thinks she can be a bit more forward about it.

Because you were so subtle before.

The thought echoes in her head in both Laena and Laenor’s voice as it comes to her.

“You’ve really never seen it?” she asks, as she sits cross legged by the river. Syrax is with her, chomping away on leaves by her side. She’s keeping a close eye, but the box turtle seems as content as ever.

“Can’t say I have.”

“Shame,” Rhaenyra lays back in the grass and pulls the sunglasses down from on top of her head. “It’s a classic, we’ll have to watch it sometime.”

“I don’t really do horror,” Alicent says, and for a moment Rhaenyra deflates at the idea she’s clearly sidestepping the rest of the statement, but then she continues. “But I suppose if we’re going to watch it together… perhaps I can make an exception.”

-

Day 78

“Alicent, I can’t, I can’t, if it looks horrible I’m going to kill myself.”

“You said you cut it yourself last time!”

“Yeah, and then I paid a professional too much money to make sure it looked good!”

“Look it’s this or you deal with how long it’s getting, I don’t know what to tell you.”

Rhaenyra scrunches up her face. She doesn’t know how she had hair half way down her back for so long. It’s only just starting to grow to her shoulders again and the way it clings to her neck in the heat is driving her crazy.

She’s already cutting into it, it’s too late to go back anyway. Loose silver hairs float down onto the desk in front of her as she makes another cut.

“It’s gonna look terrible,” Rhaenyra whines.

“Sweetheart, it’s going to look great. And if it doesn’t? No one is going to see it, you’re fine.”

“ You’re gonna see it,” she counters, and it's enough to silence Alicent for a moment. 

“I am?”

“Well yeah. I thought once time is up maybe we could meet and do the hike back to reality together?” She feels suddenly vulnerable as she says it, and she has to put down the scissors for a moment, staring at her slightly red expression in the mirror in front of her.

“I’d like that.” Alicent says, and she dares to imagine she’s smiling while she says it.

“And after that?” Rhaenyra broaches, stepping like she’s approaching a cornered wild animal. Alicent sighs, and Rhaenyra hears the twig snap under her foot, causing the deer to flee.

“I don’t know,” Alicent admits. “Can’t we just have… whatever this is, for now?”

-

Day 79

“What’re you wearing? Kkrr, over.”

“Rhaenyra, I swear to the gods.”

-

Day 80

“I don’t know Rhaenyra, I guess I just have so much going on-“

“What? What do you have going on Alicent? I’m asking you for a fucking date, not to have my kids.”

“I’m married, Rhaenyra.”

“Yeah, and whose fucking fault is that? You haven’t seen him for four years Alicent, you’re hiding away in the woods instead of moving on with your life.”

“And you’re here ignoring the fact your father died instead of dealing with your grief. Don’t act like I’m the only one that’s fucking broken here, Rhaenyra.”

“Fuck you.”

“Fuck you too.”

-

Day 82

“Let’s go to Paris.”

“Let’s go to Rome.”

-

Day 85

“So have you decided what you’re going to do?”

Rhaenyra grits her teeth and pulls herself up the last of the rocks she’s clambering over, laying out in the grass as she gets to the top. She grabs blindly for her radio and pulls it from her waist after missing twice.

“I don’t know,” she admits, chest heaving as she tries to catch her breath. Alicent must take the lack of any more words as the cold shoulder because when she speaks again she sounds uncertain.

“We don’t have to talk about it.”

“No, no it’s not that, just lemme… lemme catch my breath, babe.” Rhaenyra pants, letting out a huff of laughter as she tries to breathe, to slow her heart rate. 

“Oh,” Alicent chuckles, “sorry, I forgot how much climbing there is to do around that part.”

“Yeah, remind me next time I say I’m gonna ‘go for a little walk’”

She sits herself up when she feels like she can breathe again and looks out over the gorge she’s just pulled herself out of.

“I don’t want to just abandon them, I guess, but I mean haven’t I already done that? I’ve left them to grieve for three months without me. I don’t know how to be a big sister.”

“I mean there’s no rules for how to be a big sister. Rhaenyra. Just talk to them.”

“I barely know them.”

“That’s not true.”

“It is, trust me.”

“Well, tell me what you do know about them.”

“I don’t know…”

“Indulge me, please?”

“Okay uh… well you know a little about Helaena,” Rhaenyra begins.

“She likes bugs, and she’s your favourite… despite the bugs.”

“She’d be your favourite too, despite the bugs. She’s sweet, gentle, I… I don’t know, I guess she’s the one I’ve always felt some kind of connection to. Maybe she just came along at the right time, maybe I’d gotten over dad remarrying and the teenage angst hadn’t set in yet. I don’t know if we have a lot in common but… I want to protect her, she’s an anxious kid and I don’t know how life will treat her.”

“It doesn’t sound like you’re uncaring, why do you think you’re a bad sister?”

“Because I’ve never been one, not really. I barely ever went on family holidays with them, I spent most of the summer staying with my cousins and avoiding being at home.”

“It sounds like it was complicated, Rhaenyra, you don’t have to blame yourself for all that. You were a kid, your mother died, I don’t think you can be expected to handle that perfectly.”

“I guess not…”

“Tell me about your brothers.”

“Things have always been a bit strained between me and Aegon. I guess that’s to be expected, he was the first. I remember dad kneeling down to show me this baby and thinking ‘Oh so this is how he forgets about me.’ My brother and I got into a screaming match about it while dad was sick, actually. I found out he thinks I was the favourite, fucking hilarious really.”

“The others?”

“Well, I’m starting to think Aemond likes baking, which I never expected. He’s always been kind of brooding since his accident.”

“Accident?”

“He was chasing after my cousin’s dog when we were younger, fell down this huge ditch in the park. He lost his eye, he’s lucky it didn’t kill him. I remember we all stayed up in his hospital room all night, the nurses hated us.”

It was one of the only times she’d actually felt like they were really family, and he’d paid an eye to achieve it.

“Daeron’s quiet, it’s like he’s not even there half the time. He’s smart though, I’ve caught him studying while I’ve been home and I barely understand it.”

“See, you’ve noticed things.”

“Surface things.”

“It’s a start. You just lost your dad, you don’t have to lose the rest of your family.”

-

Day 86

As much as their conversation helps it brings things to the surface, stirs up the feelings she’s been trying to bury.

Rhaenyra lays awake in bed the next night, the pit in her stomach only growing deeper as she sets her jaw and tries not to give in to the sob threatening to escape her.

She looks across from her bed to the radio by the door, hand twitching at the thought but she hesitates.

“Just try talk to me next time, I promise I’m not all that bad.”

She gets up, crosses the room.

She’s crying by the time she says Alicent’s name.

-

Day 88

“I just… I think I need to do it. Do the paperwork, start the proceedings.”

“You do, Alicent.”

“You’re just saying that because you want a date.” She sounds teasing at least, even though the last time they talked about it they’d gotten into a huge argument.

“No, I’m not. I mean I do want that date, but you’re not together anyway. So it’s hanging like a weight around your neck, you need to fully cut him off and live your life. Stop hiding in the woods.”

“I don’t come here because of him, you know? I mean yeah I’ve been kinda lost since everything fell apart but I keep coming here because I like it. If this could be my permanent job I’d take it. Just live out here… unremarked upon, in peace. It’s nice.”

Rhaenyra isn’t sure she agrees, but she isn’t sure she disagrees either. It’s beautiful and she has to admit being away from all the noise has been nice, being able to see the stars away from all the lights, being able to lay down at night and hear nothing. After spending most of her life looking for constant noise it suddenly didn’t feel too bad to have some silence.

Well, that or she had Alicent’s voice and that beat out everything else. She’s pretty sure if Alicent hadn’t been on the other end of the radio this whole time she might have lost it and done something stupid out here alone with her thoughts.

“Then go home, get things sorted, and you can come back here next year without a shitty husband looming over you.”

“Will you come back?”

Rhaenyra’s stomach twists at the thought. Will she? Alicent might do the job because she enjoys it but Rhaenyra had wanted nothing more than to get away from everyone and the way they looked at her.

“I don’t know, can we share a tower next time?”

-

Day 92

She’s sitting outside once again, her back leaned against the outside of the tower’s cab. Syrax is resting in her lap and Rhaenyra is nursing the last of the beers Alicent managed to get put into her most recent supply boxes. The fire she and Alicent decided to (unofficially) name “The Daddy Issues fire” is still burning out beyond the Godswood Tower off to her right, but it’s far enough away and has diminished enough that it barely interferes with seeing the stars.

“Did you pack?”

Rhaenyra thinks back to the stuff still scattered around her room.

“Uh… yeah.”

“Rhaenyra, we have to be out tomorrow.”

“What? Is the airbnb owner going to charge me extra if I’m not out by twelve?”

“No, but I’m gonna leave without you if you don’t get here on time.”

“Alicent, do you really think I’m going to miss my chance to see you? I’ll be there.”

“I’m nervous,” Alicent says quietly, like saying it will make it worse.

“Don’t be.”

“What if you think I’m a horrible hag?”

“Well, I mean you are so much older than me, I suppose it’s a possibility.”

“I’m being serious!”

“Alicent… you’re beautiful, I already see that.”

-

A Meeting

She wakes early the next day, not that she gets much sleep. As much as she wanted to reassure Alicent, she can’t deny she’s nervous too. Rhaenyra doesn’t think there’s any chance she could meet her and not want to kiss her, but the idea Alicent might reject her seems far more plausible.

Her bag is packed, something she did manage before laying down the night before, and she stands in front of Syrax’s box, hands on her hips as she chews at her lip.

“Listen, buddy, I’ve really enjoyed our time together and I kinda want you to come with me but I don’t know if that’s mean or not, and we might have to smuggle you out, I dunno.”

The turtle continues to chew away, and Rhaenyra picks her up, holding her against her own chest as she walks to the door.

She picks up the radio from the desk.

“Hey I’m setting off so uh… I’ll see you in a few hours,” she says, her stomach twisting at the words.

“Okay,” comes the reply immediately, “be careful. I’ll be waiting.”

Rhaenyra smiles and says goodbye, putting the radio back on its charging stand. She pauses in the doorway for a moment, looking back at what’s been her home for three months.

“I uh… I’ll be seeing you,” she says into the space.

At the bottom of the tower she places Syrax on the floor and moves away, smiling when the turtle starts to follow in her direction. She knows it’s probably coincidence, or just recognition of who has been giving her food for the last few months, but it makes her feel better about carrying her off with her.

She puts her headphones on for the first time in ages, listening to music instead of chatting away with Alicent about nothing. It feels strange, more isolating than she’s felt while in her tower alone over the last few weeks. It’s worth it for where she’s heading.

The hike to Alicent’s tower isn’t difficult, it’s just long. It takes about three hours, and the sun is much higher in the sky when she finally finds herself at the bottom of it. Part of her wants to do something ridiculous but she’s not sure she can risk being cringey the first time Alicent sees her in person.

She’s half way up the staircase when she finally hears a voice not tainted by radio static.

“Rhaenyra?”

She looks up. Big brown eyes stare down at her from over the side of the tower’s balcony. Rhaenyra can’t see much more of her apart from red curls, but it’s enough to make her heart race more than the hike did. She doesn’t respond, just starts taking the stairs two at a time.

“Be careful!” she can hear footsteps above her, rushing to the top of the staircase. They almost collide when she comes to a sudden halt at the top, and Alicent has to grab her hand to stop her losing her balance and falling back down the stairs. She pulls her forward instead, and Rhaenyra all but falls into her, landing squarely in her personal space.

Very smooth.

“You’re here,” Alicent says, and she sounds so shocked Rhaenyra can’t help but laugh.

“Did you think I was just going to up and leave. Really? After how pathetic I’ve been?”

“Oh you have not,” Alicent said, and Rhaenyra’s eyes go wide as she touches her face. She almost steps back over the edge of the staircase again in shock.

“Sorry,” Alicent apologises, still holding her in place so she can’t fall to her death. “Just… taking you in.“

“Same here,” Rhaenya breathes, her gaze flickering over every detail of the face she’s only been able to imagine until now. She’s beautiful, all big brown eyes and perfect skin, but Rhaenyra understands that someone like Alicent might not be able to describe herself as ‘a face you’d go to war for.’

Rhaenyra would, though.

“The Romeo description really was accurate,” Alicent says, and it only makes Rhaenyra laugh more, and before she knows it she’s leaning forward and kissing her.

It’s chaste, nervous excitement bubbling up out of her more than anything, but Alicent doesn’t push her down the stairs when she pulls away. She also doesn’t kiss her again, but she pulls Rhaenyra into a hug as she tries to separate from her completely.

“I can’t believe you’re here,” she whispers into her ear. Rhaenyra clings to her, the first physical contact she’s had in months, and suddenly it feels insane just how long she’s spent untouched.

They stand like that for minutes.

“C’mon,” Alicent says eventually, and Rhaenyra feels her having to push against her embrace to separate them. She relents, letting her arms drop to her side only for Alicent to quickly take up one of her hands.

“Come have a drink before we set off, I’ll make tea.”

-

Alicent instructs her to sit and relax once they’re inside, offering her the one chair, but Rhaenyra is immediately too distracted taking in the room. She moves slowly around the space as Alicent stands getting cups ready and boiling water.

Despite the fact it looks far neater than her own tower had been most of the time, the room feels entirely more lived in. The amount of stuff that’s still not packed away makes Rhaenyra think that maybe Alicent simply leaves things over the winter with the expectation of being back soon. There are string lights running around the four walls of the room close to the ceiling, and by the bed a speaker that looks like it has a slot for an old iPod to sit in. It’s sat on a full bookshelf that reaches up to Rhaenyra’s hip, and that’s crammed with paperbacks that range from schlocky romance to grizzly-looking true crime.

“I’m reading that one, don’t let me forget it,” Alicent says, catching her running her fingers over the cover of The Butcher of Castamere . The front is a black and white photo featuring a dug up body covered by a sheet, its feet sticking from the bottom the only part that’s visible.

“How the hell could you read stuff like this while staying out here?” Rhaenyra asks, looking back to her. Alicent just shrugs at her and hands her a mug, smiling sheepishly.

“It’s bears you need to worry about out here, Rhaenyra, not people,” she answers, sitting down on the bed. “This is the least likely place to get attacked by a serial killer.”

Rhaenyra hums an agreement to her point as she takes a sip, taking in the rest of the room. There’s a thick green rug in front of the bed that she avoids stepping on in her trainers as she moves across the room. She’s worried if she doesn’t distract herself she just might try kiss Alicent again, and she isn’t entirely sure how that will go.

On the desk is a framed photo of Alicent with two men. One of them is around the same age and sports the same red hair as Alicent herself, while the older man has a full beard dulled by grey, his stern eyes staring out of the photo even as his children smile. Next to it is a smaller photo of what must be Alicent as a baby, in the arms of a woman that could only be her mother. They’re strikingly similar.

“You leave these here?” Rhaenyra asks, looking back over her shoulder.

“They’re not originals, wouldn’t want them getting damaged,” Alicent says as an answer.

“I guess all this means you plan to come back here next year.”

Rhaenyra bypasses the chair and walks towards the bed, sitting down on the edge of it side by side with Alicent. She can’t help herself, but she keeps both hands wrapped around her cup to occupy them.

“This place is my home.” Alicent smiles a certain way when she says it, and Rhaenyra feels like she recognises something in her voice that tells her she’s probably smiled that way every time she’s said it over the radio too.

“It’s nice to see how much you love it here.”

“You haven’t become a fan, then?”

Rhaenyra laughs and rubs at the back of her neck.

“Don’t get me wrong, it's beautiful out here,” she says, head turning slowly to look through all the windows. Eventually she settles her gaze on Alicent and smiles. “I think my enjoyment might depend on the company, though.”

Alicent blushes and she can only grin harder.

They sit and chat quietly while they have their drinks. Rhaenyra catches Alicent sneaking as many glances at her as she is at Alicent, before Rhaenyra eventually turns her body towards her when it starts to feel like they’re being ridiculous.

“Shall we get going then?” Alicent asks finally, after the drinks are gone and they’ve still been sitting for fifteen minutes after that. Rhaenyra nods and gets to her feet, while Alicent takes the mugs over to the sink to clean before they leave.

“Hey, wait a minute,” Rhaenyra comes to a stop with her gaze fixed just above the door. There’s a plank of old looking wood nailed in place in the space between the frame and the ceiling, sporting the worn painted words ‘Bottom’s Point.’

“You’re the one that stole th-”

She swallows the rest of the words as she spins to find Alicent right behind her, and suddenly her lips are back on her own. Rhaenyra stumbles back a few paces as she catches Alicent’s weight and falls against the door, meeting her eagerness with her own.

They don’t leave for another hour.

-

“We’re definitely going to be late.”

“Well, my legs are still jelly thanks to you, so don’t expect to get to the halfway point today.”

-

“Hey can we stop here for a second, I gotta check on something.”

“Sure…”

“It’ll only take a second.”

“Rhaenyra, is that a turtle?!”

“Syrax, say hi!”

-

They don’t get to where they expected, which means they won’t reach the exit until later tomorrow, but Rhaenyra finds she doesn’t mind. 

She’d be half tempted to get lost just to spend more time with Alicent if that wouldn’t result in one of them probably eating the other (not even in a good way) or the risk of running into that witch lady she never wants to see again.

It’s a little colder than it has been, as the summer comes to an end, but this too Rhaenyra doesn’t mind when it gives them an excuse to huddle together as they lay down to sleep. She kisses Alicent soft and slow in the limited light from their lamp. Alicent traces her jaw with a finger after they part, leans forward to rest their foreheads together and sighs softly.

“Tomorrow?” Rhaenyra asks quietly, letting it hang between them.

“I don’t know,” Alicent admits.

-

A Goodbye

They reach the exit about four hours later than they expected to when they made plans days before, and Rhaenyra thinks they’ve both been taking it slower than they usually would. 

They check in at the ranger station close by, let them know they’ve made it and debrief with one of them for a while. Rhaenyra finds she’s barely even paying attention, his voice a distant echo in the background as her attention keeps getting pulled back to Alicent. She tries to focus but it seems impossible, despite the fact Alicent herself is nothing but professional and Rhaenyra is just staring at her profile half the time while she nods and answers questions.

By the end of the meeting she thinks the ranger they’re speaking to might think she’s been traumatised by the whole experience, since he’s barely gotten anything of substance from her, but he lets them leave with a smile and a thank you.

“I think Erryk might call you if they need any more information for paperwork,” Alicent says, when they’re back outside and heading towards where Rhaenyra left her car.

“Who?”

“The ranger, Rhaenyra. You know, the one you ignored to stare at my lips the whole time?" She's teasing, but Rhaenyra still sees a light blush across her cheeks.

“Sorry, couldn’t help it.”

They still hadn’t talked about everything. What they’re doing, what they are , if it goes anywhere once they set foot outside of the park and back into their real lives. Two days with her in person might be all she ever gets, and Rhaenyra plans for as much of them to be spent memorising her as possible.

“Well… this is me,” Alicent says, stopping by a very sensible looking little car.

Rhaenyra glances around to spot her own a few feet away. It’s covered in bird shit. She groans.

“Looks expensive,” Alicent laughs.

“Yeah, unless the paint job is completely ruined, that stuff is corrosive,”

Alicent’s laughter fades out and they stand regarding each other. Rhaenyra shoves her hands into the pocket of her hoodie and rests one lightly on top of Syrax’s shell, the turtle huddled inside.

“So about that date?” she asks, hesitantly.

“Rhaenyra…”

“Oh.”

“No. No ,” Alicent marches towards her and grabs her wrist as Rhaenyra looks away. “I want to, I do, truly.”

“Then why these answers every time I ask?”

“Because no one comes out here without something being wrong with them.”

“Alicent-”

“No, I mean it. We’ve both got stuff going on and you know it. Mine’s my fault, it shouldn’t still be hanging over me years later, but your dad just died, Rhaenyra. You have four siblings you feel like you barely know, you came here thinking about just cutting yourself off from them for the rest of your life. You need to go deal with that.”

“I will, that doesn’t mean-”

“You need it without a new relationship influencing where you want to be and what you want to do with your life. And I need to fully scrub Criston Cole from mine instead of dragging his corpse around.”

“He’s dead?!”

“Metaphorical corpse. Our relationship’s corpse.”

Rhaenyra snorts and feels her body relax a little.

“I’m gonna be back and forth to Oldtown for a while, and well… I started planning a book while we were here and I wanna see how it goes. I'm sick of writing Buzzfeed articles and reporting celebrity gossip. I need some time to just… work out who I am again.”

“And I need time to find out what being a big sister is like,” Rhaenyra concedes. It feels right, Alicent is right, but it still twists with disappointment and forms a lump in her throat.

“This isn’t a no,” Alicent assures her, leaning in to softly kiss her lips.

“This isn’t a no,” Rhaenyra confirms, nodding to herself, she wraps her arms around Alicent, not wanting her to pull away.

“I need your number,” Alicent says, twisting the pull string of her hoodie around one of her fingers. “And I want pictures. Keep me updated on what’s going on, I want to see your siblings. Stay in touch, share things with me. I’ll be in King’s Landing sometimes, let's make plans when I am, if you’re free.”

Rhaenyra laughs, silencing her with another kiss.

“You’re rambling.”

“Yeah, well, this isn’t fun for me either, you know? I like you, Rhaenyra.”

“I like you too, Ali.”

“Hmm… not sure how I feel about Ali.”

“We’ll workshop it.”

“Come back next year?”

“Here?”

“Yeah, come back. We’ll see where we’re at in a year.” Alicent reaches up and runs her fingers through the side of Rhaenyra’s hair as she smirks. “Maybe I can even pull some strings, say I need extra hands at my tower.”

“It’d be awfully cramped.”

“I’m sure we could make it work.”

Rhaenyra leans in and kisses her again. She’s not sure either of them would have found it in themselves to stop had they not fallen hard against the side of Alicent’s car and caused the alarm to start blaring.

Alicent separates from her reluctantly to find the keys in her bag and by the time she’s got them Rhaenyra feels a bit more in control of herself.

“I guess we should go,” she says, shifting awkwardly from one foot to the other.

“Yeah, I guess so,” Alicent agrees, a sad smile on her face as she hovers by her open car door.

“See you in a year?”

“Sooner, hopefully.”

“Goodbye, Alicent.”

“Goodbye, Rhaenyra.”

Rhaenyra takes a last look and turns away towards her car.

She makes it five paces before she hears Alicent speak again.

“How about a coffee first? I know a place.”