Chapter Text
Weeks had flown by, Shouto’s mind mostly occupied by their trip – the first holiday he and Touya had ever been on, the first time the two of them had been stuck together all day long for three whole weeks.
Something had kept nagging at the back of his mind.
The first few days in his apartment had felt strange. Touya had spent the first night in his guest room after they’d watched a movie, one that his brother had picked from “The List” that his classmates kept updating for him (it was a pinned message in their group chat, containing all kinds of media that they wanted him to consume at some point), had left the day after for his mandatory therapy session and had returned that same evening, seeming pensive. Shouto hadn’t asked about the session, but he’d figured that they’d started discussing Touya’s diary entries from their holiday. He was very curious, but he didn’t pry.
He’d replayed those moments on the long, red-lacquered bridge in Matsushima Bay in his mind over and over. They hadn’t talked about it again.
Winter had arrived. There had even been some snow, a rarity for Tokyo.
He’d tried to pay attention to things that had changed after their return. It didn’t seem like there was much of a difference at first.
Something kept nagging at the back of his mind.
He’d gone back to his hero work, Touya attended his mandatory therapy sessions and spent most of his time in Shouto’s apartment, not leaving the building unless he had to.
However.
His brother had bought two books.
One was a comprehensive guide about the prefecture of Aomori and its history.
The other was a beginner’s guide to photography.
Touya hadn’t bought a camera yet, but he seemed interested in the subject. Shouto had stopped asking about it, but he remained hopeful.
His brother had also gone back to working on the apology letters, unprompted. They weren’t finished, not quite.
“I dunno. Something’s still missing.”
He’d thought a lot about taking more time off. Maybe they could go somewhere in spring.
Maybe.
Shouto had visited Natsuo, Hisa and Akiko together with his mum and Fuyumi one day after his twentieth birthday. He’d stared in wonder as his niece, held by Hisa, had wrapped her tiny hand around his index finger. He’d held the small frog toy in the other hand, her dark eyes widening when she spotted it, waving her other hand in what he’d assumed to be excitement. They’d eaten the Kininaru Ringo he’d bought on their trip later that day.
He’d felt guilty the whole time, thinking about Touya. Fuyumi had dropped the topic just like she’d promised, but she’d kept sending him sad glances during their visit. They hadn’t talked about it on their drive there or on the way back since their mum had also been present. They hadn’t told their parents about the incident that had occurred shortly after Akiko’s birth.
Touya had had a nightmare that night, the first one Shouto had witnessed since their trip. He’d only noticed because he’d stayed up later than usual.
There was no fixing this. He hated it.
It was a Sunday afternoon, the one day of the week that he always took off. Shouto was currently splayed out on the futon in his room, scrolling through the photos on his phone.
He still didn’t have one of him and Touya together.
He sighed, tossing the device onto the tatami flooring that covered his room. The slightly bouncy texture of the familiar mats felt pleasant under his feet as he got up, stretched his limbs, picked up the phone, stuffed it into the pockets of his sweatpants, put on his grey whisker slippers and slid open the shoji doors leading to the kitchen and living room.
He made his way to the counter and grabbed his “UA alumni” mug from the cabinet before starting the expensive Italian coffee machine placed on top, wondering if the noise of the integrated coffee grinder would wake up Touya, who was sleeping in the guest room.
He thought back to his brother’s twenty-eighth birthday around one month ago. It had been a Saturday, otherwise Shouto would’ve skipped his hero work on that day. It had been Fuyumi’s idea to spend the day together, the three of them ending up on Shouto’s expensive designer couch, watching a movie (one that his brother had picked from “The List”) on his expensive wall-mounted TV. Fuyumi had tried to talk Touya into going somewhere during the day, but their brother had refused to move from the couch once he’d arrived. He’d apparently received a call from their parents earlier, which had left him in a gloomy mood.
Natsuo hadn’t called or texted any of them on that day.
The day had ended with Fuyumi leaving for her home, a smile on her face as she waved him good-bye outside his apartment and with Touya passed out on the couch after the movie had ended. Shouto had covered him with one of his many blankets and had sat down at the kitchen table, looking down at the city lights, unsure about how to feel. Touya had ended up staying the night, as he usually did, but they hadn’t really talked about anything on the next day.
Shouto stared at the dark liquid pouring into his favourite mug, feeling a little exhausted when thinking about the upcoming week. He kept getting bombarded with agency offers. He still didn’t feel like settling down work-wise.
Something kept nagging at the back of his mind.
The coffee was done. He eyed the corridor leading towards the guest room, but he hadn’t heard anything.
He thought about mountainsides, rivers, ocean views and hot springs.
He’d been under the impression that Touya had wanted to do something at times, but ended up staying in this apartment, still not allowed to own any devices with online access.
Shouto took the mug out from under the coffee machine, wrapping both hands around it for a few seconds before setting it down on the dinner table, sitting down on one of the bar stools, facing the window. It wouldn’t be long until the cherry blossoms appeared.
He couldn’t really put a finger on the details, but he could tell that his and Touya’s relationship had improved after their holiday. They hadn’t had any meaningful talks, but there hadn’t been any upsetting incidents apart from his brother’s nightmare after his visit to Natsuo’s.
But something was off. He felt like he was sitting in front of a giant puzzle, missing one last piece.
He sighed into his mug.
He couldn’t ask anyone for advice. He had no idea what the problem even was. It was frustrating.
He’d replayed those moments on the long, red-lacquered bridge in Matsushima Bay in his mind over and over. They hadn’t talked about it again.
He thought about mountainsides, rivers, ocean views and hot springs.
Something kept nagging at the back of his mind.
He stared at the dark liquid inside his favourite mug.
Footsteps approached, their sound muffled by grey whisker slippers.
Silence.
He kept staring into his mug.
The footsteps came closer.
“Hey.”
He looked up as Touya sat down on the stool opposite of him. His brother looked about as tired as he felt, crossing his arms to use as a pillow for his head, not meeting Shouto's gaze.
“Did you sleep until now?”
“Yeah.”
“Why?”
Silence.
“Did you have another nightmare?”
“No.”
His brother lifted his head, scratching at the staples below his cheekbones.
“Stop that.”
Burned fingers halted in their movement.
Touya lowered his hand.
“I went for a walk after midnight.”
“Really? I didn’t hear you leave.”
“Didn’t wanna wake you up. It’s hella empty in the city before all the commuters start moving.”
“Oh. I never thought about that.”
“Mhm.”
“Where’d you go?”
“Aoyama Cemetery.”
“Wasn’t it cold outside?”
“No idea.”
Silence.
“You should try the bathtub.”
“Yeah. Not gonna be as good as an onsen though.”
“I know.”
Touya folded his arms again, resting his chin on top, looking pensive.
“You gonna take time off again?”
“I think so. I need to check my schedule.”
“‘Kay.”
Silence.
“Do you wanna go somewhere specific?”
“Dunno. Would be easier to look shit up if those commission dipshits would give me a real phone already.”
Shouto frowned.
“Did you ask?”
“Yeah. Even talked to the Hawks bastard directly. He said no.”
“Why?”
“I don’t fucking know. ‘Not part of the programme’ or whatever.”
Touya scoffed.
“Maybe they need to add some shitty point system to their shitty programme. Did I collect enough good boy points to get a real phone? Am I allowed to have a laptop yet? Am I old enough to browse the scary internet? Fuck.”
“Did they tell you if there was something you could do to change their mind?”
“They just said no.”
“Did you ask the old man?”
“Yeah. Hawks also told him no.”
“That’s… a first.”
“I think the police is blocking it, I don’t know. Maybe they don’t have enough resources to monitor more of my shit. I don’t fucking know.”
Touya let out a sigh, lifting his head.
“Gonna try that bathtub of yours, I guess.”
“I bought five different types of bubble bath.”
“I don’t care about bubbles.”
“The different smells provide different experiences.”
“Uh-huh.”
Touya lifted his right arm, lazily flicking two fingers against his forehead.
Shouto felt his brows furrow in confusion.
“What’d you flick my forehead for?”
“You deserved it.”
“Did not.”
“You did.”
“Did not.”
“You did.”
Silence.
Shouto lifted his left arm, slowly flicking two fingers against his brother’s forehead.
Light grey brows furrowed in irritation as a burned hand swatted his own away after the successful flick.
“You little shit.”
“You deserved it.”
“Did not.”
“You did.”
“Did not.”
“You did.”
Touya stood up, shuffling towards the bathroom, dressed in his black sweatpants, black shirt and Fuyumi’s grey whisker slippers.
He looked outside the window.
Something kept nagging at the back of his mind.
What was he missing?
It wouldn’t be long until the cherry blossoms appeared.
He thought about those moments on the long, red-lacquered bridge.
He thought about mountainsides, rivers, ocean views and hot springs.
He thought about taking time off in spring. It would be a good time for a holiday, maybe another two or three weeks.
But that wasn’t it. Not quite.
Something kept nagging at the back of his mind.
Oh.
Oh.
His eyes widened.
There.
Right there.
He’d found the missing piece.
His heart beat a little faster.
The solution was simple.
Well, it was simple, but getting there wouldn’t be easy.
He’d make it work.
Shouto took his phone out of his pocket.
He wouldn’t need to ask anyone for advice this time. He knew what he had to do.
He eyed the corridor leading towards the guest room and the bathroom.
He felt the corners of his mouth pull up into a smile.
He had to make some phone calls.