Work Text:
Kaiser sighed in annoyance as he walked quietly down a street near the Bastard München dormitories.
A few hours ago they had won an important game against RB Leipzig and were closer to facing their eternal rival: Dortmund, so the victory in this match had been quite satisfying.
Leipzig had played well but Bastard München had been better and after a hard-fought game, they had won. Their coach was so happy, he had invited the boys to a party and although Michael didn't want to go, he knew it was important to maintain an image of someone who got along well with his teammates so that future recruiters would take that into account, after all, soccer is a team sport and the big leagues were full of teams where it was important that the players got along well with each other.
In the end, he had stayed at the party for half an hour and when he saw that the coach and the staff were starting to get drunk, he took advantage of the moment to make the excuse that he was exhausted from that day's game and was going to rest. Before any adult could say anything to him, he had grabbed his backpack and quickly left the place.
Luckily for him, the chosen venue was a little more than a ten minute walk from the dorms, so he decided to walk a bit and let the cold night air clear his head....
Within a few steps, he realized that it was quite cold that night and even though he liked the cold weather, his body had a limit and since he hadn't showered after the game, his body absorbed the cold more than usual.
He zipped up his jacket and continued walking down the deserted street.
He looked around boredly. There was no one on the street, so he couldn't be distracted by watching others, instead, he observed the skirting floor, then shifted his gaze to the leaves of the trees that were scattered on the ground, he looked up as the street was illuminated with a dim orange light coming from the street lamps.
A slight breeze came through and made Michael shiver a little.
“When I get to the dorms, I'll take a shower and go to sleep. I'm tired.”
He took a deep breath and felt the cold air fill his lungs.
He hugged himself a little to keep warm as he continued walking.
This feeling of the cold seeping into his bones was not new, he had felt it many times when he was younger, especially when he was a child and preferred to stay for hours on the street rather than return to the hell that should be called home.
He walked a few more meters and suddenly, he stopped.
He turned his face to the side and looked at the entrance to the park.
He could either continue down the street or cross the park and get to the residence first.
Which option he chose? the park was faster, but it was poorly lit and since there were no covered areas such as houses or buildings, then the cold was more intense... However, the idea of reaching his destination in about 7 minutes was tempting.
For a few seconds, his mind compared both options.
Go the longer and safer way or the shorter and colder way?
----
He hugged himself again.
Was it his imagination or had the temperature dropped?
He moved his gaze around the place, observing how a faint white light illuminated the concrete path, he looked at the trees, most of them were already beginning to have the brown leaves of autumn, so at any moment, the ground would be full of leaves and children playing with them.
He moved his gaze sideways out of pure habit, looking to see if there was any danger, however, the park seemed completely empty.
A feeling of nostalgia came over him.
Ah, now that he thought about it, how long had it been since he had been to the park?
When he bought the soccer ball, almost every day he was in the park kicking the ball or just sitting on the grass with the ball for company... those moments were special for him, because it was his moment: he didn't have to worry about doing something wrong and his father hitting him, he didn't have to be on constant alert for his father's sudden mood changes, nor worry about the police... there, in the park, he could be just another kid, a normal kid who went to play ball... those little moments were really precious to him.
He stopped in front of an empty playground. The slide, the swings, the handrail... everything felt terribly lonely and sad when there was no child playing there.
He watched each game and a feeling of melancholy came over him.
He took a step forward and looked at the sandy ground a few meters away from him, if he took a couple more steps, he would enter the playground and-
He stepped back.
What was he doing? he wasn't a child anymore, he was an adult and had a job and obligations to fulfill, he had no time to waste on children's games, besides-
He felt a stab in his heart.
The Michael boy, who went to play in the park, was forgotten and buried deep in his mind... there he was fine.
He felt as if a hand grabbed his heart and squeezed it, it was a truly horrible feeling, but much to his regret, it was a familiar feeling to him.
He shook his head.
The best thing would be to go to the residence and stop remembering the past, that would not bring anything good.
Suddenly, he felt something touching his arm, so out of pure instinct, he jumped back and looked quickly to where the thing that had touched him was and-
“Ness?”
The magenta haired one blinked in confusion, “Kaiser, are you okay?”
“What are you doing here?” he asked as the fast pounding of his heart slowly returned to normal.
“You left the party quickly and I thought something must have upset you. I was worried about you...”
He raised an eyebrow, “I'm fine, I simply wanted to go to the residence to rest.”
“I see...”
The blond looked at the other's face. Ness had delicate skin, so when it got a little cold, his cheeks and nose would quickly turn red and this time was no exception. Kaiser always assumed it was because the midfielder had had a good life and it was normal for him to be more delicate than he was, however, despite the years they had known each other, he had never seen Ness get sick, so it was something that caught his attention and even if he didn't say it out loud, he looked forward to the cold season in case the other ever got sick. It wasn't fair that Alexis had seen him sick and he could never tease the midfielder about being sick.
“Kaiser, is something wrong?”
The blond realized he was frowning, so he relaxed his brow a little, “Nothing.”
“Oh, okay.”
“You're red.”
Ness blinked in confusion, “what? ah, you mean my face? well, it's pretty cold.”
He sighed in annoyance, “and your gloves? you usually always wear them this time of year.”
“Ah, since the weather was nice today, I thought it wouldn't get so cold in the evening and...,” he sighed defeatedly, “I left them in the room.”
The blond watched as the other brought his hands up to his mouth and blew some hot air to warm his hands without much success.
He raised an annoyed eyebrow and stretched his hands out, leaving them in front of Ness, who watched him without understanding what Michael wanted him to do. Kaiser frowned and shook his hands a little.
Alexis continued to look at him blankly, but moved his hands closer to the other's and when they were close, the blue-eyed one put both of the midfielder's hands together and gave him a few small smacks on the back of his hands.
“Kaiser! That hurt!”
“But your hands aren't so cold anymore, are they?”
The magenta-eyed one raised a confused eyebrow, “well, that's true but...”
“But nothing,” he shoved his hands inside his jacket pockets, ”you're better now.”
Alexis sighed again tiredly, well, he was in front of Kaiser, by now, he should be used to it.
He moved his gaze to the side and looked at the playground.
Oh, that brought back quite a few memories. His parents didn't like him playing outside, as it was filled with germs and he could get contaminated, however, he had always been very curious and somewhat disobedient, so he used to go play in the park. He loved that place, everything was so bright, alive, everyone there was free to do whatever they wanted, so he could let his imagination run wild... that place was full of magic.
Before Michael could say anything, Alexis left his bag by the side of the path, on the grass, and walked over to the handrail.
“Ness, you're not a kid anymore. Let's go home.”
But the other boy ignored him and put his hands on the handrail. “Come on, Kaiser, it'll only take a moment,” he watched as the other folded his arms in annoyance, ”we're all day training and playing soccer, because we take a while to do something else, nothing will happen.”
Kaiser wanted to go to his room already and he knew that convincing Ness was easy enough, the other boy was quite accommodating, so it wouldn't take him more than a couple of sentences to convince him that they should leave, however-
He sighed in annoyance.
He went back to staring at the sandy floor.
He took a step forward but quickly stopped. Was what he was doing right? it was better to go to his room and not open a wound that had never healed.
Michael took a deep breath and decided to sit down on the grass next to Ness's bag.
With his fingers he brushed the cold grass and then placed his hands on the ground.
He lifted his head to the sky, while with his ears he could catch his midfielder humming some song unknown to him.
He watched the dark sky for a few seconds, the truth was that there was nothing interesting there, so he lowered his gaze and looked at the magenta-haired boy.
The other one was still on the handrail playing, it was like watching a little kid having fun.
The blue-eyed boy observed the amused expression on Alexis' face. Truly, it was like watching a child playing although well, that wasn't far from reality, after all, Ness was very childish in many of the things he did and being honest, that wasn't something that bothered Michael. Alexis was a childish person and passionate about what he loved, he had a really big imagination and was someone quite attached to his principles... however, he was also a person who was easily manipulated, emotional, got carried away, acted before thinking, was too innocent, and while those qualities were not something that Kaiser was attracted to in another person, Alexis was the exception. The loyalty and love that the midfielder gave to others, was something so pure and without any intention behind it, that he admittedly found it hard to believe that someone like that existed.
Ness was a difficult person to understand and also generated in Michael body certain reactions that he did not know how to explain.
He watched as the midfielder stepped off the handrail and looked up at the sky, remaining in that position for several seconds.
Michael also looked up, expecting to find something new in the sky, but it was the same view as before.
He heard the other's footsteps approaching him and followed him with his eyes until he saw Alexis sitting next to him.
“Are you tired of playing, Ness?”
“It's been fun~ we could go up on the swings~”
“It's cold and your face and hands are all red, you're going to end up with a cold,” ah, wait, that was good, he could tease the other, finally!
“Do you want to go to the dorm already?”
The blond looked into the other's huge magenta eyes. Ness was not only an emotional person, but he also had that uncanny ability to convey his emotions through his gaze and that was something that caught Michael's attention. He had rather cold blue eyes, which contrasted perfectly with how warm the other's gaze was.
It was... odd.
Kaiser didn't usually pay that much attention to other people's features, but again, Alexis was the exception.
It felt so warm to look at the other, that if the midfielder hadn't shaken his head in confusion, the blond would have continued to watch him without saying anything.
He coughed a little.
“We can stay a while longer,” huh...what was he saying? he wanted to go to the dorm already, take a shower and go to bed...ugh, stupid Ness and his stupid ability to waste his time on nonsense.
“Yay~”
He sighed tiredly, “god, it's like being with a child.”
Alexis' smile got even bigger and coupled with those expressive eyes full of happiness and his flushed cheeks, made Michael avert his gaze in embarrassment.
Stupid heart, stop beating so fast.
Out of the corner of his eye, he watched as the other looked up at the sky.
“Ah, Kaiser! The Moon looks really beautiful today and the sky is so clear, you can see several stars!”
The blond blinked in confusion and looked up as well and sure enough, the Moon and stars were visible. It was weird, it hadn't even been five minutes since he had seen the sky, it was impossible that the firmament now had different objects to observe.
“You know?” said Ness in such a low tone, that if it wasn't for the blond standing next to him, then he wouldn't have heard him, ”when I was little, I liked to go out in the garden and lie on the grass... I liked to watch the sky at night, it was so relaxing and beautiful... The truth is that I don't remember why I started doing it but even today, it still thrills me like the first day...”
Kaiser continued to quietly watch the moon, “whenever we travel at night, you ask for the window, is it to see the sky?”
“Yes. Does it bother you?”
He shook his head, “no. I fall asleep early, so it would be a waste to be in the window seat.”
“I see,” he looked down to watch the other. “Hey, Kaiser, don't you like to see the starry sky?”
He blinked, “not that I like it, but I don't dislike it either...it's not something I usually do.”
When he lived with his father, the man used to refuse to open the curtains in the house, and when he was on the street, he was more aware of what was going on around him and the last thing he did was raise his head, after all, someone attacking you from above was not a common occurrence.
He could understand that a person with a more normal childhood like Ness could afford to relax.
Ness clasped his hands together and began to play with his fingers, it was quite cold that night, so his hands were freezing.
It was best to get back to the dorm soon, but he liked spending time alone with Kaiser so he could put up with that situation a little longer.
Lately, the blond seemed quite stressed, he was training more, his fights with the trainer were lasting longer and he was even eating less, so Alexis was worried about the other's health. He had tried to talk to the striker and convince him that he should rest, but the other had continued with the overexertion, so the fact that he could distract himself for a while right now, would be good for him... even if the midfielder froze to death, it would be worth it if Kaiser felt better.
He looked up again, gazing at the vast dark sky.
“The sky feels like something so magical.”
Michael raised an eyebrow, “magical?”
“Yes! Magic and the universe are almost inexplicable things and the more we try to know, the more doubts arise. That's why when I look at the sky and think of all that's yet to be discovered out there, I can't help but compare it to magic.”
Kaiser lowered his gaze and looked again at the midfielder's face.
The light from the street lamps was at his back, so much of the illumination was coming from the moon. This made Alexis' face glow with a faint white light and his features looked almost angelic.
Ness also lowered his head and their gazes met.
The magenta eyes lit up with such a delicate glow that Michael could only describe it as: beautiful.
Michael felt his heart racing, the strange sensation of having an insect fluttering in his stomach once again took over and despite the cold, he felt his face grow warm and his mouth go dry.
“Kaiser?” he said in a sweet voice.
“It's okay,” he averted his face to the side.
Ness blinked in confusion. He hadn't said anything that would upset the other, had he?
A gust of wind moved the leaves, causing several to fall to the ground or fly off and one of them ended up on the blond's hair.
Ness slowly reached out his hand and grabbed it. At that moment, the other moved his face again and both of their gazes met again.
Alexis had watched Michael's face so many times, he knew it better than his own and yet, at this moment, it felt as if it was the first time he was seeing it.
Ness felt his body tremble and his face redden even more, if that was even possible.
His heart raced at the sight of the blue eyes. He loved those eyes so much. Even though the blond had never told him his story, he could see through his eyes the suffering and loneliness Michael had gone through, but also the resilience and the will to continue forward... Alexis found that such a beautiful thing, but he didn't have the courage to say it out loud. What if Kaiser got angry and didn't want to talk to him again? he couldn't stand the blond's indifference.
“Beautiful,” Ness said oblivious.
“What?”
“A-ah,” he let go of the leaf. Shit, he'd gotten caught up in the moment and had over-spoken! “Your eyes.”
“What?” the blond repeated uncomprehendingly. Ah, wait, he was saying his eyes were pretty? well, to him, Alexis' eyes were even more so.
“I mean you have really pretty eyes, Kaiser. You know? sometimes I feel like I'm looking at the sky when I see your eyes.”
“Ah,” oh, was it the color? he was a little disappointed, ”yeah well, they're blue like the sky.”
He blinked and shook his head, “no, it's not about the color it's more about the feeling,” seeing the blond's confused look, he continued speaking, “when I see the sky, I feel like I'm seeing something magical and profound,” he looked up to look at the dark sky, “it's relaxing and even hopeful to see the sky...haha, I don't really know quite how to explain it but...”
Silence fell for a couple of seconds.
Ness trying to put into words his feelings and Kaiser waiting to hear what the other would say.
“Kaiser's eyes are cold and even lonely...”
Ah, that had hurt. But the blond couldn't deny reality. He had the same eyes as his father, so he knew he didn't have pretty eyes.
“They're deep and it seems as if you're looking into infinity... However, there's also hope and change...,” he lowered his face and their gazes met, “it's like looking at a star in the sky, you're the Sun. You are never standing still, always moving forward, looking for a change, a new place... there are no limits for you. The sky is full of stars, however, there are some that stand out the most and you are one of them.” He smiled and rested his face in the palm of his hand. “There are millions of stars in the sky and I've been lucky enough to be able to be in the same one as you.”
Kaiser's eyes widened in surprise.
Ness was not a person who knew how to express his feelings well and yet right now he had opened up in such a natural way that it had taken him by surprise. The other's inexplicable behavior became even more confusing to him, but he was sure of one thing, the honesty in the other's words were real.
He felt Ness's warm gaze warm his body.
Ness looked at the sky again, “The moon is brighter today than usual, it's beautiful.”
“It's just like you.”
He blinked in confusion and looked at the blond, “What?” he would have misheard?
Ah, shit, he'd said it out loud. He coughed, “I mean if I'm the Sun, you're the Moon, Ness.”
“The Moon?”
“Yeah,” it was hard to look Alexis in the eye right now, not because he was embarrassed! He just... preferred to watch the sky, so he lifted his face to the firmament, ”the Moon is always in the sky, but we don't usually pay attention to it. It's really important for the Earth, but since it's always there, silent and following us, we don't give it the importance it deserves.”
The blond took a deep breath and looked at the midfielder again.
“Thanks to you, I have been able to get to where I am and play freely... The Sun only accompanies you during the day, but the Moon accompanies you all day long...”
“Kaiser...”
“Thank you, Ness.”
Thank you for always being with me and never leaving me alone.
Alexis felt his vision blurred and before the blond could say anything, the midfielder made a quick move and ended up hugging the striker, however, it was so sudden and with so much force, that the other was not prepared for the other's action and they ended up both falling down lying on the grass.
Michael was the one who received the hard blow, as he is the one who stayed down while Alexis was on top and the other's body had cushioned the blow.
Kaiser was going to protest the blow and besides, he was not a person who liked physical contact.
He felt the magenta-eyed one hide his face in his chest and his arms wrapped tightly around the blond's neck.
Michael sighed.
Well, Alexis was always the exception.
He slowly moved one of his hands and placed it on top of the other's head, tangling his fingers in the midfielder's magenta blond locks. He gently stroked the other's head and smiled, Alexis had always been a sentimental person and one who cried frequently, so it was no surprise that right now he was doing so.
He looked up at the sky.
The moon and the stars were still in the firmament, but this time, a cloud covered the moon a little, however, the brightness of the moon was so strong, that it still stood out in the sky.
He stayed like that for a few seconds and finally realized that his words and reality complemented each other. Before, when he had arrived there and had looked up at the sky for the first time, the moon was already there, but he hadn't paid attention to it... It wasn't that the sky had changed, it was that he wasn't looking at it.
How many times had he done the same with Alexis?
Being completely honest, although he was unable to describe what he felt for the midfielder, he was sure of one thing and that was that the other's company had given him what he was looking for: not to feel alone.
Ness was always with him and no matter how badly he treated him, the other one always remained by his side....
Ah, it was like his soccer ball... no matter how much he kicked it, it always came back. Without the ball he couldn't play... And without Ness? what would he do without Ness?
A cold wind blew through the place and Kaiser felt Ness shiver slightly.
At what point had the temperature dropped so low and why hadn't any of them noticed?
No, surely Alexis had noticed, but he didn't say anything because he knew Michael liked the cold.
“I think,” the blond said quietly, ”it's time for us to head for the dorm.”
“Uhm.”
Kaiser pulled them both up, causing them to stay seated. Due to the previous position, Ness ended up sitting on the striker's thighs and at last, lifted his face.
Michael brought one of his hands up to Alexis' face, wiping away some tears. It was strange but even though the magenta-haired one was someone who cried often, his tears always looked different and he didn't know if it was because of his own fetish, but the other's face looked really pretty when he cried.
“Your hand,” Ness said, ”it's cold...”
Kaiser raised an eyebrow and was about to complain at the other's obvious words, but instead, he placed both hands on the midfielder's hot cheeks, making the midfielder jump a little due to the sudden change in temperature on his face.
Michael started laughing due to the other's reaction.
Ness closed his eyes in embarrassment and without realizing it, began to laugh too at the absurdity of the situation.
They stayed like that for a while longer, truth be told neither of them knew how much time passed, but the striker's cold hands began to warm up and the touch felt warmer.
Alexis opened his eyes when he felt the other lower his hands and watched the blond's face.
“Kaiser, you're flushed, do you have a fever?”
“Huh?”
Ness was going to touch the other's forehead with his hand, but with how cold it was, he wouldn't be able to feel the actual temperature, so he opted to do something else.
Kaiser's eyes widened in surprise when the other rested his forehead against his.
His heart raced again.
“Kaiser, you have a fever,” he said in an innocent voice, being completely unaware of what it produced in the striker.
Michael gulped and frowned, “your forehead is as usual, how come you never get a cold?”
“Eh? well, I guess since I liked to play in the snow and I was always outside, I'm more resistant...,” he replied and at that moment, he realized the position they were in, so he quickly turned his face away embarrassed, ”s-sorry...”
Ness stood up and reached out, helping the striker to his feet. He picked up his bag and placed it on his shoulder as he watched the other wipe the dirt off his pants.
Kaiser frowned even more and with one of his hands, ruffled Ness' hair, he was annoyed...the other was never going to get sick!? so he could never tease the other.....
And, even if he didn't want to admit it, he liked that Alexis took care of him when he was sick, he would also like to take care of the other... after all, in the books he read about Psychology, it always talked about the importance of reciprocal behavior.
To be honest, he had never been cared for when he lived with his father, so the fact that someone was looking out for how you were feeling and that you were getting better was a warm feeling that warmed his body, so he would like to be the one caring for someone else and know if the feeling was the same.
The blond grabbed the other's hand and started walking towards their initial destination: the residence.
Ness felt the other's strong grip on his hand but he wasn't going to complain, he likes when Kaiser touching him. Even though he wasn't a person who liked physical contact, he made the exception for Michael...well, Kaiser was always the exception to everything in his life, so it was okay.
He opened his mouth to say something, but saw that the blond's neck and ears were red. His first thought was that it was because of the cold, but after blinking a couple of times, he remembered that when Kaiser was embarrassed, those areas were the first to redden... That made him blush too and since he couldn't see the other's face, then he could allow himself to imagine whatever he wanted and his mind wanted to believe that it was Alexis himself causing that blush.
He lifted his magenta eyes and looked up at the sky: the bright Moon and the small stars were still in the firmament, along with a couple of slowly moving clouds.
It was such a beautiful sight... so magical.
He smiled.
Ever since he was a little boy, he loved watching the sky and when he moved to Munich, he realized that the sky had changed... it had less color, less life, it was less magical... and that scared him. However, since Kaiser came into his life like an earthquake and turned everything upside down, he began to notice that the sky was regaining that life it had always had. It was also recovering little by little that magic it had when he was little, but it still had a long way to go... however, it was still beautiful.
He shifted his gaze and watched the moon, always shining solitary in the firmament.
He felt his cheeks flush again. Kaiser had compared him to the Moon... the same Kaiser he had been in love with for years, had compared him to something he loved so much, the sky....
God, that night felt so perfect: the clear sky and the stars, being alone with Kaiser and being able to tell him what he thought about him... it felt like something magical out of a fairy tale or a dream...
Ah, was he dreaming? no, otherwise he wouldn't be able to feel the cold atmosphere and Kaiser's warm hand... so what he was experiencing was real.
He smiled again and lowered his gaze, watching the blond's back, just as he always did, but this time it felt different.
Even though he wasn't able to confess yet, knowing what Kaiser thought about him made him feel happy, so for the moment, his confession could wait.
He looked up at the sky again.
If only a shooting star would pass by so he could make a wish... if only he could wish to be with Kaiser forever.
He couldn't help but chuckle a little under his breath, Michael was right, he was like a child.
Alexis was so focused on his thoughts, that he didn't notice that Michael had also raised his face to observe the sky.
And well, the midfielder might be called 'the magician', but he didn't have the ability to read other people's minds and that was something the striker was grateful for, because if the other had found out that he wished for a shooting star to pass by and could make a wish, the truth was that he would have died of embarrassment.
Michael shifted his face and watched the playground that was already falling behind. At that moment, he still didn't feel ready but maybe someday he could step on that place again and as Ness had once told him, “if I could go back to the past, I would like to hug the child I had been and tell him that everything was okay”... maybe he should also do the same with the child Michael and heal the wounds of the past....
Kaiser shifted his gaze to look ahead.
He squeezed Alexis' hand and smiled.
Well, he still had plenty of time to decide what he would do, for the moment, he should go to the dorm, take a shower and go to bed, besides, Ness was going to take care of him so in the end, it hadn't been such a bad idea to have detoured and gone to the park.
He raised his blue eyes to the sky.
Ah, the moon looked really bright that night.