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they tried to warn you about me

Summary:

Regulus Black has a goal: defeat the Dark Lord. Nothing can get in the way, even the people he loves. Even if that means breaking their hearts.

Notes:

Fictober Day 12 is here! Nearly on time! (I finished it on time, but it was midnight and I had handwritten it on my Kindle, so I made y'all wait until this morning.)

I just want to preface this with - I'M SORRY EVERYONE THIS IS SO ANGSTY AND SAD AND I NEARLY CRIED WRITING IT

There's like one bittersweet moment and everything else is super depressing and sad so keep tissues close xxx

(Please make sure you see the MCD and canon compliant tags - there's no happy ending for our poor babies here.)

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

Brother

"Alright, thank you Barty. Regulus, please cast your Patronus," the professor requested.

 

"Of course, Professor," Regulus replied, " Expecto patronum ."

 

Silver white wisps emerged from his wand, and formed a small cat. Regulus supposed that made sense. He was uncomfortable with strangers, and he was fiercely protective of his friends. He was intelligent and sly, and he could melt into the shadows.

 

"Excellent as usual, Regulus. Emma, your turn."

 

Regulus sat down at his desk, next to Barty.

 

"So, what's your happy thought, Reg?" Barty asked.

 

"None of your business," Regulus replied curtly, "Just because we're friends doesn't mean you can know everything. Your brain cell will explode."

 

Barty wasn't fazed by the insult. He was used to Regulus saying things like that. "C'mon, Reg, I'm your best friend. Tell me, please? I wanna know."

 

"First of all, Dorcas is my best friend. Second of all, have you gone spontaneously deaf? I said no, Barty."

 

"Okay, well I'm your oldest friend then." 

 

"That would be Evan."

 

"Coolest friend?"

 

"Dorcas again."

 

"Cleverest?"

 

"Pandora."

 

"Least likely to judge you?"

 

“If you say so, sure. I'm getting bored of this back and forth anyway."

 

"So tell me what your Patronuss thought is."

 

"I'll tell you mine if you tell me yours," Regulus said. Barty's face whitened. "I didn't think so."

 

Barty's feelings for Evan were no secret to anyone with functioning eyes, yet somehow Evan still hadn't noticed. To tell the truth, Barty had barely realised.

 

Regulus didn't want anyone to know his Patronus thought. It was embarrassing, and would tarnish his reputation as the stoic, cold Black son.

 

He could've just lied and said he thought about his friends, or winning a Quidditch game in record time, but it felt wrong to lie about this.

 

Still, he couldn't tell anyone that his happy thought was his brother.

 

The summer before Sirius left for Hogwarts, before he was sorted into Gryffindor, before their family had imploded, Regulus and Sirius had snuck out of the house.

 

"Sirius, Mother and Father will be angry, we shouldn't go out," Regulus insisted.

 

"Come on, Reggie, it'll be fun! I saw an albatross by the lake the other day, I want to show you. And we can swim! I know you love swimming, Reggie," Sirius begged.

 

"Okay, fine, we can go. But we can't tell Mother or Father, they'll be disappointed."  

 

That day, Sirius and Regulus spent hours at the lake. They had managed to catch a glimpse of the majestic albatross, but it flew away when the brothers traipsed into its home.

 

They swam for a long time, like they were overcompensating for Sirius leaving for school.

 

Despite Sirius' promises, Mother and Father had been angry. Mother had berated them, and father forced them to forgo meals for three days. But it had been worth it for a day of fun, of simple, untarnished happiness.

 

They hadn't known it yet, but Regulus knew it now: His last happy memory with his brother was of swimming, but he was drowning now without him.

 

Stranger

"This meal is lovely, Mother," Regulus lied through his teeth. It tasted like watery ash, but his mother was a very proud woman.

 

"Thank you, Regulus," said Walburga,"but you have barely touched your spinach. Oh, and Sirius, we have something important to discuss with you."

 

"What is it?" Sirius asked glumly. He always hated family dinners, and it always made Mother mad.

 

"It's time you step up and fulfil your duty, Sirius," began Orion, "You are the heir to the most ancient and noble House of Black. All of the other big families' heirs have stepped up to provide their service. It is time you follow suit."

 

"Service to who?" Sirius asked. Regulus could see a suspicious look in his eyes.

 

Sirius may not know for sure, but there was only one person that their family would consider themselves subordinates of. And Regulus knew that Sirius would never accept that.

 

"You must swear fealty to the Dark Lord, Sirius. Before you return to Hogwarts would be preferable," Walburga elaborated.

 

"No."

 

"You must."

 

Sirius stood up and slammed his hands on the table, causing the plates to chatter. “Fuck that! And fuck you, too. I will never join your precious Dark Lord. I would rather die," he spat.

 

Walburga and Orion exchanged a contemptuous glance.

 

"Perhaps," said Orion," we must teach you a lesson about respecting your parents, and following their orders. The Black hair must fulfil his duties. Crucio !"

 

Sirius fell to the floor, screaming and writhing in pain. Regulus fought to keep his expression neutral as his brother was disciplined.

 

Orion stopped the curse. "Now will you comply?"

 

Sirius gritted his teeth and forced himself to stand up. Regulus could see how much pain he was in, and yet, he still stood.

 

Fucking reckless Gryffindor. Idiot.

 

"I will never join the Dark Lord."

 

That was the night Sirius left. The night he nearly died. The night Regulus lost all hope for a positive relationship with his brother. The night Regulus became the heir.

 

It was the night Regulus came up with the most important plan of his life. It had only one part.

 

Kill the Dark Lord.

 

Lover

Regulus sat in the Room of Requirement and waited. James was meant to be there half an hour ago, and Regulus was getting impatient.

 

Finally, the door burst open and Reg's mess of a boyfriend tumbled into the room.

 

"You're late," Regulus said simply.

 

"I'm so sorry, Reg, Quidditch ran late and then Sirius just kept talking to me and-"

 

"I didn't say you had to apologise, idiot. You're late, so make it up to me . '

 

James eagerly stepped forward and put his hands on either side of Regulus' face. Regulus stared into James' warm, kind eyes.

 

"Can I kiss you?" James asked.

 

"Yes, you idiot," replied Regulus, already pulling him in and pressing their lips together.

 

It was still surreal, even a month into their relationship, that Regulus had a boyfriend at all, let alone James Potter.

 

He deepened the kiss and pulled James to the bed.

 

"Do you want to-"

 

"Yes," Regulus said.

 

James looked admiringly at Regulus. "Fuck, Reg, you're so gorgeous. I must be the luckiest person in the world to be with you, love."

 

Regulus flushed and kissed him again.

 

You won't think that come May. You'll hate me then. Probably hate yourself for a bit too. But you'll get over it, mon soleil . You're not like me. You're strong. But we'll always have the memories.

 

They had a rather enjoyable night together (no, you don't get to hear the details. Those are for Regulus and James' ears only.) before going back to their dorms for the rest of the night.

 

The next morning, Regulus walked into Defence Against the Dark Arts.

 

"Good morning class, today we're going to have a refresher on Patronus charms. It's been a few weeks since we last practised, and consistency is key. You may practise in groups of your choice."

 

Regulus went into a group with Barty and Evan, and cast his Patronus. Well, tried to cast it. 

 

His memory of swimming with Sirius wasn't strong enough for the charm anymore.

 

Regulus was stunned. He knew his relationship with Sirius was destroyed rather than fought at this point, but he hadn't expected this to happen. Memories were supposed to stay untarnished, they were meant to be a beacon into the past. Had the present ruined the past for him?

 

He tried another memory. Dorcas' birthday. Regulus and all of his friends had stayed in the dorm all evening, and Dorcas had told them she had a girlfriend (McKinnon, a friend of James’ who was on the Gryffindor Quidditch team), and Barty realised he liked Evan (although Evan was still oblivious). Pandora had made them all bracelets, and none of them had taken them off since.

 

" Expecto patronum ", Regulus repeated.

 

Still, nothing happened. What was wrong? Why couldn't he cast his Patronus?

 

He had one more option.

 

Regulus thought of James. He thought of how he spoke with his whole body when he was excited. He thought of how fiercely he loved everyone around him. He thought of how James asked every time if he could kiss Regulus because he knew Regulus didn't always like to be touched. He thought of the person who had become bigger than the whole sky in Regulus' mind.

 

" Expecto patronum ."

 

The telltale silvery white wisps of the Patronus appeared, and yet, unlike past lessons where the wisps formed a cat, this time they just vanished.

 

"Reg, are you okay?" asked Evan.

 

"I'm fine. I've just been studying a lot, I'm tired," Reg lied.

 

"You sure?" Barty asked, "I mean, you did your OWLs flawlessly on 2 hours of sleep every night."

 

"I said I'm fine, Barty," Regulus snapped insistently.

 

But he wasn't fine, he knew he wasn't. He was working himself so hard, what with schoolwork, his scheme to take down Voldemort, and keeping his relationship secret, and that stress was just adding to the pain of having to betray everyone-

 

Wait. That was it. That was why his Patronus wouldn't work. He was happy, sure, but the cost of that happiness was breaking the hearts of everyone he loved.

 

It was a cost that wore on him constantly. A cost that could end up breaking him.

 

He wouldn't let it. Regulus would not allow his feelings to get in the way of his mission.

 

He would kill Voldemort if it was the last thing he did. Happiness be damned.

 

Villain

Just like many months ago, James and Regulus were meant to meet up in the Room of Requirement, but this time, it was Regulus who was late.

 

He had been procrastinating leaving his dorm all evening, not wanting to go and do what had to be done.

 

Regulus could feel the Dark Mark burning into his skin. His birthday had been spent in his room, alternating between passing out and total agony.

 

"Kreacher has come to see if Master Regulus requires anything."

 

"Murtlap. Murtlap essence, Kreacher, please," Regulus croaked.

 

His arm was on fire, his eyes sore from the tears, and his heart was aching.

 

Regulus arrived at the seventh floor corridor that housed the Room of Requirement. He took a deep breath. He had to do this, he knew he did, but that didn't stop it from hurting like a bitch.

 

Stop stalling and get on with it. You're a Black, you shouldn't be scared of hurting someone's feelings.

 

Regulus opened the door and stepped inside. When he stepped in, he couldn't help but look at James ' face with his pure, unadulterated love and joy.

 

He would never see James happy again after tonight.

 

"Reggie, hi," James greeted, "How was your break, love?"

 

"Busy."

 

James walked over to Regulus and wrapped his arms around his waist.

 

"I missed you."

 

Regulus couldn't look at him, couldn't bear to see how hopeful and happy he was. He couldn't bear to see the heart he was about to break.

 

"I can't do this anymore," Regulus said.

 

"What do you mean, do what, love?" James asked cluelessly.

 

"Look, over the holidays, I've had time to think. I think we need to break up."

 

James stepped back. "What?"

 

"My priorities have changed. I thought I could do... this , but it's just too much. I have other things to think about."

 

"Well, if it's school you're worried about, I can help you study," James said, "or we can meet up less often or something."

 

"It's not school that's important to me. I have a duty to my family as the heir. I hadn't stepped up before the holidays, but the time came."

 

"Reg, please tell me it's not what I think you mean," James pleaded.

 

Regulus avoided making eye contact, and turned away. He unbuttoned his sleeve.

 

"It was always going to end like this, James, we both knew that. It's why you didn't tell anyone about us," Regulus said as he pulled his sleeve up and faced James, "You didn't want to be the boy who fell in love with a Death Eater."

 

"No, Reggie, you can't have joined them, you can't!" cried James.

 

"Well, I have joined them. It doesn't really matter what you think about it. It's happened."

 

"But I love you, Regulus, I love you . You didn't have to join them, you could've come with me. You said you loved me," James shouted, his voice filled with anguish.

 

"You're right, I didn't have to join them. I wanted to. They give me the power I have yearned for, power greater than anyone else could ever give me," Regulus said coldly, "As for love, well, do you really think that someone like me would love someone like you? The powerful pureblood Slytherin, and a blood traitor Gryffindor?"

 

Yes. I did, and I do, and I'm sorry. I wish it could be different, mon soleil . I wish I didn't have to hurt you, I wish we could have a life together.

 

James pleaded, "Reg, it's not too late, please, you can still leave. You can come live with me, my parents will take you in. They did it for Sirius-”

 

Regulus looked James in the eye. He was crying, tears falling freely, but Regulus had to focus. If James was going to survive this war, Regulus had to break his heart.

 

"Stop. Whatever you thought we had between us, it's over. I'm a Death Eater now, James. This thing was always a temporary arrangement, and we've reached the end date. Goodbye, Potter. Have fun fighting a losing battle," Regulus snarled.

 

He stormed out of the Room of Requirement, and didn't stop until he reached his dorm. He spelled his curtains shut and cast a silencing charm.

 

Alone at last, he let the tears fall. He had broken James' heart but James would heal. He was the resilient one, and he had his friends.

 

Regulus would never heal. He hadn't only broken his own heart, he had ripped out his soul and beaten it to death. He would never go back to how he used to be.

 

He didn't fall asleep for hours, and when he finally did, he was plagued with nightmares. He couldn't get James' tear-stained face out of his mind. He hadn't just been upset, he'd been broken. It had to be done, but that didn't make it hurt any less.

 

Regulus skipped breakfast hoping for a break from his guilt, but he was out of luck. Dorcas came storming into his dorm room, a furious expression on her face.

 

"Dorcas-"

 

"No," she yelled, "you don't get to speak right now. I've known for weeks that you were going out with James Potter, but I didn't push you to tell me because I figured you just needed time. But tell me this, Regulus, because I can't figure it out for the life of me: what did they promise you? Power? Money? Because I can't think of anything the Death Eaters could give you that is better than a future with James, with your brother, with- with me."

 

"None of this was about you, Dorcas, and it certainly wasn't about Sirius or James," Regulus lied.

 

Dorcas scoffed with contempt. "If it wasn't about James or Sirius, why were they crying so much this morning that they couldn't even leave their dorm?"

 

"Because they're fragile and sensitive."

 

Dorcas' eyes flashed with anger, and she swung her fist at Regulus' face, catching him off guard.

 

Fuck, that hurts like a bitch. Nice punch, Dorcas.

 

"Fuck you, Regulus. You have so many people who care about you - well, cared now, I guess - and you threw that all away to play mummy's boy. I hope for your sake that I don't see you during this war, because I won't go easy on you."

 

"You're fighting for Dumbledore?" Regulus asked.

 

"I'm fighting for rights for the people who deserve it. That is to say: not you, you bigot son of a bitch," Dorcas growled, "I don't want to see that disgusting Dark Mark, so I guess there's only one thing left to say: stay the fuck away from me and my friends, you piece of shit. Or I'll make you regret it."

 

She slammed the door on her way out, and Regulus was alone once more, just like he'd wanted to be, only now it was a vicious loneliness. His loneliness had teeth and claws, and it wasn't going to let go.

 

Regulus settled on his bed and tried to sleep once more, despite the early hour, but was interrupted by the door opening again and someone coming in.

 

"I'm not in the mood for you, Barty, piss off," he grumbled.

 

"Well, it's good that I'm not Barty, then," said an ethereal, singsongy voice.

 

Regulus sat up. "Pandora, why are you here?"

 

"I wanted to see you, silly. Can't I visit my friend if I want to?"

 

"Well, yes, but I thought you'd hate me now. I figured the whole school would have heard. My brother isn't exactly subtle."

"Oh, Reggie, don't worry, I know why you did it. Perks of being a Seer. I know you have good intentions."

 

Regulus crumbled with relief. "You do?"

 

Pandora beamed. "Of course. I know you, Regulus, I know you wouldn't do this if you didn't have to. I can't be around you anymore, though. My gift is rare, and if it fell into the wrong hands it could cause catastrophe. I'm going to finish studying at Hogwarts and then go into hiding. We'll never see each other again."

 

"We will if I end the war. Pandora, I'm going to try, and I think I can do it. I think I can end the war."

 

Pandora's smile dulled, and her eyes filled with glistening tears. "Of course. We'll reunite after the war," she lied unconvincingly.

 

"I'm sorry, Pandora. I really am. I want it to be different, but this is how it has to be. I have to try, for Dorcas 'sake, for Sirius' sake, for James 'sake, and for your sake. I have to try," Regulus insisted.

 

"I want to help," said Pandora, "I may not be able to communicate with you later on, but I can give you something now. Something that will help you when you most need it."

 

"What is it?" Regulus frowned.

 

"A line of a prophecy I had. It will help you, but you can't read it until the time is right. You'll know when, you'll feel it. At that moment, it will be the only thing you need, and you'll think of it for... for your whole life," Pandora said, holding back her tears. She handed him a note, and he knew that this prophecy would be the most important thing he would ever know.

 

Regulus felt something slide down his cheek and was surprised to find that he was crying. He never usually cried in front of people, but Pandora was really the only person he had left who understood him. She was the first friend he had chosen for himself, and she was the last true friend he would ever have.

 

"I suppose this is goodbye," Regulus croaked.

 

"I'll always remember you, Regulus,” Pandora vowed, “And if I have children someday, I will tell them the story of the bravest person I ever knew, and they'll remember you too. You'll never be forgotten."

 

"I'll remember you until I draw my last breath and beat my last heartbeat. Goodbye, Pandora."

 

Pandora left, and he was alone again.

 

Regulus knew now that this war was going to kill him, the way Pandora had acted confirmed that for him, but his death had a purpose.

 

His death would stop Voldemort. Maybe not straight away, maybe not for years to come, but Regulus knew, deep in his bones: he would be the catalyst for the fall of the Dark Lord.

 

Follower

"My Lord, the Prewetts have been dealt with. We killed them on our latest mission to intercept the Order's healing supplies."

 

"Thank you, Rodolphus. You may sit. You all have your instructions, so leave. Details of the next meeting will be distributed within a few days."

 

Regulus stood up, glad that the monotonous meeting had ended. The second he vacated his seat, Lord Voldemort called out to him.

 

 Regulus, come here. I have another task for you."

 

"Of course, my Lord, I am at your service."

 

"I require a house elf to do something for me. Have yours ready for me at eight o'clock tomorrow night. It is possible he will not return to you," Voldemort ordered.

 

"Of course, my Lord. Kreacher will do whatever you require of him," replied Regulus, feigning submission.

 

Lucius reentered the room, walking over to Voldemort as Regulus walked away. In the mirror, he caught a glimpse of the Dark Lord handing something to Lucius. It looked like a book or diary, but he couldn't make out any details.

 

The next day, Regulus gave Kneacher his orders.

 

"Kreacher, the Dark Lord requires your service tonight. I don't know what for, but you will do as he asks. Then, you will return here. That is an order, Kreacher, you will come back, okay?"

 

"Kreacher will always do as Master Regulus asks," Kreacher replied meekly, "Master Regulus is a good master. Kreacher will help the Dark Lord and then he will return to the master."

 

At eight o’clock, Voldemort came to retrieve Kreacher, and apparated away. Regulus tried to be patient as he waited for Kreacher to come back, but he was artsy. He paced and squirmed, until finally, Kreacher returned.

 

He was dripping wet and freezing, and seemed to be in a great deal of pain, though he had no visible injuries.

 

Regulus helped Kreacher get dry and warm, despite the elf's insistence that "the master should not help Kreacher". The pain stopped soon enough, which meant it was probably magically induced.

Once Kreacher was calmer, Regulus could wait no longer for answers.

 

"Kreacher, you need to tell me what happened. Where did the Dark Lord take you, what did he do?"

 

"The Dark Lord took Kreacher to a terrible cave. He brought Kreacher on a boat to a small island in a lake. There was a potion... a terrible potion... The Dark Lord made Kreacher drink the potion. Kreacher was in pain but Kreacher drank it all because Master Regulus said to do as the Dark Lord wished. The Dark Lord placed a locket into the basin. Kreacher could hear the locket whispering awful things, but Kreacher was too thirsty. Kreacher drank from the lake but was pulled under. The Dark Lord left, and Master Regulus had ordered Kreacher to return, so Kreacher apparated away."

 

"All of that protection for a locket? Why?" Regulus pondered aloud," It must be important, but what makes it so important?"

 

He thought for a moment, then something clicked in his mind.

 

"Wait, Kreacher, you said the locket was whispering to you? It hadn't just been animated, had it?"

 

"No, Master. Kreacher does not know what magic it was, but it was darker than anything Kreacher has seen. It told Kreacher bad things, but Kreacher knew they were lies."

 

It can't be. He wouldn't have dared make that... right?  

 

Regulus sprinted to the study, knowing his parents were out, and not worrying about being quiet. He instantly found the book he needed.

 

Regulus thumbed through the pages of Secrets of the Darkest Arts until he found the page he needed.

 

Horcruxes.

 

Shit. He did.  

 

Voldemort wasn't just strong - he was immortal. That locket was a horcrux and as long as it existed, Voldemort couldn't die. The war would be won by the Death Eaters.

 

Unless Regulus destroyed the locket.

 

The book didn't explain how to destroy horcruxes, only that the container for the soul had to be damaged beyond repair.

 

Well, that was an issue, but not insurmountable. Regulus was a potion brewer, he thrived on experimentation and trial and error.

 

He wrote two notes that night. One to gloat to the Dark Lord that Regulus had discovered his secret, because Regulus was a petty bitch. The other was a note that would probably never reach its destination.

 

It started with "Dear Sirius” and ended with “I'm sorry.”

 

Victim

Kreacher was right. The cave was a terrible place. Firstly, it was damp and had a horrid smell, which Regulus loathed. Secondly, the aura of dark magic was so thick he was choking on it.

 

Regulus had to admit, Voldemort's protections for his horrors were pretty top notch. The blood sacrifice was a little melodramatic and cliche, the boat was just obvious, but the potion was a real masterpiece. Regulus could tell after just one mouthful that he was in for a rough time.

 

It was agony. The potion was burning hot and freezing cold simultaneously. It was fear and loathing and worthlessness incarnate. It brought out Regulus 'guilt, his terror, his insecurity. And that was just from one mouthful.

 

"Kreacher, this potion is going to mess with my mind. Once I finish drinking it, I need you to switch the real locket for this fake one. Then, I need you to take the real locket back to Grimmauld Place and destroy it. You will try everything to destroy the locket, do you hear me, Kreacher?"

 

"What about Master Regulus?" Kreacher asked.

 

"I'm not making it out of this cave alive, Kreacher, and if I do, I won't survive for long. I'm counting on you to do what needs to be done, Kreacher. You have your orders."

 

Regulus wasn't sure how he knew, but he was certain that he was dying today.

 

He was about to start drinking again when he remembered Pandora's prophecy. The note hadn't left his pockets since she had first given it to him, almost a year ago, and he knew, deep in his bones, that the time had come to read it at last.

 

It wasn't a particularly long prophecy, only a couple of sentences long.

 

Look to the sun and you will not die alone. The light of your soul will guide you.

 

The wording was annoyingly ambiguous, but Regulus knew what it meant. He hadn't tried to cast it since his sixth year, he hadn't thought he ever would again, but he knew now that it would appear.

 

" Expecto patronum ," Regulus enunciated.

 

The silvery white wisps appeared as they had before, but they didn't form a cat this time.

 

Before him was a large, silver stag. 

 

Oh.  

 

Patronuses never changed, Regulus knew that. Except for specific cases.

 

Specifically, cases where someone had fallen so deeply in love with someone that they had become a fundamental part of their soul.

 

James was marrying Evans, Regulus had seen it in the Daily Prophet, and he probably hated Regulus anyway, but it was nice to think that some part of James was with Regulus, helping him through the last night of his life.

 

Imbued with a new sense of courage and confidence, Regulus began to drink the potion again.

 

If the first mouthful had been agony, the second was off the charts. It was the same as the first but worse, so much worse, and it caused hallucinations.

 

As Regulus drank the potion, it made him see a lot of people. Sirius, James, Dorcas, Pandora, his parents. They were all there, and they all thought that he was worthless.

 

"Waste of space."

"Death Eater scum."

"Traitor."

"Disgusting."

"Murderer."

"Liar."

"Worthless"

"Worthless."

"Worthless."

 

With every new insult spat at him, Regulus felt himself weakening. He begged for a release from his pain and turmoil, but found none. Only Kreacher was with him, and the stag, and there was no release to be found.

 

Finally, all of the potion was gone. He had done it, he had found the locket. He was still alive. Why wasn't he dead yet?

 

"Kreacher," Regulus croaked, "Swap lockets."

 

Kreacher took the replacement locket from Regulus, the one containing his note to the Dark Lord, and placed it in the basin, removing the horcrux at the same time.

 

"Leave. Destroy it," Regulus ordered.

 

"But Master-"

 

"Go!" he yelled, the sound echoing around the cave.

 

Kreacher apparated away, and Regulus was alone again.

 

No, no, he wasn't alone. He had the stag, and that meant that James was there, however real or fake it was.

 

"I miss you, mon soleil . I wish I could see you. I wish you were still mine."

 

Regulus' throat began to burn with thirst. He crawled to the edge of the lake and took a sip of water. His hands left ripples in the water, and Regulus heard something moving in the water. 

 

No, not something, somethings .

 

"Did you hear that, James?"

 

Get out right now.  

 

Regulus tried to apparate out of the cave, but he couldn't. There was some force stopping him. He tried again, to no avail.

 

Bloody bastard put an anti-apparition field.  

 

Fuck. How was he going to get out? Whatever was in the water would reach him before he made it across in the boat, and he couldn't apparate. He sure as hell couldn't swim back.

 

Regulus was going to die.

 

He'd been certain of it just a few minutes ago, but it still felt like a shock. He was only 18 years old, he didn't want to die.

 

Regulus wanted to finish his NEWTS. He wanted to see Pandora again. He wanted to apologise to Dorcas. He wanted to make amends with Sirius. He wanted to

grow old with James.

 

Regulus wanted to live, and he would never get the chance.

 

Well, he may never speak to Dorcas, Sirius, or James ever again, but he sure as hell could send Pandora one last message. He didn't have much time, only a few seconds until the creatures in the water surfaced, so he had to be quick.

 

"Pandora, I'm sorry. I thought of the sun, and I saw the light, but it's going to guide you, not me. Be happy. Live a good life. The life I never got to live. Because it's the life you deserve."

 

The stag heard him. It knew what to do-it was a part of his soul, so how could it not? It left, on its way to deliver Regulus’ final words to the one person left in the world who truly knew him.

 

Regulus felt a slimy hand grab his ankle, and he looked down.

 

Before his eyes was a corpse. Inferni. A sick, disgusting piece of magic. Voldemort's victims had become his defence against death.

 

More inferni were emerging from the murky depths of the lake, and they were all coming for Regulus.

 

He was scared, but he was no coward. He would face his death head on. He would not back down.

 

Regulus was pulled under the surface, and halfway across the country, Pandora cried for the life that should've been.


Eighteen years later, longer than Regulus had lived, a boy found a note, and read the last remnants of Regulus Black’s memory.

 

In the end, Pandora hadn’t lived long enough to tell her daughter about her brave best friend who had sacrificed his life to make the world better and avenge his brother’s pain. Regulus was remembered as he lived - a total mystery.

Notes:

so... how are we feeling?

pandora always believing in reg <3 the prophecy <3 the patronus message <3

poor reg had to break james' heart to save his life, and he dies anyway eventually :'(

im sorry this was so angsty and upsetting but i really love it so thats ok xx

also it destroys me that in canon reg died before he turned 18 (according to the fandom wiki it was 10 days before his birthday but idk how much that can be trusted)

pandora promising to tell her future children about regulus and then dying when luna's 9 so she never got the chance to tell the whole story :(((((((( why do i do this to myself

see yall in the comments! let me know what you think!

(hopefully see you on the 16th with a wolfstar mid-war oneshot, also angsty but more bittersweet. i will also try really hard to have my sweet fluffy jegulus date o/s ready by the 18th to try and heal your broken hearts xxx)