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“There you are, Yakkun. I’ve been looking all over the place for you. Lev said you just disappeared after receiving practice.”
“Just needed some space, that’s all,” Yaku replies without looking up and starts fidgeting with his knee pads, his voice sounding duller than usual.
It’s getting dark, the sun setting behind the tall trees and night crawling over the hills. The air is filled with the soft hum of cicadas and chatty voices in the distance.
“Can I sit with you for a moment?”
Yaku shrugs nonchalantly. “Sure.”
Kuroo sits down next to him on the soft grass, their legs bumping into each other as he does. Being this close to Yaku, their bodies only inches apart, makes Kuroo’s heart flutter with boyish nervousness. He has had a crush on his teammate for two years now. Deep down he knows that his feelings will likely never be reciprocated but no matter how hard he tries to move on and fall for someone else, he can’t help but keep yearning for his friend from afar.
“Do you want to talk about it?” Kuroo offers after a moment of silence, plucking a blade of grass and playing with it to keep his hands busy.
“Talk about what?” Yaku pushes his chin forward but Kuroo doesn’t miss how his lower lip trembles.
He drops the blade of grass and runs his hand through his hair with a sigh instead. “Do you always have to be this difficult, Yakkun?”
“I’m not being difficult. You’re just being annoying.”
Kuroo throws his head back with a laugh before turning to face his friend. “You’re a pretty bad liar, do you know that?”
Yaku pouts, crossing his arms over his chest defensively, and looks away. “So far I haven’t gotten any complaints, thank you very much.”
“Come on, talk to me. I’m not here to talk to you as your captain, I’m here as a friend.” Kuroo gently nudges Yaku with his knee, lingering for a second too long before pulling away embarrassed.
“It’s nothing,” Yaku mumbles, wrapping his arms around his legs and resting his chin on his knees. He looks smaller like this, fragile even. Kuroo knows from experience that Yaku is everything but.
“You don’t look like it’s nothing,” Kuroo says softly. “You don’t have to talk to me if you really don’t want to but it might help, you know?”
Yaku nods, biting his lip. He’s still not looking at Kuroo but the tension in his shoulders lessens and Kuroo has to fight the urge to reach out and run his hand through Yaku’s hair. He has always wondered how it would feel. Is it just as soft as it looks?
“I think I’m bisexual.” A pause. “Actually. I know I’m bisexual.”
“What?” Kuroo stammers.
“I like boys too. Not just girls,” Yaku says, face flushed red. “I think I’ve known for a while but never felt brave enough to say it out loud. I’m sorry if it’s a bit out of the blue or makes you uncomfortable but—”
“You… you like boys?”
Yaku presses his lips into a fine line and nods sharply. “Yes, that’s sort of a prerequisite for being bisexual, I’d say.”
Kuroo wants to laugh at his own stupidity. He has spent countless nights wishing for Yaku to like him back but the possibility of him being into boys had never crossed his mind in earnest. It’s everything he has ever wanted to hear but at the same time, being into boys wouldn’t automatically mean that Yaku would ever consider him as anything but a friend.
“That’s cool. That you’re bi, I mean.” Kuroo wants to slap himself. Why does he have to be such a loser when it comes to Yaku? He has had crushes on a handful of boys and girls before but has never felt as out of his element as he does right now.
His friend snorts. “You’re weird.”
They sit in silence for a moment. With the sun fully gone now, the world around them is plunged into darkness with only the moon illuminating their surroundings. They should probably head back soon before the others get worried but Kuroo wants to make this moment last for as long as possible even if he keeps making a fool of himself.
“Can I tell you something too?”
“As if anything I say or do could ever make you shut up for more than five seconds,” Yaku says with a teasing smile that makes Kuroo’s heart skip a beat.
“If you ever want me to shut up, you should just kiss me,” he stammers, feeling flustered. It’s not what he was going to say originally but Yaku looking at him with such fondness made his brain short-circuit. Kuroo can feel his face grow hot.
“What?”
“Nothing.”
“You want me to… kiss you?”
Kuroo jumps to his feet like a startled cat. “I should… we should probably head back. It’s getting late and I’d rather not have them send a search team for us.” He scratches the back of his neck with an awkward chuckle and looks away. “We’d never hear the end of it. Especially not from Kai. Or even worse, from that darn Sawamura.”
But before he gets a chance to storm off and head back to the school building, Yaku is on his feet too and grabs him by the sleeve of his jacket. “Tetsurou, wait.”
And Kuroo does. He avoids looking at his friend but he stays. He will always stay if Yaku asks him to.
Yaku’s hand feels warm, and Kuroo wonders what it would be like if no fabric separated them, what it would be like to feel Yaku’s hand on his skin. Are Yaku’s hands soft or are they calloused from volleyball? He finds himself reaching for Yaku’s hand without meaning to, yearning to lace their fingers together but stops himself just in time. Instead, he stuffs his hand in the pocket of his shorts.
Yaku steps closer, their bodies only inches apart now. “Come on, look at me,” Yaku says softly, gently tugging on Kuroo’s sleeve.
And once again, Kuroo does as Yaku asks. Maybe he should fight Yaku more on this, maybe he should have just walked away but he can’t bring himself to move, can’t bring himself to leave. Not when it’s Yaku, not when Yaku is being so soft to him.
Yaku is smiling at him with those pretty lips and beautiful round eyes, freckles strewn across his cheeks like stars. Kuroo wants to kiss them all. At this very moment, Yaku looks nothing short of beautiful but Kuroo doesn’t find the courage to tell him that. He’d probably just end up making a fool of himself. Again.
“Do you want to know how I figured out that I’m bi?” Yaku asks, letting go of Kuroo’s jacket and instead lacing their fingers together.
“Yes.” Kuroo can barely hear himself speak over the sound of blood rushing through his ears. Yaku’s skin is soft and warm, and Kuroo subconsciously tugs the other boy closer. They’re close enough now that Kuroo thinks Yaku can hear the pounding of his heart and he finds that he doesn’t care.
“There’s this boy I like. He’s a total smart-ass and an idiot and always up to something. But above all else, he is my friend and one of the kindest people I know. He also looks really cute when he’s nervous.” Yaku chuckles, gently squeezing Kuroo’s hand. “He said I could kiss him to make him shut up and I really hope he meant it because I’ve been wanting to kiss him for a very long time.”
“You… you like me?”
Yaku rolls his eyes but fails to stop himself from grinning. “Just kiss me, you idiot.”
“So impatient,” Kuroo teases, the tension in his shoulders slowly melting away, and leans in, heart hammering in his chest. He has spent hours upon hours fantasising about this very moment and somehow it’s better than anything he could have ever imagined.
“You have no idea,” Yaku mumbles with a chuckle and uses his free hand to pull Kuroo all the way down by the collar of his shirt until their lips finally meet.