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It was known only as “the call.”
The call, that captivated the heart and mind of spouses everywhere when they sent their uniformed loved one out the door and into danger.
It was the last call anyone ever wanted, and often the last thing they ever expected to hear, even though they ticked through each second of their lives knowing the call could strike at any moment.
The call that would shatter a family, leaving them to gather broken pieces at the graveside to the tune of a twenty-one gun salute.
It was a call that Carlos had received not nearly long enough ago. When a doorbell was followed by a gunshot that stole his father’s life.
And it was a call he hoped never to get again.
He always expected to make the call. His job was dangerous, after all. At least, he expected to be the subject of the news.
He expected to receive one from TK.
“Hey babe."
His husband's voice was shaking, “Hey, baby…"
“TK?" Carlos frowned, sitting up straighter. “Is everything okay?"
“Um…” There was a pause. "No.”
Carlos’s entire body went rigid. What? Was he hurt? Where they in an accident? Was the train derailment more involved that they thought? He’d heard about the Chlorine gas leak on the news…Oh God…
“What's wrong? Are you okay? Do you need me to come-”
"Baby! Baby, listen…" He heard TK take a deep breath. “I don't have a lot of time. We're in a school, there was a patient and we couldn't… we couldn't get out.”
Carlos slipped outside to aboud disturbing the girls while they painted the Reverend's fingernails. His voice dips as he shifts into work mode. There's a switch that gets activated in his brain when he has to stay composed even as all he wants to do is rage at an abuser or lament the loss of a child.
“What do you mean you ‘couldn’t get out?’"
“Baby…. we're trapped in the chlorine gas cloud."
Carlos's entire reality tilted sharply to the left, causing him to lean on the banister for support. “What?"
“We- we stuffed out jackets under the door, put some, um, paper towels in the windows, but… it's coming. It's going to get in.”
Carlos couldn't breathe, couldn't see as his vision blurred, could feel anything but cold. "No… no, listen, TK. You have to find a way out- You have to-"
"We tried. But .. It's too late, baby. It's here. I can see it outside. I just… I wanted to hear your voice...”
The warmth of his tears was the only thing Carlos could feel. This couldn't be happening. There had to be a way. There had to be something they missed. Cold terror seized his heart in a vice, but there was something underneath it… dismay. How could TK be so calm about this? Had he…
“To tell you I love you…”
“Tyler….you can't give up. You c- you can't, you hear me?”
“Baby…” TK’s sniffle crackles over the line. "I need you to do something for me… "
Carlos wanted to refuse, to scream, to order him to find a way out. To remind him that they promised for ever. Til death, sure, but death wasn't to part them so soon. They had an entire life to live.
“Anything."
“When you tell my dad…" TK’s voice is trembling. He sniffs. “Tell him I wasn't scared."
Carlos’s chest contracts painfully, the air stolen from his lungs. His eyes burn as he rubs them until white spots appear behind his eyelids.
"Promise me you'll move on. That you'll live a long happy life.”
How could he promise that? How could a happy life exist without Tyler Kennedy Strand? Without him, even people who would never meet him would live lives a little less rich than they could've been.
"Promise me, Carlos. Promise me you won't drown in your depression." He gives a wet half-laugh. “I know how you are…”
"I promise,” Carlos lied, sobbing. "I love you so much, Tyler…"
“I…” TK takes a deep breath, as if he's bracing himself. "I love you, too, baby. I…"
The call dropped and so did Carlos’s heart. He looked at the phone in disbelief, shocked and betrayed.
“No! No no no no no…” He hit the call icon, the phone ringing.
"Hey, you've reached TK. Leave me a message!”
The line beeped and Carlos covered his mouth to stifle his sobs, having to wipe his eyes on his sleeve just to see the screen to try again.
"Hey, you've reached TK-”
Carlos wanted to throw the phone, to watch it shatter like his life.
He couldn't be gone. He COULDN'T.
It wasn't possible. Not TK. He couldn't be gone. The world was still turning, the sun was still shining. Those things couldn't happen without him.
They couldn't.
I'm the relative privacy of Tommy's back porch, Carlos broke.
He set his phone aside, curling in on himself as he poured his heart down his arms. He let his grief pool in his palms until it overflowed, running clear rivulets down his bronze skin.
He barely heard his phone ring over the sound of his sobs.
Nancy.
Fuck, not now…
It rang again and something told him to answer.
“Hello?" He hated how weak he sounded, voice cracking halfway through the word.
“Baby! The wind shifted!"
Carlos sobbed, “What?"
TK sniffled, a rustle of fabric against the phone before. “The cloud, it's moving away! We're okay!"
Carlos sobbed, mentally giving thanks. “Tyler…”
"Baby…"
What was TK going to say? What COULD he say? ‘Sorry I scared you’? ‘False alarm’? ‘That was a close one'?
“Come home. Just come home.”
TK sighs, "Yes. Yes, we're on our way back now. I'll be there soon."
Carlos wiped his eyes. "Tyler… I love you, but you… you scared the shit out of me…again...”
TK made a sound that was half-laugh, half-sob. “I'm sorry…”
"You have to spend the rest of your life making this up to me…”
TK laughs, sniffling, "Deal.”
It felt like an eternity before Tommy and TK pulled into the street.
The second the car turned off, Carlos was pulling TK out of the truck and into his arms.
TK went willingly, hugging Carlos too tight for him to breathe.
He didn't care.
He didn't need to breathe.
He had his husband in his arms and that was better than air.
No words were exchanged for a long moment as Carlo's eyes blurred with tears. He'd almost lost the most important person in his life. His heart. His everything.
“I'm here, baby…” TK whispered. “I'm here…”
Carlos hugged him tighter, roiling with emotion. He was so angry at TK for scaring him again, so anguished by the call when he thought he was about to die. Mostly, he was just relieved beyond words to have his husband in his arms again. He'd never experienced elation and such anguish in equal measure.
“I thought I lost you."
TK pulls back, cupping Carlos's face in his hands. “You didn't. I'm here. I'm not going anywhere."
“I love you. I love you so much."
His husband wiped away his tears, forest green eyes growing misty, “I love you too, baby."
Carlos sighed, Pulling him in again. “Don't ever scare me like that again. And charge your damn phone."
TK gave a choked laugh, "I know. I know. I'm sorry.”
Carlos sighed heavily, kissing that adorable smile off his husband's face.
His heart was cracked by the call, but the love of his life has come home to repair the damage.