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Finn wrapped his hands around the coffee mug, absorbing its warmth and mentally urging it to spread through his body as he watched the rain through the window. “I don’t care what Poe says about the importance of rain to the ecosystem, I forgot that the rain in December is just so cold. ”
Nebula (or Buli, as Finn liked to call her), the black cat sitting in the windowsill also contemplating the rain, flicked her tail in non-response. Finn knew she was still mad at him for being gone to school for the last three months. Finn smirked. She was probably also angry about not getting to spend the night draped over one of her humans, given Poe’s enthusiastic homecoming for Finn last night. Finn’s arms and thighs still burned a bit, a delicious feeling he was happy to carry through the day. The man certainly knew how to make up for lost time.
As if Finn’s thoughts had conjured him, he heard Poe approach him from behind. Poe wrapped his arms around Finn, pressing a kiss to the back of his neck. Finn allowed himself to lean into the embrace, sighing. He couldn’t even begin to list everything he loved about Poe, but the fact that they fit together perfectly was topping that list right now. Followed closely by the fact that Poe was basically a furnace by himself. “Sure you can’t stay home today and keep me warm?”
“I thought you were going to the library, anyway,” Poe replied. Finn grumbled and Poe chuckled. “Don’t worry, babe, you’ll get used to the rain just in time to go back to the drier weather in Davis.”
“We’ll see,” Finn said darkly. Poe slowly turned Finn around in his arms, locking gazes, and Finn couldn’t help but smile. His eyes twinkled with mirth as he teased Poe, “I hope you’re not planning on riding BB-8 today…”
“Considering how thorough you were last night, I think I’m ridden out.” They stayed in the embrace, Finn nuzzling through Poe’s curls and inhaling his scent deeply.
Finn was finally the one to break away, sliding his lips across Poe’s as he pulled back. “You’re right, I should go to the library, get some research done while I’m motivated. But tomorrow, you, me, Christmas shopping in Portland, good food?”
“It’s a date,” Poe agreed, grabbing Finn’s hand and pressing a kiss to his knuckles in the way that always made Finn’s heart flutter.
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The next day, Finn found Poe buried deep in the stacks of the sci-fi section of Powell’s, his own shopping completed. “Find anything exciting?”
Poe looked up and smiled at the sight of him, and then that was topping the List of Things to Love About Poe. Nothing boosted one’s self confidence like having a person perpetually happy to see them. “Not especially. What’d you get? Or is it a secret?”
Finn dug in his bag and held out a little clay beaver tchotchke holding a little sign proclaiming ‘Welcome to Oregon!’ “For Rey’s collection.” ‘Rey’s collection’ was entirely made up of the most horrible touristy crap Finn could find in Oregon, just to annoy his best friend. Rey had returned the favor, sending him the kitschiest things from New Mexico.
“Amazing, she’ll hate it.”
“I know!” Finn replied gleefully. He also knew that she kept every piece he got her, just like his own collection of dust gatherers lined his windowsill down at UC-Davis.
Poe turned away from the bookcase and held out a hand. “Lunch?”
Finn clasped his hand, and they started to wind their way out of the huge bookstore.
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“Can I do anything to help? Quiz you, or something?” Leia set a cup of tea next to Finn, who had spread out all of his materials for the Bar exam on her kitchen table.
Finn sneezed. Dammit, I better not be getting sick , Finn thought . “It’s not really that type of test. But thank you, for the tea, and letting me use your place. Buli won’t leave me alone, now that she’s forgiven me,” Finn replied.
“Don’t worry about it, sweetie. I’m just glad we have you back, for a little bit anyway.” Leia held her own mug of tea, lounging on the kitchen bench.
“One more semester, then it’s only the biggest test of my life, that will totally determine my success or failure as a human.”
Leia chuckled, which was not the response Finn had been expecting. She saw the surprise on his face. “Oh, Finn, when you get to be my age, you learn that there are very few singular events that can determine your success or failure. It’s all about the journey. And I can tell that you’re thinking ‘What a hippie’ right now. I’ve seen Ben make the same face.”
Finn gasped in horror. “Oh Leia, no, I didn’t mean to insult you, I hope you-”
“You didn’t, sweetie, believe me. You don't get to be a sixty-something year old hippie without growing a thick skin. Even in Oregon, there are too few of us originals left.”
“It's just that I feel like all of myself, or maybe all of the parts of myself that are just me, that are separate from Poe, are tied up in the result of this test. I can't even concentrate on the words of these practice problems.”
Leia hummed into her tea. “Have you ever tried meditation?” Finn shook his head. “When I have a problem, I find it extremely helpful. Here,” Leia said as she moved to sit across from Finn at the kitchen table. “Close your eyes. Good. Breathe in for four counts...one...two...three...four…”
Finn felt himself relaxing as Leia continued to lead him through the exercise. “Imagine that all of the worry, tension and stress about this exam is like black smoke inside of you. Breathe out for a count of three. Blow the smoke out of you, leaving only the light.” More breaths. “Now, open your eyes, and read your problem.”
Finn did, as Leia got up and walked out of the kitchen to no longer be a distraction. He immediately knew the process being asked for in the practice problem. As he started to write, he had the fleeting thought that meeting Leia was one more item for the List of Things to Love About Poe.
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“Poe!” Finn cried as the farmer did something incredible with his mouth. “Poe, I'm going to come. Oh god Poe, keep going baby, oh that sweet mouth of yours, oh Jesus, Poe!” Finn shuddered through his orgasm, aftershocks vibrating through him. Normally he would stay awake and snuggle, one of his favorite parts of sex, but his eyes seemed to close involuntarily.
Poe crawled back up his body, leaving sweet kisses and love bites along the way. Finn moaned, edging closer to sleep. “You're so good, baby,” he said, eyes still closed. He felt Poe settle in on his side, let out a deep sigh, and started being dragged into sleep. “Your mouth is definitely making the List.”
The last thing he heard before slipping off to dream was Poe's confused voice murmuring, “List?”
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Ever the thoughtful boyfriend, when Poe had to leave at the crack of dawn to work on farm things - “Yes, even in the winter, Finn.” - he never disturbed Finn’s sleep. But he must have been concerned when, several hours later, Finn was still covered from head to toe in blankets. Finn felt the bed move as Poe sat on the edge to check on him. “You doing okay, honey?”
Finn groaned and coughed. “Sick,” he mumbled. Why did he always get sick on breaks, when he could be relaxing and having fun? His body sucked at timing.
“Oh, pobrecito.” Poe placed a hand to his forehead to check his temperature. “Well you're a little hot, but not drag-you-to-the-doctor hot. Why don't I get you some orange juice.”
Finn mumbled nonsense in response. Poe brought him the juice, tissues, a farm walkie talkie, and his laptop. He sat on the bed again and stroked Finn’s hair. “Try to drink, baby, you need to stay hydrated. I have to run to Salem, but I texted Snap and Leia that you're sick. If you need anything, you can call them over the radio.”
Finn coughed again, but managed a weak smile up at Poe. “I love you.” He sat up a bit, took a few sips of the orange juice, just to make Poe happy.
“I love you, too. Get some rest.”
Poe leaned down to kiss Finn, but he protested, “No, I'll get you sick.”
Poe laughed a little. “Babe, I've spent the last few nights wrapped as tight around you as humanly possible, I think if I'm going to get it, I've been exposed.” He captured Finn’s mouth possessively. “I'll be back as soon as I can.”
As soon as Poe could turned out to be a few hours later. Finn was sitting up in bed, a pile of tissues by his side and several glasses and mugs of various liquids on the bedside table. He looked up from the laptop when Poe walked in with a tray.
“You look a little better, babe. Did you get some sleep?”
“Yes, but Leia has been here a ton of times pushing liquids on me.” He indicated the glasses and mugs.
“Well, I have a surprise,” Poe said as he maneuvered the tray legs to sit on the bed. “How about some soup?”
Finn wished he could smell the brown broth with vegetables and beef floating enticingly in it.
“Wait, Poe, did you go to Sam’s?” Sam’s was a pho place they'd discovered on a short day trip to the coast last summer. It was at least an hour away.
Well, that made #84 on The List, then: willing to drive long distances just to make me feel better.
Poe grinned at him. “Only the best when you're feeling bad. Dig in, it's extra spicy.”
“Just the way I like it.” Finn took a bite, and smiled in bliss. “You know, I know I'm always getting on you and Rey about babying me, but I have to admit that when I'm sick, I really don't mind.”
“Don't worry, tomorrow I'll make you chop wood with me so you can feel like an adult again,” Poe joked.
“After this soup, I just might be able to.”
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By the time Christmas morning came, Finn was feeling mostly better. He woke to an empty bed, and walked out to the living area to find Poe on the couch, teasing Buli with a new catnip mouse on a string. “Giving our daughter drugs?” Finn commented as he settled next to Poe and gave him a good morning kiss.
“She can quit any time.”
Finn snuggled in closer, so content. Poe loving Buli just as much as Finn did surely made The List.
Poe let Buli grab the mouse and drag it away, turning to wrap an arm around Finn and sigh contentedly. “I love you. Merry Christmas.”
“I love you. Do you want your present?” Poe nodded. Also making The List: that Poe was incredibly understanding about Finn’s grad student budget, and agreed to limit their presents to just one.
Finn handed him a wrapped package, and Poe happily tore it open. “Oh, Finn,” he sighed when he saw the contents. “I love it.” It was a framed photo of the two of them, dressed to the nines for the anniversary of their first meeting, taken last summer. Leia had insisted on taking pictures like it was prom, so proud of her boys.
“I thought it could go with the one of you and your parents.”
“Absolutely.” Poe left the couch to place it on the side table by his only other picture. He paused, kissing his fingers and touching first his mother’s young face, then his father's. It was a ritual Finn has seen him complete many times, but each time it broke Finn’s heart a little, all over again.
Poe turned back, seeming to banish the sentimentality with a quick grin. “Ready for your present?”
Finn rubbed his hands together. “Yes, please!” Poe handed him an envelope. Finn carefully broke open the seal, slipping out a piece of paper. He quickly read, then looked up. “Poe.”
Poe grinned wider. “You like it?”
“Poe,” Finn said again. “Spanish lessons with Elisa over Skype? I fucking love it.” Finn had picked up a few words here and there from Poe and the other farm hands, but the first time Poe tried to teach him anything conversational, they had both learned that Finn turned into Gomez from the Addams Family. Poe speaking Spanish was Finn’s kryptonite. All the lessons had ended with two very satisfied men and no language learned. But, Finn wanted to be able to speak to clients without a translator, and this would be a good first step. It was a truly thoughtful gift that spoke to Poe’s absolute confidence in Finn passing the Bar exam.
He was so happy he blurted out, “Okay, this is going straight to the top of The List.”
Poe’s eyes sharpened. “What is this list you keep bringing up?”
Finn reddened. “Uh…” He tried to gather his thoughts but it all came spilling out in what Poe liked to call “that cute excited outburst thing Finn does.”
“Well I have this list, well it's not a real list, more like a mental list, of Things to Love About Poe. I don't know, I was just thinking about it last week and then all of a sudden it became a like a real list with capital letters and everything. The way you smile every time you see me and how we're the perfect height for each other and how I met every one here because of you and-”
“Marry me,” Poe interrupted.
“I--what?”
“Marry me.” Poe looked a little surprised at himself for saying it, but he kept going. “Shit, I was going to do a thing, take you out, make it special, on New Year’s Eve. But you used my greatest weakness against me: you being too fucking cute.” Poe laid his forehead against Finn’s. “Marry me, because I have a list probably twice as long as yours of Reasons Why I Love Finn.”
Finn looked intently into Poe’s eyes. “Yes. A yes for every item on my list.” Finn’s eyes brightened. “But I still want the New Year’s proposal. Do the special thing, please.” Poe laughed. “Hey, at least you're guaranteed to know the outcome will be favorable.”
“Thank god. It does take a lot of pressure off of me.”
And then they were kissing sweetly, which quickly led to more. They were stripping off their pajamas before they even got back to the bedroom.