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The first thing she feels is cold.
She doesn’t usually feel cold. Not with Mr. Tail and his flames.
They didn’t burn her, thankfully, but they often gave off a sort of warmth. They reminded her of the flicker she helped save back when they first met. Back when she was just a little kit.
It was bright, glowing, but fading so fast. She couldn’t help but feel bad for the poor flame, like a life snuffed out too fast.
If you asked her about it now, she’d lament about how she should’ve snuffed that flame out herself. After all, Tail had done nothing but worsen the problems in her life. Her classmates already disliked her enough, but now they would laugh and murmur about her in the halls. Her ears would often catch them calling her the ‘cursed one’. (Huohuo couldn’t find it in herself to disagree.)
Wherever she went people would stare at her until Mr. Tail would yell at them. Huohuo was only terrified it would break out into a fight, that it would cement further that she was an outsider. That she didn’t belong.That she didn’t deserve to be loved like them. She just wanted it all to stop. To stop looking at her. To stop talking about her. She wanted so badly to be the flame snuffed out. Forgotten, silent, and alone. Why did she have to keep on burning?
So when she couldn’t shut her ears from her classmates’ noise anymore she agreed. She tore off her talisman. She let him silence those kids. She just wanted it so badly to stop. Why couldn’t they stop?
₊ ₊ ₊ ₊ ₊ ₊
The moment she woke up, she felt cold. Very cold.
She was on the floor of her classroom, alone. In the dim light of the moon, she could tell that everyone had left. It was just her and Tail now. Her parents… did they come for her? Were they worried?
She wandered her way back to her home, feet quietly shuffling to the door. She didn’t want to bother them. They had already tolerated her for long enough now, letting her stay even with Mr. Tail attached to her. Even with all the stares and whispers from the townsfolk that lingered everywhere she went. The last thing she wanted was to inconvenience them any further. She pulled out her spare key and stuffed it into the lock, but it wouldn’t budge. Was the lock changed? She tried again. She felt her heartbeat quicken. Was this the wrong house? She tried again. It couldn’t be, right? She had already checked three times! She tried again. The key broke. What was going on? She felt hot tears starting to sting her eyes.
“What’s the matter? Too afraid to just knock on the door?” Tail barked out a laugh, flames ablaze wildly behind him.
“Shhhh!! Be quiet, Tail!! You’ll wake them!”
He rolled his eyes. “Oh, like they’ve ever been this considerate around you! I’ve never seen them apologize for waking you up early. And then they complain when you accidentally burn the breakfast! Ungrateful idiots! I swear, sometimes it’s like they keep you around so you can do most of the errands around the house.” His words had a sharp edge to them.
She blinked at him, processing what he said. “T-That’s not true…” though she couldn’t quite muster up a solid defense against his argument.
He huffed and rolled his eyes, but stayed silent.
She quickly returned to her task again and, with a quick inhale, she quietly knocked on the door. Nothing.
“You have to knock louder, idiot.” Huohuo winced at his words.
And so she tried again. Nothing.
“LOUDER!” Tail yelled, which Huohuo was certain her family could hear by now.
And so she tried again. Nothing.
Right as she was going to knock a fourth time, she noticed something weird about the lock. The markings on the lock looked almost completely different from the one they usually had. It was lacking its ornate details which her home was known for. Her mom was always so huge on their public image that even their house had to be fit to her liking. But now, it was…gone. What was going on?
“They’ve never done this before… why would they…?”
She just stared at the ground. Their welcome mat was gone. She gazed at the walls. And their decorations too. Had they… had they really?
Her ears drooped. “U-unless… they wanted to leave me.”
“Nonsense! You’re just making things up now!” He scolded, flames bursting at the mere thought.
She couldn’t hear him over the thoughts spiraling in her head, every disappointed look, every terrified gaze they sent her went she spoke up. Was it. Was it all a sign? That she would end up here, alone? Of course they didn't want her. Who would? When she was this cowardly, emotional, weak little-
“Huohuo? Are you okay?”
She yelped at the sound of another voice, “M-Madam Hanya?”
“What are you doing here, at this abandoned house?” she continued, voice monotone, yet sprinkled with a bit of worry.
Huohuo’s eyes widened. “...Abandoned?”
“Eyewitnesses claimed that the owners had just run off this morning, carrying everything they had with them.”
“...Everything?”
She felt her knees grow weak. She couldn’t even say goodbye to her sister.
Even Tail couldn’t say a word.
Hanya turned to leave. “It’s getting cold out, why don’t I help you get home-”
“This is my home.” her voice was surprisingly clear.
Hanya’s eyes widened. “Here?”
“Yes.” Her gaze wandered back to the empty floor. No tears falling down this time. She was too tired to notice. They all lingered in the doorway for a bit, Hanya searching Huohuo’s gaze for any sense of sadness. But she seemed unnaturally detached from her emotions. Eyes blank and her mouth a thin line. It worried her more than her frequent crying.
Hanya took in a breath. “I’m sorry.”
That made her break. Huohuo bit her lip to try and stop her tears. It didn’t help much, though. Not when all she could think about was how everyone had left her behind. Like she had never existed. Like she had wanted. A flame snuffed out.
“Here.” she put out her hand. “I’ll take you to the Ten-Lords Commission. It’s warmer there.”
Huohuo took her hand. It was cold.
. ₊ ⊹ ⟢ ⊹ ₊ .
She knew Tail would leave her eventually. Everyone did. It was all just a matter of time.
He’d grow tired of her incessant whining and wailing. He’d run off and finally gain his freedom after all those years of being stuck together. He’d finally be happier. Without her.
She had prepared herself for this moment. She told herself that she’d be happier when he was gone, too. When they were both free of each other.
So why? Why did he sacrifice himself for her? Why would he burst into little flames all over again?
Why didn’t he leave her behind like everyone else had?
₊ ₊ ₊ ₊ ₊ ₊
She doesn’t feel the coldness melt away until she sees Tail’s form again, lively and loud as ever. But she appreciates his way of filling the silence. She’s missed it.
It helped to have someone there to talk to her on lonely nights, even if he was particularly loud. Having someone there that truly believed in her helped too. Especially when no one else really did. She knew that despite everything, his jabs were harmless. All bark and no bite. She had grown to learn that his sharp words were layered with care.
She does tell him that he could really work on learning how to show it better though. Tail just laughs at her suggestion.
. ₊ ⊹ ⟢ ⊹ ₊ .
She’s half asleep on the couch, TV still blaring that old horror-comedy movie, when she realizes.
Her gaze lands on Tail, snoring loudly as he’s curled up into a little fireball.
He really was the one person who never left her. Even after everything. They were stuck together… but this time she knew he actually chose to stay. He chose to stay by her side.
She softly smiles. It’s… nice to know that. That even deep, deep, DEEP down, he truly cares about her.
As she drifts off, his warmth envelops her like a blanket.
She finds that doesn’t mind the cold anymore. Not when she has him.