Work Text:
Yue Qingyuan thought he was a good man.
But now, his Xiao Jiu has gone. He thought he would let Xiao Jiu go that day, realising that his precious Xiao Jiu has gone pass his love for him. It seemed like Yue Qingyuan’s love for him was never enough.
But then Xiao Jiu’s pavilion was burned and left nothing of him for Yue Qingyuan to carry.
And then truth came out : how Xiao Jiu was abused and belittled in their own home. How people thought Xiao Jiu was not someone worth of respect and love. How they had played Yue Qingyuan to distrust Xiao Jiu’s complain all the time. How Xiao Jiu was actually telling the truth. How his precious Xiao Jiu was actually fighting for his right and life all the time.
And how selfish he was being. How blind he was. And how truly stupid he was—he could see now why his Xiao Jiu lost his love for him, hated him, and wanted to go away from Yue Qingyuan.
He couldn’t fault Xiao Jiu after that. Even without actually touching Liu Qingge for the past few years since Xiao Jiu changed, Yue Qingyuan just couldn’t let himself touch his ‘First Wife’ again. Because he had promised Xiao Jiu, He had promised Xiao Jiu all his love, loyalty and protection.
It was an empty promise, from a man named Yue Qingyuan who was so proud and thought too highly of himself.
He climbed from the bottom. He carved his place within this kingdom with his hands. Or he thought so. Looking back, he was successful because he had Xiao Jiu to trust his back on. He had Xiao Jiu doing his ‘dirty things’. He had manipulated Xiao Jiu into becoming what others called a ‘cunning snake’. And he had neglected his Xiao Jiu’s need until he has no right to call Xiao Jiu, ‘the love of his life’.
Embarrassment and regret filled him until his hair was white. He couldn’t control his own feet as they kept carrying him towards Xiao Jiu’s burned pavilion. At this point, he was desperate for anything of Xiao Jiu’s. He was actually hoping Xiao Jiu became a spiteful ghost to haunt him. Because that way at least he could see Xiao Jiu again.
Alas, even in his dream, Xiao Jiu refused to come out. Even within his memory, Xiao Jiu’s face remained empty and becoming blurry day by day. He couldn’t eat, couldn’t think. He wanted Xiao Jiu, but Xiao Jiu didn’t want him anymore. And it was all his fault.
Without Xiao Jiu, his life was empty. Regardless of Liu Qingge as his spouse, or the position and duty that came with it, it was all for nothing. Yue Qingyuan, no, Yue Qi, wanted his Xiao Jiu back. Without him, Yue Qi was nothing. And he was foolish enough only to realise it only after it was gone.
So he did what his mind tell him to do.
He hung himself on the tree next to the burned remains of Xiao Jiu’s pavilion, wishing that he would see Xiao Jiu in hell.
He woke up and found himself standing. Everything felt so weird, it felt like he just suddenly had a clear mind. He thought he already hung himself? Was this meng po’s way to remind him about his memories?
It was somewhat familiar. The room was full of red. It felt like he was back to his wedding day. Wedding day with….
He turned to see his Xiao Jiu, looking so sad, eyes red and face white like porcelain. He looked elegant even though he was wearing a white robe like he was mourning, contrasting all the festive red around him. He looked like he saw a ghost.
Yue Qi turned to see the red sedan coming from afar. Someone was in that sedan, someone from a good family, from the sedan crest. Someone with good fortune and political power. His mind supplied a name, Liu Qingge.
No, this must be the day he married Liu Qingge, and the day Xiao Jiu was dead to him.
He couldn’t do this again. He wouldn’t hurt his Xiao Jiu again. He didn’t need the political power or the support from the Liu family. He didn’t need the position and richness from this union. He didn’t need the second spouse to help him reigned Xiao Jiu’s madness. He just needed to return himself to Yue Qi, and took Xiao Jiu away from all these. He didn’t want to see Xiao Jiu dead again. He wanted to be better. He was Xiao Jiu’s first and foremost. His life was Xiao Jiu’s and no one else’s.
Despite knowing that this was either a memory run or a nightmare, he turned and walked towards Xiao Jiu. the whole room quieted down, watching him. Yue Qi ignored them and then kneeled in front of his beloved, beautiful, perfect Xiao Jiu.
“Please forgive this stupid Qi ge.” Yue Qi started to cry, apologising again and again. But it felt like he needed to do it. “Please forgive this stupid Qi ge. I promised never to hurt you again.”
“... What do you mean? We are already here.” Xiao Jiu just answered him sadly, eyes filled with so much sadness and anger it was hard to find the love he had for Yue Qi. “Go do what you want to do. I hate your apology.”
“No, I am going to make this right.” Yue Qi arised. “I am not going to repeat my mistake.”
He took Xiao Jiu’s arm and lifted him. When Xiao Jiu was secured in his arms, Yue Qi turned to the whole room and declared, “I am NOT marrying Liu Qingge, or anyone else. Shen QingQiu is mine and I am his. Nobody else.”
The room turned into chaos.
But Yue Qi only see Xiao Jiu’s eyes, big, big pretty green eyes, watching him under those long lashes in disbelief. Yue Qi noticed the red ears and knew for sure that his Xiao JIu was happy.
Maybe he could redeem himself. Maybe in this dream or memory rerun, hYue Qi could redeem himself and gain back the love he had lost. The purest, most selfish love he could only get from Xiao Jiu, his most precious love.
And he couldn’t care about anything else.
The aftermath wasn’t fun, but it was happiness for him.
The Liu family was so angry that Yue Qingyuan dared to leave the man in his marriage sedan and left with Shen Qingqiu. Everybody called him mad and shunned him.
Yet Yue Qingyuan could kiss Xiao Jiu all he wanted that night, served his Xiao Jiu until the man screamed from pleasure and was hoarse in the morning. He made love to Xiao Jiu so many times his husband couldn’t walk the next morning (or the next three weeks).
He kissed every part of Xiao Jiu until the man complained from dizziness (but Xiao Jiu was smiling and letting him open his robes everytime).
He called Xiao Jiu with all the love language and poems until Xiao Jiu complained he was too cheesy (but replied to Yue Qi with his own love poem).
He fired every help in the household even with all of them saying that Shen Qing Qiu has turned him blind with love potion. He turned to Xiao Jiu and asked what he should do with them. He knew now how blind and stupid he was for trusting them over his Xiao Jiu. And he was so sad when Xiao Jiu looked like he wanted to cry when Yue Qi told him he believed Xiao Jiu. Yue Qi was wrong for so long. Xiao Jiu was the kindest of heart to be able to trust and love and forgive him even with all these things he had done.
He changed the whole household. He trusted Xiao Jiu with the new servants and accountant. He fired the butler (the old man was cursing Xiao Jiu as a fox who blinded Yue Qi, but Yue Qi blinded him instead in rage. Xiao Jiu needed to pull him back before beheading the man, and it was so, so good to have Xiao Jiu covering his body to prevent him from killing someone. It was so different from the role he played previously, and now he could see why Xiao Jiu was so right to dispose of them.)
The emperor also kept sending orders to him, telling him to apologise to the Liu family and dispose of his Xiao Jiu. Yue Qi killed the messenger, and then turned to his Xiao Jiu, by his side, “Would you help me kill the Emperor?”
Xiao Jiu looked so surprised, and so cute of him – his green eyes so wide, framed with the longest lashes possible, pink cheeks and pouty sakura lips–and then smiled like a cunning fox.
Mesmerizing.
“Of course, Husband. If you said so, so be it.”
And with that, the Emperor was dead and the Dynasty Changed.
(Yue Qi also made sure Luo Binghe never served his husband again).
Yue Qi sat on the throne he shared with his love–Xiao Jiu looked majestic with the crown and gold.
This was what life was supposed to be. Him and Xiao Jiu, together, forever.
END