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Hibari knew Sasagawa was back because he could hear him coming a kilometer away.
It had taken many, many years for Sasagawa to learn how to be stealthy in battle, just as it had taken him years to learn how to write down important things so he didn’t forget them. As a boxer, he knew how to be light on his feet, and now knew how to apply that technique during enemy raids, but his preferred type of motion was extreme and loud. Hibari didn’t even know how someone could possibly make that much noise just by walking, and it irritated him to no end.
At least it usually gave him enough warning to vacate the premises before Sasagawa arrived, but today he caught him in the middle of his teatime, slamming the sliding door open so harshly that Hibari was amazed it didn't shatter the glass.
Uri hissed from the cat tower in the corner, her expression matching Hibari’s perfectly as he turned to glare at Sasagawa shoving his way into his home.
“Here you are, Hibari!” Sasagawa shouted cheerfully, lifting a bottle of expensive Cabernet Sauvignon. “Glad to see you’re still here, at least!”
Hibari eyed the alcohol. He barely remembered the first time Sasagawa had forced him to go drinking with him. Sasagawa was three months younger than him, so when Hibari turned twenty, he had precisely that amount of time to enjoy no one forcing him to drink. However, the second Sasagawa turned twenty, he practically crashed Gokudera’s door down to drag Hibari out drinking with him. Hibari had no idea why he was the one Sasagawa insisted on going with, since Kusakabe was also of legal age and much friendlier, but Sasagawa was persistent.
So Hibari found himself at a bar, drinking something that tasted like piss and nearly leaving in disgust before Sasagawa made him try the sake. He did end up enjoying it, but the problem was that he was also apparently a lightweight and got absolutely smashed after only a few drinks. He didn’t remember much after that, except a vague memory of singing one of Kusakabe’s enka songs at a karaoke bar, which he didn’t think was the original bar they’d been at, and lying on Gokudera’s couch talking endlessly about birds.
It turned out that Hibari was a talkative drunk. The kind who blabbed about anything and everything and never shut the fuck up.
He was so mortified that he resolved to never go drinking with Sasagawa—or anyone—again.
(But they did go again and still do. One time, Hibari had been hunched over the counter, barely conscious, rambling on about how much he wanted to marry Gokudera and lamenting over the fact that he couldn’t. It had apparently annoyed Sasagawa so much that he’d taken him to a ring shop the very next day so he could pick something out for Gokudera.
“It might not be legally recognized, but it’s the sentiment that really matters, right?” he’d said with that grin of his that really was too much like the sun – bright and difficult to look directly at.
Hibari had averted his gaze, his eyes landing on a dark red and black tungsten carbide ring. He knew instantly that Gokudera would love it.
So he’d bought it, and Sasagawa had clamped a hand on his shoulder and irritatingly whistled Mozart’s “Wedding March” the whole way home.)
But just because he and Sasagawa had a routine of drinking together didn’t excuse him for barging in. Kusakabe tried to chide Sasagawa, but he ignored him and walked over to the kitchen counter, pulling out two wine glasses from the cabinet and pouring the Cabernet Sauvignon into it. He knew that Hibari didn’t like the type of alcohol he’d brought—the only reason Hibari even had wine glasses was because Gokudera liked it—but this was routine, too. Sasagawa brought it, Hibari refused it, they got into an argument, and both of them felt a little lighter and happier afterwards.
Hibari was glad to see him. Sasagawa had only been gone for a few weeks to work with the Varia, but with the rest of the Family ten years younger than normal, it had felt like much longer. Hibari hadn’t fully realized until then how much he’d been craving something normal.
Not that he would ever let on as much. “What are you doing here?”
“I haven’t had much time to see you lately!” Sasagawa hummed as he sat down beside Hibari and offered him one of the glasses. “Thought we could share a few drinks, since we haven’t met up in so long.”
Hibari didn’t take it. “I don’t want a drink.”
“What?!” Sasagawa shouted. “You won’t drink the booze I brought?!”
Kusakabe sighed. He was extremely familiar with this discussion, and usually didn’t care to stick around for it. Hibari didn’t blame him. “I’m going to check on our informants, Kyo-san.”
“Fine.” Hibari watched him leave, and then turned back to Sasagawa. “Of course I won’t drink it. It tastes terrible.”
“You just don’t want to drink it because you’ll end up under the table in a matter of minutes!” Sasagawa jabbed a finger at him. “You haven’t changed a bit! I’m extremely pissed!!”
“You haven’t changed, either,” Hibari said snidely, but it was a relief that he hadn’t, that he was still the same obnoxious person Hibari had unfortunately befriended so long ago.
“Oh yeah?” Sasagawa lifted his fists. “Want to bet?”
Hibari stood, easily goaded. “Let’s spar. We can use my training facility.”
Sasagawa grinned, abandoning the wine on the floor as he slipped a yellow ring onto his finger. “You’re on!”
Hibari led Sasagawa to the training facility, a large, soundproof room with nothing in it but space to spar and test out different rings and boxes. Some of Gokudera’s training equipment was still scattered on the floor in little piles. Gokudera was normally a relatively neat person, but when he got involved in a research project or training he tended to leave rings, boxes, and reference material all over the place so he could easily look back on it or use it when he needed to. He’d been working on refining the Sistema C.A.I. before he learned about Sawada’s death and got swapped by the Ten Year Bazooka, so some of Innocenti’s books and various rings of different flame types were abandoned all over the training facility. Every day Hibari looked at them and told himself he didn’t have time to put them away, that Gokudera wouldn’t want him messing with his stuff, anyway. (There were many, many arguments in the past to support this idea.)
It was an excuse, of course, but now he wished he had put it all away. Sasagawa noticed the mess immediately, and the sympathetic look he sent Hibari was so revolting that it made him feel queasy.
They spent a few minutes warming up and then turned to face each other. Over the years, they’d sparred many, many times, long before either of them even met Sawada’s group. They were in the same year in middle school, and almost as soon as Hibari joined the disciplinary committee and Sasagawa joined the boxing club they started butting heads. Sasagawa was always too loud and too disruptive, so Hibari would shut down his club, he’d come to complain, and so on and so forth.
At this point, fighting each other was routine, so Hibari knew to dodge the uppercut Sasagawa immediately aimed for his chin. Just as Sasagawa knew to duck beneath the wild swing Hibari aimed at him with his tonfa.
Their fights had always been purely hand-to-hand in the past, but these days they rarely stayed that way for long. Hibari slipped on a cloud ring, brought Roll out of his box, and shrouded his tonfa in cloud flames. Sasagawa opened his own box, bringing out Garyu. From her pouch, he grabbed his Dying Will Flame Boots and covered them and his fists with sun flames.
“So, what do you think of the younger versions of our friends?” Sasagawa asked, darting out of the way with his boots as Roll came barreling at him in his spiky ball form. “I just met with Sawada – hard to believe he used to be so short!”
Hibari scowled. He didn’t like talking while he fought, unless it was bantering with Gokudera, but Sasagawa always insisted on it, pestering Hibari until he responded just to get him to shut up. It was irritating even when they were discussing a topic that Hibari was interested in – this topic, however, was just about the last thing he wanted to talk about. “Those young herbivores are annoying and weak. But they might be able to pull it off.”
Sasagawa burst out a loud laugh. “I’m pretty sure you thought that back then, too!”
He most likely did. Though they had all eventually caught his attention and interest, it had taken a while, and he remembered often finding them irritating. He also had a lot of memories of them destroying the school in one way or another, which was one of the easiest ways to get on his bad side.
“It sure brings back a lot of memories though, doesn’t it?” Sasagawa said thoughtfully. Garyu had a tight grip on Roll, holding him back and allowing Sasagawa to quickly dart into Hibari’s range and unleash a flurry of punches. “Have you talked to Gokudera? The younger one, I mean.”
Hibari blocked his blows with his tonfa while directing Roll to propagate, thus freeing himself from Garyu’s hold. This topic was even worse than the last one. It wasn’t something he wanted to discuss, with Sasagawa or anyone. “Not much.”
Sasagawa jumped back as Roll’s multiples came flying at him, unleashing a Maximum Combination to disperse the duplicates. “Does he know about…?”
“No. I don’t plan on telling him, so he won’t find out.” Hibari ran through the remaining Rolls, using them as cover so he could swing his tonfa at Sasagawa right as he knocked aside the last duplicate.
Sasagawa blocked him with his forearm, and then chuckled. “I bet he’d be freaked out.”
“What does it matter?” Hibari hissed, aiming blows at him over and over again. “He’s not my partner. I don’t care what he thinks.”
“I’m just curious!” Sasagawa met all of his attacks head-on, very used to his pattern, and unleashed his own when he could. “It’s a pretty unique experience, isn’t it? Talking to our friends and loved ones from ten years ago.”
Hibari swung out of the way of Sasagawa’s Maximum Canon. “I want as little to do with them as possible.”
“That’s not really possible, though, is it?”
“What do you want me to say?!” Hibari growled, swinging wildly for Sasagawa’s head. “That I’m lonely? That I miss my Hayato? That every time I see their younger faces I want to hit something?”
Sasagawa ducked swiftly, but he couldn’t avoid the second blow that Hibari had aimed at his gut. Groaning, he doubled over, holding his stomach. Usually when they spared, Sasagawa was frustrated whenever Hibari hit him, but this time he looked up with a wide grin on his face.
“Yes,” he breathed. “That’s exactly what I was hoping you would say.”
Hibari stopped abruptly, confused. He stared at Sasagawa. “…You said you wanted to brawl.”
“I did.” Sasagawa straightened again. “Because I saw how hard it was for you to be around them – Kusakabe mentioned it, too. So I wanted to give you an outlet for it, someone who actually gives you a challenge. It’s not good to bottle that all up, you know.”
Hibari clenched his fists tightly around his tonfa, disgust coiling in his gut. It was horrible, this feeling of being known. He used to have no weaknesses – he used to be aloof, mysterious, difficult to read. It had been part of his armor, part of what made him strong. It had also been incredibly isolating, so he’d worked to dismantle it as he got closer to Gokudera and the rest of the Vongola. He liked being known, most days. He liked that people knew his thoughts without him having to try and explain them, that he could exist in the comfort of people who understood his preferences and habits.
But right now, it just made him feel weak. A piece of him was missing, and everyone could see it as plainly as if he had a physical injury. Even Bianchi had pointed it out.
Why could everyone see straight through him? And why did it feel so awful?
“…I hate this feeling,” Hibari muttered to the ground. “I hate feeling like I won’t be whole again if they don’t come back. It didn’t used to be that way.”
Sasagawa rubbed Garyu’s head absentmindedly, right between her ears. “I think that just comes with the territory, Hibari. You either have people you love, and miss them when they’re gone, or you don’t have anyone, and don’t feel anything at all.”
Hibari said nothing. Sasagawa, evidently, took that as permission to continue. “But I’m still here! So is Kusakabe, and Bianchi, and Lal, and Fuuta. It wouldn’t kill you to rely on us a little, you know?”
Hibari gave him the side-eye. “It might.”
Sasagawa ignored him and patted his own chest. “So any time you’re lonely, or you miss him, or any of them, you can come hit me!”
Hibari scoffed and looked away. He wanted to smile, strangely, but he definitely couldn’t let Sasagawa see that. “You don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Probably not.” Sasagawa grinned and lifted his fists back into a boxing stance. Garyu copied his pose beside him. “But when have you ever said no to a fight?”
He couldn’t remember a single time that he had, so he readied his tonfa once more. They started fighting again, their boxes and flames mostly forgotten as they just sparred like they used to. It was comforting, familiar. Just like Sasagawa was.
“You didn’t have to help me,” Hibari grouched.
“Yes, I did,” Sasagawa replied. “Because we’re friends.”
“We’re not.”
“We are!” Sasagawa shot a punch at him to emphasize his point. “We’re friends, and friends look out for each other!”
Hibari huffed as he opened the little compartments in his tonfa and swung the flails out at Sasagawa, aiming for his fists.
“Hibari, I’ve known you for too long to fall for that!” Sasagawa growled playfully. “So don’t even try it!”
He dodged the flails easily, and blocked Hibari’s sudden attack from the side with his arm. Hibari had predicted that he would do all of this, as he’d known Sasagawa for too long as well, and so it was rather straightforward for him to aim an unsuspecting kick at Sasagawa’s knees. Sasagawa let out a shout as he fell heavily to the floor, sprawled on his back. Hibari stood over him, his tonfa raised for the finishing blow.
Sasagawa laughed, deep from his belly. “Damn! How the hell do you move like that? I’ve never figured it out in all these years.”
Hibari stepped back, his tonfa dissipating back into their box. “If you haven’t figured it out by now, I’m not going to tell you.”
Sasagawa chuckled and got to his feet. “Good. It’d be no fun otherwise.”
They were rather similar, sometimes. Hibari let himself smirk a little as Sasagawa brushed out his rumpled clothes and returned Garyu to her box. He felt better too, though he was never going to tell Sasagawa that.
The ache of loneliness had eased finally, just a bit.
Sasagawa patted his arm. “Come on. Let’s figure out a plan so we can get our Family back as soon as possible.”
“Fine. But don’t barge into my house ever again.”
Sasagawa laughed loudly. “Gokudera said I’m always welcome, so I can do whatever I want.”
“I highly doubt he said that.”
Sasagawa grinned, shaking his head as Hibari started to lead the way out of the training facility. Before they left, however, Gokudera’s equipment caught his eye again. He stopped, hesitating for only a moment before he bent down and scooped up the books and rings. Now that he was thinking about it, the younger one would probably need these if he was ever going to figure out the Sistema C.A.I.
The thought of even approaching him about it though was intolerable.
Sasagawa watched him thoughtfully. “…I hear the younger Gokudera’s been looking all over for those. Wouldn’t it be funny if they just happened to show up suddenly?”
Hibari glanced at him sharply. “What are you talking about?”
Sasagawa took the books out of his arms. “Keep the rings – I know Octopus Head is picky about them. But these books could just show up in the library mysteriously. Maybe the younger one just missed them when he was going through the stacks before.”
Hibari hesitated. Sasagawa’s offer was appealing, but he didn’t know if it was better or worse to owe him a favor. “You don’t have to do that.”
“Like I said, friends look out for each other.” Sasagawa grinned mischievously. “And I’ve never been known for my memory – I’m liable to forget any of this even happened.”
Hibari shook his head, trying not to smile. “Then we better write down that plan before you forget it all.”
“What plan?” Sasagawa asked, eyes mockingly wide.
He merely laughed when Hibari shoved him out the door of the training facility.