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And every year on a same-as-any-other-day, someone will always say "Happy birthday" to him in her heart. The scenery around us becomes perfect for a dance between two people. Light and darkness mix, and our breaths intertwine. Our heartbeats embrace each other, resounding as one.
"You're wrong. Without the one you long to see by your side, no place truly feels like freedom."
His hair brushes against my forehead, and his pinky touches mine. Xinghui gently nuzzles my nose.
"Besides, didn't we create a sea of flowers here? This star isn't going anywhere. His home is where the wavyleaf sea lavenders bloom."
Speechless, I can only nod, linking my pinky around his. We watch the lights and shadows dance with one another, until even the fountain's glow has stopped, a sign of the end of a day.
His birthday is officially over, and the spectators have all walked away. In the silence of the midnight, I can feel my heart beating in my ears.
"We finished everything in time," Xinghui chimes, a pleasant expression on his face. "Thank you for putting everything together. I haven't felt this way in a very long time."
"Felt what way?" I ask before I can stop myself, my curiosity getting the better of me.
"Felt so... light. We're usually getting into trouble, it's nice to have things come to a close peacefully."
"Come to a close?"
"Unless there's more...?"
I glance away as he raises a brow at me, my mind racing with ideas. The entire day has unfolded exactly as planned, down to the final moment, that for a moment, it really does feel like a finale. I half expect us to return home and just call it a night, but the expectant gaze in Xinghui's eyes convinces me otherwise.
"Well... there are no shops open now, and no cars on the road either. Perhaps... we could have one more dance?"
His eyes crinkle as he takes my hand, beginning to spin me around once more. There's no more rushing water from the fountain behind us, and I can't help but smile in amusement as he begins humming.
"You still remember that jingle..."
"It's from the dance instructor's video. The intro music is quite the theme."
I briefly remember learning to waltz with him, a memory that now feels so far away, especially as we begin swaying from side to side.
"Shen Xinghui, you said your memories are compartmentalized,"
"-into my time with you, and my time without you, yes."
It's not like him to cut me off, and I tilt my head from where it was laying on his shoulder, to look up at his face.
"But there's a third category I forgot to mention," he starts off, gently pressing a kiss to my forehead as he leads the dance. "The time I spend for you. You took all this time to prepare today, sneaking around and staying up late, all for me. I want to do that for you, too."
"Doesn't that technically count as the time without me?"
"Not if the point is to be with you some more."
I nod, pretending to understand his logic.
"I want to do more for you," he concludes, holding me close as our dance comes to an end. "More to show how much I like you."
The second part is a little quieter, and my chest tightens as I hear his confession once more. "There's nothing more you need to do," I insist, standing up straight. I slide my hand into his, walking in the direction of our apartments.
"Maybe," Xinghui shrugs, squeezing my hand as he follows me. "But I still want to. If I could turn all those moments without you, into time spent for you, it would make the time spent with you that much more meaningful." He explains, an edge of strategy to his voice, as if planning the most efficient way to take down a room full of wanderers.
"In that case, I'll spend more time for you, too. That way, our unforgettable memories will turn into an unforgettable life time."
Walking back home hand in hand, I continue to sneak glances at Xinghui, trying to figure out what he's feeling. Despite an incredible day with barely any hiccups, I still worry if he's enjoyed himself as much as I have.
"Hmm?" Xinghui hums the moment our eyes meet, having glanced at each other at the same time. Shaking my head quickly, I pretend that I hadn't meant to stare. The squeeze of my hand tells me he doesn't believe me, and I hide my disappointment the moment he unclasps our hands to find the keys to his apartment. I linger a little too long before joining him at the lobby, then the elevator. I'm still in my head, my mind racing with thoughts and feelings when the lift comes.
The very moment the elevator doors close, I'm snapped out of my senses by a warm embrace. Xinghui drapes himself over me, burying his face against the crook of my neck. The hug grows tight, and I begin to understand — he's reluctant to end the day, too.
"Come back upstairs with me."
Stunned by his forwardness, I dumbly nod, watching the lift doors open and close at my floor, without me getting out. I feel his weight press against me, his sigh of relief warm on my neck.
"You won't be able to read your letter though," I point out, making him shake his head. "Doesn't matter. You're more important." His hands crawl up my back, refusing to let me go even as we reach his floor.
"Come on," he sighs, finally pulling me out of the lift. His fingers instantly intertwine with mine, even as he unlocks his door. I absentmindedly rub my thumb over his knuckles, unsure which one of us I'm trying to soothe more.
Only once we're inside does the exhaustion seem to set in all at once. We've spent the day running around, visiting the post office far away, and having a delicately planned adventure. So being back in his apartment feels as if we've come full circle. I sit on his couch, making myself at home as I finally get to rest.
His weight on top of me as he sits on my lap, straddling me, isn't exactly unwelcome. Yet, there's something very humorous about his taller form leaning over mine.
"Aren't we doing this backwards?" I hum, amused. He nuzzles into my neck some more, only subtly shifting to not exert too much pressure on top of me.
"It's my birthday, I can do this however I want," he grumbles, his eyelashes fluttering against my neck.
"It's past twelve, your birthday ended an hour ago."
There's a pause as I wait for him to come up with an excuse, or some smart response. When he doesn't seem able to find one, he just squeezes me tighter, and I swear I can feel the pout of his lips.
"You okay?" I ask after a minute or two. For a moment, I think he's fallen asleep, but he nods, mumbling an affirmative noise as he nuzzles back into my neck. I want to tell him we need to change out of these celebration clothes, seeing as he's been in that suit all day, but I can't bring myself to.
"Just sleepy?" I try again, coaxing out another affirmation. Despite how little he speaks once he's tired, I can't help but find the display adorable.
"Should we get changed?" I ask, and receive a third nod. Yet, he stays seated on my lap, our bodies embraced. I can hear his soft breathing while he buries his face into my shoulder. Finally, I hear his voice once more.
"Thank you."
It's soft, and quiet, and filled with such immense sincerity. "You've already thanked me," I remind him, reaching a hand up to pat the back of his head. My fingers tangle into the soft strands, going against the grain as I gently scratch his scalp. He melts, his weight heavier on me as he lets out a content sigh.
"I know. But I'm still grateful. Very grateful."
We stay embraced on the couch for another few minutes. This time, I'm more certain he's truly fallen asleep. I give him a gentle shake, tenderly pushing him off my lap, so I can get out of this dress.
When I return in his hoodie, I'm shocked to see him back awake. The outer most coat of his suit has been draped over the couch, and I mentally remind myself to iron it out again. His eyes meet mine, and the relief sets in for him instantly.
"I thought it was a dream," he whispers, looking down at himself. The suit, the envelope in his hands, all tangible reminders of the day we just had. My face softens once I hear his words, and I walk over to begin helping him out of the layers.
Feeling his eyes trained on me, I quickly help him up from the couch, nudging him towards the shower. "Go go go," I urge, removing the towel from my hair and pushing it into his hands. He lets out a small laugh at my insistence, his eyes sparkling with renewed mirth. Birthday celebrations are over, and we're back to how things always are.
"Shen Xinghui, wait."
Except, this isn't how things always are. One thing's changed. I feel my face heat up at what I'm about to say, all while I tell him to wait a moment. He ducks his head back out, leaning against the frame of the bathroom door as he looks at me expectantly.
Gathering my courage, I walk over, preparing myself to shut said bathroom door the moment I admit the words in my heart. For a single second, I even think about backing out, and playing it off as a less serious moment. But he rubs his eyes, stifling a yawn while waiting on me, and it's all so familiar all at once, that I can't help myself. Taking a deep breath, I lean in and press a kiss on his cheek.
"I like you too, Xinghui."