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The ride home is silent and Hizashi hates it. But he knows that Shouta can't handle his insane chattering right now, so he keeps his voice down, even if it kills him. Shouta's year was rough and now this.. he doesn't need Hizashi to burden him with his own problems. This was too much. This wasn't real. Maybe, if Hizashi goes to sleep, he can wake up in the world where he didn't see his high school boyfriend's face in the dark mist of villain's nature. Hizashi squeezes the steering wheel in his hands as hard as he can, but still manages to not cross a speed limit. Even when he kinda wants to turn the wheel to the side and drop the car in the river. Just to cool off, a little bit. And maybe scream.
When they get home, the sky is dark and there are no clouds. Hizashi thinks it's a bit ironic. He lets Shouta go to the bathroom first, moving on autopilot and making quick dinner. He turns on the radio and turns off his thoughts, making sure Shouta and him eat enough before going to their rooms. Hizashi stays for a bit to put dishes and leftovers away, then doing his daily routine in the shower, finally heading back to his room a bit after midnight. He falls on his bed face down and bites on a pillow, swallowing the scream before it escapes his mouth.
This should be a mistake. That's what he was telling himself all day, before he saw Oboro's face in the mist. This is not a mistake. Someone took Oboro's body and created..whatever Kurogiri is. How long Kurogiri has been around? How long was Oboro's body used like that? He was just a kid, when he died and..Hizashi didn't do anything. He didn't save Oboro that day and didn't realise that the boys ashes weren't in the urn. How can Hizashi even call himself a hero?
His lungs are burning and Hizashi moves his head, just enough to breathe in with a chocked noise. He curls his legs under his stomach, sharp knees poking in his ribs and wishes he never knew Oboro Shirakumo.
It's the last day of their first year in high school, when Oboro catches him before he leaves the school. They already said their goodbyes, because Aizawa had plans and Hizashi stayed back to talk with a teacher.
"What are you still doing here? I thought you went home." Hizashi lifts a brow, going to take his bicycle, finding a key for the lock in his pocket.
"Well, I was going, but then I thought that it's a great chance for me, you know? Cuz Shouta is gone and so is everyone in school." Oboro grins at him and picks on his blue nail polish. He's nervous, Hizashi can tell, because he watches the boy a lot. A lot more than he should, probably.
"Great chance for what, buddy?"
"To ask you out! Like, on a date. I know we will meet again in a couple of day, but Shouta will be there and I wanted it to be just us. Not that I mind Shouta, obviously, he is a great guy. But I don't wanna date him. Ya know?"
Hizashi blinks a couple of times, checking his hearing aids, in case they suddenly malfunctioned. They didn't, obviously.
"Sorry, come again?"
"Wanna go on a date, Hizashi? With me." Oboro repeats himself, putting weight of his body from one leg to another. "Hizashi, you are holding your breath, bro."
Hizashi coughs, breathing in and nodding, felling his cheeks heat up in embarrassment. "Yeah, sorRY." He scrunches his nose when his quirk slips out in the end. "Sorry."
"That's fine, it wasn't that loud."
"Yeah. Ahm..I do wanna go on a date with you." Hizashi smiles, when Oboro starts grinning at him.
"Cool. Cool cool cool. Yeah. Then I.. I will think of something and text you?"
"Yeah. That sounds cool." This is extremely awkward, but cut him some slack. Oboro, the boy, who was always confident, is asking him out on a date, while being nervous. This is like a dream. "Do you wanna go on a ride down the hill together?"
"Hell yeah!"
***
It's three days later, when they go home from a movie date, holding each others hands. The date was nice. They both have same tastes in movies and after they finished snacks, Oboro took his hand, intertwining their fingers. Hizashi had long fingers, but Oboro's palm was much bigger and it was covering Hizashi's hand. Which was kinda nice and warm, so, to be honest Hizashi didn't hear some pats of the movie and it wasn't because his hearing aids were broken.
Oboro walks him home and they stay on a playground, talking on a swings till midnight, just spending time together. Before Hizashi goes inside the house, Oboro kisses him on the cheek and Hizashi's face is bright red when he is finally in his own room.
***
On the tenth date Hizashi finally asks Oboro to be his boyfriend. The boy lifts his brow, painting Hizashi's nails blue. His nails are green.
"I am already your boyfriend?"
"What? No, you aren't."
"I am not?"
"No? You never asked me to be boyfriends, Boro."
"I asked you out. Isn't it the same thing?"
"No, it's not."
"Oh, alright. Then I will be your boyfriend, sure. Does it mean I can kiss ya?"
Hizashi blushes so hard, he thinks he might pass out, but he still nods. A second later he feels Oboro's warm palms on his cheeks and their lips touch softly. The kiss is gone quickly, but Hizashi feels it even hours later when he goes to sleep.
***
Their first real kiss goes awkwardly, but they laugh it off and follow it with hundred more kisses.
The second year starts and they don't spend that much time together, because they go to different agencies. But that's fine, because they have time. They still go on dates, they kiss and hug and Hizashi is so happy. Oboro tells him, that he loves him and Hizashi says it back, because he is sure, what he feels is true love. Oboro holds him close, hugging him tightly at night and kissing him sweetly in the morning. Oboro gets him his favourite snacks on a break and puts ton of heart emojis in the end of messages. Oboro saves a kitten and reassures Aizawa, when the boy is down. Oboro shines so bright, but Hizashi never though about himself as Icarus. Oboro gives him a tight warm hug one evening and other evening there is nothing warm about Oboro, because he is dead.
Hizashi can't remember what he was doing that day, or a day after, everything is so blurry. He thinks Aizawa was crying, but his own cheeks were dry. A week later Hizashi smiles politely, when Oboro's parents hug him and cry. A year later Hizashi moves in with Shota and Oboro becomes Shirakumo, before he disappears from their conversations. And Hizashi's cheeks stay dry, while Present Mic's smirk takes over his face.
Hizashi feels a strong hands that turns him to lay on his back. His face is hot and wet and he feels Shouta's hand rubbing on his tight chest.
"Hizashi, breathe. Okay, that's good, you are doing a great job."
He doesn't feel that great. His vision is blurry without glasses, but he sees Shouta sit down on his bed, putting Hizashi's hair back from the face.
"Can you sit down? You need to drink some water."
It takes him a couple of tries, but he drinks, seeing his hands shake. He feels weird, like he took a nap in the middle of the day and woke up in the evening disorientated.
"Why?" His voice is croaky and harsh.
"You need to stay hydrated, when you cry." Shouta takes his chin and wipes Hizashi's face with a soft towel. "You have drool, snot and tears all over your face. just let me do it."
Hizashi stays silent on one place, because he can't remember the last time he cried. He didn't cry when Oboro died, so why now.
"What time is it?"
"Around 3 in the morning. I woke up, because you were making noise."
"Sorry."
"You're fine."
Hizashi rubs his face with his hands and doesn't move them away, just sitting in silence for some time. How can he cry, when Shota is right here? He was supposed to support Shota in hard times like that and he was just crying like a baby. Hizashi's palm moves to his mouth, cupping a jaw like a muzzle, but Shota takes his hand to stop it.
"Don't. You can cry as much as you want. I don't care. And if you scream, I will erase your quirk. Just..don't do that." Shota squeezes his hand and doesn't lets go. His touch is grounding and Hizashi can finally breathe properly.
"Can you sleep with me?"
"Sorry, you are not my type."
Hizashi huffs a laugh and moves on a bed, so Shota can lay down next to him. They lay together and Shota puts a grounding hand on Hizashi's chest.
"I want to visit Oboro's parents. I don't..don't want to tell them, just a visit, you know?"
"We can do that." Shota sighs quietly, when Hizashi says the boy's name.
"I want to talk about Oboro."
"We can do that too." He answers after a small pause and he starts talking first, for a change.
They talk until the sun is up and fall asleep next to each other. Hizashi's dream is full of clouds.
And when his dreams turn into nightmares, they have each other.