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Ena’s hands are shaking as she takes the letter from the Shibuya art contest up to her room. It’s just like last year, but this time, she’s way better. She’s been practicing more, getting tips from her dad, doing art in all sorts of contexts, actually going to class?
This year will be different! Actually different!
So, trembling, Ena takes out the letter and scans the words at the top of the carefully printed letter.
Thank you for entering the Shibuya Art Contest.
We received many excellent entries, and upon careful examination, we're sorry to inform you that you did not place at this time.
Ena collapses onto her bed. All that practice, and still? She’s still not good enough? A whole year later and she still didn’t place? She’ll… really never be good enough, will she?
There’s a soft knock on her door. God, it’s Dad again, probably. He knew she was entering, said he hoped she won something, but it’s the same as last year all over again.
Akito’s voice comes through the door. “Ena? I’m gonna come in. Don’t throw anything.”
Ena doesn’t even have the strength to yell at him when he barges in, and he doesn’t say anything either, just sits down next to her on the bed.
Akito grabs the letter out of her hand. “So, didn’t win anything?”
“You don’t sound surprised.”
“Well, we figured if you won you’d already be downstairs bragging about it. Dad wanted to give you a pep talk, but Mom talked him out of it.”
“I don’t think he knows how pep talks work,” Ena says, but her heart isn’t in it. “What are you doing here?”
“Hey, you remember that Tono guy?”
Ena rolls her eyes. “ Yes , I remember that you happened to bump into the half-brother we never knew about.”
“I never told you how we met though.”
“Something something singing, something something?”
Akito flicks her on the forehead. “Nah, actually he kicked our asses in a battle. He was so far ahead of us at that point, I couldn’t take it. I went into training mode, nonstop, like I used to do with soccer.”
“Running laps and stuff?”
“That, doing a lot of solo practice, doing more solo shows, not getting enough sleep, making everyone who knew me deeply concerned for my health, almost collapsed a couple of times, you know how it is.”
“Right,” Ena says. “But your friends told you to stop being an idiot?”
“They did, but before I admitted they were right, I rematched Tono, and you know what happened?” Akito laughs. “He kicked my ass again. He called it a tie but no matter how much I practiced he still wiped the floor with me, and everyone knew it.”
“So, is that your point?” Ena asks. “That we both suck and practicing doesn’t help?”
“What I’m trying to say is I got past it because I had my team to help me. And at the end of the day, we surpassed RAD WEEKEND, and that never would have happened if I gave up after that second battle.”
Ena closes her eyes and leans on his shoulder. “How’d you get past it? Seeing the wall and instead of thinking about how tall it is, start thinking about how to get over it?”
“Support from my friends, knowing I couldn’t spend forever wallowing,” Akito says, “seeing my big sister get back into art after losing an art contest.”
“Liar.”
“Hey, we live in the same house and you pretty much work here, it’s hard not to remember what goes on in your life.”
Ena manages a weak laugh. “Yeah, ok. I guess you’re right. I mean if you can do it, I certainly can.”
“Yep.”
“Think if I still look sad enough Dad will buy us takeout for dinner?”
“Only way to find out is to go downstairs and talk to him.”
“Yeah, yeah ok.” And Ena gets up, and starts moving forward.