Chapter Text
Two teens sat on a couch, one of their “vlogs” that they shoot once in a while playing aimlessly, almost muted on the television in the background. The sort of day they were having at the moment seemed particularly aimless, there wasn’t an agenda, no villain popping up on the radar, they were allowed to laze about for once in their lives.
Unfortunately for them, Jack had always been the more restless of the pair.
Jack turns to RoPo. “Do you remember one of those trashy dramatic shows we used to watch together? Back when we had free time?” After scanning through a newspaper that appeared from mere thin air, he asked, despite neither having a subscription for physical newspapers.
His head is leaning on RoPo’s, his eyes half closed, and he is rather comfortable. RoPo himself is leaning entirely back on the couch, not having moved for the longest while. The television remote is balanced on his knee.
“Mhm--” Ropo tilted his head up, in the midst of bothering Tony Stark. He’ll soon have to physically call Tony, just so the idiot Truly Understands that he won’t allow him to make Baby Angel a full-fledged Avenger, the kid is like-- 6 for goodness sake!
He’s half listening to Jack. “Which one?”
“Love Island! That one series that is always showing UP whenever we boot up the Tv so we never bothered to change it?” Jack giggles as RoPo’s eye’s light up, finally remembering what exactly Jack was talking about.
“They have an advertisement in the mail for their new season.” He tilted the newspaper in RoPo’s direction. “What do you think about signing up for shits and giggles?” Jack grinned up at the superhero, pure stars in his eyes. He always spoke about how he could CRUSH the competition, even RoPo, if the fella also joined him.
They had so much time to watch trashy TV, in the middle of world-ending events. “Mhmmmm--” RoPo tilted his head, giving the teen hero a hesitant glance.
Jack taps the paper again. “We gotta sign up! Come on! One of us gotta make this season interesting! The last few have been LAME!”
His head is tilted back dramatically, eye’s on RoPo. he doesn’t even notice his hat being tilted and falling to the floor. It drops with a small little thump onto the surface below. Messy hair, the bangs immediately fall over his eyes, free from the hat, Jack blows the hair out of his face. He needs a haircut, that’s undeniable, but he Almost has a mullet, and those are cool!!
Still, Jack’s gaze is only on him.
RoPo hummed. “There’s no way we’d both get in, Jack. Sign up! You’ll kick butt, I know you will!” He sets down his phone, giving Jack his full attention.
“Oh come on Ro! Humor me, can we both sign up for it, please?” Puppy Dog eyes, those brown eyes of destruction seemingly multiplying their effects as he stared at his best friend. Setting the newspaper down, poking RoPo on his side, barely even ticklish with his powers working, he smiles anyway.
RoPo tried his hardest to resist his best friend, his arms crossing, his own replying stare seemingly feeble against the teen who dragged him into most of their most impulsive moments. This isn’t denying that RoPo is extremely impulsive of his own accord, but that it’s very much amplified by Jack’s mere existence.
“Gah.“ He shook his head, breaking eye contact before he truly got so desperately lost in those bright eyes. He physically has to turn his head away, just so his heart calms down. “Fine! I’ll sign up with you, but there’s no guarantee that we will get in this together!”
“Yes!” Jack’s shiny grin could rival the sun, jerking his arm up to celebrate. “You’re such a pessimist, Ro! We’ll get in together, and I'll crush you AND the competition!”
With that attitude, RoPo could hardly wait to be at the receiving end of that successful smile, though he ought to give Jack some competition though, right?
AUDITION #374, ROPO POWER, 18. LOVE ISLAND.
RoPo softly huffed at the blinking red camera, his hands politely clasped as he turned to stare at someone the audience couldn’t see. He quickly raised a hand to shoo them out of the room. His inability to look annoyed truly brought the amusement up a clear factor, a soft twinkle in his pupils.
“Alright, leave, Jay! I gotta do my introduction on my own! Without bribing the judges with your annoying breath!” There was a fond look in his eyes, a soft smile that was full of the most “eat shit” ideals.
“You better do your best! Ace this introduction! I’m not wooing all the ladies on my own, Ro!” Was yelled in return, before the door shut, with a gentle click.
Small eye roll, shuffling his feet so that he was in the middle of the camera’s view again. “He’s so convinced that he’ll get invited but not me? Why am / I / the loose thread? Whatever.”
Small mumbling over as he turned to the camera, despite the lack of editing for said sent video, as soon as RoPo looked toward the camera, soft joyous music started up in his wake, beaming at the camera with bright eyes.
“Hi! My name is RoPo, I use He/Him pronouns, I'm 18, and I'm like-- leading the Minevengers!-- Most of the time.” Sheepish little grin, scratching his arm. “When I'm me, that is, I'm mostly leading it.”
Waving his hand toward his head, making a little ‘crazy!’ motion, he isn’t crazy, but some people see his .EXE issues as though he Is crazy, even though most of these people have also been a .EXE. Seriously, a full year of everyone’s life was taken by the .EXE virus, why is / he / the only one deemed fully crazy by that? Everyone was a .EXE at some point! Small huff of air, these people surely / know / who he is, right? This felt ridiculous in the worst ways.
“Me and my best buddy Jack want to be a part of your show! We think we could bring some genuinely intense competition, both of us are extremely competitive on our own, but against others?”
Dramatic breath of air, wider eyes, the acts of armageddon that have occurred Just from a RoPo and Jack competition…
“Wooowee! You’ll have some ratings this season! Might genuinely boost your sales!”
Soft hum, swaying from side to side, before RoPo’s face turns oddly neutral, staring down at the camera as though he could personally burn the person on the other side.
“ . . . But only if you include both of us, I swear, if I'm the only one you guys invite, I'm not going, it’s both of us or nothing. Jack has been so excited to go, it’s insane! And he’s--”
Soft breath, this is too dramatic for a signup video, but Jack won’t see it anyway.
“He’s also an absolute hero in his own right, surely you’ve witnessed him during the .EXE outbreaks? This world would genuinely not be functional without that guy, I know for a fact that the guy who started Love Island was also once turned into a .EXE, you got Jack to thank, so do it here.”
He raises a single figure toward the camera, raising an eyebrow. “So make the right choice, yeah guys?”
Cheeky little grin once more, waving toward the camera, eyes wide and seemingly innocent, he typically lets Jack be the one who seems off his rocker for the media’s sake, but sometimes, it’s good to not have all his marbles in order. This is something for Jack anyways, he wants to see his best buddy happy, let off a little steam.
“So invite us both! Kay thanks byeeeee!!”
AUDITION #275, JACK HAMMER. 18. LOVE ISLAND.
“Everything’s good and ready, Ro!”
Jack grinned as he fiddled with the lighting, with RoPo’s audition, the lighting was slightly off, and that was absolutely on purpose. He was confident that both he and his best friend would get into the competition, but if there was the smallest chance that he could look slightly better than his… “Leader”, he would personally take it, just to be an ass.
“Cool! Don’t look too dumb!” RoPo called, “Little bit of seriousness, I promise you can pull it off!” From behind the camera, RoPo finger gunned toward his best friend, before leaving the room.
Small little huffy breath of air, though he chose to not mumble any curse words, they weren’t allowed to edit out a single thing, as per the rules for this little introduction video, if they could manage to use Anything for the season’s theme, they would find it, even if that meant not cutting out awkward silences. Still, he turned to grin at the camera, lifting his cap from his head slightly, a wide smile on his face, a slight gap in his two front teeth barely noticeable, but still giving the playful edge.
“Hi! I’m Jack! I use He/Him pronouns, I am 18--” A glimmer of annoyance crossed over his features. “Like-- Two weeks Younger than RoPo, if that even Does matter to you guys--”
It did used to matter when they were younger, and it was much harder to do Anything in the earlier .EXE days because he acted so much younger than RoPo. He could be serious in the face of trouble and horror! He’s done it so many times!
“I am the field leader for the Minevengers when RoPo is incapable of doing so, so basically, on and off these past few years.” Another twinkle in his eyes, the smile seemed a little fake for a moment, hand shuffling toward his other wrist, where a black and white bracelet seemed to sit without issue. It was less dramatic looking than Stark’s nanotech arc reactor, but still gets the job done. He can protect the world much quicker when eyes turn red, if Love Island doesn’t permit Jack to have his suit during this little vacation, then Everyone is fucked when Ro gets remotely sick. He’s making sure that shit is On the contract, he won’t use the suit for impressing the ladies, but he Needs it, for everyone's sake.
Off-topic, he needs to pummel RoPo into the dirt in a Different Way.
“ So basically, I want to kick Ro’s ass on the dating scene, I can’t do that here, 'cause--” Small huff, waving his hand.
“Everything is too real here, the island won’t be! I get to steal his girlfriends, and see that pout for free! Without any consequences!” He won’t risk doing stupid flirty shit in the real world, not when he could genuinely lose his best friend due to it.
Losing the war of having any charisma but winning the best friend award five years in a row!!!
“I need to see his expression when I win, I need to see that cute little smirk fall flat off his face as he stares at me in pure disbelief, I need to see that slight red in his eyes when I win against him in every single competition! It’s just--” Jack stares off into the distance, darkened eyes filling with excitement. His hands grasped tightly. Bouncing one of his legs without noticing.
His thrill of competitiveness loudly simmering under his fingernails, it’s been so long since he’s truly gotten to just… be against RoPo, to be Better than him at something, without an outward third party coming to ruin everything. He hasn’t gotten to fight his best friend on the gaming field for a genuinely long time, it’s been blocked by .. .EXE’s and Haunted Ones and so many other horrors, with Thanos…
Blink blink, the little stimming excitement slowly drops.
“It’s been ages since me and Ro have gotten to just … be kids, you know? To just… exist! And Ro got Stark to double check your backlogs, there’s no Evil Little Club members, no money laundering, and none of you have a criminal history!” Grinning again toward the camera.
Should he have informed them of the crimes? Not really, but he can always go to the government about the unregistered mutant they have that can seem to make natural disasters on hand, there’s no way a show would go as far to make, for example, a tsunami for their contestants. Either way, that’s a backup, in case they Don’t invite RoPo and Jack to the island, Jack’s not petty at all--
Slowly widened smile, with teeth and all, he can be a threat to these people, as a Treat.
They don’t even need the money, RoPo is rich, and Jack is friends with at least two billionaires, and he's pretty sure he’s in RoPo’s will, if he isn’t, he’ll secretly place himself in there at some point!
“And with this, we can have a break! Nothing hostile, just competition that isn’t specifically world-ending. Seriously, I've seen the types of games that go on in these shows, parkour, manipulation, drama, Ro and I would genuinely be perfect for all of that! We’re very good at taking small things very seriously while taking the important things not seriously at all, we would genuinely be good for the ratings!”
The teenager seems to look blissed at the idea. “It’s gonna be such a fun vacation! So relaxing--!”
Glancing at the camera battery, oh yikes--! They should have charged the camera in between recordings, shoot--
“Anyway! That’s my invitation! Can’t wait for me and RoPo to see you on the beach! I already have my swimsuit packed!” Gleeful smile, he’s SO excited, waving as he leans forward to end the video.
The host pulls his chair away from his desk, sighing softly, a hand on his face, slowly pulling down his face, resting toward his mouth, he glances toward his co-host/presenter, she too looks a little bit miffed at the bundle of videos she was just shown. .
“...Thoughts?”
A small little huff of amusement. “And prayers, they-- you guys put my mutant status on paper? Seriously?”
Crossed arms, looking nervously at the screen, for a moment there, RoPo seemed a little like Homelander, and could she really deal with that?
“Typically, hackers of this caliber don’t want to come onto this trash TV type show-- why have we been blackmailed by so many Little Club members?” Rubbing the crease in his forehead, glancing nervously back at the auditions page.
“...Jack / did / save the world, and our season .EXE Love Island was such a drag. If I had my sanity, that season would have at least been ten episodes shorter!”
The presenter softly frowned, she lost a year of her life to that horror, and not a single buck for it to be worth it!
Princess Kelly and Princess Carly… Prince Donny.. Prince Leo and Raven.. Scuba Steve.. All these highly known people.. And then these two… goodness!
“Mhm-- I can see the vision though, with these two, maybe we can kick Donny out from our lineup? I can stomach the blackmail that guy has, and his bribes are useless.” They leaned forward, deleting Donny from the list, and replacing his name with the Superhero duo.
“Right, celebrity season.” The host snaps his fingers, thinking on the fly, he pulls up a spreadsheet of the concept of the season, frantically deleting a bundle of ideas they had previously acquired. He hopes that the advertisers don’t pull out…
“We’ll have to pull out all the stops for this one to be our best season ever!” A smile blooming on the host's face, he already has so many ideas. He pulled up the invite videos again, he needed to find normal idiots to fill the rest of the cast, as much as he wished he could simply fill the roster with teenage royalty.
The presenter looks glum. She's the one who will have to hang around these bundles of energy for a very long time, but it’s much better, considering the type of contestant she’s had to exist around in the past.
“Pretty sure Hammer has ADHD though.”
“--Right??!”
Jack was an extremely good multitasker, he has proven that over his years as a superhero, if he ever needed to have a resume, keeping RoPo.EXE focused on him while he also juggled making a cure, saving people, and items, would be at the top of his list! That was a full-time job, after all. So here he is, fighting one of the villains of the week's expendable army, with the Minevengers by his side, or the Avengers, their name changes almost frequently, and an email comes up on his HUD. Jack glances at the side of his screen, with even wider eyes as he scans over the Subject Line.
His heart rate goes up in the suit, higher than it ever had been in the fight so far.
LOVE ISLAND APPROVAL -- JACK HAMMER --
“RoPo!” Jack calls out, more excited than he’s ever been, flying near the fighting superhero. “RoPo, did you or did you not receive an email?” He blasts an indecipherable enemy coming up on RoPo’s side.
The hero gives a bewildered glance to Jack after he finishes blasting another enemy with his heat vision, of course. “What--? We’re in the middle of a fight, Jay!”
“It takes two seconds to pull out your phone-- oh whatever, hey Fri, pull up RoPo’s email for me, please?” Jack is moments away from vibrating out of his suit, aimlessly shooting at enemies that hang too close to him, though his eyes were focused on the side of a screen… floating in the air with tense precision.
“Oh for the love of-- this is not the time, Jay!” RoPo punches off enemies that attempt to surround the preoccupied Avenger.
FRIDAY, despite probably being used for at least a thousand other things, takes her time to log in to RoPo’s email, and ignoring every other email that’s in the unread list, taps on the newest one, the one from Love Island, and Jack can’t help but let out a breath of relief.
LOVE ISLAND APPROVAL -- ROPO POWER --
“We both got accepted into Love Island!” Jack yelled loudly over the coms, his arms in the air in celebration, letting out cheers one can only have after waiting not so patiently for a week.
“Jack! New York is being overrun by aliens again, can you please focus?!!” RoPo calls out, but he punches an alien that is almost getting the jump on the floating teenager, and Jack can still tell that there’s a bundle of mirth and amusement in his best friend's tone.
“I can multitask!”
“You quite literally can’t!”
“I trust these guys, they wouldn’t screw with heroes--” RoPo and Jack stood at the desk of two pieces of parchment, a man on the other side of the table stood in a black suit, looking very bored, but said nothing as he waited patiently. He was used to working with seemingly doe-eyed individuals.
“Nah! Contracts are where they get you, this is quite literally how most of our Hijinks happen, where it’s me, being your guard, while you go in guns blazing and then BOOM you’re suddenly being fucked over by Little Ally for the fourth time!” Jack grins, sitting down, RoPo lets out the smallest little huff he can, crossing his arms.
“I’ll be quick, buddy, just-- let me do it for my brain, alright? The fine print on these things has gotten me before.” Small hum, the whole thing with his biological dad has truly gotten him to overthink these types of things more.
RoPo just sighs and nods, leaning back in his chair, his eyes closed as he simply exists, pretending he’s at home, NOT dealing with the endless intricacies of television. Jack beams up at the trust on his best friend's face and glances at his contract first.
Claus 11 - Same Sex relationships are allowed on the show, though not explicitly commercialized, if one partakes in such chemistry, the show will write itself around it. We here at Love Island are very LGBTQ+ friendly, and will not write out the potential for true love!
Jack raises an eyebrow on that front, but files the information away, maybe if he and RoPo get bored, they can pretend to be in love to get off the Island? Only if they’re on this damn show for at least 6 months. He refuses to spend most of his prime years being television lab rats.
Claus 19 - In the event of a natural or otherwise disaster that isn’t made by the Love Island team, everyone will be evacuated by the team itself, if you are not, assume that either the event was made by the team itself, or that the team is simply having troubles, but remember, cameras are everywhere!
Jack quirks another eyebrow at this fact, glancing back up at the man in the suit, who makes no expression in reply. The hero’s own eyes are furrowed as he glances back down at the paper.
Claus 24 - Due to the nature of the competitor’s heroic community service, he contains an Iron Man suit created by Tony Stark, it consists of a nanotech metal bracelet around the wearer's wrist(We’ve been assured that it’s waterproof). In the case of our other Superhero in the competition being weakened, or being called by any of the Minevangers, or any other extreme situation that both heroes deem worthy. Mr Hammer has permission to use his suit off the Island in order to protect the world.
* On the island itself, it is only allowed to become one item, of either a hand or for example, fight boots, unless the situation is truly dire. Impressing the other contestants with the full suit does not count as dire.
* If an event is being staged for Love Island use and has the potential to be a threat to the competition harm but isn’t, Mr Hammer will be informed beforehand that his suit’s expertise is not needed, if he isn’t, then he is free to use his full suit.
Jack’s eyes narrow at the specifying language being used, why is he the one they’re so worried is gonna show off his abilities? RoPo used his heat ray to warm up someone's coffee quite literally the other week! Another glance toward the man in the Black Suit, previous shows haven’t majorly harmed their competitors before, so why exactly is the fine print being so intensely specific? Slow breath, he can’t exactly deny any of that, he’s just superficially worried, but none of this screams out to him being either .EXE or Evil Little Club based at all, Just… weirdo corporations.
He still points at the clauses, causing RoPo to scan over the words with a raised eyebrow.
“You guys planning to kill us or something? Cause me and RoPo should be able to defend ourselves in case of genuine danger.” This causes RoPo to agree with him, immediately nodding, more focused than he was before, he assumed that most of this would be legal lingo that Jack was more accustomed to.
The suited man simply grins. “If anyone is majorly hurt ever on this show, we are legally obligated to pay the medical bills, that one was on Claus 4!”
The pair of heroes simply stared at the legal representative, who had an exhausted breath leave his nose... “Love is more likely to occur in situations that show people the real them, none of these--” The lawyer waves his hand dramatically. “--fake presented moments that occur during a presented facade to get a partner. That’s all we’re looking for, a little bit of reality in our trashy TV shows. It’s great for the viewers!”
Jack stares in disbelief at the man, before turning toward RoPo in an aghast expression, who simply raises a singular eyebrow, and Jack knows exactly what his best friend is silently telling him.
Jack hasn’t had any trouble breaking the law in the past, and he won’t start now. If Jack decrees that these poor individuals are in danger, then Jack will save them, fuck all this.
“..Fine.”
He pulls his contract away, and RoPo’s bundle comes forward, and Jack immediately scans through it, knowing he’ll find Some sort of bullshit.
Claus 7 - All around the island, there are air fresheners that release 25% of a chemical that RoPo is reportedly allergic to, to everyone else, the island just smells a little bit saltier. This will help the competitor not have an unfair advantage due to his abilities in challenges, and other games,
Jack immediately looked up, his eyes wide, RoPo glanced at him with a small side frown. “25 percent, Ro!” Turn toward the lawyer. “That’s too much! Without his abilities, RoPo is a weak, noodle man, he huffs with every long-winded conversation and like-- is just simply SO pathetic! Bring that down to like- 15 percent, guys! He can’t fly at 10 percent, all he can do at that range is just jump high! I promise that like-- 25 percent is wayyyy too much! ”
RoPo crosses his arms. “That’s-- That’s a stretch, but like, yeah. I would also be way too sniffly for any cameras, it wouldn’t be fun for me.” He knew this would happen, but goodness.
The lawyer is very unamused, staring at the pair of them, but tilting his head, the earpiece is lighting up, and Jack is sure that RoPo can hear it, considering the small grimace on his face. “..But--”
“Sorry, guys, 15 percent or we’re backing out,” Jack affirms for him and RoPo, who has a grateful little look. Jack will always be the embodiment of ‘She asked for no pickles!’, fella, his public image will go down the drain while RoPo gets to look like a happy smiley little clam.
More silence, before RoPo looks happy again, The Lawyer shifts back in his chair with a disgruntled expression, pressing a couple of buttons.
There’s a long minute of printing at the printer, and there’s a freshly printed bundle of parchment in front of Jack again, and he happily shoves the old one off the desk, grinning widely, no other clauses catch his eyes, none that seem to mortally wound RoPo specifically, of course.
“Then we’re in business, folks!” He pulls out a pen in his pocket, there’s no way he’s trusting these bureaucratic office supplies.
He trusts RoPo to do the same, but the guy couldn’t wait and used the pen that was available… yuck, bureaucratic cooties… now he has his fingerprint! He's doomed!