Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Welp… I’ve done it… I’m God now… I can do anything I want to… I should feel amazing… but I don’t… I’m at the top of the world. I’m above everyone else. I should be happy. But what more is there to do if I’ve done it all?

Hi. I’m Evbo. You might know me from hit series Parkour Civilization. Yes. I’m aware of this. I’m aware of everything now. This isn’t the original timeline. I’m just a bunch of words on a screen. Now I’m going to live out a story in my current timeline that someone from your universe came up with for me. Trigger warnings for yaoi and a lot of just… not taking anything seriously. Well. Here we go, I guess.

Parkour God. That’s me. I’m Parkour itself. I’m above the four levels of society, Parkour Noob, Parkour Pro, Parkour Master, and Parkour Champion. I’ve gone through all four, gotten a taste of everything, and ended up with even more. I’m at the tippy top. I’ve done everything and now there’s nothing more to do. I’ve made my Parkour Master friend the new Parkour Champion to take my place now that I’m the Parkour God. I’m guiding him through how to work the Command Blocks right now. He seems to have the basics down. They have rebuilt our world quite nicely. I’m very present in the world compared to the previous Parkour God. I saw him only twice. Most have died never having seen him once. Now I walk amongst my people as if I’m one of them. That’s because I was at some point, but I think I’ve made that pretty clear.

I think I want to do something today. Maybe walk around, check in on how Parkour Civilization is doing… like always… I should come up with something new. Maybe I can make a new parkour course… or come up with a new method to parkour… I want a challenge. What about a candle neo around full blocks… that sounds interesting. I don’t think I’ve ever heard of anything like that before.

I spawn in two candles and three oak planks and build the neo. Yeah… that looks hard enough. I stand on the candle and prepare to jump, taking a deep breath. I notice that I can’t feel any air entering my lungs. It doesn’t matter though. I take the leap and just barely miss the candle. I land on my feet though. It’s fine. I’m not doing a parkour battle or anything. Standing on the candle again, I try again and make it. Second time’s the charm. Oh well.

I walk over to my friend, the Champion, and show him the candle neo. I ask them to give it a try. They fail a few times, and I cheer when he actually lands it. It’s impressive they managed to hit that their fourth try. I’m proud of how well he’s doing as Champion. I engage in some banter with them, and I realize that we’ve been through so much together and I don’t even know his name.

“Champion…”

“Yes sir?”

“I never actually got your name, did I?”

“Oh. You’re right… I mean, you can call me whatever you’d like. I don’t mind.”

“Do you have an actual name though?”

“Well… Yeah... Everyone does.”

“What is it?”

“…”

“Champion?”

“…”

“Do you not know your own name?”

“N-no… I do… it’s just…”

“Well, what is it then?”

“I… Don’t… have one…”

“You could’ve just said that you know.”

“R…right…”

“Well? Do you want me to call you by some sort of name or do I just call you Champion like I have been doing?”

“Again… call me what you want. I’m your lowly worshipper, sir. You are my God. You are above me.”

I’m flattered, heh. I keep forgetting I’m literally a God now and I’m not just some dude. I actually have worshippers… People actually like me…

“Well… I’m as much of a God to you as you are to everyone else. I think you should be able to choose what you want to be called.”

“Ah-“

He looks flustered.

“Well… I guess Champion works… it works fine… yeah… heh…”

He sheepishly rubs the back of his head, blushing yellow. I decide to change the subject and ask how everything’s going, he said it’s going well. I sit on the edge of the champion level and look down at the master level. It’s coming along nicely, I guess. Everything looks a bit bland and colorless… The houses are just pillars with a door and some have gardens cutting through the middle, kind of like how they were before but… much less detail. Well, I’m sure I could have Champion talk to the Masters about starting a business to decorate houses. It sounds like fun. I’ll ask him about that later.

I begin to zone out a little, staring off into the distance with no real focus. That is, until I hear a voice I know all too well.

“Parkour God, hm? Heh… more like… parkour… snot? I dunno. I’ll work on that. Heh…”

[VINE BOOM WITH REVERB]

It… can’t be possible… he died… I saw it… I sit, motionless. Frozen in shock. Something pokes me. I turn around, thinking it’s Champion, but instead, I see Seawatt.

“What a loser. He can’t even see me. Well, that means I can mess with him a little…”

[VINE BOOM]

Mess with… me? I can see him. Why don’t I mess with him too.

[THREE VINE BOOMS]

I look around in a confused manner, hoping to trick him into believing I really can’t see him. I slowly turn back to stare off into space and hear a giggle as I do. He continues to insult and poke me for a while. It takes a lot to not just turn around and yell at him.

Then, I feel him grab something. It’s behind my head. I’m not sure what it is, but I can feel him touching it. I turn around again, to see him standing there.

There’s something about him I didn’t notice before. He isn’t wearing any boots. But that isn’t all. A pair of wings drag on the ground behind him, occasionally twitching. Wings? Why does Seawatt have wings? I try not to stare directly, but rather I focus on the space directly next to him. I turn around again, pretending to see nothing.

What was that that he grabbed? It could be my headband… but I don’t think I would feel that the same way. I didn’t feel any tugging, more like if someone grabbed your bare shoulder.

Seawatt laughs again, and grabs the mystery limb again, this time… spinning it? What the… It feels like it’s spinning… limbs shouldn’t spin… I look up, trying to get a peek at what Seawatt is playing with, but I see nothing. He sounds like he’s laughing his lungs out. I’ve never heard him laugh this hard… This must be really entertaining. I don’t get it.

I decide to get up and ask Champion if he can see what’s on my head. I hear Seawatt’s footsteps following me, but I ignore them. I want to try and keep this up for as long as possible. It’ll be so funny once he figures out.

“Hey, Champion.”

I walk over to him. He just fell while trying to jump on the Command Blocks.

“Oh- Hi Evbo. What’s up?”

Champion leans on one of the blocks tail wagging back and forth. I think he’s trying to play off the fact that he just fell, but I’m not exactly sure.

“Question. Is there something like… on the back of my head?”

“What do you mean?”

“I dunno… I felt something touch some sort of mystery limb right behind my head.”

I gestured in the area, and I actually felt something. It feels somewhat circular, but there’s some shapes interrupting it in a few places.

“Oh… I think that’s some sort of halo or something. I thought you knew about it, so I never pointed it out.”

“Halo...?”

[VINE BOOM]

I try to pull it in front of me to look at, but it feels stuck in place. It does turn though. Interesting… I never knew I had a halo. Now that I think about it, I remember seeing a sort of halo on the previous Parkour God. It’s probably related to that. Yeah.

“Huh… What does it look li-“

[VINE BOOM]

It begins spinning again. I think Seawatt is still playing with it. Champion looks at me, confused.

“Can you like… control it?”

“No... no I can’t…”

“I mean… you did say you felt something touch it. Maybe there’s like… a ghost or something.”

“Yeah… a ghost…”

I look behind me. Seawatt is snickering but freezes when we make eye contact. I think my cover might have just been blown. Oh well. Maybe not, but we’ll see. I don’t think Champion can see him. It’s probably just me.

A little later I’m practicing my neo jumps when ghost Seawatt comes up to me. I ignore him. He watches me silently for a few minutes before saying something.

“Evbo.”

I ignore him again, hoping he’s just messing with me still.

“Evbo.”

He says it louder. Yeah… he totally knows. I hesitate for a second before responding.

“What.”

“So you CAN see me… You were just ignoring me the whole time. Jerk.”

“You wanted to mess with me, so I messed with you.”

“Still rude. You could’ve at least hinted at being able to see me.”

“I think you were meaner, calling me parkour snot.”

“Yeah, yeah… whatever. Shut up.”

“Look, Seawatt. I want you to explain something to me.”

He nods in response.

“I saw you die. I saw it. Why are you still here.”

“…”

“Explain. Now.”

“Well… I’m a ghost… isn’t that obvious? I’m not alive.”

“But… I didn’t think ghosts were real…”

“They are. There are very few of us, but there are some. Bodies disintegrate after death, so only the soul is left. Typically, the soul stays for a few days and leaves. In some cases, stronger souls are able to stay tethered to the mortal realm.”

“And you are… a stronger soul?”

“Yes, I believe so. I’ve lasted this long, so I mean… It’s more than likely.”

“Ah… I see… So um… what’s with… all… all that…”

I gesture towards his wings.

“All what?”

Oh. He didn’t see… okay.

“The… wings…”

“Oh… Yeah. I dunno. They kinda just… appeared after I died. They’re heavy… I can’t figure out how to close them… or move them for that matter… It’s alright though. I’ll figure it out eventually.”

Huh… Cool…

Me and Seawatt chat for a bit. He explains why he was taunting me like that. Apparently, he was just insanely bored and didn’t mean to be rude. I’m a little doubtful about that but I can understand where he’s coming from… I think at least. I show him a few cool parkour moves I’ve learned since becoming Parkour God. Yeah, he seemed pretty impressed. I showed him the candle neo and asked if he could try it. There’s no way he’s gonna-

[VINE BOOM]

He got it first try. NOT EVEN I GOT IT FIRST TRY- no way he actually did that… Ugh. Whatever.

I ask him if he wants to see the cool things I can do because I’m Parkour God, and he nods.

I start off showing him that I can fly- Well… not really. I can make parkour courses in my mind, and they become real, but only I can see and interact with it. Essentially, I can parkour in the air. Pretty cool I think, heh. I’m also 100% immortal. I can’t die from fall damage and parkour attacks only make me feel like I’m in pain, never causing any actual damage. I also never age! Unless I want to. But I don’t want to right now. So I don’t! Another thing I show him is that I have access to any block ever (aside from Command Blocks)! This power has helped me learn about some super interesting blocks I’ve never seen before. I’m still working on figuring out how to incorporate them into parkour.

Seawatt seems to like my cool powers. He apparently has some of his own too. He asks me to build a small wall for him, and after I do, he walks right through it.

[VINE BOOM]

I want to phase through walls too… Meh. I have a lot of other cool powers though so it’s fine.

After a while, Seawatt points something out that I’ve forgotten about. The 5th layer. The Parkour Fighter layer. This came up because I remembered he saw history I didn’t know about and asked him about it. He brought up the library in that layer. I completely forgot there’s a library. When I was in the 5th layer last, I went to the library for a short amount of time… I never stopped to read any of the other books there… Maybe since I have a break from saving Parkour Civilization, I can go back to the Parkour Library and learn some things I didn’t get the chance to. He said it would be dangerous, but I’m Parkour God. I’m immortal. I’ll be fine!

Both of us walk over to Champion and ask if he wants to come with.

“Champion.”

“Yes sir?”

“C’mon, you know you don’t have to call me sir-“

“Sorry… I forgot- I never do that- I’m sorry!”

“It’s fine! We’re going to the 5th layer if you want to come with. Just to do some research.”

“We?”

Oops. I look at Seawatt, and he’s signaling NO.

“Uhhhhh… nobody important…”

“… Right… Well… As long as the visit is nothing like last time… Yeah… sure, I guess.”

“Sweet!”

The three of us parkour to the bridge. Champion jumps first, then Seawatt, then finally me.

Chapter Text

Ah. Water parkour. How I didn’t miss this. I find myself treading water once more in the lost 5th layer of Parkour Civilization. I see Champion cautiously making his way to the land where Seawatt is already standing. Well, I don’t feel like doing water parkour. Instead, I try to lift my feet up into the water and place imaginary parkour directly under every water block and I just walk on that. I’d rather practice water parkour when I’m not floating directly over the void since I’m still unsure if I die when I fall in there and I really don’t want to find out right now.

I make my way over to Champion and Seawatt and wipe imaginary sweat off my forehead.

“Phew. That was a close one. Well? Lead the way, Seawatt!”

Seawatt nods and I follow as he begins to jump towards the houses. Though it isn’t long before Champion stops me.

“Wait- Evbo. Did you say… Seawatt?”

[VINE BOOM]

Uh. Oops. Seawatt stops in his tracks and turns to stare at me. I don’t think he caught that I said his name even though he told me not to earlier.

“I- uh- I mean-“

I look at Seawatt for some sort of indication on how to cover this up. He just stares though. Not a happy stare either.

“NOBODY! HAHA UH… IMAGINARY… GHOST… FRIEND…? Ahem. I. No- he’s not here. I never said Seawatt haha- you’re hearing things…”

Gaslighting. Yeah. Never thought I’d be gaslighting my friend. Mmm….

“No, I heard what you said. You said Seawatt’s here. The man who held me hostage. The man who betrayed you. The man we teamed up against. The man YOU SAID WAS DEAD! THE MAN WHO DIED YEARS AGO! THE ONE WHO RUINED PARKOUR CIVILIZATION!”

Ouch- never heard him yell at me before. Uh… how do I defend him. How do I defend myself?

“Well… He wasn’t exactly… the one who ruined Parkour Civilization… The old Champion did…”

“Yeah, well Seawatt helped. I thought he died. Why the hell are you having him tag along like we’re all friends? I hate him.”

Oof… Well… I see where Champion is coming from. Seawatt did… hold him hostage and threatened to kill him if I didn’t cooperate… he did help ruin Parkour Civilization… twice actually… he did… Yeah Seawatt isn’t exactly the best person… but what he said before he died stuck with me… He enjoyed working with me… he was really friendly when I was hunting down the Parkour Legends’ discs… I mean, he wasn’t the best person… but he wasn’t the worst either.

“Just… calm down... I’m sorry. But he’s coming with us. We came all the way here, might as well look around again. And Seawatt is the only one who has the layout of this place memorized. He’s coming with.”

“Fine. Let’s just go.”

Yeah, I win. We win, actually. Or maybe this is just a win for Seawatt. I dunno.

We’re jumping for a while before we reach the neighborhood Seawatt stayed at when I searched for the discs. Just the same as I remember it. In the distance I see a hooded figure… A Parkour Fighter? Looks like it. I feel like I’ve seen this silhouette before…

Whoever it is turns around and starts parkouring towards us. I start to panic, what if it’s an enemy? I pull out some blocks and quickly build an attack, preparing to attack. They start waving and saying something, but their voice is muffled so I can’t make out what they’re trying to say until they get a little closer.

“WAIT! WAIT! I DON’T WANT A FIGHT!”

[VINE BOOM]

I’ve heard that voice before… is that… Oh no.

“EVBO! Evbo it’s been so long…”

My Parkour Fighter friend… My Ally… Oh gosh… I completely forgot to-

“You… You LEFT me here! You promised to get me out of here and you LEFT ME!”

Oopsies…

“Evbo?”

Champion looks over at me, and then at my Ally. Yikes… Okay how do I fix this…

“Heyyy there pal- It uh… yeah, it has uh… it has been a hot minute… heh… Oops… Look… I’ve been a little busy…”

“You ABANDONED ME! What kind of things have you been doing to justify this!”

“I uh… Well… I had to save Parkour Civilization by defeating the Parkour Villain right after I returned to Parkour Civilization… I became Parkour… I’ve had to help Champion here fix Parkour Civilization after the Parkour Villain destroyed it… It’s been a LOT of work… sorry…”

He seems stunned. Yeah, I’d probably react that way too if I was told all this.

“You… became Parkour? How…”

“I’m Parkour God now!”

Minor flex.

“You what…?”

“I know, right? Super crazy. Anyway, we’re visiting to take a look around, check out the library, casual stuff. I’ll bring you with to Parkour Civilization when we’re all done here! Wanna come with us?”

I gesture towards Champion and Seawatt, although I assume he can’t see Seawatt. He’s there though, on the block next to Champion. My Ally nods and comes closer. I remove my attack, which I completely forgot I was standing on, and our little group goes back to the journey to the library!

My Ally offers to lead the way, although I tell him Seawatt is here and already like 10 blocks ahead of us in ghost form. He seems confused, but kinda just goes along with it.

Ah… the Parkour Library. A wonderful place filled to the brim with dusty old books, cobwebs, and holes in the floor. I mean, buildings usually have parkour inside of them but… this seems a bit unnecessary.

Seawatt climbs a ladder and goes to grab a book, but his hand goes right through it. What even are the conditions to meet if he wants to touch something? He tells me to grab the one he’s pointing at and show it to him.

I pull it out. A dark green book (best color ever, haha) and read the cover. It looks like a romance novel. I really don’t want to read a romance novel for him. Seawatt tells me to open it up and turn the pages for him, but I say no. He calls me a jerk and pushes me to the side, almost into one of the big holes. Seems like he’s the real jerk here.

Champion is looking at a pale red book with orange stripes on the spine, and my Ally is flipping through two at the same time. Funky.

I choose a book with a cover matching the green on my sweatshirt. Its title is written in Parkour. Of course. Here’s an excerpt.

A world exists somewhere that is not parkour. Parkour is not life for those living there, but rather a hobby for some who find it fun.

[VINE BOOM]

I think the author of this story just came up with a stupid idea for where the plot is going to go that is genuinely the most basic thing anyone’s ever come up with in the world. Well, let’s keep going.

In this world, trees are everywhere, water is a common resource used by all, and the sky can be seen from nearly everywhere. The ground is solid and sometimes natural holes and tunnels are found leading to resources rarely found in our world. Animals are found everywhere in this world and are used in many places outside of just food.

Hm… seems interesting. I wonder if this is like… a real place. I’d be cool if it is. I turn the page. There’s… drawings… no… they’re shiny… It says these shiny drawings are called “photos”. Never heard of those before. Apparently, photos are images of things that are real and show how they look at the moment it’s taken. So this is a real place after all… There’s a lot to look at here. First of all, that’s the sky. Then second… there’s no jumps… and the ground goes up and down in some places. There’s a big continuous puddle of water… but most notably, there’s trees. Lots of them. I’ve only ever seen trees in both the area where Pros practice parkour, and in the gardens in the Master level houses. Actually, now that I think about it, this seems to be the same world the fake memory given to us by Seawatt under the control of the previous Champion takes place in…

Finding this world could be an incredible opportunity for us. We could see what life is like outside of Parkour Civilization! I’m sure the journey won’t be easy, and getting home might be even worse, but if we can bring things back from this world, we might be able to make new parkour! And uh… you know… uh… Well. New parkour?

I decide to show my findings to everyone else.

“So, I found this book…”

“Evbo. That’s just a bunch of… symbols.”

Champion just stares. My Ally does speak up though.

“That says… there’s a world… another world… Look.”

He turns the page to the one with the photo things.

“This is what it looks like. There’s no parkour. This could have been left to rot for an eternity, and nobody would ever know this world existed! This… this is incredible! Evbo how did you find this?!”

“Well… it was the first book I saw that was green. Cover was written in Parkour. I knew it was old, so I had to check it out. Do you think we’d be able to go visit?”

“If we can find it, yeah!”

I’ve never seen my Ally so excited before. He’s practically bouncing off the walls. Champion asks a good question.

“Well… does it even have any information about how to get there? Or where it is?”

I flip through a few pages before coming across a crudely drawn map. It seems to be of the noob layer.

“Far into the Parkour Outskirts we can make a portal using… obsidian… and lighting it with fire… that will lead us to a dimension where if we build another, it will directly link to this world…”

“What’s the Parkour Outskirts?”

Everyone stares at me. I guess nobody here has ever been to the Noob layer before…

“It’s a place in the Noob layer. Beyond our borders the ground gets a little sketchy to parkour on, and many blocks are missing. I’ve been there before. Before I ever ranked up. I can take you guys. It’ll be a long and tough journey, but it should be worth it. Uhhh… You.”

I point at my Ally, since I never did get his name… I should ask him later.

“Me and Champion don’t need to eat, and Seawatt is dead. But you, I assume you still have to eat. You’re gonna need to stock up on food before we go. When I was out there, I just barely survived on only about 4 raw beef, and I wasn’t allowed over 3 hunger bars. You’re going to need a lot of food if you want to be able to sprint.”

He nods. I stash the book in my inventory and continue speaking. Next, I point at Seawatt.

“Seawatt. You’re… gonna be pretty much useless. I don’t know if you’ll even be able to go through the portals. But you’re coming anyway.”

“What the heck man?”

Ah. He didn’t like that. The other two stare at me like I’m going insane.

“It’s true. We’ll see what happens though.”

Next, Champion. He flinches when I point at him.

“And Champion. You uh… just. Be you. I guess. I don’t think we need to prepare anything outside of a way to start a fire. I can spawn in obsidian, so that won’t be a problem. But we’ll worry about all that when we get there. I dunno what you guys want to do while we’re still here, but I’m gonna look at a few more books. Just do whatever until I’m done. Then we can go back.”

Everyone nods and gets back to reading. Apparently while I was busy looking at the green book, Seawatt learned how to turn pages. Must look really weird to the others, just a book moving on its own.

I pick a few more books and read them. Nothing stood out about them that I feel would progress the story, but one of them had a love letter written in parkour slid inside of it. How cute! It’s a shame that it doesn’t look like it’s been opened. I’m not going to read it because one, I don’t want to interfere with someone’s love life (even if they’re probably dead by now) and two, that kind of stuff makes me feel a little yucky inside sometimes and right now is one of those times.

[authors note: arospec evbo ftw fire emoji]

Once we’re all done reading, I take them to kinda wander around for a little bit since it’s been a while since three of us have been here. I decide to catch up with my Ally.

“So. Been a while, yeah?”

“Mhm…”

“What’s been going on?”

“Uh… a lot of the Parkour Fighters ended up jumping into the void after they realized Seawatt isn’t getting us out. I stayed, hoping you’d come back for me. And well, you didn’t. Not until today at least. There are still a few of us left, I told them about your promise. We began a little club! Uh… they’re expecting you to get them out too, by the way. I dunno if you uh… knew… They’ve been praying to the Parkour God daily… So, I dunno if you’ve been getting anything…”

“Welp. Okay. You just restarted a religion… awesome. So, uh. Yeah, no I haven’t been getting anything like that. Nope.”

“I mean… they were praying to the previous God, so I guess that makes sense.”

“Do I have to go pick them up now?”

“Yeah. I’ll take you.”

I tell the others I’m leaving, and my Ally takes the lead. He takes me to the crystal area, near where we first met. One of the houses in the crystal area. When we enter, there’s a small platform built in the center made out of wood, and three Parkour Fighters sitting around it. They look over at us and immediately their eyes light up. They start chattering unintelligibly over each other. My Ally tells them to settle down and introduce themselves to me one by one.

The one with brown hair and a grey cloak steps up. His name is Feryl. He approaches, pauses, and gets down on his knees. I tell him to get up and that he doesn’t have to do anything like that… I mean, honestly. I’m not that speci- oh yeah. Nevermind, I totally see where he’s coming from. He gets up and moves back to the table. One with blue eyes, black hair, a brown hooded sweatshirt, and a satchel comes up next. His name is Kyuzi. He’s a lot calmer and backs off after introducing himself. The third is named Rafiel and he has grey eyes, a brown cloak, blonde hair, and a dark blue mask. After they introduce themselves, I tell them that if they want to leave with us, we have to leave now.

We bring the three back with us and I use the magic of fuckall to teleport us back to parkour civilization. The four Parkour Fighters, however, are nowhere to be seen when we get there.

Chapter Text

cum

Major L
to me
1 minute agoDetails
We find ourselves back at the top of Parkour Civilization, and I look around for the Parkour Fighters. Nothing. I think for a sec about where they’d be, and realize I know exactly where they are.

Ah, the Parkour Noob level… just the same as I remember it. One block jumps as far as the eye can see. I enter the Temple of Parkour to see if my suspicions are correct, and not to my surprise, I find the four Parkour Fighters in leather boots standing on the spawn point.

“There you guys are, I was worried! So! Welcome to Parkour Civilization, happy to have you…”

The four look around in awe. I assume they were born on the Fighter level, so they’ve never seen anything above or below it.

“This is the Parkour Noob level, where everyone starts out. The Fighter level goes between Pro and Master, so I assume you might want to just immediately rank up to Pro. The jumps at the Noob level are probably really easy to you.”

“Yeah, I think I’ll do that then.”

My Ally rushes over to the course to rank up and finishes quickly. The one in the brown sweatshirt follows after. I forgot his name already. This is kinda why I never ask, heh… The other two agree to look around the Noob layer before ranking up, and I tell them I’ll meet them up on the Pro layer.

I make my way up there to find my Ally and Kyuzi admiring the architecture of the Parkour Temple. I designed it myself, very proud of that. I used to have a headband on the statue of the Champion. I replaced it with a crown since I’m no longer the Parkour Champion. Just a small detail I wanted to point out, heh.

I begin to yap to the ex-Parkour Fighters about my story, about how I became Parkour God. I try to keep them occupied until the other two make their way up. They listen eagerly to how I climbed the ranks, met my Master friend, Champion, and how I defeated the Parkour Villain in all of my epicness.

About ten minutes pass before the other two show up, forgot their names too. I’ll have to write them down at some point, I guess. One of them is named Feral or something… I think. Yeah, that sounds about right.

I tell them what to do to get started here and decide to give them a few days to settle in before we depart on an epic journey to find a new world and risk our lives or something. I set the four loose and they quickly begin parkouring away to go enjoy their new lives as proper members of Parkour civilization.

About a week passes before I go check up on the ex-Parkour Fighters. I only tell Champion I’m leaving to go find them because I can’t find Seawatt today for some reason.

I jump down to the Parkour Pro level, catching myself with a water bucket. Why do I use water buckets? It’s fun, of course! But that’s not the point of this. We’re here for my Ally and his friends.

I find the one with the brown cloak and blue mask first, selling houses. Jobs still exist in Parkour Civilization. People work to keep the place functioning. There’s not much benefit outside of actually having a place to get things. I tell Brown cloak (what I’m calling him for now until I come up with something better) that we’re going to be leaving today and to stock up on food. He nods and goes into an extra room, where he comes back out of with another Pro comes out of to take his place. I don’t remember that room being there. It doesn’t matter though. I have to find my Ally, Sweatshirt, and Grey cloak.

Grey cloak is lounging in his house. I see something on the wall that says… how do I read that… It’s spelled Feryl. That must be the Feral guy I was talking about then. I make a mental note of that. I tell him the same thing I told Brown cloak, and he rummages through his cabinets. I take my leave while he’s busy.

Sweatshirt is casually parkouring around, taking in the sights. Again, I tell him the same things, he does a salute and jumps off to God knows where… oh right- that’s me, haha! Yeah, I don’t know. Probably his house or something.

My Ally is the last one I found. He’s living in my old house, the one I lived in when I was a Parkour Pro. He’s standing outside the building, talking with… Is that… Is that my old neighbor!? I completely forgot about him! Jeez, it’s been so long… I’d feel bad interrupting them, but I have to tell my Ally about what we’re doing- Oh well. Interrupting a conversation isn’t that bad.

“Hey! There you are- I’ve been looking for you!”

Step one completed. That wasn’t so hard! My Ally stops talking, and both turn to look at me. My neighbor runs up to me and gives me a hug.

“Evbo! It’s been so long!”

He lets go and backs up a jump. My neighbor looks me up and down.

“How have you been? You’re not the Champion still, are you?”

“Ehh… not exactly… Yeah though, it has been a while. A few months maybe? How’s it been going?”

“Pretty good! Your friend here moved in next to me, right where you used to live! What a coincidence!”

“Hah, yeah! Anyway, I’m gonna ne-”

I hear another familiar voice behind me. Another person I thought had died…

“There you guys are! I’m sorry I left you waiting- Oh… You…“

The Pro with sunglasses… He’s… alive… I thought he died in Parkour Prison… What happened… How is he here? I didn’t revive him, did I? Maybe accidentally… It doesn’t matter though. I turn to face him. The sunglasses Pro has (to nobody’s surprise) Pro boots on. They look slightly different than the ones I remember him having, but that doesn’t matter.

“You again. I thought you died.”

“I did. I don’t know why I’m here still. I don’t care though. What the hell do you want, shitboots?”

Oh my… Well first off, I’m not a noob anymore… Second off, what the heck is his problem?!

“Look, I don’t mean to be rude or flex or anything, but I’m literally a higher rank than you.”

“You’re still beefless in my heart, gay boy.”

He says this in a really condescending way. He has no clue who he’s talking to, does he? I really don’t want to say anything rude, but I might have to fight back.

“Well you’re a-“

My Pro neighbor jumps between us.

“STOP! Look, there’s no need to use such vulgar language! Sunny, Evbo became the Champion! Look-“

He points at my boots but freezes once he notices they aren’t diamond.

“What the hell is that?”

“That’s netherite…”

The two stare at my feet, which is kinda making me uncomfortable. I kinda fidget with my headband nervously, afraid of them for… some reason… They can’t really do anything to hurt me, it’s just weird.

“What does netherite mean?”

“It’s stronger than diamond, I read about it once. The book said that the one who dons boots made of netherite is the one above the Champion, the one above all…”

“Cut it out with the dramatic intro. Just tell me what it means.”

My neighbor is shaking… yikes…

“The one who wears netherite boots… is the Parkour God…”

Sunny, as my neighbor calls him, begins to say something, but I cut him off.

“Ding ding ding! That’s uh… that’s me! Heh… Yup…”

“Okay well now you sound like you’re faking it.”

“You,” I glare at him, “You scare me. Ahem. Anyway, if you guys are done now, I need to borrow him.”

I point at my Ally.

“Time to go already?”

He sighs and jumps closer to me.

“Wait, where are you guys going?”

My Ally looks at me and asks if I can bring them along with as well.

Well, if I bring those two along, we’ll need more supplies… I’ll be responsible for more people… it should bring our numbers by two… we should have uh… 9 people if we include me… that’s a lot… I dunno… If I want to think about bringing them, I’ll have to think quickly. We’re leaving today. I really don’t want to bring Sunny, but… ugh..

“Fine, they can come. But the three of you need to bring your own food and supplies. I’m not providing for you guys. Meet us at the Parkour Temple. Me, Champion, and Seawatt are going to be waiting there in a few minutes.”

He nods and runs off to go prepare with the two Pros. I’m making a mistake, aren’t I?

- - - - - - - - - - -

We’re waiting at the bottom of the Parkour Temple on the Pro layer when Grey cloak runs up to us. His name was uh… Feryl! Yeah! Yeah, that’s him. He has a backpack on, packed to the brim with what looks like food. He lands on the floor of the Temple while breathing heavily. We have Feryl sit with us while we wait for the others. Sweatshirt and Brown cloak run up together. I ask for their names again and write them down into a book I spawned in. Sweatshirt is Kyuzi, and Brown cloak is Rafiel. Noted. Uhhh I should write down Sunny’s name too… yeah. I need to get my neighbors name and my Ally’s name… that should be everyone coming with us. Half an hour passes and the dynamic trio of two cool people and one jerk roll up. They all seem to have enough food for the trip, so that shouldn’t be a problem. My neighbor’s name is Nate, so that’s cool. That’s going into the name book too.

I guide everyone down the steps to the noob layer and we begin the journey to the edge of Parkour Civilization, the Parkour Outskirts.

Once we hit the Parkour Checkpoint, I take notice of there being no Parkour Pro guarding it. Everyone passes through just fine since there’s nobody to stop us. I doubt they would anyway though since we have the Parkour Champion with us. Our little group of Parkour Pros munch on their food along the way, occasionally doing a few of the larger jumps we encounter out here. A day passes before the elevated terrain I found the Barrier Block in all those years ago comes into view. We reach the bottom of it within 10 minutes after that.

“Okay, we’re building the portal here.”

I move over a few blocks and point at the ground. I spawn in a few obsidian blocks, I’m not sure how big it needs to be. I build a 4x4 frame on the ground so there’s enough room for two of us to stand inside. I turn to Champion.

“Did you bring something I can use to light this with?”

“I brought a bucket of lava from the ruins of Parkour Prison, would that work?”

“I’ll try it.”

I motion to everyone to stand back and dump the lava onto the frame. Nothing happens. I scoop the lava back up, and spawn in a stick. Maybe I can light this…

I dip the stick into the bucket, and it ignites. I win! We win! I toss the stick onto the frame, bracing for some sort of loud noise or bright light.

Nothing happens.

I peek at the portal to see a grey powder where the stick once laid and no portal.

“Did you build it wrong?”

Sunny steps up to me.

“Maybe…”

I pull out the book and look at the photos. I built it too short. It’s supposed to be 4 blocks wide and 5 blocks tall. Apparently, it can be larger than pictured, so I build it so there’s a 3x3 hole in the middle. We can go in in teams of 3.

I build the new portal and light a new stick. The moment it touches the obsidian, the flame shifts to a purple hue, then spirals around the center before bursting outwards to fill the portal frame. An ambient crackling from the portal is the only thing we can hear for about ten seconds before Seawatt says something.

“So, how are we going to do this?”

“I think we should split into teams of three and go in one team after another.”

I divide the nine of us up. Team Fighter is going to be Kyuzi, Rafiel, and Feryl. (Yes, the teams get names. It’s fun that way!) Team Grey is my Ally, Nate, and Sunny, and lastly Team Evbo is me, Seawatt, and Champion.

Champion steps up to the portal, and both Seawatt and I follow. but before we can enter, Team Fighter pushes us out of the way and runs through the portal. Team Grey (lead by Sunny, DESPITE me assigning my Ally as the team leader) runs in afterwards. I guess we’re going in last.

Entering the portal, everything gets warm, and my vision goes purple. When it clears, I’m in a place… something unlike anything I’ve ever seen before. Blue grass on red dirt… blue trees… weird things growing from the ground. The sky is covered by the same red dirt as under the grass. There’s glowing yellow rocks dangling from the ceiling. I build a new portal, looking back at the old one. It has a light blue glow instead of the original purple. I light the new portal the same way as the old one, and the other two teams go in before my team again.

I take some time to look around before I go in. A tall black man magically appears in front of me as I’m investigating the ground. The ground is completely solid like in the photo. I try to get a good look at the black man, but the second I make eye contact, it glares at me and begins to teleport and attempt to hit me.

I panic, not knowing what to do, and sprint towards the portal. Champion sees me and follows. Seawatt was waiting by the portal anyway, so we all get in the portal around the same time.

The purple flames envelop us and before we know it, the sun was glaring down at us once more.

Chapter Text

Once my eyes adjusted to the sudden return of sunlight, I took note of my surroundings. Stepping out of the portal, the first thing I notice is the trees. There’s trees, everywhere. Not just the brown trees I’m used to, but some of them are white with black spots. In the distance I see vaguely cone-shaped trees as well. The ground is completely solid, it’s gonna take a while to get used to not needing to parkour everywhere I go. The ground also moves between different heights. I guess I still need to do some parkour then.

I look around to see how everyone else is doing since they’ve been here for all of probably ten minutes or so. Team Grey is writing something down on a big piece of paper (Which I don’t remember seeing them with until now) and Team Fighter is playing around on the elevated land. Seawatt steps out from behind me and takes a big breath (can ghosts even breathe?). Champion immediately flops down on the grass. Seawatt sits down next to him. I’m the only one not doing anything. What even is there to do here?

I pull out the book again and look through it for any information on what these black and white trees are. I find the page about it and read. It’s called birch. The inside is a nice white-ish color. I can’t find anything about the cone trees though. I’ll get a better look at those later. I sit down and read up on some of the things here while I wait for everyone to finish what they’re doing since I’m not too sure where to go from here.

Here’s a list of some interesting things I found:

There’s a lot of animals here

There’s big holes filled with water called oceans filled with fish and water plants called kelp

There’s evil things that come out at night and attack you

There’s a lot of kinds of trees

People still live here

There’s pink trees with flowers for leaves

Don’t break the yellow buzzing block (called a beehive)

One of the evil night things is green and blows up (it’s called a creeper)

There’s pretty much no rules outside of don’t dig straight down. I dunno why I can’t dig if the ground is solid, but whatever.

People use weird blue rocks called diamonds to buy things instead of parkour (weird but ok)

As I’m reading, someone taps my shoulder and startles me. It’s my Ally.

“Evbo, we made something and want to show you.”

I nod and stand up to go to their area. On the big paper they drew what I assume is our surroundings. I can see the trees and the elevated land. The portal is there too. Most of the paper is blank though.

“We made a map so we don’t get lost!”

“Map? Okay…”

I’m not too sure what to do with it, but it should be useful for when we’re coming back to the portal.

I decide to gather everyone up and bring them on an expedition to find new things about this parkourless world.

We walk for a while before coming across anything of note. But when we do find something, we’re shocked by what we see.

An abandoned series of buildings with pathways between them. A neighborhood left behind by its residents. It reminds me of the neighborhoods I lived in when I was a Parkour Noob. The only thing we find is a few four-legged fuzzy animals. I looked through the book and find something that looks roughly like these, they’re called cats. If you feed them raw fish, they will follow you around. Nate conveniently runs up to me with some fish he put in a bucket that Champion gave him to borrow. I really wanted to bring the cat with us, so I pulled a fish out of the bucket without even asking and gave it to the cat. Smoke particles come up from around the cat. I don’t think that worked.

“What are you doi-“

I give the cat another fish. Nothing. One more fish is left in the bucket. I try one final time.

Heart particles surround the cat and a red piece of fabric appears around its neck. I think it worked! I am genuinely so happy right now, I have a fuzzy thing to keep me company. Not that 8 other people isn’t company enough.

Champion comes to look at the cat.

“What did you do to it?”

“Uhhh made it like me I think…”

“Why?”

“Friend.”

“What even is it?”

“It’s called a cat.” [Evbo pronounces it like sat instead of kat because English is a fucked up language and c can sound like k and s]

“Cat? Do we have those in Parkour Civilization?”

“Don’t think so. But we’re bringing… mmm… Her. We’re bringing her back.”

The cat looks like a girl I guess. I don’t think she’d be mad if I mistook her for a girl if she was a guy anyway, unless she magically starts speaking English. Then I would probably cry.

Champion nods and tells me to keep walking. We’ll hopefully come across something new soon.

The sun is setting now, the book says that once the moon comes up the evil things will come out. Not excited for that since I’ll have to defend the whole group AND my cat. I try to find somewhere for us to stay the night at, but all I see is trees. We’ll have to keep walking.

As the moon rises, I begin to hear noises. Ones I’ve never heard before. Groaning, clunking, hissing, things like that. It soon gets too dark to see easily. I bring everyone under a tree, hoping it will protect us for the night. I spawn in a torch and light it, but Champion advises me to put it out before something sees us. Good idea actually.

What seems like hours pass, we see occasional silhouettes pass making strange noises, but nothing seems to notice us. Until I hear a quiet hissing behind us. A light comes from the other side of the tree, and I hear Sunny wince. I immediately stand up and run to the other side to see something killing what was about to attack us.

Chapter Text

The stranger that saved us from the… I think that’s the Creeper thing… lights up a torch. Their face illuminates, and we see what they really look like.

It’s been SO LONG since I’ve seen a woman… This one has blonde hair up in a ponytail, a dark blue skirt over shiny grey pants, and… I think it’s a shirt? I can’t tell… it looks weird. But she has iron boots on. She must be from the pro level of this world. If they don’t do parkour here, what’s the thing you have to do to rank up? I dunno. She has a green piece of fabric around her neck, it looks kinda like a triangle. I’m not sure what it’s called, but I’ve seen someone wear it before back when I was a lot younger.

I begin to say thank you, but she shushes me. She pulls out a piece of paper and writes something down, showing it to me.

“Grab your friends and your cat, you will all die if you stay out here.”

Yikes, not even a hello. Not even her name. She scribbles the word SILENTLY, underlines it, and shows it to me again. We both get everyone in my group up and she leads us to a circular hole in elevated terrain. She writes to me again, saying that she’ll come back for us in the morning. Okay, sure. Yeah.

Things pass by us all night, somehow none of them see us. When the sun comes up in the morning, the weird white things and the green people begin to burn. Just like she said, the girl walks up to our hole a few minutes later. She ushers us out of the hole and brings us to a group of buildings. Similar to the abandoned neighborhood from earlier, but the buildings are much more intricate and are made in a much different style. The paths are paved with stones rather than flattened grass, and the buildings vary greatly in size. Some are small shacks, while others are like… 30 blocks tall! It’s crazy! Is this what civilization is like here? Where’s the tower to rank up? Surely there’s another layer, that’s how it works in Parkour Civilization. But when I look up, I see nothing. Just the sky. I have so many questions…

The people walking around on the streets all look very different from each other, most are humans, but some seem to be different species. I’m used to seeing a lot of different species everywhere, but there’s a lot of people. Definitely not used to that… The girl leads us to an open field just outside the neighborhood, with nothing but a few small buildings, what looks like a bad excuse for a small wooden statue, and a tall tower with weird… appendages… that spin coming out the front.

There’s people hitting the wooden statues with sticks that get bigger on one end, I don’t know how to explain it. It tapers around the top. Kinda shaped like a t, with the people holding the smaller end of it and hitting the statues with the longer end. I’ve never seen those before.

We approach a person, around my height. He has on a tan sweater with a white collared shirt underneath. He looks at us and smiles.

“Colin, there you are!”

He runs up and hugs the girl. His voice sounds kinda weird, a little high for a dude. Probably doesn’t matter though.

“Who are these people? What happened during your patrol?”

The girl, I guess her name is Colin, responds.

“I found them around midnight. A creeper was about to explode them while they were under a tree.”

Her voice is… really… deep… Is this even a girl? The other guy turns to us and reaches his hand out to me.

“My name is Erin. You must be new around here! I’m the leader of Rolin City, and you’re currently at the base of our military forces. Could you please introduce everyone in your party and explain your intentions here?”

What the heck is a military forces? Intentions? Party? Uh… okay then. I introduce myself and everyone I brought with me, and as I was about to introduce Seawatt, he shook his head. Right… they can’t see him…

Erin brings me into his office inside the tower. I have to leave everyone else with Colin, including my cat. Not too happy about that, but he wasn’t too happy either when I tried to bring her in.

“So, who are you guys? Where are you from? What city? You have netherite and diamonds, we want to trade.”

“What.”

“You’re wearing netherite boots, only boots for some reason, we want to make a trade for some of your netherite and diamonds to help our military.”

“You’re wearing boots t-“

He isn’t wearing boots. Well, they might be boots, but they don’t look like anything I’ve ever seen before. They’re grey and fluffy. Dyed leather maybe?

“Now that I think about it, all your friends were only wearing boots. What’s the deal with that? Is that some sort of custom with your city?”

“City?”

“Yes. Please explain.”

“I’m from uh… another world. Parkour Civilization. The boots are how we tell our ranks.”

“Another world? Why do I doubt that…”

He squints and looks me up and down. I suddenly feel very uncomfortable here.

“I-it’s true… though…”

“Do you have any proof? Anything you can show me proving citizenship?”

“I don’t know what that means…”

I’m on the verge of tears, I don’t know what this guy wants from me. What’s citizenship? How am I meant to show proof of me living in Parkour Civilization?

“I mean… I could do parkour for you… I don’t know what you want me to do…”

“Parkour is a hobby, you could be amazing at it and it would prove nothing.”

“Hobby? It’s a way of life in Parkour Civilization…”

“Tell me about this… Parkour Civilization.”

“Everywhere you look it’s jumps. One block, two block, three block, not four though. Three is where it stops in terms of terrain.”

“You aren’t sounding very convincing right now.”

I flip through my book, hoping for some sort of photo of Parkour Civilization that I could show her. Nothing. It’s all of this world. I should’ve expected that… I mean, it’s literally a book about this world. But… it’s written in PARKOUR! YES! I CAN SHOW HER THAT! I turn the book towards her and show her our language! She… just stares…

“What is this supposed to be?”

“A book from my world about yours, it’s written in Parkour! Is this anything?”

“It’s just boxes and lines. And the occasional letter. I don’t get this.”

“I could read an excerpt in English-“

“Read it to me then. Pick a page and read it.”

I flip to a random page and begin reading.

“In this parkour-less world, people fight with swords… Oh wait- is that what those sticks the people were hitting the statues with?” [He pronounces “sword” as ess-wurd, like s word.]

Huh, I’ve never read this page before.

“Yes..? Did you seriously not know that? It’s pronounced sword, by the way.”

“No. We fight with parkour.”

“What.”

“Parkour Battle.”

“How the hell is that supposed to work?”

“Wanna try one with me? I’ll go easy on you.”

“I doubt it will do anything. Sure.”

Okay, I have to be very careful not to hurt him too bad. I’ll tap out after I hit a second attack.

We both go outside into a flat part of the field. Some of the people outside follow us and watch, including Colin and my friends. I set up some boundaries for both sides of the battle and give Erin a stack of blocks. I think my first attack will be a one block jump, just to get him used to the style of a Parkour Battle.

“Okay, so how this goes is I make a jump. If I succeed in making it, you have to build the same jump and do it. If you miss it, that means my attack hits and I attack again. If you make it, then you defended the attack successfully and you get to attack. If I miss my attack, my attack failed, and you get to attack. You can also try to build a harder attack instead of defending against me, if you make that then my attack is nullified, and I have to defend against that. Do you understand?”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever. Just make this quick.”

I build my attack and make the jump. I turn to Erin to see how he handles it. He makes the jump easily.

“Your turn to attack then. Try to make a jump I can’t do.”

Erin silently builds a four block jump. He seems pretty confident, but fails it, landing just short. His eyes widen as he takes four hearts of damage.

“I forgot to mention, damage scales based on how hard the jump is.”

“WHAT THE HELL? YOU DIDN’T TELL ME I WOULD TAKE DAMAGE! WHAT IS THIS? I FELL FROM ONE BLOCK- HOW DID I TAKE SO MUCH DAMAGE!? WHAT ARE YOU?”

“I thought you knew you would take damage. This is a battle. It’s how we fight. Of course it deals damage.”

“I THOUGHT THIS WAS JUST A GAME, NOT A FIGHT TO THE DEATH!”

“Why wouldn’t it be? In Parkour Civilization, you have to jump to survive.”

[woo hoo he said the line!!!]

Shut up author. I’m in a battle.

[fuck you evbo]

Fuck you too.

[hey, you can’t say that-]

SHUT UP.

[:( fine]

I build a two block jump for my next attack. I make it easily. Erin is visibly shaking but makes the jump. He builds me a one block diagonal. Definitely trying to play it safe. He makes the jump, I just barely go over it. I take my four hearts of damage. I forgot I can still take damage in Parkour Battles. I think I’ll be okay in terms of dying though. I congratulate Erin for hitting his first attack, but he just grimaces at me.

“You attack again then.”

“I remember the rules.”

He does a three block jump, which I defend successfully. I attack him with a one block combined with my signature Evbo 360. He just stares.

“A spin? Seriously?”

He tries the jump, but only makes a 180. He takes another four hearts.

“Alrighty then. I’ll call this battle off for now. You did a good job. You might want to heal up a bit. I assume you’re at two hearts?”

“One heart, actually… Really seemed like you wanted me dead…”

“Nope, I didn’t mean to hit you so hard- Most attacks only deal four hearts. I have done one insta-kill though.“

“Insta-kill? Seriously? You can KILL someone with parkour?”

“Yup! I almost killed you, actually.”

“Eh… You know, I guess… I believe you now? I don’t know what this means. You literally almost jumped me to death. I have no clue how you pulled that off… but you did. Congrats. Let’s take this back to my office…”

I nod and we return to the office. I can hear my friends cheering for me as I walk away with Erin. Slow and confused cheering sounds like it’s emerging from the rest of the crowd.

He sits down in his chair at his desk, and I sit down as well.

“So, tell me more about your… world…”

“There’s four layers, well, and a fifth but it’s no longer part of the main world. Only three can be lived on by the public though. Parkour Noobs are the bottom layer, wearing leather boots. Parkour Pros are number two, with iron boots. The lost layer is the Parkour Fighters, and they wear chainmail. Parkour Masters are the highest layer most people can live on, and wear gold. There is only one Parkour Champion, who wears diamond boots. That’s the very top. They essentially rule Parkour Civilization.”

“What about your netherite boots?”

“I’m the Parkour God.”

“A god? Are you serious?”

He sounds skeptical.

“Yes, I am. I could prove it to you if you want.”

“Prove it to me then.”

I set up my flying parkour to bring me up a few blocks. Erin stares at me, still skeptical.

“What is this meant to prove? You’re using glass.”

“No, come feel.”

He comes over and waves his hand under my feet. His eyes widen as his hand goes right through my invisible blocks.

“What the hell kind of tricks are you using…”

“I can parkour on air, essentially flying I guess.”

“You… How the hell…”

“I don’t know myself. Oh, I can also spawn in almost any block I want. Is there anything you want?”

“Mmm… a stack of netherite blocks.”

“I don’t think I can do that… Lemme see…”

I don’t know what a netherite block looks like, but I do know diamonds. I pull out three diamond blocks and toss them onto the floor.

“This… isn’t netherite…”

“I don’t know what netherite blocks look like, but I can do diamonds.”

“Can you do gold? Iron?”

I spawn in three of each and toss them to him.

“I don’t want to give you too much, that’d just be cheating for you. I’m only doing this to prove my power. Do you understand?”

Erin nods, he’s trembling.

“Y-yeah… Do you like… have a favorite block?”

“Mhm!”

I spawn in one barrier block and give it to him. I like barrier blocks because they’re invisible. Invisible parkour is fun. I also like how it looks as an item too.

“What is this?”

“A barrier block. You’re unable to get them by any normal means, and if you place it, you can’t break it. Well, unless you’re a Parkour Champion or Parkour God. Use that wisely. Oh, also it’s invisible unless you’re holding another barrier block.”

“Is this like, magic?”

“Nope.”

“Strange… you really are something, Evbo…”

“Yeah… Well, I’ve told you a lot about my world. Tell me more about yours.”

“We call this world the Overworld. There are two dimensions connected to ours through portals. The Nether and The End. We don’t know much about either though. Let’s see… we have a lot of biodiversity here, many kinds of plants and animals. A lot of biomes, caves, mountains, just a lot of variety in general. We have many humanoid species as well. Several spoken and written languages. It’s quite the coincidence we share a spoken language, isn’t it?”

I nod. I never thought about the concept of other languages outside of English and Parkour.

“We have many different cultures depending on where you live, I assume your world has something similar. Many different cities have relations with each other, and those relations are why I brought you in here today, Evbo. You don’t have a city, but you have a whole world. I want to get Rolin to have a good relationship with Parkour Civilization. Would you be willing to make a treaty? Maybe a trade deal?”

“I have no clue what you’re talking about. I’ve never heard any of those words in my life.”

“Ugh, well… A treaty is an agreement. A trade deal makes it so we can exchange goods and services between our cities. Or worlds, in your case.”

“Hm…. Yeah sounds good.”

“Okay, let me see what I have for something you can sign. I haven’t prepared any sort of formal document….”

He rummages through his drawers and finds a notebook. He scribbles down some words and turns it to me, handing me the pen he used.

“Read through what I wrote, and if you see everything as a fair deal, you can sign your name and the name of your… civilization… on the blank line. This is not very formal, I’ll get something better prepared later. This is just a placeholder.”

I skim over what Erin wrote. It essentially says that our cities will aid each other if there’s ever a war, we will be able to engage in the exchange of goods, services, and other such things whenever needed, and we won’t attack each other in war. Doesn’t sound too bad to me. Not exactly sure what goods and services Parkour Civilization has, but yeah.

I sign the paper and write Parkour Civilization down as well. I try to copy where Erin placed everything. He takes back the paper and looks it over.

“You didn’t write your full name…”

“My full name?”

“First, middle if you have it, and last names. You only wrote your first name.”

“I only have one name, and that’s Evbo.”

“Could you write your username instead?”

“Yeah, sure.”

I add an underscore after Evbo. Haha, yeah, we’re still in Minecraft. The author got distracted by worldbuilding and forgot to include Minecraft features lmao.

[nuh uh]

Yuh huh

Ahem, anyway… Erin stands up and reaches his hand out.

“So, we have a deal?”

I stand up too and copy what he’s doing. I have no clue why he’s sticking his hand out, but whatever.

“Yeah. Deal.”

He stares at me, and seems to motion towards his hand. Am I doing something wrong? I’m doing what he’s doing.

“Ahem, shake my hand… so we can… uh… close… the deal…”

“What?”

“You seriously don’t shake hands in Parkour Civilization?”

“Never heard of it.”

“We might have to trade some culture too then I guess…”

He grabs my hand tightly and shakes it up and down. I have no clue how to handle this, so I just let my arm go limp and flop around while he does this.

“Eh, good enough. Well, that’s done… I’ll take you back outside then. Colin will give you a tour of the city. Do you need somewhere to stay?”

“Yeah… I guess so…”

“He’ll take you there then.”

Why’s Erin calling Colin a he? She’s a girl… Her voice was a bit deep but… she isn’t…

Oh. My. Parkour. God.