Chapter Text
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Wednesday
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To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]
Subject: Application forms
Dear Mr. Young,
Please find attached the forms you’re required to fill out before starting your internship. Hand in the signed version on Monday to the department secretary to finalize your application.
Welcome to the team.
Sincerely,
Dr. Nicholas Rush
PI, Department of Natural Sciences
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To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]
Subject: RE: Application forms
Hi,
I think you made a mistake. I’m majoring in military history and am in no capacity to carry out the experiments described in your forms.
I still need a topic for my final research paper, though, and laboratory wormholes sound very promising. I hope you don’t mind if I get back to you about this later this semester.
Regards,
Everett Young
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To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]
Subject: RE: RE: Application forms
Forget you ever saw these forms. Requests for collaborations should be addressed to [email protected] . Though I sincerely doubt that we’d be any help to someone with no mathematical background.
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To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]
Subject: Up your alley
We’re not hiring that new intern. Fool can’t even write his own initials. There’ll be a student from the history department asking about our studies as I accidently sent him the forms. We’re not indulging him either. You deal with this.
Nick
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To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]
Subject: Rude
Bold of you to assume I have had no mathematical training whatsoever. Are you always such a prick when people take an interest in your work? Or is it reserved for people in Humanities?
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To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]
Subject: RE: Rude
High school math is child's play compared to what we do here. To answer your question: I despise everything that has to do with the military. Only studying it is even worse as it points to extreme cowardice. If you like war so much, why don’t you join in yourself?
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To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]
Subject: Request for collaboration
Dear Dr. Jackson,
I was accidentally emailed the application forms for a project on laboratory wormholes. As I am a history major working on said project is of little interest to me, but for my final paper on military history and outlooks in the near future I would like to learn more about this project. Would it be possible to discuss this with someone?
Kind regards,
Everett Young
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To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]
Subject: RE: Request for collaboration
Dear Everett,
As a department we highly encourage interdisciplinary collaboration. I would like to invite you to join us during the coffee break at 10:30 next Friday in the canteen of the science wing so that we can discuss the matter further.
Sincerely,
Dr. Daniel Jackson
PI, Head of Department of Natural Sciences
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To: [email protected]
CC: [email protected]
From: [email protected]
Subject: Application
Dear Bailey,
After careful consideration we have decided to place you with Dr. Volker rather than Dr. Rush’s group. We are convinced this is a better fit for all parties involved. You will be working on the same project, but focussing on the astrophysical aspects. I have attached the forms we need you to sign. Please don’t hesitate to contact me if you have any questions.
Sincerely,
Dr. Daniel Jackson
PI, Head of Department of Natural Sciences
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To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]
Subject: RE: Up your alley
Nick,
Are you incapable of reading? I’m sending you the contact details of my optician.
You know the university policy is to stimulate interdisciplinary collaborations. I’ve invited the student over for coffee and you will talk to him and make him sign the confidentiality agreement, since you disclosed our project to him.
Daniel
P.S. I’ve transferred Bailey to Dale’s group, but I’m not above returning him to you if you do not fix this mess.
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A string of text messages
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To: TJ
From: Everett
Why do scientists always have to be rude?
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To: Everett
From: TJ
It’s in their nature. Did you get into a fight with your professor again?
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To: TJ
From: Everett
Some asshole sent me the info about a physics project meant for someone else. I expressed an interest.
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To: Everett
From: TJ
And now you’re fighting with this stranger?
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To: TJ
From: Everett
He started it. Wanna grab dinner later?
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To: Everett
From: TJ
You’re an idiot. Lecture ends at 6. How’s the knee? Up for a short walk?
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To: TJ
From: Everett
Good enough to walk you home. Entrance of the west wing at 6.15
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To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]
Subject: RE: RE: Rude
Let me guess, you despise the military for having a code. For obeying orders without a second thought. You think that makes us stupid and that it means we are incapable of thinking for ourselves and that makes us weak. You, of course, with your superior intellect are above all that.
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To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]
Subject: RE:RE: RE: Rude
I despise them for being incapable of understanding logic and reason. They are hypocrites with guns who can’t think for themselves. I take it you’re fond of them, though, considering the liberal use of the first person plural. If Dr. Jackson invites you for coffee, don’t bother showing up.
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To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]
Subject: RE: RE: RE: RE: Rude
I was in the army. Air Force. Until I broke my knee. I decided to use my time in remission to finish my education. Took extra classes in the Math department, including Logic. Do your research.
I think you’ve just given me an extra incentive to show up. See you on Friday. I promise I won’t bring my gun.
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From: [email protected]
To: [email protected] , [email protected]
Subject: Meeting scheduled on Friday March 3rd at 10:00 (MST)
This is an automatically generated email. Please click here to add the meeting “Monthly joined group meeting SG-OX” to your calendar.
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To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]
Subject: Coffee
Nick,
Nice try, I rescheduled your online meeting with the group from Oxford to 7AM. I expect you are capable of sorting everything out within 3.5 hours. If you are not at coffee, Bailey and Eli will switch groups. You have been warned.
Daniel