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“I’m sorry, Jongho.”
Mingi’s soft whisper is heard loud and clear by Jongho, who truly has selective hearing at times when he doesn’t want to be disturbed.
This should be one of those “ do not disturb ” times, considering it’s got to be something like 2am, they’re in the middle of the forest, and it’s freezing cold. But this feels important.
“What’re you talking about, hyung?” Jongho asks while he rolls over in his sleeping bag, which is stuffed with an extra blanket and literally all of his other clothes as extra insulation. He didn’t think to bring another sleeping bag when he came here; he hadn’t been expecting to find Mingi of all people and he’d hoped that Yunho would’ve figured out how to survive in this world at this point considering it’s been ten years. But looking at Mingi, who had been frozen in crystal when he found him for who knows how long, maybe time works a bit differently here.
Mingi is already looking at Jongho when he finally shuffles around to look over at his friend. Jongho still isn’t used to seeing Mingi without glasses. Though he hadn’t seen Mingi face to face for about 15 years, he’d seen him plenty of times through the photos he keeps on his desk. Though, Mingi’s hair was brown.. or cherry red then too, and he didn’t look so sad all the time. Or maybe he did and Jongho just didn’t notice.
There was the obvious factor that the Mingi in the photos only reached 17, whereas the one in front of him is 23. And the even more obvious fact that Mingi surely wasn’t yellow with fire super powers.
But he’s still undeniably so Mingi that Jongho feels so happy whenever he looks at him because the last time he saw Mingi in his world, it was under the worst circumstances imaginable.
“I’m sorry I’m not who you want me to be.”
Jongho’s a little bit more awake now, confused by Mingi’s words.
“What do you mean? Mingi, it’s so early. Or late. Don’t make me figure out what you’re trying to say, don’t give me a riddle.” Jongho says, not unkindly. He puts a little pout in his voice to make it clear he’s only teasing. Even though he really does just want to sleep, he’s come to realize that Mingi is extremely sensitive, and he doesn’t want to hurt his feelings without meaning to.
Mingi sometimes speaks in a way that can only be described as confusing. He tends to mumble, and slur words together without meaning to. He tries to say exactly what he’s thinking, but his way of thinking tends to confuse others. Jongho always found him funny as a kid, especially in times when they’d all watch a movie together and Mingi would get all serious about his analysis and why the movie means whatever it is he thinks it means. Usually he’d do things like that completely unprompted, and it would take him forever to get to the point, which only made it feel more silly to Jongho. It always made Yunho laugh too. Jongho wasn’t there when he’d gotten his wisdom teeth removed, but Yunho had gone to visit him, and told him Mingi was even funnier then.
“I mean , I’m not who you want me to be. How else can I say it… I’m not… I look like him, and I remember you. I remember a lot about that life, but I'm not him.” Mingi tries to explain. And Jongho knows he’s technically right, this Mingi isn’t exactly the same person, he’s had his own life in this world completely separate from the one where he’d spend hours in Yunho’s room watching him play on his then-shiny new DS.
But if Mingi's memories started transferring to this Mingi, that must mean something, right? Jongho can’t really see any reason to differentiate the two.
“You’re still Mingi though, hyung, aren’t you?”
“Just because that’s my name too doesn’t mean anything…”
“But you act the same. You sound the same. Who says you’re not the Mingi I want you to be? That sentence doesn’t even make any sense.”
Mingi fidgets with the strings of the hoodie he’s wearing.
It’s a good thing he’s got fire powers and he doesn’t get cold. Jongho thinks. Mingi's ‘sleeping bag’ consisted of one of Yunho’s big coats that Jongho had brought and one very flat pillow that Jongho generously donated.
“ Your Mingi wouldn’t set a whole market on fire…”
Ah. That’s what he’s talking about.
Earlier that day Jongho had spotted what looked like a weird looking farmers market, weird because it looked like it was run by animals. Between the two of them, they had exactly no money. Jongho wasn’t even sure what currency was used here. But he figured they’d be able to go in and maybe pocket a few things without anyone knowing. Jongho had been a Boy Scout so he at least knew how to set up animal traps, but it’d be nice to just have some food for the road.
Mingi had said he didn’t want to go but Jongho had insisted that it’d be better if they both grab some stuff to make the most of their farmers market heist.
Really, it was Jongho’s fault for bringing Mingi with him; there was too much going on and too many ’people’ around. Mingi didn’t fully turn into ’The Beast’ though, so Jongho’s not sure what the problem is.
“ You didn’t set a whole market on fire.”
“But I have, though! Jongho! I’m a monster. I could feel myself slipping today. I could feel my vision going dark, I was this close to losing control.” Jongho’s sure Mingi had thrown up his fingers or something for emphasis, but it was a little too dark to see for sure whatever gesture he made specifically.
“Mingi, I don’t really care what you did, what, a million years ago? You didn’t do anything today, you left before anything happened.” And it’s true, Jongho had felt the temperature beside him rising quickly, like if you had your stove on high and then left it like that for a while. He’d turned to ask if Mingi was alright but the older was already running back into the forest, which probably wasn’t very smart but he managed to calm down before he set anything major on fire (just slightly singed a bush).
“I hope it wasn’t a million years ago! And you should care! Jongho! I’m a monster!”
“But, I
don’t
care about that.”
“Why not? Jongho, you’re a human, if I ever hurt you accidentally as ‘The Beast’, I don’t think I could live with myself.”
It always comes back down to Mingi just being afraid.
“See, that’s why I know you’re
my
Mingi. If you weren’t, you wouldn’t know me, right? You wouldn’t care so much about me.”
“Of course I’d still care! I care about everyone I hurt!”
“But doesn’t that mean you’re not really a monster? It’s like you said, you can’t control yourself when you’re like that. You’d never set a market on fire, or hurt me, if that’s what you’re worried about. Even if you do accidentally, I’ll get over it.”
“But
your
Min-”
“You’re thinking way too much about how
I
should see you. I’m not disappointed that you’re a little different than how I remember. You’re still Mingi to me.” Jongho cuts him off firmly. If he lets Mingi keep going they’ll be up all night. They’d be until the end of time if Jongho let Mingi keep talking about everything supposedly wrong about him.
“I’m not…” Mingi argues weakly.
Jongho knows that Mingi doesn’t agree with him. Yunho would’ve known what to say to cheer him up.
“Fine, you can be sorry if you want, but I don’t accept the apology. You’re the same annoying older brother I always wanted.”
Mingi doesn’t respond to that, so Jongho assumes they’ve reached a stalemate. He’s pretty sure he’s won this argument, if you can even call it that.
“I’m gonna go to sleep, ok? I’ll make more traps in the morning, but you have to cook whatever we catch.” Jongho declares before rolling back over to his preferred sleeping side.
As he’s starting to let himself get pulled into sleep he can hear some shuffling beside him before feeling the heat emanating off of Mingi in waves. Not close enough to touch but close enough to feel his companion’s presence. Jongho pretends he doesn’t notice and he doesn’t complain this time.